NationStates Jolt Archive

Go on, ask away. Present any societal, political, or general problem with the world, and I will provide the answers, which will be indisputably correct. I am the Oracle.

How do you combine quantum mechanics and classical physics?

How do you combine quantum mechanics and classical physics?

Why is this a problem? Nobody cares anyway.

Very well. Include them in the same book.

Why is this a problem? Nobody cares anyway.

Very well. Include them in the same book.

Its important if your interested in nuclear fusion and I think it'll take more then economically publishing to solve that problem.

George Bush?

Where can I get free cigarettes?

Is it illegal/immoral to hit on my uni teacher?

Its important if your interested in nuclear fusion and I think it'll take more then economically publishing to solve that problem.

But you asked for them to be combined. Combine the entire written knowledge of Quantum mechanics and Newtonian Physics into the one book, and BAM! You've combined the two fields.

For a more in depth way to reconcile the two fields scientifically, collect all of the world's brightest physicists together and set them to work for several years in a basement, with a supercomputer, etc. Lock the door and feed them through a dumb waiter. They can leave when they have the solution. We'll have the answer in a few years.

Go on, ask away. Present any societal, political, or general problem with the world, and I will provide the answers, which will be indisputably correct. I am the Oracle.The answer is too kill everybody. No people, no problems.
It's only people that make a problem of things anyway..

Is it illegal/immoral to hit on my uni teacher?

Depends, how hot is she?

George Bush?

There are several options:

1. Wait a couple of years.

2. Convince the American electorate to force congress to remove him from power.

3. Convince the American people to have a bloody coup/revolution/civil war.

4. Find a mentally unstable person, plant a small transmitter inside their ear without their knowledge, tell them to kill him through said tranmitter, and give them a gun.

The answer is too kill everybody. No people, no problems.
It's only people that make a problem of things anyway..

Wrong, there will inevitably be one person left. And that person will have to commit suicide. When someone commits suicide, that's a problem.

And there's the fact that not everyone will want to participate in that plan. That's a problem too.

The answer is too kill everybody. No people, no problems.
It's only people that make a problem of things anyway..

YES! YES! Exactly! It's almost like me in my Angst Thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=452201)!
A soulmate, finally! :fluffle:



And to Kanabia - how should we, Damor and I, get this Operation: Deleted Human Kind done?

Where can I get free cigarettes?

Scour cigarette butt bins. You are guaranteed to find enough small scraps of tobacco to satisfy your needs.

Depends, how hot is she?

HE is.. hmm... a seven out of ten.

Is it illegal/immoral to hit on my uni teacher?

Of course not, provided you are both consenting adults. (I would assume so, being a uni student and all)

You've got the answer to all the world's questions, but you can't find 500 bucks for a plane ticket?

How credible is that ? :p

You've got the answer to all the world's questions, but you can't find 500 bucks for a plane ticket?

How credible is that ? :p

I could find it, it's just the method I find distasteful.

I'm sure being a gigolo isn't all it's cracked up to be.

:p

Wrong, there will inevitably be one person left. And that person will have to commit suicide. When someone commits suicide, that's a problem.Only if there is someone left to make a problem out of it, contradicting the presupposition that there isn't.
Besides, the last one would die in due time of it's own accord.

And to Kanabia - how should we, Damor and I, get this Operation: Deleted Human Kind done?

Steal/buy a nuclear bomb from a Russian stockpile and spraypaint "Made in China" on the side. Plant it in Taipei, somewhere. Set bomb.

HE is.. hmm... a seven out of ten.

Damn, my stereotyping lets me down yet again.

*offers cookie by way of apology*

Why do people procrastinate?

Only if there is someone left to make a problem out of it, contradicting the presupposition that there isn't.
Besides, the last one would die in due time of it's own accord.

*sigh*

Very well, your idea is correct, but the means of implementing it is a problem in itself. In attempting to solve problems, it is unacceptable to create more in the process- *Unless* I said it was okay. So there.

The answer to eliminating world problems is to keep people in little cells and never ever teach them what the hell a problem is.

Why do people procrastinate?

Because it's fun.

The answer to eliminating world problems is to keep people in little cells and never ever teach them what the hell a problem is.

No. Someone has to keep them in the cells and such. And that's a problem in itself, because who feeds them? Etc.

No. Someone has to keep them in the cells and such. And that's a problem in itself, because who feeds them? Etc.

Just put them in there and STOP FEEDING. Mwahmwah.

No. Someone has to keep them in the cells and such. And that's a problem in itself, because who feeds them? Etc.Robots.
Ok, ok, that's another problem, because we first have to make them. But I'm sure we're nearly there.

*offers cookie by way of apology*

*accepts cookie, offers a cup of tea in return*

Because it's fun.

Why do they keep procrastinating even when it's not fun anymore?

Go on, ask away. Present any societal, political, or general problem with the world, and I will provide the answers, which will be indisputably correct. I am the Oracle.
oh oracle, can you make my gf 18 (hell i'd settle for 16) so i can go be with her right now.

either that or tell me where i put my p0rn collection ;)

oh oracle, can you make my gf 18 (hell i'd settle for 16) so i can go be with her right now.

either that or tell me where i put my p0rn collection ;)

How old are you?

How old are you?
20.
why?

she's 15 - almost 16 - before you ask (if i guess your line of questioning correctly)

20.
why?

she's 15 - almost 16 - before you ask (if i guess your line of questioning correctly)

Take it easy there! You know, this could have legal problems but there is a solution to your problem. If you take the theory of time travel and lightspeed (which is the idea that you can go through time if you could go faster than the speed of light without aging or aging much slower than normal) than it would be possible. However, you would have to go that speed for a short period in order to get her to the age you desire.:fluffle:

Why do they keep procrastinating even when it's not fun anymore?

Because it's probably still a lot more fun than what you should be doing. :)

oh oracle, can you make my gf 18 (hell i'd settle for 16) so i can go be with her right now.

either that or tell me where i put my p0rn collection ;)

I can't make things happen. I can give solutions to problems, but you must act on them :p

Now, there are several solutions to your predicament. But the most wise is getting the age of consent lowered to 15 through some masterful oration and endless lobbying to members of parliament.

Another option is moving to a country where the age of consent is 15 or lower. :)

As for your porn, why bother looking for it? Just use the internet. It is a porn paradise.

How do I get my hands on the launch codes of the world's nuclear arsenal?
New Year's coming up and I want to make this Sylvester's fireworks extra special!
(to the men in black: j/k!)

How do I get my hands on the launch codes of the world's nuclear arsenal?Ask nicely ;)

Because it's probably still a lot more fun than what you should be doing. :)



I can't make things happen. I can give solutions to problems, but you must act on them :p

Now, there are several solutions to your predicament. But the most wise is getting the age of consent lowered to 15 through some masterful oration and endless lobbying to members of parliament.

Another option is moving to a country where the age of consent is 15 or lower. :)

As for your porn, why bother looking for it? Just use the internet. It is a porn paradise.


Canada's age of consent is 14 I think.

Though, people under 18 can't have sex with people over 18...I think.

Ask nicely ;)
I did! What do I do now?

Take it easy there! You know, this could have legal problems but there is a solution to your problem. If you take the theory of time travel and lightspeed (which is the idea that you can go through time if you could go faster than the speed of light without aging or aging much slower than normal) than it would be possible. However, you would have to go that speed for a short period in order to get her to the age you desire.:fluffle:
ok, thanks :)
*starts up transwarp drive*

*melts*



I can't make things happen. I can give solutions to problems, but you must act on them :p

Now, there are several solutions to your predicament. But the most wise is getting the age of consent lowered to 15 through some masterful oration and endless lobbying to members of parliament.

Another option is moving to a country where the age of consent is 15 or lower. :)
nah sounds like too much effort. i'll just wait till march :P
but its not that really... the real problem is her living with her parents and me being 20. tell you what, you make me 16 again and it'll all be good, ok? :p
and yes you can make things happen. you're the oracle - you helped make the matrix didn't you? ;)

As for your porn, why bother looking for it? Just use the internet. It is a porn paradise.
done and done :D

Canada's age of consent is 14 I think.

Though, people under 18 can't have sex with people over 18...I think.

Not even a 17 year old and a 19 year old?

I think most places allow for special circumstances when both parties are under 21. Hey, he could just cross into France for a night or two and find a cheap hotel. Their age is 15.

Not even a 17 year old and a 19 year old?

I think most places allow for special circumstances when both parties are under 21. Hey, he could just cross into France for a night or two and find a cheap hotel. Their age is 15.

Something like that. Maybe 19 and 17, but say...40 and 14 may be stretching it.

and yes you can make things happen. you're the oracle - you helped make the matrix didn't you? ;)

Perhaps I can, but it's really a matter of not being willing to. ;)

Something like that. Maybe 19 and 17, but say...40 and 14 may be stretching it.

Ugh. Yes, yes it would be.

I did! What do I do now?Have you tried puppydog eyes?

Perhaps I can, but it's really a matter of not being willing to. ;)
lazy oracle *hits with rolled up newspaper*


you might make the architect angry... and he might, you know, start speaking utter shit to you again :eek:

Because it's probably still a lot more fun than what you should be doing. :)

True. :)


So, here's another earth-shattering dilemma for the Almighty Kanabian Oracle to solve:

When will my apartment finally learn to clean itself?


Also:

Why do stupid people never realize they're stupid?

And don't give me the lazy ol' "Because they're stupid!" or I'll borrow PM's rolled up newspaper... *makes threatening oracle-swatting gestures*

Have you tried puppydog eyes?
Yup! And I said pretty-please, with sugar on top.

Man, I just wanna http://www.gifs.net/animate/push_smiley_w.gif

Yup! And I said pretty-please, with sugar on top.Damn.. That usually works.
Well, I'm out of ideas, maybe Kanabia will come up with some, it's his thread after all.

So, here's another earth-shattering dilemma for the Almighty Kanabian Oracle to solve:

When will my apartment finally learn to clean itself?

It won't. I suggest you don't bother, anyway. I ask you: What benefit is there in a clean room/apartment that makes it worth the effort it takes to clean it in the first place?


Also:

Why do stupid people never realize they're stupid?

And don't give me the lazy ol' "Because they're stupid!" or I'll borrow PM's rolled up newspaper... *makes threatening oracle-swatting gestures*

Because stupid is "normal". If you're normal, you don't tend to consciously observe the fact that you're normal, do you? You're not standing out in any way from the rest of society. :p

Damn.. That usually works.
Well, I'm out of ideas, maybe Kanabia will come up with some, it's his thread after all.

How do I get my hands on the launch codes of the world's nuclear arsenal?
New Year's coming up and I want to make this Sylvester's fireworks extra special!

Kidnap and torture the people who have them until they give them to you.

What, you're online again already? When do you sleep?

Because stupid is "normal". If you're normal, you don't tend to consciously observe the fact that you're normal, do you? :p
I was about to say that's BS but you may actually be on to something. Hmm.

It won't. I suggest you don't bother, anyway. I ask you: What benefit is there in a clean room/apartment that makes it worth the effort it takes to clean it in the first place?
You ask me? Nu-uh, we can't have that. You wanted to be the oracle, you answer the questions. So there.

What, you're online again already? When do you sleep?

During the day. I'm nocturnal. :p

I was about to say that's BS but you may actually be on to something. Hmm.

Of course. I know all.

You ask me? Nu-uh, we can't have that. You wanted to be the oracle, you answer the questions. So there.

*sigh*

The correct answer would be absolutely none. Bah. You mortals annoy me sometimes. I demand offerings!

During the day.
Wait, I thought during the day the oracle was busy bagging groceries at the evil place where they made him cut his hair to a mushroomy mop? Must be another oracle I'm thinking of.


I demand offerings!
How about one uncleaned apartment? Here, you can have it.

Wait, I thought during the day the oracle was busy bagging groceries at the evil place where they made him cut his hair to a mushroomy mop? Must be another oracle I'm thinking of.

Ah, yes, but I don't work full time. (And I usually work at night anyway).

Lately, they've been giving all the shifts to the younger kids who cost less to pay, so i've been stuck at home with nothing to do. :p

How about one uncleaned apartment? Here, you can have it.

Deal. You can sleep on the floor.

Two questions:


This is the answer?

and

Fifteen and a half?

Did the Germans really steal the T-34's design to make the Panther?
How does the above question constitute a world problem?

Tis a sad day when Kanabia is an Oracle.

i'm all modest and have only 2 questions.

a) what the hell sparked thsi thread? and

b) what will make this blasphemy end?

Kidnap and torture the people who have them until they give them to you.
That is definitely not an option. And I don't torture, I don't let torture, nore do I condone torture in any way. Torture sucks.

And remember, time if of the essence here: I just want to launch the world's nuclear arsenal tomorrow at midnight CET, nothing more, nothing less...

http://www.civfanatics.net/uploads6/preview_ICBMBomb.gif

Will my math teacher resign this year due to mental problems? He almost cried when he saw the last results of my class :D

You can sleep on the floor.
Think, man. If there was actually room on the floor for someone to sleep between all the clutter, I wouldn't be giving the apartment away in the first place. Sheesh. Calling himself an oracle, too.:p




a) what the hell sparked thsi thread?
Well, I could guess:
i've been stuck at home with nothing to do.

:p

How is it I get stuck with all said stupid people, when I'm the only one with a large amount of knowledge in astrophysics, particle physics, biology, pshychology, zoology, quantum physics, AND Red Skelton?

How the HECK do I restart the Soviet Union, bipolar world, make WARPAC stronger than ever, add China, make a new arms race, destroy all nuclear treaties, and end the War on Terror?

Where is the Football and the Nuke cards (Where is the Nuke Breifcase and Codes?)?

How do I become President/Dictator/Tyrant for life of the USA and USSR and China and Europe?

Go on, ask away. Present any societal, political, or general problem with the world, and I will provide the answers, which will be indisputably correct. I am the Oracle.
Is this going to cost me?

Oops, is that question and this current clarifying question (and the next two) going to cost me?

Can i get the answer(s) from you and then go back in time to stop myself from asking them and it won't cost me any $?

And if i could do that, couldn't i also read the whole thread and find the answers first and provide them to you for a nominal fee?

Also, how do i convince my wife/her mother/her sister that along with her acceptance of matrimony she also accepted my religion's inclusive sexual preferences, and that they aren't inherently humiliating?

....and if a gal eats a pound of pasta and a pound of antipasto, do the two cancel each other out, leaving the eater hungry and dissatisfied?

Here's another question: Why does the great oracle not satisfatorily answer the question?
I will give you 6+ billion offerings once I get the right answer. How's that for a start?

Here's a question:

Do a band of Midgets live under my bed, ploting to over throw the Chilean government?

Cause I could sworn I heard something down there the other night...

That is definitely not an option. And I don't torture, I don't let torture, nore do I condone torture in any way. Torture sucks.

And remember, time if of the essence here: I just want to launch the world's nuclear arsenal tomorrow at midnight CET, nothing more, nothing less...

That's your problem. I told you how to get them, and if you're unwilling to do so, well, tough biscuits.


This is the answer?

That was the question?

Fifteen and a half?

That's a bit too big. About seven and a half.

Did the Germans really steal the T-34's design to make the Panther?

Yes, quite obviously.

How does the above question constitute a world problem?

It doesn't.

Tis a sad day when Kanabia is an Oracle.

*uses divine powers to give you a permanent erection*

There. Enjoy your future visits out into the public.

i'm all modest and have only 2 questions.

a) what the hell sparked thsi thread? and

b) what will make this blasphemy end?

A) I've been stuck at home with nothing to do.

B) Nothing.

Think, man. If there was actually room on the floor for someone to sleep between all the clutter, I wouldn't be giving the apartment away in the first place. Sheesh. Calling himself an oracle, too.:p

Bah. You can sleep on *top* of the clutter. Duh. :rolleyes: :p

Will my math teacher resign this year due to mental problems? He almost cried when he saw the last results of my class :D

Oh my. No, but he will spend the year after, and many more, in prison. I best not tell you why, but let's just say, you shall never walk the same again.

How is it I get stuck with all said stupid people, when I'm the only one with a large amount of knowledge in astrophysics, particle physics, biology, pshychology, zoology, quantum physics, AND Red Skelton?

How the HECK do I restart the Soviet Union, bipolar world, make WARPAC stronger than ever, add China, make a new arms race, destroy all nuclear treaties, and end the War on Terror?

Where is the Football and the Nuke cards (Where is the Nuke Breifcase and Codes?)?

How do I become President/Dictator/Tyrant for life of the USA and USSR and China and Europe?

A) Everyone else has to deal with them, so you do too.

B) Start a stalinist revolution in Russia and invade Eastern Europe. Then publicly void the treaties. The western world will have bigger problems than the war on terror then and it will end.

C) With the person who looks after them.

D) By convincing enough people to support you.

Is this going to cost me?

Not in material worth.

Also, how do i convince my wife/her mother/her sister that along with her acceptance of matrimony she also accepted my religion's inclusive sexual preferences, and that they aren't inherently humiliating?

By showing her that your religion is really a good thing and making her join of her own free will.

....and if a gal eats a pound of pasta and a pound of antipasto, do the two cancel each other out, leaving the eater hungry and dissatisfied?

No, they don't.

Here's another question: Why does the great oracle not satisfatorily answer the question?
I will give you 6+ billion offerings once I get the right answer. How's that for a start?

But i've given you the correct answer. If you aren't satisfied by the truth, the Oracle cannot help you.

Here's a question:

Do a band of Midgets live under my bed, ploting to over throw the Chilean government?

Cause I could sworn I heard something down there the other night...

No. No midgets.

how do i achieve popularity?

How do you combine quantum mechanics and classical physics?

Meh, bugger that; better question is; finally prove the string theory that'll finally replace the two diametrically opposing ideas of the world - Einstein's 'god doesn't place die with the universe theory' coupled with the quantum theory of 'everything is goes from order to chaos'.

Not in material worth.
If you mean my soul (haha) then i guess it's tough tittie, since i don't have any real wealth to speak of ... other than B.O. and skin flakes. ...WAIT, are we talking using my DNA? I've got patent on the aberrations. And yes, they DO make up a significant portion.



By showing her that your religion is really a good thing and making her join of her own free will.

Do you mean, like, liquor, subliminal messages and impromptu "stress" massages? Well what should i give her/them then, the same?

No, they don't.
Hmmm. Kind of like when i put my humidifier in the same locked room as my dehumidifier, and let the two of them fight it out.
Turns out, the humidifier won (just barely ... damned physics)
so as a reward i filled it up w/wax. Now my room's all shiny.

BTW, i've done the double-stuffing of this gal, and she hadn't been dissatisfied before *BELIEVE ME* so i guess that further qualifies your answer.
Thanks!

Tick, tock!

Go on, ask away. Present any societal, political, or general problem with the world, and I will provide the answers, which will be indisputably correct. I am the Oracle.
Okay... why do people think oracles are intended to be indisputably correct?

The answer is too kill everybody. No people, no problems.
It's only people that make a problem of things anyway..

thank you Mr. Stalin

how do i achieve popularity?

By having a likeable personality, a good sense of humour, and all around awesomeness.

If you mean my soul (haha) then i guess it's tough tittie, since i don't have any real wealth to speak of ... other than B.O. and skin flakes. ...WAIT, are we talking using my DNA? I've got patent on the aberrations. And yes, they DO make up a significant portion.

You shall find out in due course, pitiful mortal.

Do you mean, like, liquor, subliminal messages and impromptu "stress" massages? Well what should i give her/them then, the same?

Meh, that works. There are other ways too, such as emotional domination, but i'll leave you to figure them out.

BTW, i've done the double-stuffing of this gal, and she hadn't been dissatisfied before *BELIEVE ME* so i guess that further qualifies your answer.
Thanks!

You're welcome.

Okay... why do people think oracles are intended to be indisputably correct?

Because I am, and I constantly prove it. For the record, I am not "an oracle", I am "The Oracle". There is a difference.

ok, how do we get world peace?

Dragonis-beta']ok, how do we get world peace?

Even I can answer this one. Nuke the whole world and screw us over by releasing every disease known to man upon the world, and use as many chemicals as possible to just irraditate humanity. Like Damor said before- no people, no problems.

A less ultimate way would be to draw aliens to invade which would cause the world to forget racism and all that jazz against each other and focus all this hate against something new i.e. non humans. After we win(or are enslaved, either way) we'll have world peace until the first of the world leaders start dying or losing power. So we'll have world peace for probably ten years or so.

But of course, this is only the idea of a mere mortal. Whereas, the great Oracle knows all.

I forget who asked earlier, but on procrastination, two things:
1. All humans are inherently lazy
2. A saying one of my cousins once told me- "Procrastination is like masturbation, it's fun while you're doing it, but in the end, you know you just screwed yourself"

Even I can answer this one.

DO NOT ANSWER FOR THE ORACLE. EVER.

Dragonis-beta']ok, how do we get world peace?

Now that that unpleasantness has been dealt with...

Achieving world peace is really quite a simple matter. The leaders of the world must be convinced to eliminate all military spending and embrace internationalism for the good of all.

That, and the people of the world must be made to realise the futility of patriotism and embrace their fellow human beings.

Accomplish these things, and you have world peace.

Well, here's a tough one:
What am I doing wrong with my life?

Well, here's a tough one:
What am I doing wrong with my life?

Well, your first mistake is thinking that your life is "wrong" in some way. What do you feel is "wrong" about it?

Well, your first mistake is thinking that your life is "wrong" in some way. What do you feel is "wrong" about it?

Let's see... I was born. I guess that was my first mistake ;)

Right now, I feel that I'm way to emotional about things that aren't really that important, but I can't seem to stop.
Would you suggest medication?

Let's see... I was born. I guess that was my first mistake ;)

Right now, I feel that I'm way to emotional about things that aren't really that important, but I can't seem to stop.
Would you suggest medication?

No. Find something that you enjoy and that relaxes you. Take up a hobby. Get time to yourself.

No. Find something that you enjoy and that relaxes you. Take up a hobby. Get time to yourself.

No, I think that's the last thing I need. Time for myself means time to think... and that's never any good.

No, I think that's the last thing I need. Time for myself means time to think... and that's never any good.

I don't mean sitting in a room with nothing to do but think. Make time for yourself, not other people. Do something you enjoy. "time to yourself" doesn't exclude bringing a friend, mind you. Just do something that you'll enjoy - something of your own accord. And make it a habit. Make Fridays your night to go out, or something. Find a new hobby, or something. The real world can get amazingly droll at times. Sometimes you need to get away from personal problems...on a side note, I suspect that's why some people waste so much time on this forum.

.



You shall find out in due course, pitiful mortal.

Ya know YOU *aren't* the first entity i've offered monetary equity of my soul to. You'd think a f*cking oracle would know that.

Pity's already spent.
"In God we Trust ... all others must pay cash"

Ya know YOU *aren't* the first entity i've offered monetary equity of my soul to. You'd think a f*cking oracle would know that.

Pity's already spent.
"In God we Trust ... all others must pay cash"

The difference is, fool, that i'm the first one with any merit.

Well, your first mistake is thinking that your life is "wrong" in some way. What do you feel is "wrong" about it?
No forty-year-old men ... :(

The difference is, that i'm the first one with any merit.
M'kay ... you mean by your own credit? I guess for having answers so easy it kinda bereaves you of introspection and critical comparison, hence ignorance of my last post ... but as an answer to YOU, i'm not giving you that credit. You're tapped.
Besides, you're WAY in the back of the line for "oracle" capacity. Just ask Oedipus Rex. At least Sophocles had a better sense of humour.
One more question then, as an oracle, in not having any sense of possibility (as is the nature of accurate prognostication) do you not also in the exact same sense completely lack comparative judgment?

No forty-year-old men ... :(

Erm.... why do I get this eerie big-brother-is-watching-you-feeling all of a sudden?

Erm.... why do I get this eerie big-brother-is-watching-you-feeling all of a sudden?
It's okay, so long as that big brother is the right age and capability, i guess. ;)

Wait, did you expect to feel differently on a thread regarding oracles?

It's okay, so long as that big brother is the right age and capability, i guess. ;)

Wait, did you expect to feel differently on a thread regarding oracles?

*lol

So what type of big brother would you be, then?

M'kay ... you mean by your own credit? I guess for having answers so easy it kinda bereaves you of introspection and critical comparison, hence ignorance of my last post ... but as an answer to YOU, i'm not giving you that credit. You're tapped.
Besides, you're WAY in the back of the line for "oracle" capacity. Just ask Oedipus Rex. At least Sophocles had a better sense of humour.
One more question then, as an oracle, in not having any sense of possibility (as is the nature of accurate prognostication) do you not also in the exact same sense completely lack comparative judgment?

I simply choose not to waste my boundless talents on one so ignorant and insignificant as yourself. If you choose to mock the Oracle, I shall not dignify you with a response in the future.

However, worm, you misunderstand the nature of The Oracle. You will note that my observations and solutions are not prognosticative, but in fact I have often presented several solutions to an end goal presented to me. The Oracle recognises that the future is not set in stone, and each of my proposed solutions to problems presented to me have been indisputably correct - if the intermediaries, being mere mortals, are able to see them through to their logical conclusions.

I simply choose not to waste my boundless talents on one so ignorant and insignificant as yourself. If you choose to mock the Oracle, I shall not dignify you with a response in the future.
Sure you will. That's the whole function of an oracle, sans ego. You can't hurt their feelings.


However, worm, you misunderstand the nature of The Oracle. You will note that my observations and solutions are not prognosticative, but in fact I have often presented several solutions to an end goal presented to me. The Oracle recognises that the future is not set in stone, and each of my proposed solutions to problems presented to me have been indisputably correct - if the intermediaries, being mere mortals, are able to see them through to their logical conclusions.
Keen. You apparently don't know (understand) the difference between an oracle and a counselor. I'm glad i could help you clarify that. Good answer though. ;)
As for "worm" .... okay, what's the safety word? Banana? ;)
Don't use action words unless you have the moxy to back 'em up. You're only at Initiate right now, not Harem Master.
A more specific question then that can't be misconstrued by human *OR* sub-human intellect, so we're both covered here ... did Bush fail his drug screening for his last year of "service" in the guard and therefore was removed from flight duty, or not? And if not, what was the actual reason?

Arrgh did this man, Stecker von Büschel die of the plague ?

*lol

So what type of big brother would you be, then?
Uhm, the kind that knows that the parents paddle for punitive reasons, just enough not to hurt.
Big brothers aren't so limited, persay. ;)

It's 2 something am here, and i gots things IRL i gotsa do on the morrow, so i'll tab up later.
Night y'all.

Sure you will. That's the whole function of an oracle, sans ego. You can't hurt their feelings.

Keen. You apparently don't know (understand) the difference between an oracle and a counselor. I'm glad i could help you clarify that. Good answer though. ;)
As for "worm" .... okay, what's the safety word? Banana? ;)
Don't use action words unless you have the moxy to back 'em up. You're only at Initiate right now, not Harem Master.
A more specific question then that can't be misconstrued by human *OR* sub-human intellect, so we're both covered here ... did Bush fail his drug screening for his last year of "service" in the guard and therefore was removed from flight duty, or not? And if not, what was the actual reason?

Bah, you are a pathetic imbecile. I've already clarified that I am not "an oracle", I am THE ORACLE. All who came before me have been unworthy of the title. Anyone can sit in a room full of noxious fumes and claim to be able to see the future while making no sense whatsoever. I am The Oracle. I tell things as they are. My answers are not necessarily ambiguous in contrast to my false predecessors, but they are all indisputably correct. If you disagree, you are wrong.

As for your question, again your ignorance shows through, apparently being unable to distinguish between asking for solutions to a problem and asking for historical clarification. I can give you a solution, which is my intended purpose: To reach the answer to your question, you must contact those who were involved with the incident and convince them to tell you the truth - alternatively, you could requisition the services of someone who would be able to contact these people and investigate on your behalf.

How to fight the domination of M$ and achieve Linux World Domination?

How to fight the domination of M$ and achieve Linux World Domination?

Easy. Produce a product that is superior in all ways at a lower cost, coupled with a mass-market push and the endorsement of said product by several major public personalities.

Not even a 17 year old and a 19 year old?

I think most places allow for special circumstances when both parties are under 21. Hey, he could just cross into France for a night or two and find a cheap hotel. Their age is 15.

Actually, the problem lies with the parents. If you are under 16, you can not have sex without the consent of the parents. so...the parents are the final problem. Sorry.:headbang:

Didn't you already have an 'Ask the Oracle' thread?

Bah, you are a pathetic imbecile. I've already clarified that I am not "an oracle", I am THE ORACLE. All who came before me have been unworthy of the title. Anyone can sit in a room full of noxious fumes and claim to be able to see the future while making no sense whatsoever. I am The Oracle. I tell things as they are. My answers are not necessarily ambiguous in contrast to my false predecessors, but they are all indisputably correct. If you disagree, you are wrong.

Well, you're wrong on two counts here ... and note, this IS dispute ...
One: Your advice regarding my in-laws was basically wrong and unfruitful. The right thing to do was to change my religion. I agree, so i did.
Besides, not much changed in that regard - they're all pretty much the same, give and take.
Two: You give no answer to Bush's '72 - '73 record, which lends ambiguity and untrustworthiness to your veracity as "an" or "the" oracle.
Therefore leading to dispute.

As for your question, again your ignorance shows through, apparently being unable to distinguish between asking for solutions to a problem and asking for historical clarification.
You said pretty clearly that you have the answers to all the world's problems. Right there AS THE THREAD TITLE. My problem is a lot of people lost their jobs and respect over material which couldn't be disputed, and only the manner of presenting it was. That is familiar to your above line about being unable to distinguish ... ;) Anyway, it presents a problem which needs to be rectified. So far, you're not so hot.
Oh yeah, btw, you are in a position to declare anyone ignorant if they ask you a question. *poke* Even if they already know the answer!!
I can give you a solution, which is my intended purpose: To reach the answer to your question, you must contact those who were involved with the incident and convince them to tell you the truth - alternatively, you could requisition the services of someone who would be able to contact these people and investigate on your behalf.
Well, that i don't have much of a problem with, really.
Hmmm, it seems to me ...
If you choose to mock the Oracle, I shall not dignify you with a response in the future.
Now, given you responded, time for "the Oracle" to ask one question ... can you guess what it is? ;)

2. A saying one of my cousins once told me- "Procrastination is like masturbation, it's fun while you're doing it, but in the end, you know you just screwed yourself"
Heh. True.

Didn't you already have an 'Ask the Orcle' thread?
:eek:


Question for The Oracle:

Why do animals always have an even number of legs? Why always 2, 4, 6, or 8? Why never 1, 3, 5, 7, or 9?

Question for The Oracle:

Why do animals always have an even number of legs? Why always 2, 4, 6, or 8? Why never 1, 3, 5, 7, or 9?
That's an easy one. At birth, they all have 3, 5, 7 or 9 legs, but one is always ripped off by a cunning doctor (or for animals in the wild, just ripped off). With all the crap and filth everywhere, no one notices a bit of blood.
They then save the extra legs in case someone is born with too few legs.
What about starfish, anyway? They have any number between 3 and <a very big number>

That's an easy one. At birth, they all have 3, 5, 7 or 9 legs, but one is always ripped off by a cunning doctor (or for animals in the wild, just ripped off). With all the crap and filth everywhere, no one notices a bit of blood.
They then save the extra legs in case someone is born with too few legs.
What about starfish, anyway? They have any number between 3 and <a very big number>

Sigh. See, my first version of the question actually included a piece on how the answer better not mention either "centipedes", "millipedes", or - wait for it - anything to do with "ripping off" or "pulling out". So, while your theory holds a certain intrigue, if not exactly for the faint of heart, no Oracle Cookies for you.

Also, hello, starfish? Arms, buddy, arms. Though the <very big number> made me laugh.:)

Where is Prometheous bound?

Ned Flanders:
Science is like a blabber mouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends. Well I say that there are some thing we don't wanna know. Important things!

Ned: ...and Harry Potter and all his wizard friends went straight down to hell for practicing witchcraft.
Rod and Todd: YAY!!!!

% At the roulette wheel, Homer tries to figure out on which number to
% bet.

Homer: Let's see, what's Marge's birthday? Barney is April
twentieth, same as Hitler's, so Marge must be fifty ...
oh, forget it. Flanders, what's your birthday?
Ned: Aw, leave me out of this, Homer. Games of chance are
strictly forbidden by Deuteronomy 7.
Homer: Seven, eh?
[Homer places his chips on seven; the ball lands in the
seven slot]
Homer: Way to go, Flanders! The Bible's finally pulling its
weight. Got any more holy numbers?
Ned: Oh, I got a bunch, Homer, but I just don't feel right.
Oh, Lord, what should I do?
[Ned looks up at the ceiling, staring at a black bubble
camera which quietly says "Keep gaming"]
Ned: What?
Security Man: [speaking through bubble] It means gambling. Keep
gambling.
Ned: Oh! Righty-O!
-- A sign from above, "Viva Ned Flanders"

--

and of course, FUTURAMA, Godfellas

Ohhh. I am your friend, Bonder.

Fry: Bonder? Is it really you?

Fortune teller: Yes. I am fine. Give the gypsy ten dollars.

Fry: Wait a minute. Bender's name isn't Bonder, it's Bender. You're a fraud.

Fortune teller: Look, you want false hope or not?

Fry: Only if you don't have any real hope.

Where is Prometheous bound?

Um, he was bound to (on? at?) the Caucasus, methinks. But I'm no oracle so never mind me.

doing my hw and came up w/one q for the oracle: What is 6 x 9?
i checked my math book, which said its 54, but Douglas Adams seems to imply that the answer is 42. I'm not sure which to believe...

oh magic and bountiful oracle, will i ever leave the social black hole and grow some to ask someone out?
*shakes kanabia*
hmph. this ones not working anymore
*shakes again*
*shakes*
*shakes repeatedly*
damn oracle.

No. No midgets.

Damnit!

So what is under my bed anyways and is it ploting to overthrow a foreign government?

Didn't you already have an 'Ask the Oracle' thread?

Yeah, but another can't hurt, can it? Seeing as gravedigs are "NAUGHTAY!" and such.

Well, you're wrong on two counts here ... and note, this IS dispute ...
One: Your advice regarding my in-laws was basically wrong and unfruitful. The right thing to do was to change my religion. I agree, so i did.
Besides, not much changed in that regard - they're all pretty much the same, give and take.

You asked me, and I quote:

Also, how do i convince my wife/her mother/her sister that along with her acceptance of matrimony she also accepted my religion's inclusive sexual preferences, and that they aren't inherently humiliating?

The correct answer to that is:


By showing her that your religion is really a good thing and making her join of her own free will.

Now, if I had told you to "change your religion", I would not have answered the original question- you asked me how to convince her to accept your religious principles. And I did.

Two: You give no answer to Bush's '72 - '73 record, which lends ambiguity and untrustworthiness to your veracity as "an" or "the" oracle.

And I clarified that. I'm an advice source, not a historical compendium.

Therefore leading to dispute.

Valueless dispute. You are incorrect.


You said pretty clearly that you have the answers to all the world's problems. Right there AS THE THREAD TITLE. My problem is a lot of people lost their jobs and respect over material which couldn't be disputed, and only the manner of presenting it was. That is familiar to your above line about being unable to distinguish ... ;) Anyway, it presents a problem which needs to be rectified. So far, you're not so hot.

I am happy to give you advice on how to find it out. I cannot give solutions to problems. I can only equip you with the means to find them yourself. I do have the answers to all the world's problems - I cannot however, implement them myself. Giving you direct information would contradict this. Do you follow me?

CERTAIN questions of this nature which have no other direct path to the answer and do not have any significant historical or future consequences from their knowledge are acceptable. It's a tricky situation, really. It depends strongly on the wording of your question.

Oh yeah, btw, you are in a position to declare anyone ignorant if they ask you a question. *poke* Even if they already know the answer!!

It's great, isn't it? :)


Now, given you responded, time for "the Oracle" to ask one question ... can you guess what it is? ;)

Yes, I certainly do have the ability to guess.


Will answer the rest later...

Why do animals always have an even number of legs? Why always 2, 4, 6, or 8? Why never 1, 3, 5, 7, or 9?

This is not the Oracle's field of expertise, not being a real-world "problem" per se, but whatever. Some modern scientists would hold that it is the tendency for amino acids to form symmetrical protein chains.

Although not all animals have an even number of legs. You fail to account for birth defects. Learn, young one.

Where is Prometheous bound?

I don't know this Prometheous you speak of, is he a greek wrestler or something?

If you mean Prometheus, the answer is Pluto.

doing my hw and came up w/one q for the oracle: What is 6 x 9?
i checked my math book, which said its 54, but Douglas Adams seems to imply that the answer is 42. I'm not sure which to believe...

Simple. 6 x 9 appears to be a mathematical problem. That's what it is.

oh magic and bountiful oracle, will i ever leave the social black hole and grow some to ask someone out?
*shakes kanabia*
hmph. this ones not working anymore
*shakes again*
*shakes*
*shakes repeatedly*
damn oracle.

Not if you keep shaking people. In fact, i've decided to take two years from your lifespan out of spite. NEVER SHAKE THE ORACLE.

So what is under my bed anyways and is it ploting to overthrow a foreign government?

It's not really plotting anything. It's a simple matter to find out what it is. Just poke a broomstick underneath your bed, preferably while a couple of metres out of reach or perched atop a high object.

Now, if I had told you to "change your religion", I would not have answered the original question- you asked me how to convince her to accept your religious principles. And I did.
And that's where i told you you were wrong. She wouldn't. It required me doing something just about entirely different than what you posted. That's what "wrong" means.



I'm an advice source
Yes, i figured that out before you posted as such, and i posted it myself to save the both of us some trouble, since you merely danced around the subject nauseatingly. Thanks for the tip, bub.



Valueless dispute. You are incorrect.
I dispute that. That means there is at least a value of 1/0 for the argument, and you continue to protest, which lends just a little more value to it. To top that off, i'm obviously not incorrect.

I am happy to give you advice on how to find it out.
Then call yourself a counselor and not an oracle. I appreciate you wasting your time with us, though.
I can only equip you with the means to find them yourself. I do have the answers to all the world's problems - I cannot however, implement them myself. Giving you direct information would contradict this. Do you follow me?
Yes, i see you've been following the greats like my horoscope page, Miss Cleo and John Roberts.

CERTAIN questions of this nature which have no other direct path to the answer and do not have any significant historical or future consequences from their knowledge are acceptable. It's a tricky situation, really. It depends strongly on the wording of your question.
That's why i left no room for doubt.

Yes, I certainly do have the ability to guess.

So, when you see posts like mine and posts like yours ... and then declare,

Originally Posted by Kanabia
If you choose to mock the Oracle, I shall not dignify you with a response in the future.
Then the meaning of my inclusion would depend strongly on the placing of it in context.

Oh yeah, btw, you are in a position to declare anyone ignorant if they ask you a question. *poke* Even if they already know the answer!!


It's great, isn't it? ;)
;) Indeed. :D

Go on, ask away. Present any societal, political, or general problem with the world, and I will provide the answers, which will be indisputably correct. I am the Oracle.

Incest?

Ugly women

Go on, ask away. Present any societal, political, or general problem with the world, and I will provide the answers, which will be indisputably correct. I am the Oracle.

What is the meaning of life.:confused: And dont tell me it's 42! OH GOD HELP YOU IF YOU TELL ME IT'S 42!

Sigh. See, my first version of the question actually included a piece on how the answer better not mention either "centipedes", "millipedes", or - wait for it - anything to do with "ripping off" or "pulling out". So, while your theory holds a certain intrigue, if not exactly for the faint of heart, no Oracle Cookies for you.
The Oracle cookies aren't very nice anyway. They're always burnt.
Also, hello, starfish? Arms, buddy, arms. Though the <very big number> made me laugh.:)
I'm glad I could bring a little happiness into your pedantic life :p
By the way, what about sirenomelia (mermaid syndrome) - where the legs are fused together, giving only one leg? Aha!

What is the meaning of life.:confused: And dont tell me it's 42! OH GOD HELP YOU IF YOU TELL ME IT'S 42!
It's 42.

The Oracle cookies aren't very nice anyway. They're always burnt.
Not my Oracle Cookies. Alas, you'll never know, will you? Maybe I'll throw you an Orcle Cookie once in a while, just to remind you that editing doesn't solve anything.:D


I'm glad I could bring a little happiness into your pedantic life :p
You're right. Nitpicking major limb categories is so yesterday.

By the way, what about sirenomelia (mermaid syndrome) - where the legs are fused together, giving the appearance of only one leg? Aha!
Yeah, what about that?

The Oracle cookies aren't very nice anyway. They're always burnt.
As should be expected from an offering. ;)


By the way, what about sirenomelia (mermaid syndrome) - where the legs are fused together, giving only one leg? Aha!
It would appear someone got something useful out of that Brit link about things we didn't know before the year 2005 (or something like that).
;)

Not my Oracle Cookies. Alas, you'll never know, will you? Maybe I'll throw you an Orcle Cookie once in a while, just to remind you that editing doesn't solve anything.:D
:p Ah, but it does. Orcle cookies are quite nice actually, made with real orcles.

You're right. Nitpicking major limb categories is so yesterday.
I'm glad you agree.

Yeah, what about that?
Erm, nothing :mad:

It would appear someone got something useful out of that Brit link about things we didn't know before the year 2005 (or something like that).
;)
Admittedly, I didn't know about it before 2005, but I found out about it from this book (http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0006531644/026-2267167-2553204).

Incest?

Ugly women

Explain your problem with these further otherwise i can't answer it - as it stands, I have to answer "No thanks".

"How do we stop incest?" "How do we get rid of ugly women" etc.

What is the meaning of life.:confused: And dont tell me it's 42! OH GOD HELP YOU IF YOU TELL ME IT'S 42!

Define "meaning". Define the concept of "life". Do you mean your life? Etc. It is a very vague question that you have asked - I can answer, but i need you to further clarify your question.

Here's a serious question: am I ever going to have a successful record shop?

Explain your problem with these further otherwise i can't answer it - as it stands, I have to answer "No thanks".

"How do we stop incest?" "How do we get rid of ugly women" etc.

Aw, no, Oracle, people are disappointed everywhere. Can't your oracly powers restrain you from replying to self-answered questions with bad punchlines? Tsk.

:p Ah, but it does. Orcle cookies are quite nice actually, made with real orcles.
No no no, nobody uses real orcles anymore. Their natural BO would be too overpowering for the tender cookie dough. Orcle subtitute is the way to go. "I Can't Believe It's Not Orcle!"


Erm, nothing :mad:
Yes, sometimes the power of the well chosen edit can be quite convincing.:D

No no no, nobody uses real orcles anymore. Their natural BO would be too overpowering for the tender cookie dough. Orcle subtitute is the way to go. "I Can't Believe It's Not Orcle!"
No one uses real oracles either. We rely on Kanabia instead.

Yes, sometimes the power of the well chosen edit can be quite convincing.:D
I shall have my revenge.

o great oreo of doom, please tell me this: why are there so many right-wingers in this world, and what can you do to 'dispose' of them all? *cough*

No one uses real oracles either. We rely on Kanabia instead.

Heheheh, very true. ;)

Here's a serious question: am I ever going to have a successful record shop?

No. Soon the RIAA will attempt to crush all small-chain record stores and leave only RIAA approved corporations with licences to operate them.

o great oreo of doom, please tell me this: why are there so many right-wingers in this world, and what can you do to 'dispose' of them all? *cough*

There are many right-wingers because self-interest is a natural way to succeed in todays society...or at least the illusion that it is happens to be prevalent. What I could do to dispose all of them? I could conjure forth a storm, a whirlwind of death and distruction the likes of which the earth has never seen. But I won't.

Oh wise and all-knowing Oracle;

Three men spend a night in a hotel.

The hotel clerk says the room is $30.00.

Each man pays the clerk $10.00.

Afterwards, the clerk realizes he has overcharged the men, and gives the bellhop $5.00 to take back to the men as a refund.

The bellhop realizes you cannot evenly split $5.00 three ways, so he pockets $2.00, and gives each man back $1.00.

Now, each man has paid $9.00 and the bellhop has $2.00.

3 x 9 = 27 + 2 = 29.

Where did the extra dollar go ? It's been driving me nutso...

Thanks, and never slide down a splintery bannister ! :eek:

Oh wise and all-knowing Oracle;

Three men spend a night in a hotel.

The hotel clerk says the room is $30.00.

Each man pays the clerk $10.00.

Afterwards, the clerk realizes he has overcharged the men, and gives the bellhop $5.00 to take back to the men as a refund.

The bellhop realizes you cannot evenly split $5.00 three ways, so he pockets $2.00, and gives each man back $1.00.

Now, each man has paid $9.00 and the bellhop has $2.00.

3 x 9 = 27 + 2 = 29.

Where did the extra dollar go ? It's been driving me nutso...

Thanks, and never slide down a splintery bannister ! :eek:
Easy. The $2 is already included in the total, it doesn't need to be added into it. The men have already paid that money.

Each man has paid $8.33... for the hotel room. The .66... has gone to the Bellhop.

Easy. The $2 is already included in the total, it doesn't need to be added into it. The men have already paid that money.

Each man has paid $8.33... for the hotel room. The .66... has gone to the Bellhop.

No, that's not what I said.

Originally, each man paid $10.00, and then was refunded an even $1.00, making them each pay $9.00, even.

The bellhop pocketed $2.00, even.

No pennies are involved.

Where's that goddamn $1.00 ???

No. Soon the RIAA will attempt to crush all small-chain record stores and leave only RIAA approved corporations with licences to operate them.
That's you screwed as well, then...

No, that's not what I said.

Originally, each man paid $10.00, and then was refunded an even $1.00, making them each pay $9.00, even.

The bellhop pocketed $2.00, even.

No pennies are involved.

Where's that goddamn $1.00 ???

You're not understanding my response.

Lets piece it together:

The men paid $30.

The men were refunded $5.

However, the bellhop kept $2 of this.

Nevertheless, the total the men paid for their room is $25.

There is no missing dollar. Out of the $5 refund, $2 went to the bellhop, and $3 went to the men. The men still paid $25 for their room, and the total amount of money involved is still $30. I broke it up to make it easier to understand.


That's you screwed as well, then...

Yes. But don't worry, the RIAAbeast will eventually consume so much that it eventually exhausts all food sources, showering us all in a fiery supernova of musical freedom.....

Failing that, it will implode under its own gravity and suck us all into a black hole of aural nothingness.

I have put up a mental wall to avoid seeing what will actually happen, as it could be quite painful for me to look at. The Oracle can regrettably not help you further.

You're not understanding my response.

Lets piece it together:

The men paid $30.

The men were refunded $5.

However, the bellhop kept $2 of this.

Nevertheless, the total the men paid for their room is $25.

There is no missing dollar. Out of the $5 refund, $2 went to the bellhop, and $3 went to the men. The men still paid $25 for their room, and the total amount of money involved is still $30. I broke it up to make it easier to understand.

Ok, I actually new that, and was testing the waters before I dove in.

My real question is:


Why does it hurt when I pee ? :(

My real question is:


Why does it hurt when I pee ? :(

Stop masturbating.

Why does 1 + 1 = 2?

Stop masturbating.

Why ?

Go on, ask away. Present any societal, political, or general problem with the world, and I will provide the answers, which will be indisputably correct. I am the Oracle.
How do I get myself a nice, sweet boyfriend who won't break my heart?

Why does 1 + 1 = 2?

As such, it doesnt. 1 + 1 = two lots of one. It is only represented as such because it would be inefficient to unnecessarily write 1 + 1 = 2 * 1...although the Romans did it, but even they had to simplify out of necessity once they got to the number 4.


Why ?
So that it will no longer hurt when you pee.

How do I get myself a nice, sweet boyfriend who won't break my heart?

By stewing a random guy in some sort of sugary solution overnight.

By stewing a random guy in some sort of sugary solution overnight.
...

What if I only eat my boyfriends while they're still live? Couldn't I just sugarcoat him instead?

And how about the "not-breaking-my-heart" thing? There have been precedents.

...

What if I only eat my boyfriends while they're still live? Couldn't I just sugarcoat him instead?

And how about the "not-breaking-my-heart" thing? There have been precedents.

You could, of course. It's up to you. You could also dip him in chocolate or caramel, etc...

And you don't have to eat all of him. You can leave the areas with excess fat alone. Just go for choicy lean cuts. By reducing your saturated fat intake, you'll greatly decrease the risk of heart disease.

Can you PROVE Refused Party Program exists?

I'll take your silence the same way i took it before - that some questions are too great even for THE ORACLE.

As such, it doesnt. 1 + 1 = two lots of one. It is only represented as such because it would be inefficient to unnecessarily write 1 + 1 = 2 * 1...although the Romans did it, but even they had to simplify out of necessity once they got to the number 4.
Thats a bold statement, logically it can be proven but you're right in the sense that literally one object and another do not make a number.

Can you PROVE Refused Party Program exists?

I'll take your silence the same way i took it before - that some questions are too great even for THE ORACLE.

Yes, I can. (http://www.lyricstime.com/refused-the-refused-party-program-lyrics.html)

And I chose to ignore you because responding to you grew tiresome, when I could have been making witty replies and enjoying my pretentious ambiguity.

Thats a bold statement, logically it can be proven but you're right in the sense that literally one object and another do not make a number.

Of course, it can be proven, but I have little intention of doing so, when my previous answer was a much simpler explanation.

Of course, it can be proven, but I have little intention of doing so, when my previous answer was a much simpler explanation.
1 is not an object.

1 is not an object.
No, but numbers invariably represent an object, or at least can be applied to determine qualities of an object (eg. Pi.).

No, but numbers invariably represent an object, or at least can be applied to determine qualities of an object (eg. Pi.).
Yep, numbers can represent a quantity, but that still doesn't mean that they actually have that property. Numbers in the "real world" are useful logical fictions.

There are many right-wingers because self-interest is a natural way to succeed in todays society...or at least the illusion that it is happens to be prevalent. What I could do to dispose all of them? I could conjure forth a storm, a whirlwind of death and distruction the likes of which the earth has never seen. But I won't.
aw :(
how about if i tempt you with some booze *wiggles bottle of JD infront of your nose* ;)

aw :(
how about if i tempt you with some booze *wiggles bottle of JD infront of your nose* ;)

No thanks. *conjures up bottle of Johnny Walker Blue*

:p

Yep, numbers can represent a quantity, but that still doesn't mean that they actually have that property. Numbers in the "real world" are useful logical fictions.

I agree, and so we go back to my original post. :p

I agree, and so we go back to my original post. :p
Well I could but it wouldn't answer my original question.

Is Michael Jackson Man or Woman, and is he Black or White?

No thanks. *conjures up bottle of Johnny Walker Blue*

:p

damn!! :mad:

fine, i'll drink it to myself then :rolleyes: *angry mutterings to self about those dastardly rightwingers*

Well I could but it wouldn't answer my original question.

Heh, well, here's one for you.

Why does 0! = 1?

Heh, well, here's one for you.

Why does 0! = 1?
0! does not equal 1. If i'm wrong, please enlighten me.

Is Michael Jackson Man or Woman, and is he Black or White?
He is a Dark Lord of the Sith. He was murdered by his apprentice, who took his place. For some reason, nobody noticed and the entity that the public recognises as "Michael Jackson" continued destroying the world as normal.

0! does not equal 1. If i'm wrong, please enlighten me.

It does indeed, as does x^0. But i'll leave you to ponder and figure out why. :p

He is a Dark Lord of the Sith. He was murdered by his apprentice, who took his place. For some reason, nobody noticed and the entity that the public recognises as "Michael Jackson" continued destroying the world as normal.


Damn, you got me there.
:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

It does indeed, as does x^0. But i'll leave you to ponder and figure out why. :p
Yep, any number to the power zero is one. Ha ha, yeah I just got the zero factorial thing, sorry dude i'm an idiot.

If The Oracle has the answers to all the world's questions, why hasn't The Oracle gone on "Who wants to be a millionaire?" yet and won himself a million dollars?

If The Oracle has the answers to all the world's questions, why hasn't The Oracle gone on "Who wants to be a millionaire?" yet and won himself a million dollars?

I actually tried once, but didn't get selected.

I actually tried once, but didn't get selected.
Oh. Were you not invited in the first place or did you actually get to sit there and have to watch others have a go at it while time slowly ran out? Because the latter must suck big time.

Yes, I can. (http://www.lyricstime.com/refused-the-refused-party-program-lyrics.html)
Well, technically you've only proven that the song exists in some fashion.
But i'll clip & paste anyway to supplement your argument on that thread.

And I chose to ignore you because responding to you grew tiresome, when I could have been making witty replies and enjoying my pretentious ambiguity.
Alas, yes, that is how most of my relationships crawl to their demise. Simply not enough room for more than one ego. Well, except for the ones where i ran out of $ first.

Oh. Were you not invited in the first place or did you actually get to sit there and have to watch others have a go at it while time slowly ran out? Because the latter must suck big time.

Nah, I wasn't invited in the first place. And technically speaking, I didn't enter myself, but one of my parents phoned in on my behalf.

Well, technically you've only proven that the song exists in some fashion.
But i'll clip & paste anyway to supplement your argument on that thread.


Well, you asked me to prove if Refused Party Program exists. It does :p

It does indeed, as does x^0. But i'll leave you to ponder and figure out why. :p
Meh. That's an easy one.
n! = n(n-1)!
So if n=1, then 1! = 1(1-1)! or 1! = 1*0!
If 1! = 1, then 1*0! must = 1, so 0! must be 1.

Ooo... a question... (aside from: "Would you like some toast?")

How many fingers am I holding up?

Meh. That's an easy one.
n! = n(n-1)!
So if n=1, then 1! = 1(1-1)! or 1! = 1*0!
If 1! = 1, then 1*0! must = 1, so 0! must be 1.

Ach! The've got you too! After literaly minuites of hard and heated discussion, our Maths class concluded that it must be 0. We should have been revising for C1s, but Lor' knows that if anything on 0! comes up, we've passed! I know people say it just is, but we were right in our prediction that the Iraq war would never happen.

Oh no, wait a minuite...

Ach! The've got you too! After literaly minuites of hard and heated discussion, our Maths class concluded that it must be 0. We should have been revising for C1s, but Lor' knows that if anything on 0! comes up, we've passed! I know people say it just is, but we were right in our prediction that the Iraq war would never happen.

Oh no, wait a minuite...
Ok, well if you can spot a flaw in the proof I used, feel free to bitchslap me. But as it's a standard proof used by mathematicians all over the world, I think I'm safe.

Ooo... a question... (aside from: "Would you like some toast?")

How many fingers am I holding up?
As of the writing of this post, none.

Canada's age of consent is 14 I think.

Though, people under 18 can't have sex with people over 18...I think.

Are you telling me that I could've legally shagged those hott Canadian chicks in Soult St. Marie?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I'm moving to Canada!

Ooo... a question... (aside from: "Would you like some toast?")

How many fingers am I holding up?

You're holding up your middle finger.

New question:

What would be the easiest way for me to become part of an orgy?

(;) )

New question:

What would be the easiest way for me to become part of an orgy?

(;) )

;) Hopping threads are we?

;) Hoping threads are we?

Advanced thread hoping ;) Fun for all!

Advanced thread hoping ;) Fun for all!

Now, that's cute.
Bed... thread.
Brilliance!

Now, that's cute.
Bed... thread.
Brilliance!

*lol

You're giving me WAY too much credit. I never would have thought of the pun/rhyme ;)

To set aside all doubt, the answer was four.

You're holding up your middle finger.

NEVER REPLY ON BEHALF OF THE ORACLE!!!!!!!!!! :mad:


What would be the easiest way for me to become part of an orgy?

Sign up for one. :p

To set aside all doubt, the answer was four.

Not when I replied to your post.

To set aside all doubt, the answer was four.

No way. That's just a foursome... or two guys with a couple o' prostitutes.

[QUOTE=Kanabia]NEVER REPLY ON BEHALF OF THE ORACLE!!!!!!!!!! :mad:/QUOTE]

JEEZ...
My ears!

JEEZ...
My ears!

You're lucky i'm being lenient. I could have been inclined to actually punish you.

Sign up for one. :p


Sounds sensible. But where do I sign up?

You're lucky i'm being lenient. I could have been inclined to actually punish you.

Hey! I thought you were the fella that won "Nicest NS Guy!"

Sounds sensible. But where do I sign up?

Are there any, for lack of a better word, "sex festivals" that come to your area? You're bound to find something there. There's probably a goodly amount of swingers clubs around too.

Hey! I thought you were the fella that won "Nicest NS Guy!"

And that's a fitting memorial to my omnipotence, eh? The fact that I can delude everyone into thinking that, hmm? ;)

:eek: Dastardly!

And that's a fitting memorial to my omnipotence, eh? The fact that I can delude everyone into thinking that, hmm? ;)
Only person you're deluding is yourself if you think you're omnipotent...:p

Only person you're deluding is yourself if you think you're omnipotent...:p

Okay, i'll level with you. There are some things I can't do. Like make Michael Jackson go away. But i'm powerful enough that most pathetic mortals won't notice any difference.

Are there really guys out there who are nice, manly and great in bed or am I better off giving up hope and spending the rest of my life alone?

Are there really guys out there who are nice, manly and great in bed or am I better off giving up hope and spending the rest of my life alone?

Two things:

A) Define "manly"

B) Why bother with "Great in bed"? Surely they can be trained?

Are there really guys out there who are nice, manly and great in bed or am I better off giving up hope and spending the rest of my life alone?
Sorry, I have a girlfriend. ;)
Now who's deluding themselves...:(

Two things:

A) Define "manly"

B) Why bother with "Great in bed"? Surely they can be trained?

A) Manly=Not a pussy.

B) Not so. Some guys either get it or they don't.

Two things:

A) Define "manly"

B) Why bother with "Great in bed"? Surely they can be trained?

Oh great Oracle, why pull her chain?
There are indeed "nice, manly", "great in bed" prospects out there.
She's still better off staying alone.

There are several options:

1. Wait a couple of years.

2. Convince the American electorate to force congress to remove him from power.

3. Convince the American people to have a bloody coup/revolution/civil war.

4. Find a mentally unstable person, plant a small transmitter inside their ear without their knowledge, tell them to kill him through said tranmitter, and give them a gun.


But then Dick Cheney would be president. Wouldn't that be worse???? I think so.

Oh great Oracle, why pull her chain?
There are indeed "nice, manly", "great in bed" prospects out there.
She's still better off staying alone.

LOL. Care to expand on that?

LOL. Care to expand on that?

Let's seeee...
Let's take a peek at that User Profile...
Oh! 31!
(head nod) Yep. That's about when I wrote the whole thing off.

Seriously: There may be lots of nice women out there as you seem to be, and I don't exactly consider myself a bad catch (hope that doesn't come off as bragging), but the two sexes unfortunately operate at cross purposes.
I think evolution went a little screwy when it had to account for both the well-being of offspring as well as sustaining a viable, diverse gene pool.
End result: The Battle of the Sexes.

Let's seeee...
Let's take a peek at that User Profile...
Oh! 31!
(head nod) Yep. That's about when I wrote the whole thing off.

Seriously: There may be lots of nice women out there as you seem to be, and I don't exactly consider myself a bad catch (hope that doesn't come off as bragging), but the two sexes unfortunately operate at cross purposes.
I think evolution went a little screwy when it had to account for both the well-being of offspring as well as sustaining a viable, diverse gene pool.
End result: The Battle of the Sexes.

Hmmm. Interesting way of looking at it. At least you're straightforward about it. I'll have to see what the omnipotent oracle's final answer is. Not that I'll be basing any of my life decisions on this.

Its important if your interested in nuclear fusion and I think it'll take more then economically publishing to solve that problem.
I feel that u should come join "The oppressed peoples of CONGLAMOLAN" we have excellent and a stable economy. We are driving toward a very diciplinary but fair government... everyone is equal but no one will live in poverty. come join COMGLAMOLAN!!!!!!!-:mp5: :fluffle:

At least you're straightforward about it.

Hm. Think I left the wrong impression there, but... oh well. I was approaching a rather complicated topic in an awfully simplified way.

P.S. If I could change your mind that fast, I'd really have to wonder. ;)

I feel that u should come join "The oppressed peoples of CONGLAMOLAN" we have excellent and a stable economy. We are driving toward a very diciplinary but fair government... everyone is equal but no one will live in poverty. come join COMGLAMOLAN!!!!!!!-:mp5: :fluffle:

:rolleyes: Dude!

Hm. Think I left the wrong impression there, but... oh well. I was approaching a rather complicated topic in an awfully simplified way.

P.S. If I could change your mind that fast, I'd really have to wonder. ;)


Could also be that my mind-crippling 6 hour migraine has left me rather dense.

There is no possibility of "changing my mind" as I am rather neutral on the subject right now.

But then Dick Cheney would be president. Wouldn't that be worse???? I think so.

Well that's not my problem. I was asked how to get rid of Bush. I told him/her.

A) Manly=Not a pussy.

B) Not so. Some guys either get it or they don't.

Well, take heart. In several years time, sex robots will be a distinct possibility.

I feel that u should come join "The oppressed peoples of CONGLAMOLAN" we have excellent and a stable economy. We are driving toward a very diciplinary but fair government... everyone is equal but no one will live in poverty. come join COMGLAMOLAN!!!!!!!-:mp5: :fluffle:

...

Wow, that was the best example of a noob post i've ever seen.

Could also be that my mind-crippling 6 hour migraine has left me rather dense.
EEK! Sorry about the headache. Try bourbon.
I'm sure the Almighty Oracle would agree.

EEK! Sorry about the headache. Try bourbon.
I'm sure the Almighty Oracle would agree.

Yes, though i'd recommend Irish whiskey more.

Yes, though i'd recommend Irish whiskey more.

Crap. Now I'm thirsty.

Crap. Now I'm thirsty.
So am I.
*goes off to raid drinks cupboard*
Oracle, is it wrong to drink brandy I bought my dad as a gift?

Well, take heart. In several years time, sex robots will be a distinct possibility.

They have this really great, modernistic invention called a (lo and behold) vibrator! Is it too late to demand a refund? :p

EEK! Sorry about the headache. Try bourbon.
I'm sure the Almighty Oracle would agree.

And here I was planning on using a sledge hammer. Dash my plans!

How do you combine quantum mechanics and classical physics?
Well, actually, you can't. Classical physics is based upon intuitive assumptions about the universe. Quantum mechanics is based upon non-intuitive, mostly non-observable phenomena. :p

And here I was planning on using a sledge hammer. Dash my plans!
No, no, no! Using a sledge hammer will just make your headache worse (if you're still alive and conscious, that is).












Oh wait. That was sarcasm, yeah?

They have this really great, modernistic invention called a (lo and behold) vibrator! Is it too late to demand a refund? :p


so... hard... to resist... cheap... joke :headbang:

No, no, no! Using a sledge hammer will just make your headache worse (if you're still alive and conscious, that is).











Oh wait. That was sarcasm, yeah?

I was sort of aiming for the idea of unconcious. The drawback being the very temporary nature of it.

Well, actually, you can't. Classical physics is based upon intuitive assumptions about the universe. Quantum mechanics is based upon non-intuitive, mostly non-observable phenomena. :p

I think somewhere in there Classical Physics got confused with both Special and General Theories of Relativity.
(shrug) But who's keepin' track? I vote for the publishing solution. ;)

So am I.
*goes off to raid drinks cupboard*
Oracle, is it wrong to drink brandy I bought my dad as a gift?

No, but you may be advised to buy a really cheap bottle of brandy and mix it in with that so he doesn't notice. Only works if the seal hasn't been broken first, of course. Either that or try and make a small crack in the base.

They have this really great, modernistic invention called a (lo and behold) vibrator! Is it too late to demand a refund? :p

Would you prefer a vibrator, or a robot that looks, acts, and fucks like a man?

Would you prefer a vibrator, or a robot that looks, acts, and fucks like a man?

I thought she was trying to avoid the "acts" like a man part.

No, but you may be advised to buy a really cheap bottle of brandy and mix it in with that so he doesn't notice. Only works if the seal hasn't been broken first, of course. Either that or try and make a small crack in the base.
It was a cheap bottle of brandy. 1500 Hungarian florins. That's about £5 (erm...somewhere between 10 and 15 Aussie dollars). Not sure if the seal's broken or not.


Would you prefer a vibrator, or a robot that looks, acts, and fucks like a man?
Like a normal man, or like the man that Grainne wants?

Would you prefer a vibrator, or a robot that looks, acts, and fucks like a man?

Well, I've got the man that looks, acts and fucks like a robot so I don't see the upside. Ok, well he doesn't look like a robot. That's not the point.

Like a normal man, or like the man that Grainne wants?

HA! (hiccup):D

Like a normal man, or like the man that Grainne wants?

Should I take this to mean that I have impossible expectations? :(

Should I take this to mean that I have impossible expectations? :(
No, I'm sure there are some guys out there that are good in bed. I was just saying that the average man is probably not 'good' in bed.