NationStates Jolt Archive

Supposing you'd just come to the realisation, doesn't matter how or why, that the reason every relationship you've ever had has been nothing but an unfulfilling, casual, roll-in-the-sack affair, is because you're actually sleeping around as a means of sticking two fingers up at an ex-partner: kind of like saying “Yeah look at what you're not getting anymore biatch” to them.
With this in mind, how would you go about breaking the pattern/redeeming your soul?
Would you seek out the ex-partner and perhaps try to put them in the past? Or would you perhaps try to seek a more 'proper' relationship?

I'd probably just continue sleeping around and let go of the newly realised obsession with the ex-partner. You don't have to give up the fantastic world of promiscuity just because you realised what made you get into it.

I'd probably just continue sleeping around and let go of the newly realised obsession with the ex-partner. You don't have to give up the fantastic world of promiscuity just because you realised what made you get into it.

I like that answer, it has potential.

Casual roll-in-the-sack = unfulfilling? What? :confused:

I like that answer, it has potential.

I try to go through life choosing the funnest options when possible, and here, forgetting the ex and keeping the sex is the funnest one. :)

all i know for sure is

"Would you seek out the ex-partner and perhaps try to put them in the past?" is the wrong thing to do.

all i know for sure is

"Would you seek out the ex-partner and perhaps try to put them in the past?" is the wrong thing to do.

You're right, it is blatently the wrong thing to do (and would also be somewhat 'creepy':eek:). I just put that down so I'd be soliciting a range of responses.

I'd also like to further clarify that this is not an obsession with the ex-partner - indeed there has been no feeling there for quite some time - but simply that served as the 'trigger' for the person in question seeking out short-term relationships, and slowely this evolved into a habbit which in turn has resulted in some promising relationships with potential being cut-short.

Supposing you'd just come to the realisation, doesn't matter how or why, that the reason every relationship you've ever had has been nothing but an unfulfilling, casual, roll-in-the-sack affair, is because you're actually sleeping around as a means of sticking two fingers up at an ex-partner: kind of like saying “Yeah look at what you're not getting anymore biatch” to them.
With this in mind, how would you go about breaking the pattern/redeeming your soul?
Would you seek out the ex-partner and perhaps try to put them in the past? Or would you perhaps try to seek a more 'proper' relationship?
I would change my focus. Instead of seeking out either "casual" or "proper" relationships, I would work at making myself into the best "me" I can be, and concentrate on being with people with whom I share common interests. Then just let events take their course. :)

I would change my focus. Instead of seeking out either "casual" or "proper" relationships, I would work at making myself into the best "me" I can be, and concentrate on being with people with whom I share common interests. Then just let events take their course. :)
Well, yeah, that certainly seems like what YOU would do :p But that's not what the young people do these days. That stopped awhile back, man.

I'd say yeah, you should probably focus less on giving the ex the figurative finger. I must say, a majority of my relationships in the past have been to make a point to one or two people, even though I was on good terms with both of them. It's really crappy that the measure of which you enjoy a relationship is whether or not it's getting under their skin.

Unless you're a girl, and then take everything negative I said and apply a positive seal to it, because deep down that's what I really meant. I love watching my ex-boyfriends squirm.

Hmmm, yes....put more thought into that one post than probably every post for the past two days...

Unique idea. Work on developing chaste relationships. That way you can get to know those you are dating. Sex takes away from getting to know someone. Your ex doesn't give a rip so forget making any contact.

Therapy. Everyone needs therapy.

Hmm, I don't want a relationship, but I'll pretent something for the sake of the question.

I'd keep having roll-n-the-sack affairs and even it out by having a concubine.

[The person in question] should attempt to develop relationships that aren't based exclusively on sex. This doesn't mean [the hypothetical person] have to stop having sex, but rather than sex isn't the ultimate point of [the hypothetical person's] association with a particular person.

Yes, and I'd also recommend that [the hypothetical person] give up the grudge they're holding against their ex.

Supposing you'd just come to the realisation, doesn't matter how or why, that the reason every relationship you've ever had has been nothing but an unfulfilling, casual, roll-in-the-sack affair, is because you're actually sleeping around as a means of sticking two fingers up at an ex-partner: kind of like saying “Yeah look at what you're not getting anymore biatch” to them.
With this in mind, how would you go about breaking the pattern/redeeming your soul?
Would you seek out the ex-partner and perhaps try to put them in the past? Or would you perhaps try to seek a more 'proper' relationship?

Either, or both. It must be said though, that the "sleeping around" is a far superior idea to hitting the bottle/drugs, so if it doesnt work, carry on, I'd say.

Supposing you'd just come to the realisation, doesn't matter how or why, that the reason every relationship you've ever had has been nothing but an unfulfilling, casual, roll-in-the-sack affair, is because you're actually sleeping around as a means of sticking two fingers up at an ex-partner: kind of like saying “Yeah look at what you're not getting anymore biatch” to them.
With this in mind, how would you go about breaking the pattern/redeeming your soul?
Would you seek out the ex-partner and perhaps try to put them in the past? Or would you perhaps try to seek a more 'proper' relationship?

No disrespect intended, but I'm not sure how great all the advice you've been getting thus far is. It seems that what you are looking for isn't sex, but rather an emotional commitment. If so, then you might want to consider breaking off the sex simply so that you can work out what you want and find someone who can fulfill that wish. The roll-in-the-hay casual affair may be great, but it doesn't seem to be the ultimate answer to what you're looking for.