NationStates Jolt Archive

A woman married a dolphin. WTF?

http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/i-do-dolphin/2005/12/30/1135732717451.html

"I'm not a pervert"

Oh, a krona for every time I've heard that...

http://www.thesimpsonsquotes.com/images/troythumbsup.gif

http://www.thesimpsonsquotes.com/images/troythumbsup.gif

Ironically, Phil Hartman did end up sleeping with the fishes.

I've just got "Merry Go-Round Breakdown" running in my head. Can't come up with anything else...

http://www.thesimpsonsquotes.com/images/troythumbsup.gif

You awe me with your knowledge of Simpson's trivia.

Uh....

yeah, she is. o.O

Pics.Now.

...Seriously...

...Are they serious? Is she serious?

SEE!!!??? We were warned that all this gay marriage was going to lead to people marrying their cats and so on...now we have proof that the end is nigh!

SEE!!!??? We were warned that all this gay marriage was going to lead to people marrying their cats and so on...now we have proof that the end is nigh!

It's nice to see the agenda on track.

SEE!!!??? We were warned that all this gay marriage was going to lead to people marrying their cats and so on...now we have proof that the end is nigh!

Problems?

Why should you care if she married a dolphin?

Marriage is a stupid in instatution. Who needs to go to a priest to get a liscence to fornicate now that you can fornicate legally without a liscence.

Problems?

Why should you care if she married a dolphin?

Marriage is a stupid in instatution. Who needs to go to a priest to get a liscence to fornicate now that you can fornicate legally without a liscence.
What's next? Marrying articles of clothing? Mannequins? It's unnatural!

What's next? Marrying articles of clothing? Mannequins? It's unnatural!
Oooh. I'm going to marry everything I own. Every day will be an aniversary!

Oooh. I'm going to marry everything I own. Every day will be an aniversary!
Disgusting. You make a mockery of the institution of marriage!

What's next? Marrying articles of clothing? Mannequins? It's unnatural!

Ever see two dolphins standing in front of a priest dolphin exchanging vows?

Unnatural lol please.

You can see in the wild a very natural pack mentality. If some animal looks different or is some how differnt from the rest of the pack it either gets abandoned or killed by the group. Similer things happen with the groups that gather in the buildings with the crosses on top.

Ever see two dolphins standing in front of a priest dolphin exchanging vows?

Unnatural lol please.

You can see in the wild a very natural pack mentality. If some animal looks different or is some how differnt from the rest of the pack it either gets abandoned or killed by the group. Similer things happen with the groups that gather in the buildings with the crosses on top.
We are better than animals. And we should not be condoning the union of human and mammal. Or reptile. Or whatever.

We are better than animals. And we should not be condoning the union of human and mammal. Or reptile. Or whatever.

For what reason, exactly? If you don't want to do it, feel free not to. But if somebody is happier being a sick pervert - and that same somebody is not hurting another person - then by what right to you propose to intervene?

Now that fucking dolphin will be covered by her health insurance.

She should hire a detective to watch it to make sure it is true to her and not running around with it's bottlenosed mates picking up dolphinas.

We are better than animals. And we should not be condoning the union of human and mammal. Or reptile. Or whatever.

Union? Unions are Imaginary

OK man you sound like the type I'd love to have fun with.

Have myself a unholy Bible blasphamy competition. You know cross out stuff make edits and additions as to make the Bible say things it shouldn't. Do you sorts of stuff to defame your religion just to watch you squirm.

I'd love to see you chain yourself to a gay bar door, burn a harry potter book, or have a prayer vigil when something or some one violates your sensabilities.

I'm thinking she did this to call out that bratty kid that kept saying, "If you love the dolphin so much, why don't you marry it?"

Union? Unions are Imaginary

OK man you sound like the type I'd love to have fun with.

Have myself a unholy Bible blasphamy competition. You know cross out stuff make edits and additions as to make the Bible say things it shouldn't. Do you sorts of stuff to defame your religion just to watch you squirm.

I'd love to see you chain yourself to a gay bar door, burn a harry potter book, or have a prayer vigil when something or some one violates your sensabilities.
Oh really? And what type is that? Just because I think it's unnatural and wrong for a human to marry an animal? Please.

with marriage come all kinds of benefits, like tax credits, rebates, insurance coverage...

i want to marry my cat and be assessed for income tax with it together!

Ok, I'll admit to a bit of trolling here...especially on the gay marriage issue...but in all seriousness, I don't really care if some woman figures she is married to an animal. However, sex with animals is a different issue...I don't believe they can actually give consent. Now it doesn't sound like this woman plans on consumating the marriage, so that's not really an issue.

Consenting animals, he he he

The dolphin sees the animal shrink. The shrink asks so what's your reason for seeing me. The dolphin responds with I feel violated. The lady who married me did unclean things with me.

Consenting animals, he he he

The dolphin sees the animal shrink. The shrink asks so what's your reason for seeing me. The dolphin responds with I feel violated. The lady who married me did unclean things with me.
Damn. I didn't delete fast enough:) Ah well, the gig is up. Anyway, I need to get off the damn computer and amuse my children. A little snippet of info for you, we have many legends of humans marrying animal spirits, or of being transformed into animals and returning to their families to be cared for...and I always felt sad that there was no new material for new animal/human marriage stories. I guess I needn't have worried!

I bet they are already quibbling over who their kids love more

"It's pervect!"

Sorry. Props if you know the source.

Seriously, collegehumor.com (no linky because of NSFKness) once had a link to a website describing how to "love" a dolphin. It was the most disturbing thing I ever read.

Damn. I didn't delete fast enough:) Ah well, the gig is up. Anyway, I need to get off the damn computer and amuse my children. A little snippet of info for you, we have many legends of humans marrying animal spirits, or of being transformed into animals and returning to their families to be cared for...and I always felt sad that there was no new material for new animal/human marriage stories. I guess I needn't have worried!
Exactly (and shame on you for masquerading as a Rightist parrot! Funny, though!) -- see the Tom Robbins novel Villa Incognito for a modern update of the Japanese animal-spirit-marrying-human-woman story. In this case it is Tanuki (a kind of raccoon-like dog).

"It's pervect!"

Sorry. Props if you know the source.

Seriously, collegehumor.com (no linky because of NSFKness) once had a link to a website describing how to "love" a dolphin. It was the most disturbing thing I ever read.

Pervert, Pervect, Deveel, whatever. M.Y.T.H. Inc. handles them all. (Robert Asprin rocks!)

I bet they are already quibbling over who their kids love more

Assuming of course, the kids could be born in the first place....

That'd be interesting. IMO, it's discusting (hell, I'm a religious fanatic, of course it is! :D), but I'm willing to let it slide if the babies are born and live. That'd be pretty sweet to see. :)

Assuming of course, the kids could be born in the first place....

That'd be interesting. IMO, it's discusting (hell, I'm a religious fanatic, of course it is! :D), but I'm willing to let it slide if the babies are born and live. That'd be pretty sweet to see. :)

and then do what do they name them? shoudl they go with a traditional human name, a dolphin one, or some mixture. Perhaps they should try some sort of hippie name like Sea Star or Rainbow Fish.

Then of course they will ahve to deal with all the other kids callign their kids a half breed.

What a hard life Dolphumans would live.

"I'm not a pervert"

Oh, a krona for every time I've heard that...

Somehow, Fass, I can see you have better things to do than having sex with a dolphin.

Disgusting. You make a mockery of the institution of marriage!

Yeah drunk Commies, monotheistic marriage only! Choose one pair of clothing and thats it!!!

and then do what do they name them? shoudl they go with a traditional human name, a dolphin one, or some mixture. Perhaps they should try some sort of hippie name like Sea Star or Rainbow Fish.

Then of course they will ahve to deal with all the other kids callign their kids a half breed.

What a hard life Dolphumans would live.

If they have enough they could be hired by disney for a live-action "Little Mermaid".

Somehow, Fass, I can see you have better things to do than having sex with a dolphin.

Thanks for the confidence - I have a very strict "human males of consenting age only" policy.

That was more a reference to all the guys that I've had say "I'm not a pervert, but I like [insert ridiculous thing here]." Speaking of perverts, still no piccies or links to piccie blog... *sigh*

I'd shoot her...or maybe lock her up in an asylum. I don't think the dolphin cares krill about her.

Nobody ever believes me when I say "I'm not a pervert".

Of course, usually when I am saying it is during or shortly after doing something perverted. :p

We are better than animals. And we should not be condoning the union of human and mammal. Or reptile. Or whatever.

ARE we better than animals? Animals don't electro-torture the genitals of political prisoners for kicks.

ARE we better than animals? Animals don't electro-torture the genitals of political prisoners for kicks.
Yeah, but that's only because they lack opposable thumbs necessary to attatch the alligator clips.

ARE we better than animals? Animals don't electro-torture the genitals of political prisoners for kicks. well, I think we are better then animals, I dont see them making us do tricks. I think we should buy non-dolphin safe tuna though, because Dolphins piss me off, they tried to kill me one time, true story.

Yeah, but that's only because they lack opposable thumbs necessary to attatch the alligator clips. I agree, besides have you tried electric clamps on your genitalia, goofball ? its really quite relaxing, you just cant touch anything flamable.

A woman married a dolphin. WTF?

http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/i-do-dolphin/2005/12/30/1135732717451.html

Poor dolphin.

I agree, besides have you tried electric clamps on your genitalia, goofball ? its really quite relaxing, you just cant touch anything flamable.

I've been zapped with a stun gun there. 'relaxing' is not the first word that springs to mind. :p

well, I think we are better then animals, I dont see them making us do tricks. I think we should buy non-dolphin safe tuna though, because Dolphins piss me off, they tried to kill me one time, true story.


maybe it's because you tried to make them do tricks

I've been zapped with a stun gun there. 'relaxing' is not the first word that springs to mind. :p
Its really relaxing the 3rd time you do it, you can move actually

well, I think we are better then animals, I dont see them making us do tricks. I think we should buy non-dolphin safe tuna though, because Dolphins piss me off, they tried to kill me one time, true story.

" 'Don't eat the tuna fish!'
'what?'
'Don't eat the tuna fish!'
'Why not?'
'Because dolphins get caught in the tuna nets.'
'What about the tuna fish?'
'Oh, fuck them! They taste good!' " -Denis Leary.

maybe it's because you tried to make them do tricks
No, its because the dolphins are trying to take down Earths most powerful warriors, it was just practicing on me, and besides tuna melts taste better with a bit of dolphin