NationStates Jolt Archive

What if we found some of Jesus' DNA on one of those things like the Shroud of Turin and made a clone of Jesus, would this clone still be the son of god?

Could we then make an army of god's sons? How many clones would we need to successfully fight god?

What if we found some of Jesus' DNA on one of those things like the Shroud of Turin and made a clone of Jesus, would this clone still be the son of god?

Could we then make an army of god's sons? How many clones would we need to successfully fight god?
The DNA would probably be too degraded after 2000 years.

What if we found some of Jesus' DNA on one of those things like the Shroud of Turin and made a clone of Jesus, would this clone still be the son of god?

Could we then make an army of god's sons? How many clones would we need to successfully fight god?

He had the flesh of a man, soul of god (so it is said! :)). Big woop if you cloned him. It would not be the son the god, no.

There's always one! Next you'll be reinding us that the shroud isn' old enough to have been the one Jesus was wrapped in or that Jesus didn't exist! Seriously.. who killed your inner child?

im pretty sure this all depends on just how many angels CAN dance on the head of a pin.

im pretty sure this all depends on just how many angels CAN dance on the head of a pin.

Four if it's a foxtrot, 7 for a samba, but up to 12 for a conga.

Elgesh']He had the flesh of a man, soul of god (so it is said! :)). Big woop if you cloned him. It would not be the son the god, no.

http://img353.imageshack.us/img353/7814/smileytroutsmack8gs.gif

We want clones dammit!!!

http://img353.imageshack.us/img353/7814/smileytroutsmack8gs.gif

We want clones dammit!!!
LOL! :D Clone all you won't, you won't get a jesus!

Four if it's a foxtrot, 7 for a samba, but up to 12 for a conga.
Actually it's only one dancing the gavotte.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/1243339.stm
Pulled this from the beeb.The face of jesus based on a computer work up.Got to love it when science and religion collide.

Radiocarbon tests determined the shroud to be from the fourteenth century, samples taken from the shroud also determined it to be paint, not blood, the nails are protrayed as going through the hand, rather than the wrist which would be necessary to support the weight, the head is 5% too large for the body, the nose is disproportionate, and the arms are too long.
Besides, Jesus never existed as an actual historical figure, as the mythos was created 60 some years after the supposed crucifixion was said to have taken place, and Jesus is clearly a rip-off of Odin (nailed to a tree), Osiris (died and resurrected 3 days later), Mithra and Krishna (born of a virgin mother), etc, etc.

[accidentally posted this under my spoof nation, eh heh....]

Radiocarbon tests determined the shroud to be from the fourteenth century, samples taken from the shroud also determined it to be paint, not blood, the nails are protrayed as going through the hand, rather than the wrist which would be necessary to support the weight, the head is 5% too large for the body, the nose is disproportionate, and the arms are too long.
Besides, Jesus never existed as an actual historical figure, as the mythos was created 60 some years after the supposed crucifixion was said to have taken place, and Jesus is clearly a rip-off of Odin (nailed to a tree), Osiris (died and resurrected 3 days later), Mithra and Krishna (born of a virgin mother), etc, etc.

Nobody's sure whether the Romans nailed through the wrist or through the palm, there is a theory that they nailed through the palms of victims and supported them with ropes as precision and medical knowledge were needed to get a nail between the two bones in the forearm.

Apart from that I can't really fault you EXCEPT FOR TRYING TO TURN A JOKE TOPIC INTO YET ANOTHER DEBATE!!!! http://img353.imageshack.us/img353/7814/smileytroutsmack8gs.gif

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/1243339.stm
Pulled this from the beeb.The face of jesus based on a computer work up.Got to love it when science and religion collide
ahem... I'm not being funny, but what makes you think this is anything to do with 'science'? Perhaps you're trying to mean 'secularism'?

I would characterise this 5 year old story as a collusion between _art_ and religion (the artistic medium being a computer program).

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/1243339.stm
Pulled this from the beeb.The face of jesus based on a computer work up.Got to love it when science and religion collide

Am I the only one who notices a resemblance to Saddam Hussain?:eek:

Am I the only one who notices a resemblance to Saddam Hussain?:eek:
no.. more precisely he looks just like Saddam after he was captured.. He's got a kinda worried look on his face.. like he's just realised that he's going to die a horrible, slow death..

Elgesh']LOL! :D Clone all you won't, you won't get a jesus!

:(

Apart from that I can't really fault you EXCEPT FOR TRYING TO TURN A JOKE TOPIC INTO YET ANOTHER DEBATE!!!! http://img353.imageshack.us/img353/7814/smileytroutsmack8gs.gif

What if I add some "lol"s and some ";) "s?

Elgesh']He had the flesh of a man, soul of god (so it is said! :)). Big woop if you cloned him. It would not be the son the god, no.

But with god as father, can't we asume that his DNA alone would be somehow special? He could have at least have some super-powers left!

no.. more precisely he looks just like Saddam after he was captured.. He's got a kinda worried look on his face.. like he's just realised that he's going to die a horrible, slow death..
Very like Saddam.I feel a 'Life Of Brian' moment comming on.'He's not the messiah he's a very naughty boy.'

Elgesh']LOL! :D Clone all you won't, you won't get a jesus!

I don't know. We already have lots of clones of Jesus' mother. (Our Lady of Guadalupe, Our Lady of Fatima, Our Lady of Lourdes, etc.) Clones of Jesus could be fun.

How about http://www.jesusdance.com?

no.. more precisely he looks just like Saddam after he was captured.. He's got a kinda worried look on his face.. like he's just realised that he's going to die a horrible, slow death..

1. Jesus is God
2. The picture of Jesus looks like Saddam Husain
3. Saddam Hussain looks like Mr Potato head: Saddam (http://images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://www.fantasiescometrue.com/WDCCTOY/WDCCTOYIMAGES/wtspotato.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.fantasiescometrue.com/WDCCTOY/wtspotato.htm&h=460&w=383&sz=15&tbnid=G8g3jnr3_r8J:&tbnh=125&tbnw=104&hl=en&start=2&prev=/images%3Fq%3DMr%2Bpotato%2Bhead%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26rls%3DGGLD,GGLD:2004-50,GGLD:en), Mr Potato Head (http://www2.warwick.ac.uk/about/warwickmagazine02/iraq/saddam.jpg)
4. Therefore, Mr Potato Head is God.

QED

I don't know. We already have lots of clones of Jesus' mother. (Our Lady of Guadalupe, Our Lady of Fatima, Our Lady of Lourdes, etc.) Clones of Jesus could be fun.

How about http://www.jesusdance.com?
God that woman gets around.:p Shes played more countrys than Riverdance.

What if I add some "lol"s and some ";) "s?

Just use a few :mp5: s or :sniper: s and nobody will take you seriously:p

I don't know. We already have lots of clones of Jesus' mother. (Our Lady of Guadalupe, Our Lady of Fatima, Our Lady of Lourdes, etc.) Clones of Jesus could be fun.

How about http://www.jesusdance.com?

I prefered Hamsterdance but it isn't around anymore.:(

But with god as father, can't we asume that his DNA alone would be somehow special? He could have at least have some super-powers left!

Yup, either God gave him a Y chromosone or Jesus was a woman!

*returns to secret Jesus-cloning lab*

You must work for these people.http://theparson.net/clone.html:D

Very like Saddam.I feel a 'Life Of Brian' moment comming on.'He's not the messiah he's a very naughty boy.'

I would forgive Saddam all f his crimes if he sang 'Always look on the bright side of life' when they execute him.:p

You must work for these people.http://theparson.net/clone.html:D

The link's broken, you added a :D to the end.

Here's the fixed version: linky (http://theparson.net/clone.html)

I would forgive Saddam all f his crimes if he sang 'Always look on the bright side of life' when they execute him.:p
So would I.*gets mental picture*.

The link's broken, you added a :D to the end.

Here's the fixed version: linky (http://theparson.net/clone.html)
Sorry. *trying not to look like the new guy*

Sorry. *trying not to look like the new guy*

That's the advantage of a screwed up Jolt account, nobody can tell ho many posts I have, my post count is down as N/A!!! I could be spammer or a newb, nobody knows, I am an international man of mystery....

What if we found some of Jesus' DNA on one of those things like the Shroud of Turin and made a clone of Jesus, would this clone still be the son of god?

Could we then make an army of god's sons? How many clones would we need to successfully fight god?

I believe that Mary Magdalene left a dress in her closet that might be helpful...

I believe that Mary Magdalene left a dress in her closet that might be helpful...
Blasphemer.Stone him.Stone him good.:D

I believe that Mary Magdalene left a dress in her closet that might be helpful...

*cough*DaVinci*cough* :p

Blasphemer.Stone him.Stone him good.:D

References to Mary Magdalene result in the offender getting thoroughly stoned?

*cough*DaVinci*cough* :p

We'd be looking for a cup, then... wouldn't we?

We'd be looking for a cup, then... wouldn't we?

She's probably a bit old for you by now, the age difference would be insurmountable.

Can you clone GODNA? Wouldn't you end up with a pile of goo with the half of the genes that came from Mary? You'd probably be better off cloning Mary: "how many nagging mothers does it take to overthrow God" is a more feasible question.

Can you clone GODNA? Wouldn't you end up with a pile of goo with the half of the genes that came from Mary? You'd probably be better off cloning Mary: "how many nagging mothers does it take to overthrow God" is a more feasible question.
One.

Radiocarbon tests determined the shroud to be from the fourteenth century, samples taken from the shroud also determined it to be paint, not blood, the nails are protrayed as going through the hand, rather than the wrist which would be necessary to support the weight, the head is 5% too large for the body, the nose is disproportionate, and the arms are too long.
Besides, Jesus never existed as an actual historical figure, as the mythos was created 60 some years after the supposed crucifixion was said to have taken place, and Jesus is clearly a rip-off of Odin (nailed to a tree), Osiris (died and resurrected 3 days later), Mithra and Krishna (born of a virgin mother), etc, etc.

[accidentally posted this under my spoof nation, eh heh....]

Odin hung himself from a tree. Though he did get stabbed with a spear...

She's probably a bit old for you by now, the age difference would be insurmountable.

But, if it snowed, and I needed something to grit the path with....

Odin hung himself from a tree. Though he did get stabbed with a spear...

Odin did hang himself from a tree, but not in the conventional 'gallows' sense... he was tied to the tree, so he died slowly of strangulation... much like the Roman idea behind crucifixion.

There are other parallels, however...

Yes, they were both stabbed with spears, but, perhaps more importantly, Odin was effectively sacrificed 'to' himself... much as (it could be argued) the Jewish fellow was.

Odin did hang himself from a tree, but not in the conventional 'gallows' sense... he was tied to the tree, so he died slowly of strangulation... much like the Roman idea behind crucifixion.

There are other parallels, however...

Yes, they were both stabbed with spears, but, perhaps more importantly, Odin was effectively sacrificed 'to' himself... much as (it could be argued) the Jewish fellow was.

Frankenchrist: a mishmash of pagan gods. And according to legend, Jews could create golems... ;)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/1243339.stm
Pulled this from the beeb.The face of jesus based on a computer work up.Got to love it when science and religion collide.
is that jesus or is it andy serkis??

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/1250000/images/_1251512_sonofgod150.jpg http://www.nrk.no/img/235488.jpeg

or is andy serkis the clone of jesus??!!

Whatever about cloning Jesus, I want a clone of myself.Think of the possibilities.An army of me's!!:D

Whatever about cloning Jesus, I want a clone of myself.Think of the possibilities.An army of me's!!:D

And what would we do with an army of you's?

Jesus would be so much better. We could cure lepers and stuff. Maybe a Jesus clone could even cure AIDS or make Microsoft Windows bug-free. With an army of Jesus clones we could even force god not to setence all the poor heathens to hell.

Maybe a Jesus clone could even ... make Microsoft Windows bug-free.
Don't be so fucking stupid. GOd himself couldn't fix that mess.

And what would we do with an army of you's?

Jesus would be so much better. We could cure lepers and stuff. Maybe a Jesus clone could even cure AIDS or make Microsoft Windows bug-free. With an army of Jesus clones we could even force god not to setence all the poor heathens to hell.

A bug free 'Windows'. Thats really a subject for an Intelligent Design thread.:D

Whatever about cloning Jesus, I want a clone of myself.Think of the possibilities.An army of me's!!:D

Shut up Amtray#168373.

is that jesus or is it andy serkis??

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/1250000/images/_1251512_sonofgod150.jpg http://www.nrk.no/img/235488.jpeg

or is andy serkis the clone of jesus??!!

Nah, we've already concluded that Saddam Hussain is a clone of Jesus.

And we're going to execute him again, oh the irony.;)

And what would we do with an army of you's?

Jesus would be so much better. We could cure lepers and stuff. Maybe a Jesus clone could even cure AIDS or make Microsoft Windows bug-free. With an army of Jesus clones we could even force god not to setence all the poor heathens to hell.

Computer, heal thyself!

Shut up Amtray#168373.
Sorry.Mind is wandering due to bordom of work.I will fall on my sword for such a dumb post.

Sorry.Mind is wandering due to bordom of work.I will fall on my sword for such a dumb post.
I thought it was quite witty. Not Oscar Wilde witty, you understand. Just witty enough to make my simpleton mind say 'buh, that was teh funneh!'

Actually, my brain is just full of lol right now.

Frankenchrist: a mishmash of pagan gods. And according to legend, Jews could create golems... ;)

Something about writing instructions on a tablet, and placing it in the golem's mouth, perhaps? I seem to recall that the original 'golem' story does revolve entirely around one Jew and his own 'creation'...

Nah, we've already concluded that Saddam Hussain is a clone of Jesus.

And we're going to execute him again, oh the irony.;)
i beg to differ

did hussein play KING KONG?

i rest my case.

Sorry.Mind is wandering due to bordom of work.I will fall on my sword for such a dumb post.

Um, I was trying to be funny by suggesting that there were at least 168372 other Amtrays and you were only Amtray#168373 becasue you're one of many clones but it didn't really work. My bad.:(

*offers Amtray a cookie in compensation*

Sorry.Mind is wandering due to bordom of work.I will fall on my sword for such a dumb post.

Um, I was trying to be funny by suggesting that there were at least 168372 other Amtrays and you were only Amtray#168373 becasue you're one of many clones but it didn't really work. My bad.:(

*offers Amtray a cookie in compensation*

Um, I was trying to be funny by suggesting that there were at least 168372 other Amtrays and you were only Amtray#168373 becasue you're one of many clones but it didn't really work. My bad.:(

*offers Amtray a cookie in compensation*
Accepts cookie.That went way over my head.Killed too many brain cells last night.;)

I officially declare this...

THE DUMBEST TOPIC EVER!

Accepts cookie.That went way over my head.Killed too many brain cells last night.;)

*wanders off to clone brain cells*

My God. They got it.Jesus is an alien.
http://www.carm.org/rael/Jesus.htm
:eek:

I officially declare this...

THE DUMBEST TOPIC EVER!

What about the 'Should bananas be yellow' thread?

*wanders off to clone brain cells*
If that were only possible YOU would be my own personal Jesus Christ.:)

What about the 'Should bananas be yellow' thread?
I came across one on another fourm that posed the question 'What would a chair look like if our knees bent the other way?'

If that were only possible YOU would be my own personal Jesus Christ.:)

What, and get nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be if everyone would be nice to each other (kudos to anyone who knows the quote)? No way...

What if we found some of Jesus' DNA on one of those things like the Shroud of Turin and made a clone of Jesus, would this clone still be the son of god?

Could we then make an army of god's sons? How many clones would we need to successfully fight god?


If you actually Cloned a God, how would you convince it to listen to you at all? If you Cloned an army, wouldn't you be at least a little worried one might take a notion to smite you and curse your desendents????

If you actually Cloned a God, how would you convince it to listen to you at all? If you Cloned an army, wouldn't you be at least a little worried one might take a notion to smite you and curse your desendents????

Well, the god in particular getting cloned said he and he alone was the one true god, so if you had two of 'em they'd probably try to destroy each other, since each wouldn't allow another god to be before themselves. And such a battle would be along the lines of an unstoppable force vs. an immovable object. Who'd win?

There's always one! Next you'll be reinding us that the shroud isn' old enough to have been the one Jesus was wrapped in or that Jesus didn't exist! Seriously.. who killed your inner child?


Actually, the Shroud of Tourin isnt old enough to be associated with Jesus.
It dates back to the 1200's a.d.
Its been carbon dated a few times, each with the approximate same result.
The only contention is by hard-line christians who claim a certain mold found on it, could throw off the result by a few years, (like 50 or so, on top of the plus or minus 50 of normal carbon 14 dating), and they pretend this is evidence enough to completely disregard carbon dating entirely.

So yah, I figured I'd jump all over that bit of sarcasm in your post, and kick someones inner child in the ribs.

What about the 'Should bananas be yellow' thread?


Must've missed that one. What was the final decision on that?

Must've missed that one. What was the final decision on that?
LOL!!! Sorry, that's a great one, like it!

Must've missed that one. What was the final decision on that?
It was decided that it is not our place to tell bananas what colour they should be and if they choose to be pink or mauve then that is their right. (This isn't exactly true. A lot of people disagreed and blatently ignored our arguements. Arrogant bastards!)

It was decided that it is not our place to tell bananas what colour they should be and if they choose to be pink or mauve then that is their right. (This isn't exactly true. A lot of people disagreed and blatently ignored our arguements. Arrogant bastards!)

I'll have to check that one, I didn't actually look at the thread.

What, and get nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be if everyone would be nice to each other (kudos to anyone who knows the quote)? No way...


Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

*offers cookie*

Odin did hang himself from a tree, but not in the conventional 'gallows' sense... he was tied to the tree, so he died slowly of strangulation... much like the Roman idea behind crucifixion.
....

Didn't die. It was part of a quest for wisdom. He has done the strangest things to gain wisdom. Giving an eye, for instance. Seducing the daughter of poetry-juice owner, etc...

*offers cookie*


*grabs cookie, runs off to a corner and eats it greedily*

What if we found some of Jesus' DNA on one of those things like the Shroud of Turin and made a clone of Jesus, would this clone still be the son of god?

Could we then make an army of god's sons? How many clones would we need to successfully fight god?
It might have already been posted, so flame me or whatever, but it'd be interesting to see how many copies of the copies it would take until the information integrity resulted in a bunch of Jesus 'tards. Then The Dead Milkmen (whoever's left of them) could write a song about takin' them to the Garden of Eden.