NationStates Jolt Archive

If You Were Straight, And You HAD To Have Sex With One Person Of Your Own Sex, Or If You Were Gay And You Had To Have Sex With One Person Of The Opposite Sex, Who Would It Be?

I'm A Straight Guy, And I Choose Johnny Depp (Pirates Of The Caribbean Style)

Fass. He's dreamy.

I would choose to have sex with me.

Philip Seymour Hoffman. :eek:

Being bisexual, I feel the question doesn't really apply to me ;)

*looks wary* What constitutes sex here?

what situation would there be where I would have to have sex with someone?

what situation would there be where I would have to have sex with someone?

A situation involving mind controlling aliens.

If You Were Straight, And You HAD To Have Sex With One Person Of Your Own Sex, Or If You Were Gay And You Had To Have Sex With One Person Of The Opposite Sex, Who Would It Be?

I'm A Straight Guy, And I Choose Johnny Depp (Pirates Of The Caribbean Style)
What about if you're bi? Who/what do you have to have sex with then?

what situation would there be where I would have to have sex with someone?

A highly contrived NSGeneral thread. Now stop being awkward and answer the highly contrived question :p

*looks wary* What constitutes sex here?

Why don't you guess?

What about if you're bi? Who/what do you have to have sex with then?

Pick an animal and get it over with ;)

A highly contrived NSGeneral thread. Now stop being awkward and answer the highly contrived question :p
oh. I can't choose then. It's between Gwen Stefani circa 1995 and Marissa Tomei.

Pick an animal and get it over with ;)
Well, I hear the great Canadian moose is pretty kinky...

Pick an animal and get it over with ;)
Dolphins!

Well, I hear the great Canadian moose is pretty kinky...
His 'tool' is pretty big, you know... You'd better choose a rabbit or something. :D

Kiera Knightley. I love her cheek bones.

His 'tool' is pretty big, you know... You'd better choose a rabbit or something. :D
It's said that the dolphin has prehensile* control over his 'tool'.

Prehensile - having the ability in an organ to grasp or hold.

It's said that the dolphin has prehensile* control over his 'tool'.

Prehensile - having the ability in an organ to grasp or hold.
Why would such an ability develop in the penis? :confused: Do they use it for anything other than making baby dolphins?

Why would such an ability develop in the penis? :confused: Do they use it for anything other than making baby dolphins?

grasping and holding, apparently

Why would such an ability develop in the penis? :confused: Do they use it for anything other than making baby dolphins?
I'd be more concerned about how many males are going to invest their time in genetic research trying to bring the trait over to humans.

I'd be more concerned about how many males are going to invest their time in genetic research trying to bring the trait over to humans.

But think of the uses!

If You Were Straight, And You HAD To Have Sex With One Person Of Your Own Sex, Or If You Were Gay And You Had To Have Sex With One Person Of The Opposite Sex, Who Would It Be?
I Don't Know Because I Don't Waste Time On Things Like This And Capitalize Every First Letter In Words.

David Hasselhoff!

I Don't Know Because I Don't Waste Time On Things Like This And Capitalize Every First Letter In Words.
I think the mods are messing with your post. They capitalized the first letter of every word you wrote. :p

Don't worry Super-Power, I got it.

Being bisexual, I feel the question doesn't really apply to me ;)
Me neither...

I'd be more concerned about how many males are going to invest their time in genetic research trying to bring the trait over to humans.
Why be concerned? That's awesome.

If You Were Straight, And You HAD To Have Sex With One Person Of Your Own Sex, Or If You Were Gay And You Had To Have Sex With One Person Of The Opposite Sex, Who Would It Be?

I'm A Straight Guy, And I Choose Johnny Depp (Pirates Of The Caribbean Style)

I would take death before having sex with another male.

I would take death before having sex with another male.

L for loser, Mister Block Capitals.

Jude Law - definitive

http://img429.imageshack.us/img429/1718/0006pax06nw.jpg

Sharleen Spiteri of Texas. Her being Scottish and boyish helps.

Well, I'm a straight male, so if I had to have sex with another male, I think I'd choose a transsexual (http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/p/pre-op_transexuals.asp). :D

I'd say myself.

It's said that the dolphin has prehensile* control over his 'tool'.

Prehensile - having the ability in an organ to grasp or hold.

Not just dolphins. :cool:

Yuck. The only way to have sex with another guy involves the same hole that poop comes out of. That's just not right.

Yuck. The only way to have sex with another guy involves the same hole that poop comes out of. That's just not right.

*gasp* And the other kind involves a hole that urine comes out of!
:rolleyes:

Yuck. The only way to have sex with another guy involves the same hole that poop comes out of. That's just not right.

You shit out of your mouth???

http://img429.imageshack.us/img429/1718/0006pax06nw.jpg

Sharleen Spiteri of Texas. Her being Scottish and boyish helps. Woah, it's David Tennant!

Yuck. The only way to have sex with another guy involves the same hole that poop comes out of. That's just not right.
You could try oral. :D

Edit: Damn! Three guys have beaten me for less than a minute.

You could try oral. :D

Edit: Damn! Three guys have beaten me for less than a minute.
Good point. A mouth is a mouth is a mouth.

Yuck. The only way to have sex with another guy involves the same hole that poop comes out of. That's just not right.

And avoiding the poop shoot with women involves the same hole that babies, discharges and menstrual blood comes from. That's not right, either.

And avoiding the poop shoot with women involves the same hole that babies, discharges and menstrual blood comes from. That's not right, either.

oral sex>>all

Woah, it's David Tennant!

There is a slight resemblance, but not so much from the front, (http://images.google.se/images?q=sharleen%20spiteri&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&sa=N&tab=wi) I should say.

oral sex>>all

Then you must have had some pretty lousy non-oral sex.

Then you must have had some pretty lousy non-oral sex.

You make a good point. Are you stalking me? Also, I happen to be better at the oral variety, which is important to me.

Nobody really jumps to mind, and I assume we can't name people that we know personally? Meh, I'll just say Lovely Boys (the NS poster, i've seen pics).

Being bisexual, I feel the question doesn't really apply to me ;)
You know we're friends, resident of Cabra West, but why do you constantly feel the need to advertise this fact? It's getting a little bit annoying.

So, I think you might have to choose an animal, cartoon character, or possibly an inanimate object to have sex with. :)

I would take death before having sex with another male.
Oh come on, surely your life is not that disposable? But if it is, I suggest you join the cannon fodder line right away. At least die doing something useful.

You know we're friends, resident of Cabra West, but why do you constantly feel the need to advertise this fact?

Straight people advertise their sexuality all the time. Let the bi's do it, too.

You make a good point. Are you stalking me?

I wouldn't be a very good stalker if I told you, now, would I?

Also, I happen to be better at the oral variety, which is important to me.

Personally, I try to excel at all varieties.

I would take death before having sex with another male.

Me too, but preferably the death of whoever thinks they can leave me no choice.

I wouldn't be a very good stalker if I told you, now, would I?

No, you wouldn't. But... wait, that doesn't mean you aren't...


Personally, I try to excel at all varieties.


I didn't say I wasn't going to practice:)

No, you wouldn't. But... wait, that doesn't mean you aren't...

See. I'm not a bad stalker. This keeps you guessing.

I didn't say I wasn't going to practice:)

Just as long as you know that practice in this is lifelong.

And avoiding the poop shoot with women involves the same hole that babies, discharges and menstrual blood comes from. That's not right, either.
Ok, Babies aren't poop, blood isn't really that gross, and discharges? What kinda women do you hang with?

And none of that is anywhere close to being POOP.

I choose scarlett johansen. She's purdy.

Ok, Babies aren't poop, blood isn't really that gross, and discharges? What kinda women do you hang with?

And none of that is anywhere close to being POOP.

Babies are quite close to being poop. about every ten minutes, sometimes.

probably have sex with the most feminine looking male I can find.

Ok, Babies aren't poop,

They're worse than poop. Poop you wash off. Babies, well, let's just say the stains can be quite tough to get off of shoes.

blood isn't really that gross,

Spreads tonnes of diseases.

and discharges? What kinda women do you hang with?

Normal ones. You do know that woman have continuous discharges from the cervix? I mean, you can't be that ignorant about the body you fuck?

And none of that is anywhere close to being POOP.

Yup, they're tonnes worse, especially as one of them comes once a month and the other all the time, while poop mishaps are terribly rare, and easily manageable.

See. I'm not a bad stalker. This keeps you guessing.

Congratulations, Mr. Fass. You've made me quite insane. Hooray for you.

Just as long as you know that practice in this is lifelong.

Another seventy years of practice. I can live with that.

And avoiding the poop shoot with women involves the same hole that babies, discharges and menstrual blood comes from. That's not right, either.

Come to think of it, why do we even have sex at all?

Congratulations, Mr. Fass. You've made me quite insane. Hooray for you.

Some people play tennis. I erode the human soul.

Another seventy years of practice. I can live with that.

Good for you. Complacency is libido poison.

Come to think of it, why do we even have sex at all?

Because our hands would chafe otherwise.

probably have sex with the most feminine looking male I can find.

I don't see how that helps. I mean, for one thing, it's pretty fucking impossible to make a penis look like a vagina. And for another, wouldn't you then forever be associating your unwanted sexual experience with the wanted ones?

poop mishaps are terribly rare, and easily manageable.
I just puked in my mouth a little bit. *shudders*

I just puked in my mouth a little bit. *shudders*

Don't worry. The thought of vaginal sex does that to me too, sometimes.

Pick an animal and get it over with ;)

mermaid :cool:

Don't worry. The thought of vaginal sex does that to me too, sometimes.

I thought you were a better man than that, FAss. I won't let you stalk me any more, if indeed you ever were stalking me.

I thought you were a better man than that, FAss. I won't let you stalk me any more, if indeed you ever were stalking me.

I said "sometimes." I've of course had vaginal sex and wouldn't have that much difficulty having it again, with the proper protection, of course. And then there is so much more to sex than fucking...

I said "sometimes." I've of course had vaginal sex and wouldn't have that much difficulty having it again, with the proper protection, of course. And then there is so much more to sex than fucking...
A point we can both agree on!

I said "sometimes." I've of course had vaginal sex and wouldn't have that much difficulty having it again, with the proper protection, of course. And then there is so much more to sex than fucking...

That there is. And HOORAY, I get my stalker back!!

Scarlett Johansson. Very sexy.

That there is. And HOORAY, I get my stalker back!!

Or do you? Ooooooh....

Or do you? Ooooooh....

**falls on the floor and twitches**

if only there was a doctor watching me...

**falls on the floor and twitches**

if only there was a doctor watching me...

Using the oath against me. That's low.

Using the oath against me. That's low.

I'm a stalker victim, yet somehow my stalker contrives to make me feel bad. Clearly, I am no match for the awesome powers of Fass.

I'm a stalker victim, yet somehow my stalker contrives to make me feel bad. Clearly, I am no match for the awesome powers of Fass.

Decorum before all, my dear. Just because someone is a stalker doesn't mean you can get away with strikes below the belt.

Decorum before all, my dear. Just because someone is a stalker doesn't mean you can get away with strikes below the belt.

My apologies. **stops twitching, gets up from floor, offers conciliatory handshake**

My apologies. **stops twitching, gets up from floor, offers conciliatory handshake**

Accepts, but without any acknowledges as to the stalking. Deniability in courts of law, and all that.

Accepts, but without any acknowledges as to the stalking. Deniability in courts of law, and all that.

Sure, I understand. It wouldn't do to admit it.

Good point. A mouth is a mouth is a mouth.

I just puked in my mouth a little bit. *shudders*


Third orifice eliminated.

Third orifice eliminated.

Still leaves hands.

Still leaves hands.

And who knows where those have been?