What should I do?
Stone Bridges
28-12-2005, 02:08
So I got these two friends, and they are both very nice girls. They are both best friend with one another. Lets just call them Betty and Ann. Well, this all started in October. Betty boyfriend broke up with her and was a real jerk to her. Not only that, but Ann knew that Betty's boyfriend was playing around. So Betty found out about her boyfriend cheating on her, and how Ann knew, it was a bad mess etc. I was there for Betty, and comforted her. Anyways we became attracted to one another, and we did date. However, Ann told Betty that she also liked me, so Betty dumped me so Ann could have me. However Ann has a boyfriend that she doesn't want to break up with until some other aspect of her life is straigthen out. So Here we are, it's after Christmas, Betty boyfriend screwed her again, and she reveals that she wants to be with me etc. However, she doesn't want to hurt Ann, and I don't either. Jeez I swear, the only thing missing from this is Jerry Springer and Steve. I do like them both, but I'm not willing to go back and forth to one another. I'm really considering to just not dating either one of them because this is not going to end good. So what do yall think? I mean I'm not dating anyone, Betty is single, Ann is not, they both have feelings for me, and I'm trying to do the right thing, but I'm lost.
Call to power
28-12-2005, 02:18
I think this advice is good for most NS'ers:
back away find someone else there is no point going though all this hassle for a girl especially if she is your friend
also these girls are just wasting your time if she wants you but has a boyfriend your being screwed if she dumped you because her friend likes you then she clearly doesn’t like you (girls put love above friendship)
Fair Progress
28-12-2005, 02:19
If Ann is interested in you then there's no point on staying with her actual boyfriend, there shouldn't even be a question there. Either she doesn't want to hurt him directly (because being together without feelings for him is hurting the other person, he just doesn't know yet) or she's confused about how she feels for you; either way, the only really safe exit to that situation, IMO, is dating none of them and staying friends with both. Otherwise, Ann has to understand that you and Betty are really into eachother.
Gun toting civilians
28-12-2005, 02:22
Stay away from a relationship. This can only turn out bad.
Stone Bridges
28-12-2005, 02:24
Stay away from a relationship. This can only turn out bad.
Yea, right now I'm getting that robot voice saying "Danger Danger..." You know the Robot I'm talking about, from that old space movie? Damn can't think of the title.
Gun toting civilians
28-12-2005, 02:27
Yea, right now I'm getting that robot voice saying "Danger Danger..." You know the Robot I'm talking about, from that old space movie? Damn can't think of the title.
Lost in Space. Listen to the voice, this situation can only end with both girls hating you and maybe each other.
Eruantalon
28-12-2005, 02:27
I'm really considering to just not dating either one of them because this is not going to end good.
That would be the right decision. Make it clear that you want to remain just friends with both of them.
Stone Bridges
28-12-2005, 02:43
If Ann is interested in you then there's no point on staying with her actual boyfriend, there shouldn't even be a question there. Either she doesn't want to hurt him directly (because being together without feelings for him is hurting the other person, he just doesn't know yet) or she's confused about how she feels for you; either way, the only really safe exit to that situation, IMO, is dating none of them and staying friends with both. Otherwise, Ann has to understand that you and Betty are really into eachother.
Well Ann offical response is that she just needs to get her life straighten out, and apparently her bf is one of the few stables things in her life, so she doesn't want to give that up. So yea, Man why do I get myself into these situations. Also, does anyone else feel like I'm just being passed around like a piece of meat?
Eruantalon
28-12-2005, 02:47
Well Ann offical response is that she just needs to get her life straighten out, and apparently her bf is one of the few stables things in her life, so she doesn't want to give that up. So yea, Man why do I get myself into these situations. Also, does anyone else feel like I'm just being passed around like a piece of meat?
What's so hard about just saying no to Ann? (and Betty, for that matter?)
Stone Bridges
28-12-2005, 02:55
What's so hard about just saying no to Ann? (and Betty, for that matter?)
Because Betty broke up with me so Ann could have me, and now she's afraid of hurting Ann if we get back together because Ann likes me too. and ughh!
*goes off muttering swear words in German*
Dodudodu
28-12-2005, 03:40
Because Betty broke up with me so Ann could have me, and now she's afraid of hurting Ann if we get back together because Ann likes me too. and ughh!
*goes off muttering swear words in German*
Well if Ann is staying with her boyfriend, then she should be fine with you and betty hooking up again.
Stone Bridges
28-12-2005, 03:43
This is why I never want to meet my girlfriend's best friend.
Sdaeriji
28-12-2005, 03:52
Because Betty broke up with me so Ann could have me, and now she's afraid of hurting Ann if we get back together because Ann likes me too. and ughh!
*goes off muttering swear words in German*
It's not fair to Betty, or you, for you to remain single in hopes that Ann might some day break up with her boyfriend to be with you. Ann can want to be with you all she wants, but unless she's willing to take the risk to be with you, she can't expect you and Betty not to date. Hit Betty up.
Julius The Fish
28-12-2005, 04:12
This is why I never want to meet my girlfriend's best friend.
Speaking as someone who is currently dating (for a long and happy period of time now) my best friend's ex, I think that there is still the possibility of this working out for everyone involved. Having been in a very similar situation (I was Betty) my view is that Ann is being incredibly selfish by a) jeopardizing her best friend's relationship, b) disregarding and disrespecting the feelings of her boyfriend by discussing her feelings about you with you and without his knowledge, c) keeping everyone involved waiting on the line while she straightens out her other issues and finally d) risking her friendships with both you and Betty in order to do so. I'm sorry, but why should she suddenly have the right to move in on you while you're with Betty, all of a sudden? Best friends don't do that. It's the first unwritten law of friendship.
My initial thought, though I'm sure you've had more time to think about it than I have, is that you should be with Betty and let Ann work out the numerous issues that she's displaying in this scenario before you even consider dating her. Think: how'd you like to be in her boyfriend's current position? Well, then.
Stone Bridges
28-12-2005, 04:34
Speaking as someone who is currently dating (for a long and happy period of time now) my best friend's ex, I think that there is still the possibility of this working out for everyone involved. Having been in a very similar situation (I was Betty) my view is that Ann is being incredibly selfish by a) jeopardizing her best friend's relationship, b) disregarding and disrespecting the feelings of her boyfriend by discussing her feelings about you with you and without his knowledge, c) keeping everyone involved waiting on the line while she straightens out her other issues and finally d) risking her friendships with both you and Betty in order to do so. I'm sorry, but why should she suddenly have the right to move in on you while you're with Betty, all of a sudden? Best friends don't do that. It's the first unwritten law of friendship.
My initial thought, though I'm sure you've had more time to think about it than I have, is that you should be with Betty and let Ann work out the numerous issues that she's displaying in this scenario before you even consider dating her. Think: how'd you like to be in her boyfriend's current position? Well, then.
Yea, me and Betty have really connected, and it's tearing her apart too because I dunno. Personally I'm suprised Betty is still considering Ann's feeling after Ann didn't tell her that her ex was cheating on her. I'm still weighting the pros and cons and I'm also seeking spiritual advice (devoult Roman Catholic here), so yea.
Stone Bridges
28-12-2005, 05:32
After much thoughts, I'm going to pull out of this nose dive and just be friends with both of them, this is just not going to end good and if i date one girl the other isn't going to be happy, so yea. Time to pull back on the stick, reduce power and pull myself out of this nose dive.
Threesome. That is all...
Stone Bridges
28-12-2005, 05:59
Threesome. That is all...
Trust me, I tried.... :p
Trust me, I tried.... :p
Try harder! Never give up! :p