NationStates Jolt Archive

(found online, when I logged out of hotmail today)

'Lovestruck millionairess Sharon Tendler has finally married the love of her life... a dolphin called Cindy. Ms Tendler - a 41-year-old rock concert producer from London - has been visiting the aquatic dreamboat at his theme park home in the resort of Eilat, Israel, up to three times a year for 15 years. But last week Sharon finally plucked up the courage to ask the 35-year-old dolphin's trainer Maya Zilber for the mammal's fin in marriage. She agreed and in a romantic ceremony they finally became dolphin and wife.

The bride was dressed all in white as she knelt beside the groom waiting in the water. And with a kiss the romantic union was sealed to happy cheers from spectators. After a mackerel reception, a tearful Sharon said: "I made a dream come true and I am not a pervert. "I'm the happiest girl on earth."'

Someone posted a topic about this a few days ago....

Wow, an idiot.

It's not politically correct to criticize her choice of mate.

Every time someone is politically correct I masturbate and Dunkum kills a kitten.

It's not politically correct to criticize her choice of mate.


Says who? Why should we listen to them anyway?

Every time someone is politically correct I masturbate and Dunkum kills a kitten.
Now, now, Fass says that we shouldn't be bigots.

After all, a dolphin is a fairly intelligent creature - we shouldn't deny him the right to marry - and we shouldn't deny the woman her right to choose whomever or whatever she wants to mate with.

Think of the terrible slippery slope we might find ourselves on if we start restricting who can marry what.

Now, now, Fass says that we shouldn't be bigots.

After all, a dolphin is a fairly intelligent creature - we shouldn't deny him the right to marry - and we shouldn't deny the woman her right to choose whomever or whatever she wants to mate with.

Think of the terrible slippery slope we might find ourselves on if we start restricting who can marry what.

I stand by my slow but inexorable destruction of either political correctness or kittens.

Think of the terrible slippery slope we might find ourselves on if we start restricting who can marry what.

Our first terrible mistake was inventing the concept of marriage in the first place.

That is incredibly hot.

That is incredibly hot.
Well, it goes without saying that I'd pay money to see that.

I do have a question - if they get divorced, who gets the kids?

Now, now, Fass says that we shouldn't be bigots.

No we shouldn't, which sort of puts the rest of your spiteful, but predictable, little post in question.

No we shouldn't, which sort of puts the rest of your spiteful, but predictable, little post in question.
I'm trying to be humorous, which you fail to appreciate.

All I can think of right now is:


WTF?:eek:

No we shouldn't, which sort of puts the rest of your spiteful, but predictable, little post in question.
Just let it slide, Fass. He's just trying to get some attention.


I bet he's jealous because no dolphin ever asked him out :p

I'm trying to be humorous, which you fail to appreciate.

The failure lies in the attempt, not the comment of it.

Now, now, Fass says that we shouldn't be bigots.

After all, a dolphin is a fairly intelligent creature - we shouldn't deny him the right to marry - and we shouldn't deny the woman her right to choose whomever or whatever she wants to mate with.

Think of the terrible slippery slope we might find ourselves on if we start restricting who can marry what.


I'm willing to bet the average dolphin has a higher intellect than the average human. On top of that, they all seem pretty good natured.

I just wonder if the dolphin had a choice in this. And did she require the dolphin to enter a pre-nuptual agreement?

Just let it slide, Fass. He's just trying to get some attention.

What else is new?

I bet he's jealous because no dolphin ever asked him out :p

He claims to do things a lot worse than mock weddings with aquatic mammals. But, then again, he claims so much that is questionable...

The failure lies in the attempt, not the comment of it.
I've noticed that you never find my posts humorous Fass, even when I'm trying.

That said, I usually confine my "mates" to Homo sapiens (although I'm sure that there have been a few neanderthalensis in there).

Dolphin is something that belongs in the ocean, not the bedroom.

Well, it goes without saying that I'd pay money to see that.

I do have a question - if they get divorced, who gets the kids?

I do. Dolphin/Human hybrids are eminently capable of taking over the world. I would like to offer myself as their servant and get in on the ground floor of the new world order.

(found online, when I logged out of hotmail today)

'Lovestruck millionairess Sharon Tendler has finally married the love of her life... a dolphin called Cindy. Ms Tendler - a 41-year-old rock concert producer from London - has been visiting the aquatic dreamboat at his theme park home in the resort of Eilat, Israel, up to three times a year for 15 years. But last week Sharon finally plucked up the courage to ask the 35-year-old dolphin's trainer Maya Zilber for the mammal's fin in marriage. She agreed and in a romantic ceremony they finally became dolphin and wife.

The bride was dressed all in white as she knelt beside the groom waiting in the water. And with a kiss the romantic union was sealed to happy cheers from spectators. After a mackerel reception, a tearful Sharon said: "I made a dream come true and I am not a pervert. "I'm the happiest girl on earth."' .... And then she waved to the crowd, balanced a ball on her nose and the trainer tossed her a sardine

I've noticed that you never find my posts humorous Fass, even when I'm trying.

I don't wonder why that is.

Dolphin is something that belongs in the ocean, not the bedroom.

She didn't fuck it. She mock-married it.

I've noticed that you never find my posts humorous Fass, even when I'm trying.

That said, I usually confine my "mates" to Homo sapiens (although I'm sure that there have been a few neanderthalensis in there).

Dolphin is something that belongs in the ocean, not the bedroom.
Kimchi, I think you're taking this a little too seriously. I frankly doubt the woman wed the dolphin to have intercourse with it. It's probably more of a publicity stun/ excentricity on her part.

Besides, I doubt intercourse between a human and a dolphin is physically possible, anyway.

I do. Dolphin/Human hybrids are eminently capable of taking over the world. I would like to offer myself as their servant and get in on the ground floor of the new world order.
Good thinking, I'll put my name on the list also. Good personnel is very hard to come by, I'm sure our dolphuman masters will remember this and allow us to retain our pathetic lives as long as we make our ourselves useful.

Okie dokie....well....yea....everyone has the right to choose. I'm not here to judge *laughs*

Hmmmm.....so many questions concerning this....so many questions....

She didn't fuck it. She mock-married it.

Don't mock her marriage! And don't say she can't get it on with a dolphin!

While I may personally find the idea repugnant and silly, she cannot be denied her urges, as long as the dolphin isn't forced into it.

Good thinking, I'll put my name on the list also. Good personnel is very hard to come by, I'm sure our dolphuman masters will remember this and allow us to retain our pathetic lives as long as we make our ourselves useful.
Yes, you and Revasser will make millions from the movie rights...

Kimchi, I think you're taking this a little too seriously. I frankly doubt the woman wed the dolphin to have intercourse with it. It's probably more of a publicity stun/ excentricity on her part.

Besides, I doubt intercourse between a human and a dolphin is physically possible, anyway.

It's possible. Dolphins have the right equipment and all that. But I imagine she'd probably end up dead or at least internally maimed if she tried it. 12 inches of cock backed up by a creature that is essentially a cylinder of muscle.

She could give the dolphin handjobs, though. They seem to like that.

Yes, you and Revasser will make millions from the movie rights...
A movie! What a great idea! :D

Evil dolphuman hybrids taking over the world! Revasser and me will be the Renfields assisting them, traitors to the human race... but buying ourselves some measure of non-slavery in the new world to emerge!

I'm sure hollywood will make this the next "King Kong".

It's possible. Dolphins have the right equipment and all that. But I imagine she'd probably end up dead or at least internally maimed if she tried it. 12 inches of cock backed up by a creature that is essentially a cylinder of muscle.

She could give the dolphin handjobs, though. They seem to like that.
:eek:

That was a rhetorical question. Thank you for putting unwanted images in my head.

Now excuse me while I claw my eyeballs out.

:eek:

That was a rhetorical question. Thank you for putting unwanted images in my head.

Now excuse me while I claw my eyeballs out.

No, no. 12 inches is 12 inches, I must remind you.

And now I know what kind of movie you guys need to make...

No, no. 12 inches is 12 inches, I must remind you.

And now I know what kind of movie you guys need to make...

Arrrgh! :headbang:

You guys are evil! Now I can't help imagining some cheap porn flick: a dolphin handyman comes in to repair the cable, and ends up banging the poor woman with his 12-inch tool.

Man. Female-to-dolphin fetish has got to be only a niche thing.

Don't mock her marriage!

She mocked it herself.

And don't say she can't get it on with a dolphin!

She probably can, but it doesn't seem she does. Seeing as it's not even her dolphin.

While I may personally find the idea repugnant and silly, she cannot be denied her urges, as long as the dolphin isn't forced into it.

Please. We force dolphins into becoming "tuna" in cans. Fucking them is hardly worse than eating them, damage wise. Both are wrong, since they are cruel and unconsentful, but I don't get upset at one and not the other.

Arrrgh! :headbang:

You guys are evil! Now I can't help imagining some cheap porn flick: a dolphin handyman comes in to repair the cable, and ends up banging the poor woman with his 12-inch tool.

Man. Female-to-dolphin fetish has got to be only a niche thing.

The sequel could be where the Australian Men's Champion Lifeguard team "rescues" the dolphin...

No, no. 12 inches is 12 inches, I must remind you.

And now I know what kind of movie you guys need to make...

One of the queens of England, back in the day, started a huge scandal by, uh, making it with a horse. Guessing a horse is bigger than 12 inches, but I could be wrong.

I also wonder what the dolphuman babies would look like... *thinks back to Shrek 2* "Look at our mutant babies!"

SNIP....

Dolphin is something that belongs in the ocean, not the bedroom.
Or may I suggest in a sandwich? :D

One of the queens of England, back in the day, started a huge scandal by, uh, making it with a horse. Guessing a horse is bigger than 12 inches, but I could be wrong.

I also wonder what the dolphuman babies would look like... *thinks back to Shrek 2* "Look at our mutant babies!"
OMFG!

*reaches to claw his eyeballs out, remembers they've already been torn away. Claws helplessly at his emtpy orbits instead*

One of the queens of England, back in the day, started a huge scandal by, uh, making it with a horse. Guessing a horse is bigger than 12 inches, but I could be wrong.

I also wonder what the dolphuman babies would look like... *thinks back to Shrek 2* "Look at our mutant babies!"

I'm pretty sure you're talking about Empress Catherine of Russia. And I'm also pretty sure that the rumors of her having sex with a horse were spread as propaganda after her death. Could be wrong though.

Now there was a guy in the Pacific Northwest somewhere who got sodomized to death by a horse...

The sequel could be where the Australian Men's Champion Lifeguard team "rescues" the dolphin...

Just think what you could do with that blow hole....

Just think what you could do with that blow hole....
*claws eyes out*

Just think what you could do with that blow hole....

I think dolphins already do that with other dolphins.

Just think what you could do with that blow hole....


Thats dolphin's way of giving head.

Shoot the Bitch and give me the money so i can spend it on something useful like finding out how much olive oil is needed to Deep fry 1million pairs of socks.

That was a rhetorical question. Thank you for putting unwanted images in my head.

Now excuse me while I claw my eyeballs out.
Dolphins are one of very few species that want to get it on with humans. Dogs seem to like humping on legs and apparently some birds like to rub against their humans.

I guess that happens because of the close proximity pets have with humans and the lack of partners in captivity. I don't think it happens in the wild.

Human idiocy really has no bounds does it?

Human idiocy really has no bounds does it?

No-Once you think a limit has been reached, someone broad-jumps the line in the sand

No-Once you think a limit has been reached, someone broad-jumps the line in the sand

And then there's the people that like licking the line.
Now they are the stupid ones.

9 Nelsons plus 2 what ever should i do?

dolphins are still on earth?? I thought they left because they knew we were going to blow up!

dolphins are still on earth?? I thought they left because they knew we were going to blow up!
This one is being blown alright. That's why he stayed.

And then there's the people that like licking the line.
Now they are the stupid ones.

Are you looking for trouble?

It's not politically correct to criticize her choice of mate.
Fuck PC. If she wishes to waste her life with a dolphin, why is it anybody else's business?