NationStates Jolt Archive

We did this several months ago. I think it was March. Anyone post a law or laws of movie physics.

When an substance explodes, it shall be roughly 3 times larger in magnitude than the Enthalpy of combustion would suggest.

EDIT: ANd you might want to change the title to MOVIE physics thread ;)

When a bullet hits a metal object it always gives off sparks.

Would it be wrong to do this (http://www.intuitor.com/moviephysics/)?

When an substance explodes, it shall be roughly 3 times larger in magnitude than the Enthalpy of combustion would suggest.

EDIT: ANd you might want to change the title to MOVIE physics thread ;)
Um, well, too late.ahhhhhh!

Um, well, too late.ahhhhhh!
You can edit the title by clicking on the edit link by your first post. (Then it'll sound less like a mdoeration request...)

Unknown to most, the human circulatory system consists of a pressurizer and approximately 5,000 gallons of blood. Upon any disruption, such as a severed artery or gunshot wound, blood will shoot out of the wound for several feet.

A hero's gun will automatically regenerate bullets in the magazine until the drama of the situation has reached an appropriate level.

Cellphones work in the basements of huge skyscrapers, and will also work when you're sealed in a metal boxcar that's buried in the ground.

Uniforms taken from bad guys will be made out of unstable molecules that vary their proportions to allow them to fit the good guys with no inconvenience.
It is physically impossible for the hero of an action to not fit through a rapidly closing door or other aperture.

In science fiction movies, the "security" team is there to teach the audience how the monster works.

All explosions can be survived simply by jumping away from them. You must be in midair during the explosion.

All metal attracts bullets. Should a hero be climbing a fire escape, scaffolding, etc., the bullets will hit afforementioned structure, rather than him.

Whenever an areoplane crashes, it ezplodes in an enormous fireball, even if the reason for its crashing was that it had run out of fuel (thank you, Die Hard 2!)

Uniforms taken from bad guys will be made out of unstable molecules that vary their proportions to allow them to fit the good guys with no inconvenience.
It is physically impossible for the hero of an action to not fit through a rapidly closing door or other aperture.
It's funny because ut's true.

Any female, upon her visit to Japan, will instantly grow breasts larger than her head. This process shall be reversed upon her departure from Japan.

Here (http://www.cs.utah.edu/~duongsaa/more_htm/jk_100animeRules.htm) are some rules on anime physics

Sound carries in deep space, as long as it is created by the unique noise of spacecraft engines, weapons, gravity generators, and inertial dampeners.

Any and all bombs must include a timer. This timer will provide barely enough time for the hero to escape any explosion the bomb will cause him/her, rescue the girl, and hurl the bad guy at said explosion.

When the hero will jump off of something, they will always land in some sort of safe spot no matter how high the jump was.

When glass breaks the vast majority of the shards are totally blunt. Should anyone(esp a central character) jump/fall/drive a motorbike through a window the will only recieve small scratches at the worst.

Vehicles that crash and flip over always explode, regardless of the existence of open flame or gas leakage.

For the good guys, it's always "Just a flesh wound"

Police officers, military police, ninjas, etc. aren't actually trained to fight.

One hero can easily bust through wave upon wave of these kinds of characters.

only one badguy will attack the goodguy at a time insuring the goodguy victory, and these badguys are easily thrown aside in about a second each

Regardless of their training, elite troops can only kill generic characters and never hit the heroes.

Oh, and superadvanced metal alloys can easily be crushed by average-sized logs swung from trees by 2 foot tall creatures...thanks, Return of the Jedi!

Sound carries in deep space, as long as it is created by the unique noise of spacecraft engines, weapons, gravity generators, and inertial dampeners.
They could have got around that for the opening of Star Wars: have the scene silent except for the distress calls from the blockade runner, which are drowned out by gales of feedback whenever the Star Destroyer fires its weapons...
That'd work.

Puttung a sail on a spaceship will make it go fast.
Especially if the ship is travelling in between the stars where there is no solar wind to propel it.

Regardless of their training, elite troops can only kill generic characters and never hit the heroes.

Oh, and superadvanced metal alloys can easily be crushed by average-sized logs swung from trees by 2 foot tall creatures...thanks, Return of the Jedi!

When building a super-defensive structure, the MAIN protection for said structure should be an easily assaulted 'shield generator'. Preferably, it should be in a little shed, with only about four guards... hopefully on a little moon somewhere, away from all the defensive guns.... and DEFINITELY, outside of the shield it is intended to create.

In movies you can see a laser in space. This is not the case in real life as you need an atmosphere for the light to scatter some of the light.

Also, constant thrust gives you constant velocity in space. Again, this is not the case because there's pretty much nothing slowing you down in space.

Good Guys are expert marksmen with all kinds of weapons, including alien guns (halo/halo 2) bad guys have the trigger fingers of helen keller on coke. they suck at shooting.
Example: A "Good Guy" in a
drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and
several battalions of "Bad Guys" firing on a "Good Guy" standing alone in the middle
of an open field will always miss.

corrollary: The law of ammunition only applies to bad guys and climactic scenes of good guys.

Spacecraft that never enter an atmosphere have wings for maneuvering.

All of the world's problems can be solved in an hour and a half. Even if the movie adds something along the lines of "...9 years later...," it's really quite negligible.

In 'based upon a true story' movies, almost all th characteristics of the lead roles will suddenly become exactly 7 times more attractive. The exception to the rule is that of more 'evil' characters who have no apparent motive - they become only 3 times more attractive.

Recent work suggests that some sort of enzyme-controlled reaction, sensitive to movie sets, is responsible, but tests are still in the lower order animal stages.

It only ever takes a single hand grenade to blow the crap out of the secret lair/hidden fortress/whatver (thank you James Bond)

Cars can fly limited distances, proportional to the budget of the film

Heroes never require medical treatment, more than a band aid/stiches/sling, as anything more makes them weak. Sidekicks on the other hand require hefty health insurance to cover the costs

and even primitive alien races have the ability to speak perfect english even when they first meet humans , puls heroes in swashbuckling movies can jump down off castle walls ont horse with out the horse feeling any side effects or them even missing the said horse

Large people are always stupid. Often, they seem unable to master the personal pronoun "I" despite often speaking sentences that contain excessive amounts of technical and polysyllabic words.

Also if they are good, they're either Irish or Scottish. If they're evil, they're German or British.

The Law of Fictional Anthropology:

In anything in the fantasy genre, thousands of years pass without any outstanding change in technology. There is no bronze age.

Almost every single Film will, at one point or another, employ an especially rare prop. This prop has unimaginable powers: it can be the single piece of evidence that leads to Hose Ortega's arrest for smuggling billions of dollars worth of that dastardly Coke into the pure USA; it can be the only weapon to destroy the evil tyrant overlord of Fairyland, which will only appear in a Hero's hand when he truly needs it; it can be the gigantic red button, on a panel of smaller generic buttons with an alien language on them, which says "Self-destruct" in English (visible from space, no less).

This rarest of creatures - which isn't all that rare tbh - is simply known as:

Deus Ex Machina

Any movies set in Paris will have the Eiffel Tower in the background.

If even if he catches the good guy with his guard down the bad guy will always take the time to explain his elaborate plan instead of just killing the good guy, allowing the good guy ample time to kill the bad guy.

If the bad guy or his generic goons are hit by any bullet their bodies will react as though the bullet had the stopping power of a main cannon on a tank.

All good guys have a 90% dodge rate of all projectiles. In the off chance they are hit, it is only a flesh wound or for the purposes of plot furthering. War movies are an exception, everyone gets shot at least once and half the good guys die.

Anything moving faster than 20 miles an hour can and will explode upon impact with anything remotely solid.

Cinematic Law of Rectal-linear Motion:

When running from the bad guys, the female lead's ass will jiggle in such a manner that the evil assailants cannot concentrate their fire effectively, resulting in massive damage to shop windows, potted plants, car windshields, aquariums, the soundguy who that it would be funny to put a squib down his pants but didn't realize they aren't completely harmless, but in the end, doing no damage to the female lead's ass.

Only traditionally good looking people fall in love with each other.

Traditionally non-good looking people are always hilarious.

All homosexuals are flaming males or butch females.

The black guy always dies.

No matter from how high someone falls, catching them will result in no damage being done to the catcher or the catchee.

Thin plywood will stop bullets as long as the hero hides behind it.

Bad guys break their necks when you hang them. Good guys strangle for a bit, then the rope breaks.

Cars are able to leap gaps without using a ramp.

Men's shirts tear more easily/more completely than women's, even though they are invariably made of more rugged material.

No matter how hard a bad guy wails on a good guy, the good guy can always regroup to kick the bad guy's ass.

Artificial gravity always exists, but is never mentioned.

Sound carries in deep space, as long as it is created by the unique noise of spacecraft engines, weapons, gravity generators, and inertial dampeners.
Along with that is the fact that if a spaceship wants to stop, they simply have to turn the engines off.

Someone being hit by a bullet will fly back several feet. For some reason this won't happen to the person firing the bullet. Thus, Newton's law of equal and opposite action/reaction doesn't work for movie guns.


Not a movie physics thing, but in movies waitresses always live in NY apartments that cost the equivalent of a small country's GDP to rent in real life.

A car (any car) can outrun a jet plane taking off, allowing the good guy to catch up to it and leap aboard.

Men's shirts tear more easily/more completely than women's, even though they are invariably made of more rugged material.
To add on, a woman's shirt will never tear in that area you want it too.

Sci-Fi personel armour is always easily broken through by enemies (Matrix 2).

People being hung over a pool of sharks never fall in.

Not a movie physics thing, but in movies waitresses always live in NY apartments that cost the equivalent of a small country's GDP to rent in real life.

Their rent is subsidized by the same agency that funds Italian sports cars for 24 year old police detectives.

No one ever has to take a shit.

However, if someone does go to the bathroom, there's always a damn good reason to that has little to nothing to do with toilet functions.

All hand grenades have thermobaric charges.

It only takes 8-15 seconds to strangle someone to death.

The evil bad mastermind always must die ironically, usually by the weapon that he made to destroy the world.

The underdog always wins, not because of his skills, or experiences, or how he handled the weapons. No, he won because he believed in himself just enough to make it!

All Disney film will be too cute for anyone who isn't a kid to stomach, and all of them teaches that we should all be friends blah blah blah.

Love conquers all.

Millionaires are more likely to pick up a crack whore, a maid, or anyone who isn't filthy stinking rich, than someone who is.

The good guys always have the right punch line and they always say them at the right time.

It only takes 8-15 seconds to strangle someone to death.
Dare I ask why you know it takes longer than that to strangle someone to death?


On a similar note, it's dead easy to break a man's neck: Get him in a sleeper hold and twist his head to one side once.
(before anyone asks how I know this won't work, my Dad broke his neck and his surgeon told him it's physically impossible to do it that way)

No one ever has to take a shit.

However, if someone does go to the bathroom, there's always a damn good reason to that has little to nothing to do with toilet functions.


This is one that has actually annoyed me for forever...

How can you suspend THAT MUCH disbelief....

Thank God for "One Hour Photo", "Panic Room", and "Fools Rush In"...

Dare I ask why you know it takes longer than that to strangle someone to death?

15 seconds should be enough to cause a blackout, add another 3 to 4 minutes to actually kill someone if strangling.

Back to topic:

Lasers are always visible, except when used as targetting device on guns.

Electrical devices are inherently unstable and either explode because somewhere else something is hit or at the slightest hint of damage to the device itself. If a good guy is standing next to the exploding device they get thrown about a bit, if bad guys are standing next to the device they get either electrocuted, shrapnel or fried.

Powerlines when hitting the ground stay dangerous over their entire length despite the fact that the entire line is being grounded and most likely caused a circuit breaker to trip at the nearest power (switching) station (note that if the line is insulated the only place it is dangerous is at the exposed ends).

the pet of the hero will display sentient behaviour.

people have wonderous regenerative abilities: after a brawl nobody will have bumps, cuts or haematoma, even if they got hit right in the face and had no ice or salves to reduce the swelling.

and when wearing white clothing espcially females it makes them seem unable to go anywhere with out at least falling in the water at least once in the film

and when wearing white clothing espcially females it makes them seem unable to go anywhere with out at least falling in the water at least once in the film

wish this one was a general law and not a movie one...

To add on, a woman's shirt will never tear in that area you want it too.

And who can forget the infamous L-shaped sheets that movie couples have.

Dare I ask why you know it takes longer than that to strangle someone to death?


Well, strangling someone to death I take to mean "depriving them of air until they die."

I can easily hold my breath for 30 seconds and experience almost no discomfort. It would thus have to take significantly more air-deprivation than that to actially kill someone, right?

Crosses Bleed: I learned that from passion of the Christ

In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

This is a law of anime but it also seems to apply to regular movies too.

The evil bad mastermind always must die ironically, usually by the weapon that he made to destroy the world.
That's why, if I ever become an evil mastermind I intend to have as my secret world-destroying weapon a bevy of hot naked chicks.
With huge breasts.

That's why, if I ever become an evil mastermind I intend to have as my secret world-destroying weapon a bevy of hot naked chicks.
With huge breasts.

But see, the one that ends up killing you will turn out to have a penis. Sorry dude, you can't outrun irony.

Well, strangling someone to death I take to mean "depriving them of air until they die."

I can easily hold my breath for 30 seconds and experience almost no discomfort. It would thus have to take significantly more air-deprivation than that to actially kill someone, right?

Correct but if you strangle someone correctly you cut of the bloodflow to and from the brain and that speeds up the process.

Back to topic:

Window glass is skin repellant (hence everyone and their dog can jump through glass windows without suffering major cuts).
A car that is intentionally allowed to jump of or over something will suffer no consequences when crashing/landing into the next solid surface. Unless it's a nameless or dramatic tension requires something BAD to happen to the good guys. Then the car will behave like wet paper (stuffed with 100 gallons of fuel in case of the nameless ).

Correct but if you strangle someone correctly you cut of the bloodflow to and from the brain and that speeds up the process.

Oh, okay.