NationStates Jolt Archive


Evolution at Work - Stupid People Eaten by Animals

Lt_Cody
07-01-2006, 21:24
Animals know stupid when they see it
Wed Jan 4, 2006 8:22 AM ET169

By Ed Stoddard

JOHANNESBURG (Reuters) - A South African mugger fleeing the scene of his crime hides in a tiger enclosure.

On the country's coast, a woman attempts to be a good Samaritan by pushing a young seal into the sea, believing the poor thing is stranded.

Both people paid heavily for their stupidity, underscoring one of nature's truisms: humans do dumb things around wild animals.

"I blame it on Walt Disney, where animals are given human qualities. People don't understand that a wild animal is not something that is nice to pat. It can seriously harm you," said James Cameron, a South African professional hunter.

The cartoon image of wildlife may have prompted a 49-year-old South African woman in October to try to help a seal which she believed was stranded, allowing her 1-year-old grandchild to stroke the creature in the process.

The seal responded by biting off the woman's nose.

Cape Fur Seals are common on South African shores and many have become accustomed to humans.

They are a popular tourist attraction and can be viewed playing in the sea by Cape Town's waterfront -- which may also give a false impression of placid friendliness.

"Cute" seal pups have also been used as potent symbols by groups such as the International Fund for Animal Welfare, further enhancing the animal's "cuddly status."

But they can in fact be dangerous and sometimes attack people who venture too close -- as South Africa's noseless do-gooder discovered to her horror.

Then there was the South African robber who made the mistake last month of taking refuge in an enclosure which turned out to be home to a pair of unimpressed tigers.

He had fled into a nearby zoo after security guards heard the screams of a couple he had just mugged in Bloemfontein, about 400 km (250 miles) southwest of Johannesburg.

Not surprisingly, he was mauled to death by the big cats.

The mugger was not the first South African criminal to err in hiding among zoo animals.

Max, a 200 kg (440 lb) gorilla, won fame in 1997 after being wounded by a terrified gunman who jumped a moat into his space in Johannesburg's zoo while fleeing police.

Max pinned the fugitive against the wall of his enclosure and guarded him even after being shot until police arrived, making him an instant folk hero in crime-ridden South Africa.

Other people don't realize that you shouldn't get between a mother and her offspring -- especially when dealing with the world's largest land mammal.

In April of this year, an elephant gored a tourist to death in a Ugandan national park after the man, carrying an 8-year-old boy in his arms, approached the animal's calf.

"I think many people are just far removed from nature. People who live in cities often see nature as something that is tame and manageable," said Sue Lieberman, director of the global species program for conservation group WWF International.

"And wrongly so. We don't need to tame nature, we need to keep the wild out there," she told Reuters.

Then there are the show-offs.

Lions mauled a South African teen-ager in March who came too close to their enclosure while trying to impress his girlfriend.

The sixteen-year-old, his girlfriend and his mother were having lunch with the lion keeper when he ignored advice and went off with his girlfriend to see the lions in the breeding section of the park just north of Johannesburg.

The boy went into an area off-limits to the public and touched a lion through the mesh fence.

The lion quickly sank its teeth into his arm and dragged him under the fence before the curator came, drove the four adult lions in the enclosure away and rescued the teen-ager.

"It just shows a total disregard and disrespect for wild animals," said Cameron.

The boy was luckier than a couple from Taiwan in 1993, who got out of their car to photograph lions up close at a South African game park -- and who were quickly savaged to death by the beasts.

© Reuters 2006. All Rights Reserved.

Honestly, if the general population was thrown into an uncivilized setting and forced to work things out on their own, 2/3 would die from stupid shit like this. "Hello Mr. Teddy Bear, I'd sure like to pet you...Aaahh! My Arm!"
Lunatic Goofballs
07-01-2006, 21:29
Yay Animals! Boo Humans! :D
The Jovian Moons
07-01-2006, 21:33
morons.
GhostEmperor
07-01-2006, 22:10
Yeah, just goes to show you how "intelligently designed" we were... :rolleyes:

Evolution can be harsh, but sometimes it's just funny as hell to see this stuff.
Neo Kervoskia
07-01-2006, 22:13
That seal should get a fucking medal.
Lunatic Goofballs
07-01-2006, 22:16
It all fits into my theory that stupidity should hurt. I'm often stupid. It often hurts. In the same vein, severe stupidity should hurt severely. Fucking around with giant cats is devastatingly stupid.
Sarkhaan
07-01-2006, 23:01
It all fits into my theory that stupidity should hurt. I'm often stupid. It often hurts. In the same vein, severe stupidity should hurt severely. Fucking around with giant cats is devastatingly stupid.
"Evolution at work - Stupid people punished by Lunatic Goofballs"
Deep Kimchi
08-01-2006, 01:07
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=10000081&sid=a89hEmr6WRFU&refer=australia

Jan. 8 (Bloomberg) -- A 21-year old woman died after being attacked yesterday by a shark off the eastern Australian coast while scuba diving, the Sun-Herald reported, citing the police.

Nothing like working your way to the top of the food chain, only to purposefully put yourself down with the tuna, using your arms and legs as live bait.
Briantonnia
08-01-2006, 01:18
:D Hehehe, reads like a Darwin Award nomination. Hehehee. I'm still laughing my ass off over the dumb fuck who hid in the tiger enclosure... fucking moron.
Jimbolandistan
08-01-2006, 01:20
I love a video I saw on dumpalink while I was in Iraq. It was from the seventies by the hair cuts. Dad got out of the truck for a close up of a lion eating. His camera was recovered. The video begins with him getting closer and closer to the eating lion when the shot suddenly goes bouncing all over the place. Apparently he forgot that lions live in prides. The video then cuts to a video camera in one of the other trucks and shows him getting eaten by the lions as his family watches. Priceless.

Lord Jimbo
God-Emperor of Jimbolandistan

'The best tool for opening a closed mind is a crowbar.'
Lt_Cody
08-01-2006, 04:34
Yeah, just goes to show you how "intelligently designed" we were... :rolleyes:

Evolution can be harsh, but sometimes it's just funny as hell to see this stuff.
Well, suppose some of us were designed to entertain the rest with their stupidity? :D
The South Islands
08-01-2006, 04:37
Humans are dumbasses.
Zatarack
08-01-2006, 04:54
Humans are dumbasses.

And how would we know?
Megaloria
08-01-2006, 04:57
Damn you animals, damn you! For every human you eat, I will eat ten of you!
Cannot think of a name
08-01-2006, 05:55
Gang of Sharks Attack Australian (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4591878.stm) - Alert the Jets, we're gonna rumble.

Aside from the Bernstien joke, this is what makes this worthy of the thread-
Locals near the site of the attack on Amity Beach said they often saw sharks in the water, and had been concerned about a possible attack.
Amity Beach? Really? How many danger signs does one need?

The victim was thought to have been swimming in shallow water with a local church group when she was attacked.
Oh, they thought god would protect them.
Straughn
08-01-2006, 09:43
Damn you animals, damn you! For every human you eat, I will eat ten of you!
BASIC HUMAN TRUTH ALERT!!!!
:eek:
Straughn
08-01-2006, 09:45
Honestly, if the general population was thrown into an uncivilized setting and forced to work things out on their own, 2/3 would die from stupid shit like this. "Hello Mr. Teddy Bear, I'd sure like to pet you...Aaahh! My Arm!"
Yeah, well you can blame stupid parents and cushy cartoons for certain things - and this kind of thinking sure as h-e-doublehockeysticks qualifies.
Same thing for that arrogant phuck who worked on Brother Bear or whatever cartoon it was with thte bear named "Kenai" or "Denali" or whatever. Stupid sh*t.
Lt_Cody
09-01-2006, 19:33
Yeah, well you can blame stupid parents and cushy cartoons for certain things - and this kind of thinking sure as h-e-doublehockeysticks qualifies.
Same thing for that arrogant phuck who worked on Brother Bear or whatever cartoon it was with thte bear named "Kenai" or "Denali" or whatever. Stupid sh*t.

Indeed, we need more violence in our cartoons to show little kids the horrors of playing with Baby Bear when Mama Bear shows up...
Straughn
10-01-2006, 03:19
Indeed, we need more violence in our cartoons to show little kids the horrors of playing with Baby Bear when Mama Bear shows up...
Boy howdy. I was 4 years old and playing with one in Denali National Park, when suddenly we all stood in a circle for some reason that i couldn't understand at that age. One of my first 5 great memories, abject terror.
We were *extraordinarily* lucky that the cub's mom wasn't too vigilant.
Funny thing is i don't have any memory of a cartoon telling me it was a-okay to play with bears. *shrug*
Dinaverg
10-01-2006, 03:49
Honestly, if the general population was thrown into an uncivilized setting and forced to work things out on their own, 2/3 would die from stupid shit like this. "Hello Mr. Teddy Bear, I'd sure like to pet you...Aaahh! My Arm!"

I've gotta go with that. Not to mention it would take care of so many problems...overpopulation...homlessness (lotsa open real estate (b^_^)b) etc.
Non Aligned States
10-01-2006, 04:44
It all fits into my theory that stupidity should hurt. I'm often stupid. It often hurts. In the same vein, severe stupidity should hurt severely. Fucking around with giant cats is devastatingly stupid.

Says the man who constantly recieves immense punishment in the groinal region often by blunt trauma objects.

But we can solve the nature problem by removing all safety labels from appliances. Obviously only those intelligent enough to excercise their brains would have a better chance at survival than those who still live in Disneyland.
New Stalinberg
10-01-2006, 05:52
It is clear that the root cause of this behavior is the advent of childproof caps. These thirty year old safety devices are allowing people like these to reach full maturity before they are finally culled by animals, power tools, guns, cars, welding equipment, narcotics etc.

Most reasonable children can be taught to avoid things like pharmaceuticals and toxins when they carry a label like the skull and crossbones. The message seemed clear to me at an early age.

The sad thing is that these people will often kill others along with themselves or worse yet, pro-create.
Marrakech II
10-01-2006, 06:09
That seal should get a fucking medal.

At least a bucket of fish....