NationStates Jolt Archive

my mum and stepdad have had a huge row and basically they're over for good, he even swore on his kids lives that it was, my mum took 6 paracetomols on top of half a bottle of wine, i gave her salt water and so she should throw up soon, but she keeps saying stuff about letting us down, my stepdad made her, my brother and sister move out to the middle of nowhere and there's no local hospitals so she couldn't get a job (she's a nurse) so now she's no home or job or money, she says she just wants my dad back and that she hates him for dying and leaving us and how we'd be better off without her, she's asleep at the moment and I'm keeping an eye on her but I'm supposed to go back to uni tomorrow but how can I leave her like this with my brother and sister? i really don't know what to do

If you are afraid for her health right at this moment, or are afraid that she might hurt herself you have to take her to the hospital. I am serious. My mom has attempted suicide too many times, for me not to take something like this seriously. She needs your help.

How old are your brother and sister?

Do you have any family or friends that they can stay with in the area if needed?

If you are afraid for her health right at this moment, or are afraid that she might hurt herself you have to take her to the hospital. I am serious. My mom has attempted suicide too many times, for me not to take something like this seriously. She needs your help.

How old are your brother and sister?

Do you have any family or friends that they can stay with in the area if needed?
Smunkee's right. If you think there's any risk don't take it. And don't forget: you're strong, TInk. *hugs*

Tink, do you absolutely have to be back at uni for tomorrow? I mean, sod lectures and that (or whatever), do you have something you cannot avoid to miss tomorrow?

If there's nothing massively important, I'd suggest sticking around for a while, at least. Your mum needs you know, right at this moment, for comfort. She'll probably be depressed or something for a while after this, but she will get over it in time (if the relationship is over permanently, people will say anything in the heat of a row).

I know you know how dangerous paracetamol can be if overdosed, so I also know you have got her immediate caring covered. Apart from that just be there for her, however she is reacting.

my mum and stepdad have had a huge row and basically they're over for good, he even swore on his kids lives that it was, my mum took 6 paracetomols on top of half a bottle of wine, i gave her salt water and so she should throw up soon, but she keeps saying stuff about letting us down, my stepdad made her, my brother and sister move out to the middle of nowhere and there's no local hospitals so she couldn't get a job (she's a nurse) so now she's no home or job or money, she says she just wants my dad back and that she hates him for dying and leaving us and how we'd be better off without her, she's asleep at the moment and I'm keeping an eye on her but I'm supposed to go back to uni tomorrow but how can I leave her like this with my brother and sister? i really don't know what to do

No friends or family anywhere around? Anybody che could go and stay with? Would it be possible for you to take her with you for a few days? (I don't know where you live during university)
Don't leave her alone now... I hope she'll calm down in a few days, but until then I think it's not a good idea to leave her alone...
I can offer little enough advise, but if you want to talk to somebody, Tink, just TG me. :fluffle:

Smunkeeville is probably right. Your mother is much more important than attending university.

If you are afraid for her health right at this moment, or are afraid that she might hurt herself you have to take her to the hospital. I am serious. My mom has attempted suicide too many times, for me not to take something like this seriously. She needs your help.

How old are your brother and sister?

Do you have any family or friends that they can stay with in the area if needed?
no, i'm not worried for her health at this particular moment, at the most she's had 6 paracetomols, she should be ok, I'm more worried about her trying it again when I'm away from home. My sister can't cope with it on her own, and my brother definately couldn't.

brother is 14 and sister 17, my brother isn't here and I've managed to calm my sister down, we're in the middle of nowhere, there's nowhere for her to go

Worry about your family first...profs are usually pretty understanding when it comes to personal crisis, and worst case scenario, you lose a week or two. Do you have a Distress Line or something equivalent you could call to find out how to access emergency local supports?

no, i'm not worried for her health at this particular moment, at the most she's had 6 paracetomols, she should be ok, I'm more worried about her trying it again when I'm away from home. My sister can't cope with it on her own, and my brother definately couldn't.

brother is 14 and sister 17, my brother isn't here and I've managed to calm my sister down, we're in the middle of nowhere, there's nowhere for her to go

Then stay. For a few days, a week, just until she feels better. Nothing at university is so important or so urgent that you couldn't work it up afterwards. Stay with her.

Tink, do you absolutely have to be back at uni for tomorrow? I mean, sod lectures and that (or whatever), do you have something you cannot avoid to miss tomorrow?

If there's nothing massively important, I'd suggest sticking around for a while, at least. Your mum needs you know, right at this moment, for comfort. She'll probably be depressed or something for a while after this, but she will get over it in time (if the relationship is over permanently, people will say anything in the heat of a row).

I know you know how dangerous paracetamol can be if overdosed, so I also know you have got her immediate caring covered. Apart from that just be there for her, however she is reacting.
essays need handing in, if i don't go back tomorrow i don't go back at all, i'm thinking i might see about starting again next year, i can't leave them like this

essays need handing in, if i don't go back tomorrow i don't go back at all, i'm thinking i might see about starting again next year, i can't leave them like this

Essays can be sent in the mail in a situation like this. Contact your profs and let them know what is going on... there's no need for you loose an entire year, I think.

no, i'm not worried for her health at this particular moment, at the most she's had 6 paracetomols, she should be ok, I'm more worried about her trying it again when I'm away from home. My sister can't cope with it on her own, and my brother definately couldn't.

brother is 14 and sister 17, my brother isn't here and I've managed to calm my sister down, we're in the middle of nowhere, there's nowhere for her to go
I would suggest you hang out there until you feel like your mom is safe. I would try to keep the panic down people can get pretty upset over relationships, she may just be having her moment. I absolutly wouldn't leave until you are sure that either your mom is okay, or that your sister can watch her to your standards (ie get her professional help immediatly if she needs it, and know when she needs it)

If you think she is physically okay right now, I would try to be supportive and see what you can gather about her mental state, she may be just really upset, or she may be so upset that she needs to spend some time in the hospital where people can watch her 24/7. I don't know where you live, but the mental wards here really aren't too bad, it actually helped me to be able to get away one time when I was suicidal, I got to be away from my family for 3 days and get myself together, it was okay to be upset there and I felt safe. I can remember how good it felt to know that I was safe, it's scary when you are thinking about hurting yourself, make sure your mom knows that you love her and that she is safe with you, eventually she will be ready to talk, just listen, don't try to fix it, be empathetic.

I will keep your family in my prayers, you can TG me if you need to.

My dad's a uni prof. so I grew up knowing the behind the scenes bits - they'll cut you some much needed slack on this, dinnae worry. Inform them now by phone (got a particular lectuter acting as a tutor/advior/mentor or similar? start with them), and get something in writing to them later on; if a doctor gets involved at any stage, explain the situation to them and get them to jot something down corroborating your situation.

If, after all, you feel in a week or so's time you're still needed at home (I'm sure things'll be better by then, but just on the offchange), taking a break till next year isn't the end of the world - that's what I had to do. It's not ideal and it's inconvenient, but it doesn't break you, you can still come through!

Best of luck, and take care of yourself :(

Family first, then the other stuff. I know you're a bit confused, probably angry and definately shaken up, but hang in there. Your mom wants help, you said she was a nurse, so I don't think it was a serious attempt at sucide, just a call for some help. When you're down and low, it seems like a good solution, but you need to listen to her now, calm her down and then, later, explain how much this hurt you and your family. Hopefully your mom will see that and will stop herself for doing anything similiar in the future.

Be strong, think of your brother and sister and mother and don't worry about university. When you get back there, the lecturers and other staff will be able to put you in touch with a support network of some kind and help you through the after effects. Right now though, just know that a lot of people here are keeping you in their thoughts and hoping every thing turns out ok.

don't go back to uni.

family is more important. or they used to be. feeling kinda suicidal myself for the first time in many months, so blah. dunno really. stay with your mum cos she's more important than uni. uni can wait another day(s) but you've only got one mum. sorry to hear about your troubles tink :(

she took something else to i called for the ambulance and they came and checked her over and looked at what she'd taken and they say she should be ok, she's with my sister now

Call your professors, explain as much of the situation as you are comfortable revealing, but at the very least, enough to make it clear that your actions aren't choices, but nessicary (doesn't matter if they are or not, the prof needs to "know" that they are). They will in general be very good about making alternate arangements.

Also, tomorrow, make sure you tell your mother you love her and that you need her. It will mean the world to her, give her a sense of importance.

feel free to TG me if you need someone to talk to about it. I've dealt with similar things a few times now, so could maybe help a bit.

Just a second on the excellent advice already given. Stay home - family is much more important, but contact your instructors and let them know what you're comfortable telling them. Coming from a college instructor (though just a lowly grad student, not a professor yet), they'll understand and work with you when you get back.

You need to think of your mom first. Your University will just have to understand. If you tell them you have an emergency (you don't have to give details) I'm sure this will be an excused abscence. It would be at my University. This is more important. If she's seriously suicidal, she needs help, and she needs it now.

It's good to hear what the paramedics said, but you should definitly still stay with your mother. She needs you now and your brother and sister probably do to.

The university will understand what is going on, just contact them. Don't lose sight of the fact that your family is more important than anything that happens there.

Keep strong. We are all here for you in any and every way we can be.

Profs aren't heartless bastards. You can e-mail them, even e-mail the essays and most will cut you slack. The ones that don't can be taken again (maybe by less heartless bastards.) You're not going to be comfortable leaving your mom alone even if she does turn out okay. She needs folks around her, especially if shes in the boonnies.

You might want to consider talking her into packing up and following you to the city where your uni is. She can get a job at the hospital and get on her feet again with you nearby. You can spend that extra week or two mulling over those options.

Does she have sisters, brothers, her own mother somewhere? They, too, can be a platform for her to stand back up on.

Really, nothing is going to help more than the fact that you haven't gone to peices-because tehn she knows she hasn't failed you because you can roll with the punches. Hang in there champ.

brother is 14 and sister 17, my brother isn't here and I've managed to calm my sister down, we're in the middle of nowhere, there's nowhere for her to go

Everyone's right about the importance of family, but please remember, Tink: you don't have to be a substitute mother. You're a sister. That's different.

Your sister at 17 is not a dependent. She may want to help more than she's doing, but not know how. Your brother, at 14, may not know just how strong he can be if he has to.

I'm not saying you should tell them, "We've gotta do this" or "Will you help me do that". That puts them outside the decision. Ask them what they can do, not what they want to do. Ask them what problems they see that need to be dealt with right now, and what they'd do about them.

You've every right to ask for their help. It's not something you have to carry on your own. You're all 'the family' and that's more than you are one by one.

Being older means you know more about the world, and so you can see more difficulties. Sometimes a person who's simply too inexperienced to see the detail of problems can go straight for the main point. Lean on anyone who'll let you!

If one of my students contacted me with a situation like this, I would obviously be very understanding and work out a solution in terms of the assignments he/she has to hand in.

Don't leave your mum alone. If the ambulance has already been and they've not taken her to hospital, and you're sure there's no-one you can leave her with for a few hours, then stay with her. Just contact your lecturers to let them know, in advance if possible.

And listen to your mother, if you feel she needs to talk. Give her a supporting ear. In situations like that, talking can help her deal with it to some degree. Just be there, supportive and listening. And give her reassurance.

Stay with your family, Tink. Your mother needs someone that not only loves her, but is strong right now. Listen to her and keep a close eye on her. I think she may need some expert help too, but stay with her at least until she is over this initial overwhelming rough spot. You brother and sister will be looking to you for a little leadership now too. Stick around, be strong and it may strengthen them as well-and they will in turn support you.
I would not leave your mother alone right now. If it were me, I would get some expert advice now.

Its better to over-react a little bit now and feel foolish later than to wait and see what happens. The stakes are simply too high.

Best wishes to you and family.

I've found it easier to speak to the dean of your department - easier than tracking down all your professors.

my mum and stepdad have had a huge row and basically they're over for good, he even swore on his kids lives that it was, my mum took 6 paracetomols on top of half a bottle of wine, i gave her salt water and so she should throw up soon, but she keeps saying stuff about letting us down, my stepdad made her, my brother and sister move out to the middle of nowhere and there's no local hospitals so she couldn't get a job (she's a nurse) so now she's no home or job or money, she says she just wants my dad back and that she hates him for dying and leaving us and how we'd be better off without her, she's asleep at the moment and I'm keeping an eye on her but I'm supposed to go back to uni tomorrow but how can I leave her like this with my brother and sister? i really don't know what to do
You need a bit of help with this, hon. Is there anyone to whom you can turn? Relatives, extended family, a local community service of some sort?

We need to talk. TG me with your messenger nickname. I can also call you if you like. You don't have to face this alone. ( HUG )

how are things today tink?

no good at giving advice but get your mum to the doctors or ring childline or something