NationStates Jolt Archive


The Anti-Depression Thread

Eruantalon
03-01-2006, 00:37
It is of concern to me that there seem to be a few depressed people on NS, and I think we should all get together to help each other out. Without further ado, I officially announce the sorrow-busting Anti-Depression Thread!

I'll start:

One common trait I notice among depressed people I have encountered in my life is that they don't eat well. They tend to eat too many sweets, chocolate, white bread, fast food - too many processed sugars basically. Now, despite giving momentary pleasure in the eating, these rob you of nutrients and happiness. Such people also tend to eat irregularly, and eat many snacks.

Eating shit food makes you depressed. It's a fact. So stop eating fast food, sweets and stop drinking coffee. Get some good old potatoes (which are an anti-depressant), vegetables, and meat. If you eat chocolate only eat dark organic chocolate. You'll find that in health food shops. There's a really good value one in the George's St Arcade and on Grafton St as well (for those of you who live in Dublin).

Really, getting eating well is one of the easiest and most important ways to help yourself. Things will dramatically improve!
The Plutonian Empire
03-01-2006, 00:40
potatoes are anti-depressants?! :eek:

aww, man! I HATE potatoes! :(
Gaithersburg
03-01-2006, 00:42
Wait, couldn't it be the other way around?
Couldn't it be that the reason people are eating these sugary foods is that they are depressed in the first place?
Fass
03-01-2006, 00:42
Just up your meds. Works for me!

This is of course a mild mannered joke. All dose adjustments should be discussed with your physician. Do not play around with your meds, OK? That would make me a sad panda.
Ginnoria
03-01-2006, 00:44
Crank works better than threads.
Colerica
03-01-2006, 00:44
I'm not depressed so much as I am indifferent right now. I've just effectively lost the only relationship that I thought had worth-while prospects with one of the greatest girls I've ever known. To her old boyfriend. Who hates her. She can't get over him so it's not time for us. She doesn't know if they'll ever be a time for us.

And I'm left out here in the snow bank to recall the few fond memories I have of our very brief time together.
Lunatic Goofballs
03-01-2006, 00:44
Just up your meds. Works for me!

YAY!

Better living through chmistry! :D
Sarkhaan
03-01-2006, 00:49
go get laid.


failing that, go out for a walk. Don't just sit around, but go do something.
Fass
03-01-2006, 00:49
YAY!

Better living through chmistry! :D

Beats making an effort.
Droskianishk
03-01-2006, 00:49
How about all the depressed people post on here, then we kill them all.

" Killing solves everything, no man no problem"- Josef Stalin
Eruantalon
03-01-2006, 00:53
Wait, couldn't it be the other way around?
Couldn't it be that the reason people are eating these sugary foods is that they are depressed in the first place?
Yes. It's a vicious circle like that.

I'm not depressed so much as I am indifferent right now. I've just effectively lost the only relationship that I thought had worth-while prospects with one of the greatest girls I've ever known. To her old boyfriend. Who hates her. She can't get over him so it's not time for us. She doesn't know if they'll ever be a time for us.

And I'm left out here in the snow bank to recall the few fond memories I have of our very brief time together.
I'm sorry to hear about that, it's tough I know. But it's normal to be deeply hurt after the collapse of a relationship. Almost everyone goes through it and comes out safe on the other side.

Just up your meds. Works for me!
Drugs are not the way. They fill your body with harmful chemicals and their effect is only temporary and transient. Plus, they're damn expensive.


Sarkhaan I agree with you. Exercise is also important.
Lunatic Goofballs
03-01-2006, 00:54
Beats making an effort.

I don't get depressed. For much the same reason that I don't get bored. If I'm idle for too long, I start making a fool out of myself and/or others. :)
Sarkhaan
03-01-2006, 00:56
I don't get depressed. For much the same reason that I don't get bored. If I'm idle for too long, I start making a fool out of myself and/or others. :)
"if you're bored then you're boring"

see? the 90's really did have an answer for everything. Kinda like family guy. Only not.
Fass
03-01-2006, 00:58
Drugs are not the way. They fill your body with harmful chemicals and their effect is only temporary and transient. Plus, they're damn expensive.

Bullshit. Drugs have revolutionised treatment of affective disorders like depression and have saved many, many lives. "Harmful chemicals." Pfft!
Briantonnia
03-01-2006, 00:59
It is of concern to me that there seem to be a few depressed people on NS, and I think we should all get together to help each other out. Without further ado, I officially announce the sorrow-busting Anti-Depression Thread!

I'll start:

One common trait I notice among depressed people I have encountered in my life is that they don't eat well. They tend to eat too many sweets, chocolate, white bread, fast food - too many processed sugars basically. Now, despite giving momentary pleasure in the eating, these rob you of nutrients and happiness. Such people also tend to eat irregularly, and eat many snacks.

Eating shit food makes you depressed. It's a fact. So stop eating fast food, sweets and stop drinking coffee. Get some good old potatoes (which are an anti-depressant), vegetables, and meat. If you eat chocolate only eat dark organic chocolate. You'll find that in health food shops. There's a really good value one in the George's St Arcade and on Grafton St as well (for those of you who live in Dublin).
Really, getting eating well is one of the easiest and most important ways to help yourself. Things will dramatically improve!


Good value... on Grafton St?!! when the hell did this happen? How long was I asleep?
Colerica
03-01-2006, 00:59
I'm sorry to hear about that, it's tough I know. But it's normal to be deeply hurt after the collapse of a relationship. Almost everyone goes through it and comes out safe on the other side.


Meh. Collapse? She won't let it get off the ground. But...thanks anyways. It's nice (and a bit strange) that I can get statements like this from complete strangers half way around the world. :D
Pure Metal
03-01-2006, 01:03
Wait, couldn't it be the other way around?
Couldn't it be that the reason people are eating these sugary foods is that they are depressed in the first place?
amen. i know my diet was worst when i really went through a bad spell.

since i've improved my diet and moved house, switched occupations, but depression is still there under the surface, and it breaks through every now and then. i still have like no self confidence and hate myself. and i just had an evening of evil arguements with my family and that last sentiment rings almost truer tonight than it has.... in a very long time at least.
wish i had some weed or booze right now :(
or amy. once upon a time the thought of 'upsetting' my parents by killing myself stopped me from doing it for about 2 years (bar one effort). tonight that torch has been passed to her (something of a big eek i'm sure)
Fetus Murder
03-01-2006, 01:05
Happiness is playing Bingo. That's all you ever need to know. Or if you're like Tom Cruise, it doesn't exist. And neither does the sky, because he knows better than us.
Eruantalon
03-01-2006, 01:08
Good value... on Grafton St?!! when the hell did this happen? How long was I asleep?
It's true, I fucking swear it!

Meh. Collapse? She won't let it get off the ground. But...thanks anyways. It's nice (and a bit strange) that I can get statements like this from complete strangers half way around the world.
It's one of those things that unites we humans.
Super-power
03-01-2006, 01:08
You know what happens when a depressant and an anti-depressant collide right?
Anihilation occurs :p
Sarkhaan
03-01-2006, 01:10
amen. i know my diet was worst when i really went through a bad spell.

since i've improved my diet and moved house, switched occupations, but depression is still there under the surface, and it breaks through every now and then. i still have like no self confidence and hate myself. and i just had an evening of evil arguements with my family and that last sentiment rings almost truer tonight than it has.... in a very long time at least.
wish i had some weed or booze right now :(
or amy. once upon a time the thought of 'upsetting' my parents by killing myself stopped me from doing it for about 2 years (bar one effort). tonight that torch has been passed to her (something of a big eek i'm sure)

aww...don't hate yourself. we still love ya:fluffle: :fluffle:
why not on MSN? Hit me up if ya need.
The Plutonian Empire
03-01-2006, 01:14
amen. i know my diet was worst when i really went through a bad spell.

since i've improved my diet and moved house, switched occupations, but depression is still there under the surface, and it breaks through every now and then. i still have like no self confidence and hate myself. and i just had an evening of evil arguements with my family and that last sentiment rings almost truer tonight than it has.... in a very long time at least.
wish i had some weed or booze right now :(
or amy. once upon a time the thought of 'upsetting' my parents by killing myself stopped me from doing it for about 2 years (bar one effort). tonight that torch has been passed to her (something of a big eek i'm sure)
Lucky you. I don't have a lady. :(
Straughn
03-01-2006, 01:31
I don't get depressed. For much the same reason that I don't get bored. If I'm idle for too long, I start making a fool out of myself and/or others. :)
I would venture to say you're one of the few individuals who truly recognize the play potential (energy) of anyone within contact, and thusly exploit it.
Kudos. *bows*
Probably the kind of individual who is the first to WANT to play with a little bouncy ball at the center of a table of college students BUT at the SAME TIME knows that it's more amusing to count the seconds before someone else HAS to pick it up and bounce it .... for future reference.
[NS]Simonist
03-01-2006, 01:31
Funny story....as I'm reading through this first post, I'm munching on some chocolate, having just finished a sammich on white bread, and making plans to go out to the cafe with my friends tonight, all while having waited three days since I've tried to refill my meds (my pharmacy is, arguably, the most retarded in the nation....). But then I remembered that I AM eating organic dark, and it was a heavily loaded veggie sammich along with some clam chowder, and my doctor has celebrated the fact that coffee doesn't really negatively effect me. Close call.

Seriously, though.....it all comes back to overall health and wellness. Do folks snack because they're depressed or are they depressed because they snack? No, they're depressed because for some reason their brain is convinced that something is very wrong, and they turn to food for comfort. I've tried the idea of cutting out "depression"-inducing foods from my diet, and in those two weeks I didn't notice any change whatsoever between my mood swings and what I'm like normally.

Of course, I'm not clinically depressed so much as bipolar, so it may not work so heavily on me. However, overall I believe that the food makes little difference in practical application. Plus, it's a well-supported idea that eating many small snacks throughout the day, rather than three large meals, actually boosts your metabolism and keeps you thinner, so I wouldn't necessarily advise people against that one.
Briantonnia
03-01-2006, 01:35
It's true, I fucking swear it!


It's one of those things that unites we humans.


Lies! Its all lies! *sobs incoherently* Why would you play with my fragile mind this way? Why?! :D
Briantonnia
03-01-2006, 01:39
Simonist']Funny story....as I'm reading through this first post, I'm munching on some chocolate, having just finished a sammich on white bread, and making plans to go out to the cafe with my friends tonight, all while having waited three days since I've tried to refill my meds (my pharmacy is, arguably, the most retarded in the nation....). But then I remembered that I AM eating organic dark, and it was a heavily loaded veggie sammich along with some clam chowder, and my doctor has celebrated the fact that coffee doesn't really negatively effect me. Close call.

Seriously, though.....it all comes back to overall health and wellness. Do folks snack because they're depressed or are they depressed because they snack? No, they're depressed because for some reason their brain is convinced that something is very wrong, and they turn to food for comfort. I've tried the idea of cutting out "depression"-inducing foods from my diet, and in those two weeks I didn't notice any change whatsoever between my mood swings and what I'm like normally.

Of course, I'm not clinically depressed so much as bipolar, so it may not work so heavily on me. However, overall I believe that the food makes little difference in practical application. Plus, it's a well-supported idea that eating many small snacks throughout the day, rather than three large meals, actually boosts your metabolism and keeps you thinner, so I wouldn't necessarily advise people against that one.


Hmmmm. *pats beer gut and muches another handful of salted peanuts* I must have missed the memo on that one.
[NS]Simonist
03-01-2006, 01:49
Hmmmm. *pats beer gut and muches another handful of salted peanuts* I must have missed the memo on that one.
I said small snacks, Briantonnia, SMALL snacks. And they probably still have to be HEALTHY. Those salted peanuts......that's where you probably went wrong.
German Nightmare
03-01-2006, 01:50
I've been getting treated for post-traumatic stress disorder in the last half year without any medication and I can say that my depression has really declined in the last couple of months. That's the good news.

The bad news is that while I'm no so much depressed right now, I seriously need a boost to my self-esteem. I am so not self-confident it sucks bad.

And I need to start on some other improvements (like diet, housing, university commitment). Then again, I don't really feel like I have the strength to do much and that pulls me down again, at which point I could really enjoy some bad fast food...

Did I state I really hate vicious circles? Well, I do.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to making 2006 my year! Boy, am I glad that I survived 2005 mostly intact (don't really need those brain cells that didn't make it) and I got my hopes up that things will eventually improve.

*note to myself: stop questioning yourself and your abilities, dammit!*
Lazy Otakus
03-01-2006, 01:51
So stop eating fast food, sweets and stop drinking coffee.

And you call this the anti-depression thread? :eek:
Sarkhaan
03-01-2006, 01:58
I've been getting treated for post-traumatic stress disorder in the last half year without any medication and I can say that my depression has really declined in the last couple of months. That's the good news.

The bad news is that while I'm no so much depressed right now, I seriously need a boost to my self-esteem. I am so not self-confident it sucks bad.

And I need to start on some other improvements (like diet, housing, university commitment). Then again, I don't really feel like I have the strength to do much and that pulls me down again, at which point I could really enjoy some bad fast food...

Did I state I really hate vicious circles? Well, I do.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to making 2006 my year! Boy, am I glad that I survived 2005 mostly intact (don't really need those brain cells that didn't make it) and I got my hopes up that things will eventually improve.

*note to myself: stop questioning yourself and your abilities, dammit!*
if you want self confidence, a good way to get it is to act like you have it. That is how I did it, and people respond to it. Some people will compliment it, and that will boost you. It slowly becomes habit.

and those brain cells that died were just making room for the stronger ones.
Briantonnia
03-01-2006, 01:59
Simonist']I said small snacks, Briantonnia, SMALL snacks. And they probably still have to be HEALTHY. Those salted peanuts......that's where you probably went wrong.


Ohh, small snacks. Got it *munch;) * plus, peanuts are healthy, full of proteins and carbohydrates that give you energy and a decent boost during the day. Plus, they're more addictive than crack. (Ever seen anyone eat just one peanut?)
Sarkhaan
03-01-2006, 02:00
(Ever seen anyone eat just one peanut?)
but they're so smaaaaaaaaaaaaall!

have them with milk. makes it a complete protien
Briantonnia
03-01-2006, 02:03
but they're so smaaaaaaaaaaaaall!

have them with milk. makes it a complete protien


Or beer, then you can't be depressed! Weyhay! (Note, I'm joking. Beer and peanuts don't cure depression...)
Sarkhaan
03-01-2006, 02:06
(Note, I'm joking. Beer and peanuts don't cure depression...)
No, sadly, beer and peanuts don't cure depression.

Whiskey and pizza on the other hand...
German Nightmare
03-01-2006, 02:10
if you want self confidence, a good way to get it is to act like you have it. That is how I did it, and people respond to it. Some people will compliment it, and that will boost you. It slowly becomes habit.

and those brain cells that died were just making room for the stronger ones.
There's been times I didn't think I would see the end of 2005 and now, looking back, I'm really glad I did.

I know it's all about positive thinking and such, so yeah, that door is open - I just have to place one foot in front of the other and move forward.

The only obstacle on that path right now is that I sometimes don't have enough patience and then get frustrated fairly easily. "Patience, young Padawan" ;)
4 years of negative thinking have left their patterns and I sometimes don't even realize I'm using those. And when I do, I get angry with myself for being so stupid again - instead of being happy that I realized it and then change them. Gah!

The next thing would be a relationship with a nice, understanding, supportive girl. As long as I didn't even get along with myself that was absolutely impossible. Besides, I didn't go out much and therefore couldn't really meet anyone... It really was "Fear of the Dark" for me for real.

Now I'm conquering those fears day by day. And man, it's sometimes tough!

(I will go to bed now 'cause I've read that regular sleep is also important for good mood - talk to you folks later!)
Dragons with Guns
03-01-2006, 02:11
According to this man on the television, all I need to do is eat seaweed...
Briantonnia
03-01-2006, 02:12
No, sadly, beer and peanuts don't cure depression.

Whiskey and pizza on the other hand...


This could be the start of any interesting debate, what lifts you when your depressed? But the hell with that, I want some whiskey and pizza now :D
Sarkhaan
03-01-2006, 02:12
There's been times I didn't think I would see the end of 2005 and now, looking back, I'm really glad I did.

I know it's all about positive thinking and such, so yeah, that door is open - I just have to place one foot in front of the other and move forward.

The only obstacle on that path right now is that I sometimes don't have enough patience and then get frustrated fairly easily. "Patience, young Padawan" ;)
4 years of negative thinking have left their patterns and I sometimes don't even realize I'm using those. And when I do, I get angry with myself for being so stupid again - instead of being happy that I realized it and then change them. Gah!

The next thing would be a relationship with a nice, understanding, supportive girl. As long as I didn't even get along with myself that was absolutely impossible. Besides, I didn't go out much and therefore couldn't really meet anyone... It really was "Fear of the Dark" for me for real.

Now I'm conquering those fears day by day. And man, it's sometimes tough!

(I will go to bed now 'cause I've read that regular sleep is also important for good mood - talk to you folks later!)
glad you made it *raises glass* heres to another year, eh?

changing yourself is a bitch, but damn is it worth it. I constantly change what I don't like. I've been working on one thing for 4 years now, and it really is making a good change.
Gataway_Driver
03-01-2006, 02:13
co-codemol with some valium you won't be depressed after that
Briantonnia
03-01-2006, 02:17
There's been times I didn't think I would see the end of 2005 and now, looking back, I'm really glad I did.

I know it's all about positive thinking and such, so yeah, that door is open - I just have to place one foot in front of the other and move forward.

The only obstacle on that path right now is that I sometimes don't have enough patience and then get frustrated fairly easily. "Patience, young Padawan" ;)
4 years of negative thinking have left their patterns and I sometimes don't even realize I'm using those. And when I do, I get angry with myself for being so stupid again - instead of being happy that I realized it and then change them. Gah!

The next thing would be a relationship with a nice, understanding, supportive girl. As long as I didn't even get along with myself that was absolutely impossible. Besides, I didn't go out much and therefore couldn't really meet anyone... It really was "Fear of the Dark" for me for real.

Now I'm conquering those fears day by day. And man, it's sometimes tough!

(I will go to bed now 'cause I've read that regular sleep is also important for good mood - talk to you folks later!)

Been to that dark place too many times myself... ain't nice to have the Abyss stare back at you. And sleep deprivation is cool:cool: You get all giddy and everything seems funny. Right up until you pass out from exhaustion
Maineiacs
03-01-2006, 02:18
Just up your meds. Works for me!

This is of course a mild mannered joke. All dose adjustments should be discussed with your physician. Do not play around with your meds, OK? That would make me a sad panda.


I'm already on the maximum dose.
German Nightmare
03-01-2006, 02:20
glad you made it *raises glass* heres to another year, eh?
Hear hear!
http://www.studip.uni-goettingen.de/pictures/smile/sekt.gif
changing yourself is a bitch, but damn is it worth it. I constantly change what I don't like. I've been working on one thing for 4 years now, and it really is making a good change.
Man, it is! And it really takes much time to eventually see the change for yourself while others might have already noticed...
But it takes forever and I get really easily frustrated. Just glad that I'm in good control of my short-temper now - things could've easily gone wrong before the treatment for the inane reasons.

I just wish sometimes that people would be more understanding and caring and acceptive and ever once in a while tell you that they like you...

(Off to bed for good now! ;) Sleep deprivation is not my game - tried it, made me insanely aggressive...)
Whereyouthinkyougoing
03-01-2006, 02:28
...and ever once in a while tell you that they like you...
Aww, we like you! Not that we know you or anything, but hey, can't hurt to type it, can it now? ;)
Fass
03-01-2006, 02:38
I'm already on the maximum dose.

A change of substance might be in order if it's not helping.
Maineiacs
03-01-2006, 03:09
Well, to be fair, it helps a little in that I'm not actually suicidal right now. It didn't make the depression stop, it just sort of "took the edge" off it. I've been on other drugs, none of them seem to be any better.
Anti-Social Darwinism
03-01-2006, 03:12
No chocolate! Now that is depressing. Actually, my depression is situational. All I have to do is retire, and with my ample retirement income, my house will be foreclosed and I can move into that box under the bridge that I've had my eye on. Or I can stay in my job and, eventually kill either my boss or myself. Or I can try to find another job and see what the market for overweight 60-year-old administrative assistants is like.
The Cat-Tribe
03-01-2006, 03:29
It is of concern to me that there seem to be a few depressed people on NS, and I think we should all get together to help each other out. Without further ado, I officially announce the sorrow-busting Anti-Depression Thread!

I'll start:

One common trait I notice among depressed people I have encountered in my life is that they don't eat well. They tend to eat too many sweets, chocolate, white bread, fast food - too many processed sugars basically. Now, despite giving momentary pleasure in the eating, these rob you of nutrients and happiness. Such people also tend to eat irregularly, and eat many snacks.

Eating shit food makes you depressed. It's a fact. So stop eating fast food, sweets and stop drinking coffee. Get some good old potatoes (which are an anti-depressant), vegetables, and meat. If you eat chocolate only eat dark organic chocolate. You'll find that in health food shops. There's a really good value one in the George's St Arcade and on Grafton St as well (for those of you who live in Dublin).

Really, getting eating well is one of the easiest and most important ways to help yourself. Things will dramatically improve!

Um. You can't cure clinical depression by simply eating potatoes and organic chocolate.

I'm afraid some of us have a rather more serious condition than that.
The Cat-Tribe
03-01-2006, 03:35
Drugs are not the way. They fill your body with harmful chemicals and their effect is only temporary and transient. Plus, they're damn expensive.

Bloody luddite! How dare you give such bad advice??!!!

**wanderes off too pissed for words**
The Cat-Tribe
03-01-2006, 03:48
I'm already on the maximum dose.

Sometimes you have to try more than one medication. Different meds and different combinations help different people.
Peechland
03-01-2006, 03:50
Sometimes you have to try more than one medication. Different meds and different combinations help different people.

nothing like a Lithium/Xanax/Remeron cocktail
The Cat-Tribe
03-01-2006, 03:57
nothing like a Lithium/Xanax/Remeron cocktail

Exactically! been there, done that.

I'm currently on about 11 different medications.
Peechland
03-01-2006, 04:00
Exactically! been there, done that.

I'm currently on about 11 different medications.

you cant tell....they must be working. or not working.;)
Maineiacs
03-01-2006, 05:54
Sometimes you have to try more than one medication. Different meds and different combinations help different people.


I have tried other drugs.
Kanabia
03-01-2006, 05:58
Eating shit food makes you depressed. It's a fact. So stop eating fast food, sweets and stop drinking coffee.

Nah, that's crap. Self indulgence is fun! A strict wholemeal bread, water, lentils, and lean beef diet would make me cry. :p
Sarkhaan
03-01-2006, 06:05
Um. You can't cure clinical depression by simply eating potatoes and organic chocolate.

I'm afraid some of us have a rather more serious condition than that.
very true that you can't cure it...and in some (okay, many) cases of clinical depression, nothing will really help to bring you out of it. However, it can't hurt to try, right?

There are some natural things that can help, such as exercise (as it releases endorphens) and not brewing in it. Not to say those will ever replace medications that people need...they just might help with it.
Wallonochia
03-01-2006, 07:35
stop drinking coffee

I was with you up until that point. The day I stop drinking coffee is the day I die.
M3rcenaries
03-01-2006, 08:34
Im only depressed now because winter break is almost over, and I mysteriously managed to piss a girl off so much (literaly overnight) that she now refuses to talk to me. No clue what I did. Honest
Lunatic Goofballs
03-01-2006, 08:36
"Get High on Sports, not drugs. But if there are no sports in your area, fuck it. Get high on drugs." -George Carlin.
Cabra West
03-01-2006, 08:51
I don't drink coffee, I eat healthy and there's no way in hell I'm giving up chocolate. And I won't start eating dark chocolate either, as it makes me sick.

I seriously don't think that diet causes fits of depression. It can provide you with the energy to see it through, but that's about it.

The way I see it, there's as many ways out of depression as there are depressed people. But having somebody who listens and is there when needed helps immensly.
German Nightmare
03-01-2006, 15:55
Aww, we like you! Not that we know you or anything, but hey, can't hurt to type it, can it now? ;)
Thanks! It sure doesn't hurt to see it written out, either.http://www.studip.uni-goettingen.de/pictures/smile/umarm2.gif
Maineiacs
03-01-2006, 16:04
I don't drink coffee, I eat healthy and there's no way in hell I'm giving up chocolate. And I won't start eating dark chocolate either, as it makes me sick.

I seriously don't think that diet causes fits of depression. It can provide you with the energy to see it through, but that's about it.

The way I see it, there's as many ways out of depression as there are depressed people. But having somebody who listens and is there when needed helps immensly.


In my case, I sort of have to just ride it out. You know, feel this way until I don't feel this way anymore.
Cabra West
03-01-2006, 16:06
In my case, I sort of have to just ride it out. You know, feel this way until I don't feel this way anymore.

That doesn't do it for me. At all. I'll only sink deeper and deeper.
I have to pull myself out each and every time. The difficult part is to find the energy to do this... to find the will, even. It's so much easier to just let yourself sink
Maineiacs
03-01-2006, 16:07
I'd do that, if I could. Never seem to be able to pull it off.
Briantonnia
03-01-2006, 16:17
That doesn't do it for me. At all. I'll only sink deeper and deeper.
I have to pull myself out each and every time. The difficult part is to find the energy to do this... to find the will, even. It's so much easier to just let yourself sink


I prefer floating, or drifting from one fit of depression to the next. Then I get drunk. REALLY drunk, and forget all about it.
Pure Metal
03-01-2006, 16:21
just stay depressed. its easier.
then the times when you're 'not depressed' are like little islands of joy and you can look forward to them
Briantonnia
03-01-2006, 16:27
just stay depressed. its easier.
then the times when you're 'not depressed' are like little islands of joy and you can look forward to them

I call those hangovers and they're not exacr;y islands of joy, but whatever gets you through it ;)
San haiti
03-01-2006, 16:32
It is of concern to me that there seem to be a few depressed people on NS, and I think we should all get together to help each other out. Without further ado, I officially announce the sorrow-busting Anti-Depression Thread!

I'll start:

One common trait I notice among depressed people I have encountered in my life is that they don't eat well. They tend to eat too many sweets, chocolate, white bread, fast food - too many processed sugars basically. Now, despite giving momentary pleasure in the eating, these rob you of nutrients and happiness. Such people also tend to eat irregularly, and eat many snacks.

Eating shit food makes you depressed. It's a fact. So stop eating fast food, sweets and stop drinking coffee. Get some good old potatoes (which are an anti-depressant), vegetables, and meat. If you eat chocolate only eat dark organic chocolate. You'll find that in health food shops. There's a really good value one in the George's St Arcade and on Grafton St as well (for those of you who live in Dublin).

Really, getting eating well is one of the easiest and most important ways to help yourself. Things will dramatically improve!

Not wanting to rain on your parade too much but thats not very useful advice. In an attempt to feel better about 3 months ago i did all that. Started going to the gym 3 times a week, ate realyl healthily and lost quite a bit of weight. I do have more energy now but i still dont feel like doing much with it. Still as depressed as ever....
Pure Metal
03-01-2006, 16:36
I call those hangovers and they're not exacr;y islands of joy, but whatever gets you through it ;)
lol well you are irish ;) :D


but on a serious note, it does depend on the type of depression you have... manic, bipolar, major, dysthimia.... different things will work for different people and for different degrees/types of depression.
Mild Mannered Chaps
03-01-2006, 16:47
lol well you are irish ;) :D


but on a serious note, it does depend on the type of depression you have... manic, bipolar, major, dysthimia.... different things will work for different people and for different degrees/types of depression.


True, on both counts ...;)
Delsa
03-01-2006, 16:52
Coffee and cigarettes. Just ask Jarmusch.

Seinfeld and red wine also do it for me. And the company of good friends, if you happen to have any. They can get pretty annoying after a while though. Especially when they start using logic on you when you're trying to heckle Gone With The Wind with a hangover. I may be revealing a little bit too much about my life here, actually. I also do useful things. Honest.
Eutrusca
03-01-2006, 17:16
eating well is one of the easiest and most important ways to help yourself. Things will dramatically improve!
This is true. I would add regular strenuous exercise. The few times in my life I have been truly depressed, I was always able to force myself to exercise and always shed the depression after just a few weeks. Thirty minutes a day, every other day is adequate.
Laerod
03-01-2006, 17:37
Something that helps me is a little postcard I carry around with me in my backpack that I think of whenever I feel weak again. It reads: "NO / DON'T GIVE UP"
Glitziness
03-01-2006, 18:03
Things like changing your diet and exercising can help, but they won't always, and they won't solve other problems in your life. A healthy diet and regular exercise are always advisable.

amen. i know my diet was worst when i really went through a bad spell.

since i've improved my diet and moved house, switched occupations, but depression is still there under the surface, and it breaks through every now and then. i still have like no self confidence and hate myself. and i just had an evening of evil arguements with my family and that last sentiment rings almost truer tonight than it has.... in a very long time at least.
wish i had some weed or booze right now :(
or amy. once upon a time the thought of 'upsetting' my parents by killing myself stopped me from doing it for about 2 years (bar one effort). tonight that torch has been passed to her (something of a big eek i'm sure)
you know I'm more than happy to :fluffle: you know I'd spend every second of my days doing what I could to keep you happy if I could. I wish I could.

Hopefully I helped with your confidence slightly last night, and I plan to in my email tonight as well. You've said you respect my opinion, and my opinion of you is very high, formed over more than a year of knowing you, and a few months of a fairly intense (be it online) relationship. And, while you won't believe this because of the bucketload of compliments I give you (heh), I'm actually a really critical judge of character. You have bad traits which come out sometimes, every does. But your inherent character, and the sides of you which shine through so clearly to me, are amazing and I truly believe you're a wonderful person with a loving heart and so much potential in life, who deserves happiness.

I love you, and that won't be changing any time soon *hugs*
did you get my text? i got one from you but the phone won't download it...grrr
Delsa
03-01-2006, 20:20
Hmm. I survived an internet relationship. Didn't work out too well for me; possibly one of the reasons for my depressive spates. Still, I know for a fact they can work, so I wish you the best of luck.
Pure Metal
03-01-2006, 20:23
-snip longness-
i am so fucking lucky to have you :fluffle: :fluffle:
i mean that with all my heart, my soul, and everything i have. i love you...so much... but those words won't do! i love you... completely. thats better. i want to be with you so much. i'm yours :-)
edit: and that was before the email!! *megahugs*
Glitziness
03-01-2006, 21:29
i am so fucking lucky to have you :fluffle: :fluffle:
edit/addition: i mean that with all my heart, my soul, and everything i have. i love you...so much... but those words won't do! i love you... completely. thats better. i want to be with you so much. i'm yours :-)
It's not luck. You deserve someone to make you happy, to care about you, to make you see how incredible you are, to make you feel special and loved, to help you and be there for you when you need someone... and I only hope I can make sure you have all of that which I can offer, and I'll aim to do so as best as I can :fluffle: :fluffle:
*hugs* you steal my words! i can only say that i understand what you mean totally, because i feel the same way. there isn't a part of me that doesn't love you and i'm so full of all these feelings for you and all this happiness you bring me. each moment of my day, youre somehow there in my mind, and i only wish you could be there properly
And thank you for the well wishing Delsa. We know it can be hard, and we know it takes more than luck as well. It means putting effort into the relationship, openness, trust and great communication.
Sarkhaan
03-01-2006, 21:30
i am so fucking lucky to have you :fluffle: :fluffle:
i mean that with all my heart, my soul, and everything i have. i love you...so much... but those words won't do! i love you... completely. thats better. i want to be with you so much. i'm yours :-)
edit: and that was before the email!! *megahugs*
it needs to be said...


*deep breath*

AAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
WWW*gasp*WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW*passes out from lack of air*
Kreitzmoorland
03-01-2006, 21:42
The premise of "cheering up" people that are depressed such that they won't be depressed any longer is a bit silly. Having friends, support, family, shrinks, excercise, healthy food, and drugs galore all in the proper proportions aren't going to "fix" anybody.

All those things can help, but I don't think anyone really knows how people get into and out of depression. One of my oldest friends is now in the hospital wanting to kill herself, and mired in depression and anorexia - she intelectually understands all of the good advice that is given her (she's isn't crazy), but for some reason she can't seem to feel it, or want to take it, or get herself into any pro-active state. I don't pretend to understand it, but clearly there is somehting deep going on that a bit of organic pomegranate juice won't fix.
Glitziness
03-01-2006, 21:47
it needs to be said...


*deep breath*

AAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
WWW*gasp*WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW*passes out from lack of air*
lol! :D

"*deep breath*" haha... think I'll be needing a few of them... :P
Pure Metal
03-01-2006, 21:51
It's not luck. You deserve someone to make you happy, to care about you, to make you see how incredible you are, to make you feel special and loved, to help you and be there for you when you need someone... and I only hope I can make sure you have all of that which I can offer, and I'll aim to do so as best as I can :fluffle: :fluffle:
*hugs* you steal my words! i can only say that i understand what you mean totally, because i feel the same way. there isn't a part of me that doesn't love you and i'm so full of all these feelings for you and all this happiness you bring me. each moment of my day, youre somehow there in my mind, and i only wish you could be there properly
oh it is luck in some way... if not "luck" then i am grateful in every which way for you, and for you being in my life :fluffle:
and you took the words right out of my mouth, too ;) :D
and again, words out of my mouth. you haven't been out of my mind for a moment in weeks :P

And thank you for the well wishing Delsa. We know it can be hard, and we know it takes more than luck as well. It means putting effort into the relationship, openness, trust and great communication.
what the boss said ;)

it needs to be said...


*deep breath*

AAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
WWW*gasp*WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW*passes out from lack of air*
i've been going through some things (family/personal stuff) recently and she has helped immeasurably. i think that level of mushyness is justified.
German Nightmare
03-01-2006, 21:51
(...) You deserve someone to make you happy, to care about you, to make you see how incredible you are, to make you feel special and loved, to help you and be there for you when you need someone... (...)
Okay, so now I'm really depressed... Where is my special someone? :( And stop posting all that stuff in white!!! How's that gonna chear up those without a special someone?!?!?!?!?
Pure Metal
03-01-2006, 21:56
Okay, so now I'm really depressed... Where is my special someone? :( And stop posting all that stuff in white!!! How's that gonna chear up those without a special someone?!?!?!?!?
*slaps butt* hi hon ;) :p
no not really, of course, lol... amy is the only one for me ;-)
but the stuff in white is just another way to communicate as i see it - we're talking on msn anyway (and generally have about half a dozen conversations going on there at once), and then can message each other here too. hahaha :-P
but the white text option is also useful for during the day when i'm working and can't be on msn *nods*
Glitziness
03-01-2006, 22:05
Okay, so now I'm really depressed... Where is my special someone? :( And stop posting all that stuff in white!!! How's that gonna chear up those without a special someone?!?!?!?!?
They're out there. And you will find them. It takes work and effort to make a relationship work, but you can find people who suit you and make you happy and if you're willing to put the effort in, you'll get a hell of a lot out of it. I don't know how you find that person, or when you find that person. I don't have all the answers. But I can offer hope that however desolate your life seems, it can always improve.
I can't help it! I'm addicted! maybe it can cheer you up by showing you there's more than meets the eye i.e. there's more to life than the sadness you see right now [/strange babble that believe it or not does have a point]
Hobovillia
03-01-2006, 22:05
Simonist']Funny story....as I'm reading through this first post, I'm munching on some chocolate, having just finished a sammich on white bread, and making plans to go out to the cafe with my friends tonight, all while having waited three days since I've tried to refill my meds (my pharmacy is, arguably, the most retarded in the nation....). But then I remembered that I AM eating organic dark, and it was a heavily loaded veggie sammich along with some clam chowder, and my doctor has celebrated the fact that coffee doesn't really negatively effect me. Close call.

Seriously, though.....it all comes back to overall health and wellness. Do folks snack because they're depressed or are they depressed because they snack? No, they're depressed because for some reason their brain is convinced that something is very wrong, and they turn to food for comfort. I've tried the idea of cutting out "depression"-inducing foods from my diet, and in those two weeks I didn't notice any change whatsoever between my mood swings and what I'm like normally.

Of course, I'm not clinically depressed so much as bipolar, so it may not work so heavily on me. However, overall I believe that the food makes little difference in practical application. Plus, it's a well-supported idea that eating many small snacks throughout the day, rather than three large meals, actually boosts your metabolism and keeps you thinner, so I wouldn't necessarily advise people against that one.

Well, isn't it the mind over matter thing as well? Believing drugs will have much more affect than they do will make you heal (mentally) faster than you would've.
Sumamba Buwhan
03-01-2006, 22:12
Depression sucks and it's very hard to help a depressed person because everything seems so hopeless. I should know, I've been on the verge of suicide several times but just couldn't do that to my family. I am glad I never went through with it because things are looking up for me in many ways.

Suggestions are still good to give though because once in a while a depressed person gets fed up and will try anything, so don't give up on the depressed people no matter how frustrating it is as they reject everything you tell them.

The OP is corrrect, a proper diet is the most important thing you can do. Quit eating junk food and learn about proper nutrition. And yes potatoes are miracle workers. Don't forget to take your vitamins and minerals either. If you have never heard of Juice Plus, check it out.

Exercise is very important too. There are a lot of ways to get exercise too where it is more fun than it is work. Play soccer or go swimming. Hell, I just love to go running until I am out of breath. Exercise causes the release of endorphins which help you feel good, and you also just feel good about yourself when you are fit.

Sometimes we just need someone to listen to us. I know that whenever I would get depressed for no reason I would clam up and not talk to anyone but my friend would prod me to talk sometimes and I would spout all kinds of poor-me and life sucks bullshit. When my friend would try to counter what I would say (even if it made a lot of sense) I would get angry. She learned not to even try to counter it and I would end up hearing how stupid I sounded by verbalizing that crap I was thinking. Most of the time I was depressed for no reason whatsoever (probably a chemical imbalance but I never went to see anyone about it) but that still prompted me to come up with stupid poor-me stuff.

There is nothing wrong with feeling depressed and one should not punish themselves for feeling that way. Let yourself be depressed. Observe your thoughts about it, feel the feelings. It is part of the human condition. YOu may feel alone but in reality there are thousands upon thousands of people right there with you at that moment. Sometimes it become too much to bear and then I recommend a certain type of meditation that has helped me tremendously: Visualize a purple force field around your body like a big bubble. Hold your attention on that force field. I have found it to help me feel safe and I get a wierd feeling of warmth like a hug from a loved one. This may seem wierd to you but I can physically feel someones anger when it is directed at me and I used the force field and I can block it! It's basically a mental trick to help you feel safe and protected and keep your mind focused on something positive and off the negative.

You should not use drugs to cover the depression up, but sometimes a bit of mary jane helps me see humor in my depressed state and I can get some relief for a while as I work out my problem. That should never become a habit though, but it is a nice vacation from a tormented mind.
Glitziness
03-01-2006, 22:28
oh it is luck in some way... if not "luck" then i am grateful in every which way for you, and for you being in my life :fluffle:
and you took the words right out of my mouth, too ;) :D
and again, words out of my mouth. you haven't been out of my mind for a moment in weeks :P
It could be luck that we met and we're (seemingly) so perfect for each other. It's not luck that you have someone who loves you and adores you and wants to spend each waking moment with you. Taking into account how fantastic you are, it's just logical ;) :p :fluffle:
*hugs* :-)
what the boss said ;)
Haha, I'm not your boss! i just will be in bed... sometimes... :P

i've been going through some things (family/personal stuff) recently and she has helped immeasurably. i think that level of mushyness is justified.
:fluffle:
Eruantalon
03-01-2006, 23:14
Um. You can't cure clinical depression by simply eating potatoes and organic chocolate.

I'm afraid some of us have a rather more serious condition than that.
I didn't offer a cure. I offered a tip. Eating healthier food, getting exercise and sleeping regularly does help to keep a person happier.

Although I've experienced it (not clinically, mind you), I don't know much on how to cure depression. But this information is just too good not to share. I've found that I'm happier in times when I eat healthier food (Pure Metal and others can back me up on this). Why shouldn't we talk about it?

Have you also noticed that in society depression levels are at their maximum now that we eat more processed sugars and fast food than ever before? There could be a correlation.

Bloody luddite! How dare you give such bad advice??!!!

**wanderes off too pissed for words**
Permanently being on drugs is not natural. They can be useful but I don't consider them to be a permanent solution.

Nah, that's crap. Self indulgence is fun! A strict wholemeal bread, water, lentils, and lean beef diet would make me cry.
From my own experience, I can tell you that a "healthy diet" only sounds terribly unappealing when you're already on an unhealthy diet. Give it a try, you may not even be able to cry when it's through with you!

I was with you up until that point. The day I stop drinking coffee is the day I die.
I love how almost all coffee drinkers I know are addicted to it.

Im only depressed now because winter break is almost over, and I mysteriously managed to piss a girl off so much (literaly overnight) that she now refuses to talk to me. No clue what I did. Honest
If you want to discuss it, (and you should! it's better to talk about it than stay confused) start another thread, or post in a more relevant one.

Not wanting to rain on your parade too much but thats not very useful advice. In an attempt to feel better about 3 months ago i did all that. Started going to the gym 3 times a week, ate realyl healthily and lost quite a bit of weight. I do have more energy now but i still dont feel like doing much with it. Still as depressed as ever....
Again, I didn't say it was a cure. Get some hobbies. Playing the guitar is a good one.

My tips are mainly based on personal experience. Not all our bodies react the same way to stuff.

All those things can help, but I don't think anyone really knows how people get into and out of depression. One of my oldest friends is now in the hospital wanting to kill herself, and mired in depression and anorexia - she intelectually understands all of the good advice that is given her (she's isn't crazy), but for some reason she can't seem to feel it, or want to take it, or get herself into any pro-active state. I don't pretend to understand it, but clearly there is somehting deep going on that a bit of organic pomegranate juice won't fix.
Again, I'm not an expert, and I can't offer any cures (especially not for extreme cases). I only offer advice.

Exercise causes the release of endorphins which help you feel good, and you also just feel good about yourself when you are fit.
Quoted as the truth.


Oh, PM and Glitziness, I have a big dopey smile on my face and a warm heart within me reading your posts. :)
German Nightmare
03-01-2006, 23:35
PM & Glitzi -> :fluffle: _______________http://www.studip.uni-goettingen.de/pictures/smile/kerze2.gif <- me
*slaps butt* hi hon ;) :p
no not really, of course, lol... amy is the only one for me ;-)
:eek: Oh, okay - it's just you :D Yeah, I figured that much! Makes me wonder whether it was a wise choice to state I wanted to be in room alone with you and Sinuhue, though, hehe... Nah, we'd have a real blast, I'm sure.
They're out there. And you will find them. It takes work and effort to make a relationship work, but you can find people who suit you and make you happy and if you're willing to put the effort in, you'll get a hell of a lot out of it. I don't know how you find that person, or when you find that person. I don't have all the answers. But I can offer hope that however desolate your life seems, it can always improve.
I know they're out there. Problem is that I was too scared to go after them... that would've included leaving my castle-like sanctuary of a little apartment. But I've already improved on that and maybe sometime soon (when I least expect it) I might just meet her.
Then I can put my knowledge to work that it takes and effort to make a relationship work - but first I'd need someone to even have a relationship with... Thing is - I know most of it; I just don't feel it. That's really upsetting sometimes!

@ Sumamba Buwhan: Thanks for your post, really liked it. And I had a good laugh when you said you liked running until you are out of breath - that would happen to me after 20 meters :D
But I'll try to switch to a healthier diet, maybe that does improve things. Hell, I lost 2 kilograms when I was at home for Christmas just by eating good and regular (not even little!)...
Then I'll reduce my smoking habit and after that, maybe then, I'll be able to start exercising again.

Meh, life sucks big time sometimes! Today is a sometimes :(
Glitziness
03-01-2006, 23:44
I didn't offer a cure. I offered a tip. Eating healthier food, getting exercise and sleeping regularly does help to keep a person happier.

Although I've experienced it (not clinically, mind you), I don't know much on how to cure depression. But this information is just too good not to share. I've found that I'm happier in times when I eat healthier food (Pure Metal and others can back me up on this).
I know that for me, it doesn't solve problems, but it helps break the spirals I can get into. That slight boost in your mood and energy can give you the opening to see things more positively and start working towards sorting things out in your life.

Either way, I didn't see you promoting it as a magical cure, just a friendly tip that could help someone.

From my own experience, I can tell you that a "healthy diet" only sounds terribly unappealing when you're already on an unhealthy diet. Give it a try, you may not even be able to cry when it's through with you!
I'd agree with that from experience too. I do know that for me I have to find a balance and not be overly strict with myself. I have to be happy with what I'm eating. Not so little I'm craving foods I like, but not so much I'm unhealthy (and unhappy with my lack of control).

Oh, PM and Glitziness, I have a big dopey smile on my face and a warm heart within me reading your posts. :)
Change that to "huge cheesy smile and a bursting with happiness heart" and that's how I feel :D

I know they're out there. Problem is that I was too scared to go after them... that would've included leaving my castle-like sanctuary of a little apartment. But I've already improved on that and maybe sometime soon (when I least expect it) I might just meet her.
Then I can put my knowledge to work that it takes and effort to make a relationship work - but first I'd need someone to even have a relationship with... Thing is - I know most of it; I just don't feel it. That's really upsetting sometimes!
Firstly, well done on improving. I bet that at one point you didn't think you could do that. And you did.
Secondly, one thing which helped me was realising that everyone is like this to some exent. They have logic and common sense and reason and all the good advice in the world... but it doesn't feel like it. It takes time. And to some extent, it's human nature. But you can grow to be "healthy" (whatever that is). For me, in therapy, something as simple as writing down the positive counterthoughts each time I was depressed helped. I didn't believe them at first, and I kept track of how strongly I had faith in them (percent wise), but going over it over and over, it gradually starts to get in your head and the positive thoughts build.
I can't offer advice really - different things work for people. But I can give suggestions, and be an example of someone who overcame it and fought it, is still fighting it but loving life right now :) there is hope.
If you ever need to chat, TG me.
Pure Metal
03-01-2006, 23:49
:eek: Oh, okay - it's just you :D Yeah, I figured that much! Makes me wonder whether it was a wise choice to state I wanted to be in room alone with you and Sinuhue, though, hehe... Nah, we'd have a real blast, I'm sure.
lol! :D
depends on your definition of a "real blast" ;)

I know they're out there. Problem is that I was too scared to go after them... that would've included leaving my castle-like sanctuary of a little apartment. But I've already improved on that and maybe sometime soon (when I least expect it) I might just meet her.
Then I can put my knowledge to work that it takes and effort to make a relationship work - but first I'd need someone to even have a relationship with... Thing is - I know most of it; I just don't feel it. That's really upsetting sometimes!
when you least expect it.... quite. i mean i'd actually given up on ever finding a woman (yet alone love) when i 'met' amy. ok its an online romance but it works, the feelings are real, and its a long distance relationship with long term promise (as far as i'm concerned)
hence, i was once in a similar position as you are, and all i can say is not to give up hope, because you never know whats round the corner :)

and besides, having that knowledge is better than not, and will probably put you apart/above a whole bunch of other blokes out there... which is a plus for when you do find a special lady

@ Sumamba Buwhan: Thanks for your post, really liked it. And I had a good laugh when you said you liked running until you are out of breath - that would happen to me after 20 meters :D
But I'll try to switch to a healthier diet, maybe that does improve things. Hell, I lost 2 kilograms when I was at home for Christmas just by eating good and regular (not even little!)...
Then I'll reduce my smoking habit and after that, maybe then, I'll be able to start exercising again.

Meh, life sucks big time sometimes! Today is a sometimes :(
i'm pretty sure exercise and being in control of the way you look is quite important in self-esteem and therefore in fighting elements of depression. and i think - whether or not that was the intention - thats something to take out of the OP. but you gotta get comfortable with yourself before you get exercising really (imo) - like i used to swim a lot but am now too self-conciously fat to do so anymore :(
but other exercise will lead to losing enough weight so i can do that. and eating better will lead to losing enough weight to start to exercise... it all makes sense *nods*
good luck with it anyway
Glitziness
04-01-2006, 00:04
when you least expect it.... quite. i mean i'd actually given up on ever finding a woman (yet alone love) when i 'met' amy.
Same. I wasn't looking for a relationship. It just kind of... happened.

ok its an online romance but it works, the feelings are real, and its a long distance relationship with long term promise (as far as i'm concerned)
as far as i'm concerned, it certainly is :)
:fluffle:
Ham-o
04-01-2006, 00:13
the thing that helps me through depression... the fact that nothing lasts forever. i mean, sure, i will die, you will die, friendships will end, and so on and so forth. but even darkness must pass.... life goes on...
German Nightmare
04-01-2006, 00:18
Firstly, well done on improving. I bet that at one point you didn't think you could do that. And you did.
Secondly, one thing which helped me was realising that everyone is like this to some exent. They have logic and common sense and reason and all the good advice in the world... but it doesn't feel like it. It takes time. And to some extent, it's human nature. But you can grow to be "healthy" (whatever that is). For me, in therapy, something as simple as writing down the positive counterthoughts each time I was depressed helped. I didn't believe them at first, and I kept track of how strongly I had faith in them (percent wise), but going over it over and over, it gradually starts to get in your head and the positive thoughts build.
I can't offer advice really - different things work for people. But I can give suggestions, and be an example of someone who overcame it and fought it, is still fighting it but loving life right now :) there is hope.
If you ever need to chat, TG me.
Ooh, it was hard work and still is most of the time. It takes effort and time and a lot of courage and just sometimes I'm even too down to spare any of it. Then I just sit and stare and only my brain runs around in circles (no more spirals, though!) ...
As for the counter-thoughts. I dunno. I've got this sheet my therapist gave to me with exactly that on it - and I rarely know what to write down. It's almost as if my mind goes blank when I try to focus. Grrr ;)
Did you have a hard time "measuring" your feelings or how much you believe in things in percent as well? To me, that doesn't make much sense. Like, where's the difference between 60 and 70%? One day's 50% may be another day's 80% - know what I mean?
Not loving life right now - but I'm not hating it anymore either, so yes, there is hope.
Thanks.

when you least expect it.... quite. i mean i'd actually given up on ever finding a woman (yet alone love) when i 'met' amy. ok its an online romance but it works, the feelings are real, and its a long distance relationship with long term promise
hence, i was once in a similar position as you are, and all i can say is not to give up hope, because you never know whats round the corner :)
I just hope it ain't the bus... (*remembers Final Destination & shudders*)

and besides, having that knowledge is better than not, and will probably put you apart/above a whole bunch of other blokes out there... which is a plus for when you do find a special lady
I sure think so - it's not like I've never had a relationship before - they just never lasted and I know why the last two broke down... She didn't know what was going on with me 'cause even I didn't know at the time. The last ended more than two years ago... that's a long time of involuntary celibacy! Praised be the internet :-D


i'm pretty sure exercise and being in control of the way you look is quite important in self-esteem and therefore in fighting elements of depression. and i think - whether or not that was the intention - thats something to take out of the OP. but you gotta get comfortable with yourself before you get exercising really (imo) - like i used to swim a lot but am now too self-conciously fat to do so anymore :(
but other exercise will lead to losing enough weight so i can do that. and eating better will lead to losing enough weight to start to exercise... it all makes sense *nods*
good luck with it anyway
I know what you mean. I've never been in a greater shape than when I still swam. I not a long distance runner, never have been. Sprinter, yes... But that doesn't do you much good bodywise when all you can do is one sprint :D
Yes, it does make sense. Even though twisted and evil 'cause it would require me to move ;)
Oh, and "real blast" - maybe I should've said "good time talking with you and Sinuhue"!
Sumamba Buwhan
04-01-2006, 00:19
On the above - Glad you enjoyed my post German Nightmare - I don't need to run far to be out of breath either, but that doesnt matter. Once I catch my breath I will start running again simply because I enjoy running, not because there is some benefit from it. It's always the most fun when hiking in a beautiful area though. What you should do is find some sort of exercise that you enjoy and do that for the enjoyment of it. For me swimming and running are just plain fun so thats what I do.

One of the things I mean to mention in my post was that several avenues should be taken when battling depression. It may seem like a lot and will more than likely seem pointless when it doesnt go away right away (especially when quitting smoking - I was a major asshole to many people very close to me for a few weeks as I quit smoking) or still reoccurs every once in a while even though you are taking care of yourself in all these different ways.

Also don't go full force into any of these things; ease your way comfortably into them or else you will be in danger of getting discouraged and give up entirely. A little jogging once or twice a week. Try a new recipe once or twice a week.

As an example I will take from my own life... Instead of having ice cream everyday (yes I love ice cream sooo much and had it every single day) have it only 4 days for the first couple of weeks and don't have as big of a portion as you usually do, and then try that the next couple of weeks to eat it even fewer days and maybe replace it with carrots or fresh fruit (personally I have a juicer and I LOVE my fresh juices more than anything now). When quitting smoking cut down to 5 ciggs a day for a few weeks and when that seems easy, move to 4 until that's easy and so on (this is also taken from my own experience).

I guess what I am saying is, don't expect any single thing to help you completely and take baby steps in everything and it will eventually seem like it was a walk in the park rather than a huge hurdle like it did at the time of implementation.

And regarding finding love... Pure Metal and Glitziness I am so happy for you two! What you have is beautiful, I can see shiny sparklies of delight shining thru your text.

I too had given up completely on love. I had given up on even finding anyone for teh s3x. I was prepared to live my life alone and along came an amazing woman and now I am getting married. I'm still baffled as to how it all happened, but without looking I found my life partner :)
Eruantalon
04-01-2006, 00:45
Change that to "huge cheesy smile and a bursting with happiness heart" and that's how I feel

Yeah. That's the best feeling in the world.

*puts on "Violently Happy" by Bjork*
German Nightmare
04-01-2006, 00:50
On the above - Glad you enjoyed my post German Nightmare - I don't need to run far to be out of breath either, but that doesnt matter. Once I catch my breath I will start running again simply because I enjoy running, not because there is some benefit from it. It's always the most fun when hiking in a beautiful area though. What you should do is find some sort of exercise that you enjoy and do that for the enjoyment of it. For me swimming and running are just plain fun so thats what I do.
Yeah, I guess I need to find something I'd really enjoy. Swimming is one thing - getting to the pool the other... Hopefully by the time spring arrives here I'll have found something to indulge in.
One of the things I mean to mention in my post was that several avenues should be taken when battling depression. It may seem like a lot and will more than likely seem pointless when it doesnt go away right away (especially when quitting smoking - I was a major asshole to many people very close to me for a few weeks as I quit smoking) or still reoccurs every once in a while even though you are taking care of yourself in all these different ways.
That's one of the reasons I never really quit smoking - I couldn't even stand myself, let alone getting along with other people...
Also don't go full force into any of these things; ease your way comfortably into them or else you will be in danger of getting discouraged and give up entirely. A little jogging once or twice a week. Try a new recipe once or twice a week.
Ooh yah - you are talking to Mr. Discouragement in persona! And my self-confidence is so low, even limbo-pros would have a hard time ;)
As an example I will take from my own life... Instead of having ice cream everyday (yes I love ice cream sooo much and had it every single day) have it only 4 days for the first couple of weeks and don't have as big of a portion as you usually do, and then try that the next couple of weeks to eat it even fewer days and maybe replace it with carrots or fresh fruit (personally I have a juicer and I LOVE my fresh juices more than anything now). When quitting smoking cut down to 5 ciggs a day for a few weeks and when that seems easy, move to 4 until that's easy and so on (this is also taken from my own experience).
How easy is it to mess up a juicer? 'Cause eating veggies and fruit is something completely different from just drinking them? (Too bad Christmas is over - that would've been a useful gift for me!)
I guess what I am saying is, don't expect any single thing to help you completely and take baby steps in everything and it will eventually seem like it was a walk in the park rather than a huge hurdle like it did at the time of implementation.
Yeah. What upsets me most about my whole situation though is that one small moment fucked pretty much everything up and all the effort I have to put into getting back to normal, all the time, all the work - well, it seems that there isn't anything that is more out of balance than that... And I do get impatient very easily, especially with myself. But I don't wanna turn into a Vader, either. And I'm glad I haven't exploded then, don't think I will now that I've already seen so much improvement.
And regarding finding love... Pure Metal and Glitziness I am so happy for you two! What you have is beautiful, I can see shiny sparklies of delight shining thru your text.
I totally second that! Just look at them go: http://www.studip.uni-goettingen.de/pictures/smile/kiss.gif

I too had given up completely on love. I had given up on even finding anyone for teh s3x. I was prepared to live my life alone and along came an amazing woman and now I am getting married. I'm still baffled as to how it all happened, but without looking I found my life partner :)
That's great!
Well, the only thing that really baffles me is that half my friends from highschool are still dating the same persons they went steady with 7-8 years ago - and the other half including me has had more relationships than they would like. Anyway, a good friend of mine with whom I lost touch is getting married this Friday and I decided to accept his invitation to the party on Saturday - even though it means spending half a day on the train each way.
Three months ago I wouldn't have even considered going.

Maybe what I'm trying to say is that although I'm glad that there is improvement and I'm more than happy to see and experience it - the more things I straighten out, the more I realize just how much there still is to do - even simple, little things that I didn't really have to think about because they came naturally. And I'm not talking "ignorance is bliss" - it's more like natural happiness. I've changed from a good tempered, friendly guy your girlfriend's grandparents like to the guy I never wanted to turn into, bitter, hateful, aggressive. And that's bad. Then, to finish this long-ass post with a Manowar lyric: Nothing is as bad as it seems.
Sarkhaan
04-01-2006, 00:54
've been going through some things (family/personal stuff) recently and she has helped immeasurably. i think that level of mushyness is justified.
haha...i have no doubt it's justified...but you should know by now that I have to have my bastard moments;) It really was cute tho. Just don't tell anyone I used the word "cute" *shudder*
Sarkhaan
04-01-2006, 00:55
I totally second that! Just look at them go: http://www.studip.uni-goettingen.de/pictures/smile/kiss.gif
I'd just like you to know that you just made me shoot horseradish out my nose. And it burns alot.:p
German Nightmare
04-01-2006, 01:14
I'd just like you to know that you just made me shoot horseradish out my nose. And it burns alot.:p
Uh oh, I'm sorry about that! I don't like horseradish 'cause it's so hot... But I know what it tastes like! So sorry!!!

(But honestly, when do people learn not to eat or drink while browsing NS?)
Sarkhaan
04-01-2006, 01:15
(But honestly, when do people learn not to eat or drink while browsing NS?)
but...but......but I was huuuuuungry:(
Eutrusca
04-01-2006, 01:17
you know I'm more than happy to :fluffle: you know I'd spend every second of my days doing what I could to keep you happy if I could. I wish I could.

I love you, and that won't be changing any time soon *hugs*
[ looks at everyone else in the thread ]

All together now ... Awwwwwwwww! :D
Eutrusca
04-01-2006, 01:20
i am so fucking lucky to have you :fluffle: :fluffle:
Yes, you are lucky to have her and don't you forget it! Mess dis up, 'n me 'n da boyz got sum concrete overshoes for ya. :D
Sumamba Buwhan
04-01-2006, 01:28
Yeah, I guess I need to find something I'd really enjoy. Swimming is one thing - getting to the pool the other... Hopefully by the time spring arrives here I'll have found something to indulge in.

That's one of the reasons I never really quit smoking - I couldn't even stand myself, let alone getting along with other people...

Ooh yah - you are talking to Mr. Discouragement in persona! And my self-confidence is so low, even limbo-pros would have a hard time ;)

How easy is it to mess up a juicer? 'Cause eating veggies and fruit is something completely different from just drinking them? (Too bad Christmas is over - that would've been a useful gift for me!)

Yeah. What upsets me most about my whole situation though is that one small moment fucked pretty much everything up and all the effort I have to put into getting back to normal, all the time, all the work - well, it seems that there isn't anything that is more out of balance than that... And I do get impatient very easily, especially with myself. But I don't wanna turn into a Vader, either. And I'm glad I haven't exploded then, don't think I will now that I've already seen so much improvement.

I totally second that! Just look at them go: http://www.studip.uni-goettingen.de/pictures/smile/kiss.gif


That's great!
Well, the only thing that really baffles me is that half my friends from highschool are still dating the same persons they went steady with 7-8 years ago - and the other half including me has had more relationships than they would like. Anyway, a good friend of mine with whom I lost touch is getting married this Friday and I decided to accept his invitation to the party on Saturday - even though it means spending half a day on the train each way.
Three months ago I wouldn't have even considered going.

Maybe what I'm trying to say is that although I'm glad that there is improvement and I'm more than happy to see and experience it - the more things I straighten out, the more I realize just how much there still is to do - even simple, little things that I didn't really have to think about because they came naturally. And I'm not talking "ignorance is bliss" - it's more like natural happiness. I've changed from a good tempered, friendly guy your girlfriend's grandparents like to the guy I never wanted to turn into, bitter, hateful, aggressive. And that's bad. Then, to finish this long-ass post with a Manowar lyric: Nothing is as bad as it seems.

Trust me, I know the trials of quitting smoking. It didnt happen for me overnight... it took me years of tryign to quit. The weening myself off of ciggs is the only thing that worked in my case. and when I started smokign fewer ciggs a day it still took me about a year until I was at the point where I was comfortable with 1 cigg a day. After about a month of that, I quit completely and thats when I was still being a complete ass to people for a while. Then after that I still wanted a cigg for years. Finally I am at teh point where they disgust me when I smell them and I have no cravings for them anymroe either. I don't know how long you ahve been smoking but the longer you smoke the harder it is to quit. I smoked for about 8 or 9 years.


Mess up a juicer as in break it? That's easy, I almost broke mine on the first day (and it's a good juicer too. BTW don't get a cheap juicer and research them before you buy, otherwise you are throwing your money away). Mess up the juice? Also easy if you are experimenting with wierd stuff. Mine came with a bunch of combination suggestions though and my favorite is carrot/orange juice. I love to eat raw fruits and veggies too, the only reason I juice is to make mixes and try new things. It's easier to drink 4 carrots than to eat them too.

On Love: I had many gf's over my lifetime. They usually all ended after 1 or two months. Because of their problems or my problems or both. When they lasted longer than that they usually got really ugly by the end. There was a period where I was single and celibate for 5 years, and that entire time I was craving sex and a girlfriend (I was lonely and needed companionship badly). Then there came a point where I came to a realization that I was unhappy with myself and needed to deal with that... I did, I was able to accept and love myself for who I was and then all of a sudden I was literally juggling girls/sexual relationships, and I didn't care. I was happy without them and they would do anythign for me. I was having threesomes with hotties and everything.:D Sometimes you gotta brag about that shit hehehe

So in conclusion... nothign IS as bad as it seems and there is an ebb and flow to life that constantly renews all situations. If you want to read some ramblings then continue, but ignore it if you think it's a bit too far out.

This is going off on a tangent maybe but, something I heard someone say recently was along the lines of "There are two things that can make a person unhappy, one is not getting what he/she wants, the other is getting what he/she wants". I laughed but saw true wisdom in it because it applys to nearly everyone I know including myself. Or even just celebrities who have recognition, money, 5 houses and 12 cars, a healthy diet and are physically fit, but they are unfullfilled. They then end up drowning themselves in alcohol/drugs to cover the depression. Many of us look outside ourselves for happiness. We wont find happiness in accomplishments (for long) or from possessions (for long), or from finding a partner (for long) unless we first find it in ourselves. So many of us will say we can't be happy until we accomplished something first, so ourhappiness always lies in the future, or we will say that I can never be happy because of somethign that happened in my past. So we tell ourselves that we can't fully be ourselves or appreciate ourselves because we are incomplete or damaged somehow. This isn't true, what we really need to do is stop our incessant thoughts and just be present within this moment.
Straughn
04-01-2006, 08:33
just stay depressed. its easier.
then the times when you're 'not depressed' are like little islands of joy and you can look forward to them
I can *truly* identify with that.
After having too much of that for too f*cking long, i decided to amend it just a bit ...
so i deal with contentment as often as possible, in the fulfillment sense. And when happiness arrives or occurs, it makes the plus for my day. And if i swing down to the old 'hood, i find another way to bring contentment ... by bereaving myself of the burden of my ego (if i can) and divorce myself from my usual routine. Go for a walk, get it out, yell, do something i'm good at (as few things as there are). Then maybe lucid dream. Then i'm too busy to worry about it later, and get to accomplishing things, which kind of prevents me from focusing on my personal problems too much (such is the benefit of having a job like mine).
I think Lunatic Goofballs has a good attitude about it, in a fashion.
Kreitzmoorland
04-01-2006, 08:47
Oh, PM and Glitziness, I have a big dopey smile on my face and a warm heart within me reading your posts. :)How. They make me want to mire myself on a desert island, never to regain human contact, ever, again. There is a limit...no wait, apparently there isn't.
Glitziness
04-01-2006, 17:04
Ooh, it was hard work and still is most of the time. It takes effort and time and a lot of courage and just sometimes I'm even too down to spare any of it. Then I just sit and stare and only my brain runs around in circles (no more spirals, though!) ...
As for the counter-thoughts. I dunno. I've got this sheet my therapist gave to me with exactly that on it - and I rarely know what to write down. It's almost as if my mind goes blank when I try to focus. Grrr ;)
Did you have a hard time "measuring" your feelings or how much you believe in things in percent as well? To me, that doesn't make much sense. Like, where's the difference between 60 and 70%? One day's 50% may be another day's 80% - know what I mean?
Not loving life right now - but I'm not hating it anymore either, so yes, there is hope.
Thanks.
I know that. I still find it hard work myself. I don't think it will ever go away completely; I have some characteristics too deep set in my personality. But I do believe the battle against it is worth it, 100%. I wouldn't give up all the negatives if it meant giving up all the positives as well.
My mind used to go blank too. One way of doing it, for me, was to try and see it objectively. Do you ever find that you can offer logical, helpful advice to others, but when it comes to yourself it seems impossible? Well, I do. So I just forced myself to distance myself from it all and force myself to think of positive thoughts, almost treating it like I was doing it for someone else.
I found the measuring hard because I overthought it. In the end I just wrote down what I felt like. On a day-to-day basis it won't mean much, but it stunned me to see how much I changed over weeks and months.
That's good. It takes a lot to be content with life, let alone loving it, but anything is better than hating it.
No problem.
(Oh, and I love that smiley :p i doubt i'll be far from it when i get my hands on him :P)
And regarding finding love... Pure Metal and Glitziness I am so happy for you two! What you have is beautiful, I can see shiny sparklies of delight shining thru your text.
Thank you! I'm quite happy for us too ;) And it's lovely to hear about you finding your life partner :) Congrats on the marriage! I wish you all the best with her.

haha...i have no doubt it's justified...but you should know by now that I have to have my bastard moments It really was cute tho. Just don't tell anyone I used the word "cute" *shudder*
we'll turn you into a soppy romance-loving person yet ;) hah, you'd get pissed if i said the things you say can be cute sometimes, right? :P

[ looks at everyone else in the thread ]

All together now ... Awwwwwwwww!
:D
Yes, you are lucky to have her and don't you forget it! Mess dis up, 'n me 'n da boyz got sum concrete overshoes for ya.
Lol! :D Don't you worry - he makes me feel wonderfully loved and cared about each and every day :) :fluffle:

How. They make me want to mire myself on a desert island, never to regain human contact, ever, again. There is a limit...no wait, apparently there isn't.
Haha, good thing you can't access my inbox :p we know no boundaries...
Pure Metal
04-01-2006, 17:14
Lol! :D Don't you worry - he makes me feel wonderfully loved and cared about each and every day :) :fluffle:

hah well i made you a promise and i fully intend to keep it :fluffle:
so don't you worry, eut!
yay for your results btw!! go you! :-D
anyways, back to work... wah.
Glitziness
04-01-2006, 17:48
hah well i made you a promise and i fully intend to keep it :fluffle:
so don't you worry, eut!
yay for your results btw!! go you! :-D
anyways, back to work... wah.
as do I with my promise to you :) :fluffle:
with my coursework, modulars and mock test I have A* in Biology and Physics and A in Chemistry! woo :-D and A* in Health and Social Care! *is happy* if I can get these kind of results for all my mocks, I'm seriously considering being ill over the GCSEs and just having these as my results, cos that's what would happen and I really don't want to get crappy topics in the real exam and do worse!
*hugs* *massages Huw's shoulders while he works* hehe :P ttyl, love you :-)
edit: oo, and did you get my email? and my reply text? and my text last night? [/is not obsessive....:P]
German Nightmare
04-01-2006, 19:43
but...but......but I was huuuuuungry:(
Just saying for I'm one of them... Coke on the keyboard, juice on the screen, food on the mousepad - just because of NSers' posts.
Trust me, I know the trials of quitting smoking. It didnt happen for me overnight... it took me years of tryign to quit. The weening myself off of ciggs is the only thing that worked in my case. and when I started smokign fewer ciggs a day it still took me about a year until I was at the point where I was comfortable with 1 cigg a day. After about a month of that, I quit completely and thats when I was still being a complete ass to people for a while. Then after that I still wanted a cigg for years. Finally I am at teh point where they disgust me when I smell them and I have no cravings for them anymroe either. I don't know how long you ahve been smoking but the longer you smoke the harder it is to quit. I smoked for about 8 or 9 years.
I started puffing a month before my 18th birthday but really started smoking when I did my year of civil service (still draft in Germany and I didn't wanna join the military, hence...) as a paramedic. 24 hour shifts, lots of stress - and literally everyone smoked. So I switched from self-rolled cigs to industrial cigs (can't roll when your hands are shaking from all the adrenaline) and have been smoking for more than 10 years now.
But, I must add, I have really decreased my habit from a pack a day down to less than 10. It's an improvement but I'm still not quite satisfied.
Mess up a juicer as in break it? That's easy, I almost broke mine on the first day (and it's a good juicer too. BTW don't get a cheap juicer and research them before you buy, otherwise you are throwing your money away). Mess up the juice? Also easy if you are experimenting with wierd stuff. Mine came with a bunch of combination suggestions though and my favorite is carrot/orange juice. I love to eat raw fruits and veggies too, the only reason I juice is to make mixes and try new things. It's easier to drink 4 carrots than to eat them too.
I'm not so worried I would break it on the first day - I'm more worried that it's a lot of work to keep it clean. You know, like: "What do you mean there's a third compartment that I should have cleaned?!?"
Oh yeah, especially with carrots I've got the feeling that the more you chew them, the more you have in your mouth. So drinking them is definitely my choice. Carrots and apples, limes and kiwis, oranges and strawberries - mmmh! And I'm not worried about messing up the juice - if I don't like, don't do it again ;)
On Love: I had many gf's over my lifetime. They usually all ended after 1 or two months. Because of their problems or my problems or both. When they lasted longer than that they usually got really ugly by the end. There was a period where I was single and celibate for 5 years, and that entire time I was craving sex and a girlfriend (I was lonely and needed companionship badly). Then there came a point where I came to a realization that I was unhappy with myself and needed to deal with that... I did, I was able to accept and love myself for who I was and then all of a sudden I was literally juggling girls/sexual relationships, and I didn't care. I was happy without them and they would do anythign for me.
Bold: The reason why I didn't even try in the last two years - I just knew that I'd mess up big time. I couldn't even stand myself, how could I love anyone else?
But I'm getting there to actually accept myself the way I am, appreciate who I am and such... Process is picking up speed already and I'm in a good mood today so I believe things will work out for me! BTW, good for you - but I'd be happy with only one girl right now...
So in conclusion... nothign IS as bad as it seems and there is an ebb and flow to life that constantly renews all situations. If you want to read some ramblings then continue, but ignore it if you think it's a bit too far out.
I liked your words of wisdom. They are true and I know what they mean. I've realized that quite some time ago but didn't know what to do about it.
How. They make me want to mire myself on a desert island, never to regain human contact, ever, again. There is a limit...no wait, apparently there isn't.
There ya go *poof*
http://www.studip.uni-goettingen.de/pictures/smile/haie.gif
Hope you're happy now!
(...)
My mind used to go blank too. One way of doing it, for me, was to try and see it objectively. Do you ever find that you can offer logical, helpful advice to others, but when it comes to yourself it seems impossible? Well, I do. So I just forced myself to distance myself from it all and force myself to think of positive thoughts, almost treating it like I was doing it for someone else.
Oh yeah, that was one thing that really bugged me a lot: I could advise people on all different kinds of mishaps and things, find solutions for their problems and raise their spirits - but when it came to me, everything failed completely. And noone could help me (then).
Well, before I try to distance me from myself I'd rather go find myself again and see where the real me has been hiding all those years. It's a journey worth taking, though, and I'm in good spirits today. Sometimes all it takes is a little sunshine, a good night's sleep, and the right mind-set. Apparently, those three things happened to me today for I'm still doing a-okay today. But I am getting sleepy already, so I better call it a night early.
I found the measuring hard because I overthought it. In the end I just wrote down what I felt like. On a day-to-day basis it won't mean much, but it stunned me to see how much I changed over weeks and months.
That sounds like me. Mr. Brain and Mr. Perfection - I looked at it from a scientific perspective and understood it all, but when it came to me personally, I was completely lost.
(Oh, and I love that smiley) :p i doubt i'll be far from it when i get my hands on him
Oh, I believe you... http://www.studip.uni-goettingen.de/pictures/smile/bettgefluester.gif