NationStates Jolt Archive

I was sitting here thinking, and it came to me. I should make a thread about creating sequels to movies that don't have them (old DIsney movies are the best) and sharing them here.

I was thinking of this:

Mary Poppins 2.0

It starts with a set of twins from a rich family in New York playing Quake 4 and a new player joins the game and starts schooling them - Marry_Poppins. While she is kicking their ass at Quake, they get into some stupid dialogue. Then all of a sudden the next day, a strange woman appears at the door to apply for nanny services. (Maybe played by Angelina Jolie or something.) So she goes through the movie doing some stupid Disney shit like bringing the parents and the children closer together. In the process, she brings teh children around New York and runs into one of her magical hobo pals who does every single job ever (played by Robin Williams.) One day he is a computer repairman, the next day he is selling hotdogs on the corner. So at the end of the show, everyone is all happy and the kids are going out to play with their dad or something and Mary Poppins rides a moped into the sunset or something.

The Passion of Christ Part 2, Payback Time.

Jesus descends from heaven armed with a sniper rifle, silenced MP5 and an Applegate-Fairbairn fighting knife to hunt down and assasinate the descendents of the people who tortured and killed him.

I'd make a sequel to the movie "Sink the Bismarck" where they go back in time and alter reality and the Bismarck gets sunk by a fishing boat called HMS Hood2.

A sequel to Equilibrium would not be entirely unwelcomed by me.

How about a sequel to The Blair Witch Project where a bunch of feckless Gen Xers go on a murder spree without their conscious knowledge and eventually discover that video is more truthful than film? Nah, that would be just fucking dumb.

parent trap 2 (or is it 3?)


the parents have gone their seperate ways again, leaving our now not so cute twins, played by the olsen twins, no choice but to take up stripping in order to pay their way through stanford.

hilarity results when their clueless drunken father, played by kevin costner, tries to stuff dollar bills in their G-strings.

How about a sequel to The Blair Witch Project where a bunch of feckless Gen Xers go on a murder spree without their conscious knowledge and eventually discover that video is more truthful than film? Nah, that would be just fucking dumb.
Thank God they never made that.

Thank God they never made that.

Yeah, good thing they never made a sequal to Highlander either.

Yeah, good thing they never made a sequal to Highlander either.
And good thing they arn't making another sequel to Rocky where Balboa comes out of retirement to fight a guy called Mason "The Line" Dixon. That would be terrible.

parent trap 2 (or is it 3?)


the parents have gone their seperate ways again, leaving our now not so cute twins, played by the olsen twins, no choice but to take up stripping in order to pay their way through stanford.

hilarity results when their clueless drunken father, played by kevin costner, tries to stuff dollar bills in their G-strings.
But, but... Erich Kästner only wrote "Das Doppelte Lottchen" once!

Ghandi II: The Revenge

After Ghandi's twin brother got shot, Ghandi hid in a gigantic underground facility hidden under the Bollywood studios. From there he tries to blackmail the international community, threatening to broadcast a Bollywood-style love story revue with music composed by Elton John and a cast consisting entirely of Ben Kingsley clones.

But, but... Erich Kästner only wrote "Das Doppelte Lottchen" once!
well then i guess we can get jackie collins to write the sequel. she'll be able to spice it up a bit.

The Passion of Christ Part 2, Payback Time.

Jesus descends from heaven armed with a sniper rifle, silenced MP5 and an Applegate-Fairbairn fighting knife to hunt down and assasinate the descendents of the people who tortured and killed him.

With Jesus played by Arnold Scharzeneger I assume?:p

How about a sequel to Terminator? We could recast Arnie as the hero, have John as an obnoxous teenage criminal, add a corny and unneccessary sub-plot with a robot developing emotions, and bring in a new, completely non-scary morphing terminator robot!

Actually nah, that'd be awful.

How about a sequel to Terminator? We could recast Arnie as the hero, have John as an obnoxous teenage criminal, add a corny and unneccessary sub-plot with a robot developing emotions, and bring in a new, completely non-scary morphing terminator robot!

Actually nah, that'd be awful.
Isn't that what Titanic is about?

King Kong 2: King Rex- king kong didn't die, so they ship him back to the island. He gets pissed and runs around killing people, until a more pissed of tyrannosaurus kills him, the title changes, and the t-rex gets transported to Philadelphia, where it rampages through the city until it gets killed with helicopters at the Art Museum.

With Jesus played by Arnold Scharzeneger I assume?:p
No, too bulky and old. How about that guy from National Lampoon's Van Wilder, Amityville 2005, and Blade Trinity, what's his name? Uh, Ryan Reynolds according to IMDB. He could also add a comedic element to the part.

Ghandi II: The Revenge

After Ghandi's twin brother got shot, Ghandi hid in a gigantic underground facility hidden under the Bollywood studios. From there he tries to blackmail the international community, threatening to broadcast a Bollywood-style love story revue with music composed by Elton John and a cast consisting entirely of Ben Kingsley clones.

LOL, I like this one :D

"Cube 3(That'd be the fourth one cos there was a cube zero): Cubetastic!"
A bunch of strangers wake up inside the cube, which by this time is half filled with the bodies of pointless people you find it impossible to empathize with, they die in increasingly gruesome but uninventive ways until it's over and you go home feeling you've wasted your time...

This happens for another 6 movies.

Star wars episode 69: the long lost lawn mower

Jedi knights are resurected as yoda breeds with a wookie and new jedi are everywhere, two jedi get chosen for the mission of a life time, to get back the new republics only lawn mower!! in a devastating twist of teh plot it turns out "count lots of grass" took the mower and will fight to the death to keep it!! how will this epic tale turn out??

I can vaguely remember what you did a few summers back

Several horny teenagers watch "I know what you did last summer" and "I still know what you did last summer", then go on a killing spree to destroy everyone involved in the production of said films. A musical rom-zom-com-porn, fun for all the family. Certificate U.

Based on a true story.

Titanic 3: The unsurfaceable ship

Unknown to the rest of the world, a bunch of evil, hairy communists have rebuilt Titanic into a nuclear submarine, with vodka cannons. Now it is no longer the insinkable ship it's the... UNSURFACEABLE SHIP!!!

It has also been painted red, and on the side is pictures of various gardening- and carpentertools. Our hero, the tall, muscular, over-dramatic widower must save his son from a fate worse than death: A change of mind onboard the evil Titanic-sub.

The Day After the Day After Tomorrow.

Followed by A week from the day after tomorrow

Followed by A week from the day after tomorrow

Followed by "Some Length of Time After The Day After Tomorrow"

Followed by "Some Length of Time After The Day After Tomorrow"
this is starting to sound like monty python.

this is starting to sound like monty python.
Great, aint it?

The future classic: "Holy crap, has it been a year already since the day after tomorrow?"

Scooby Doo 3- The Mystery of The Dog Rapist

Great, aint it?

The future classic: "Holy crap, has it been a year already since the day after tomorrow?"
And, when all the Stars have become old people and are in homes:

What day is it?