Somebody please....
Cabra West
26-12-2005, 12:10
... tell me a story. Or a joke. Or anything.
I'm bored out of my head here. I have to sit at work today, monitoring lines of a Helpdesk that so far has gotten 7 calls all day. I NEED something to distract me. Desperately. Please. :(
Cabra West
26-12-2005, 12:14
Seriously. This book (http://www.play.com/play247.asp?page=title&r=BOOK&title=697568&p=193&g=250&pa=genna) is starting to look really interesting. I think my brain is shutting down for lack of use...
Oscurosa
26-12-2005, 12:21
What's big, red, and eats rocks?
:D
Cabra West
26-12-2005, 12:22
What's big, red, and eats rocks?
:D
Big red rockeater? :confused:
Wildwolfden
26-12-2005, 12:22
try BBC Site H2g2
Neu Leonstein
26-12-2005, 12:23
I've been desperate to unload this article somewhere, but much of NS speaks English...
Maybe you can work yourself up about that?
http://www.zeit.de/2005/52/Frankreich
Wildwolfden
26-12-2005, 12:23
try BBC Site h2g2 http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/brunel/dontpanic-tour
Oscurosa
26-12-2005, 12:23
Big red rockeater? :confused:
Yay!
How many balls of string do you need to reach the moon?
The Squeaky Rat
26-12-2005, 12:24
... tell me a story. Or a joke. Or anything.
Take a normal passenger airplane.
Put it on a conveyor belt which is about twice as wide as the airplane itself.
Attach a computer to the conveyor belt which makes sure the speed at which the conveyor belt moves backwards is equal to the forward speed of the plane.
Can the plane take off :p ?
(this no doubt has been posted here before - hell; it has been posted everywhere)
Korbidon
26-12-2005, 12:25
Joke time!
Okay, two Irishmen walk out of a bar.
Cabra West
26-12-2005, 12:26
Yay!
How many balls of string do you need to reach the moon?
Now you're confusing me. How would I reach the moon with string?
Oscurosa
26-12-2005, 12:27
How can you fit an elephant in a fridge?
EDIT: Pretend you tied one end of the ball of string to a rocket, and took off. How many balls of string would you need to tie together to bridge the gap between the Moon and the Earth?
Wildwolfden
26-12-2005, 12:28
How can you fit an elephant in a fridge?
cut his legs off
Wildwolfden
26-12-2005, 12:29
Joke time!
Okay, two Irishmen walk out of a bar.
'ouch that hurt' they say
Oscurosa
26-12-2005, 12:30
cut his legs off
No, no! You just open the door, put the elephant in, and close the door!
So, how do you fit a giraffe into a fridge?
Oscurosa
26-12-2005, 12:31
Joke time!
Okay, two Irishmen walk out of a bar.
A man walks into a bar.
Ouch!
EDIT: Sorry, guys, abandoning you to go and play poker. Think about the giraffe ...
Wildwolfden
26-12-2005, 12:34
Online Scrabble http://www.isc.ro/
The Squeaky Rat
26-12-2005, 12:38
I'm bored out of my head here. I have to sit at work today, monitoring lines of a Helpdesk that so far has gotten 7 calls all day.
Have you read the online comic "Help desk" ?
http://www.ubersoft.net/d/19960331.html
Hullepupp
26-12-2005, 12:40
Man & his wife are lying in the bed...
Man : I am to tired for sex , but can you give me a blowjob?
Wife : I am to tired too...shoot in a glas , i will drink it tomorrow
Wildwolfden
26-12-2005, 12:41
Piczo design your own free website
http://www.piczo.com/
Cabra West
26-12-2005, 12:41
Have you read the online comic "Help desk" ?
http://www.ubersoft.net/d/19960331.html
Hey, that's GOOD :D
Wildwolfden
26-12-2005, 12:42
Man & his wife are lying in the bed...
Man : I am to tired for sex , but can you give me a blowjob?
Wife : I am to tired too...shoot in a glas , i will drink it tomorrow
sick
San haiti
26-12-2005, 12:46
Take a normal passenger airplane.
Put it on a conveyor belt which is about twice as wide as the airplane itself.
Attach a computer to the conveyor belt which makes sure the speed at which the conveyor belt moves backwards is equal to the forward speed of the plane.
Can the plane take off :p ?
(this no doubt has been posted here before - hell; it has been posted everywhere)
No.
The Squeaky Rat
26-12-2005, 12:51
Hey, that's GOOD :D
Wait till you get to the "pirates" storyline ;)
http://www.ubersoft.net/d/20030923.html
Pure Metal
26-12-2005, 12:52
aw poor CW :(
i'll think of you while i'm sitting down for my second roast turkey in two days :D
try looking up random shit on wikipedia... can really while away the hours (and keep your brain stimulated) if you find something interesting and run with it :)
Grainne Ni Malley
26-12-2005, 12:57
Once upon a time there was a beautiful woman who.... (someone else can continue the story).
Dictator 1
26-12-2005, 13:02
EDIT: Sorry, guys, abandoning you to go and play poker. Think about the giraffe ...
You open the door, get the elephant out, put the giraffe in and close the door.
How do you get 2 penguins in a fridge?
Pure Metal
26-12-2005, 13:24
Once upon a time there was a beautiful woman who.....
promptly got bored and bought a pet monkey...
Cabra West
26-12-2005, 13:27
promptly got bored and bought a pet monkey...
Who wasn't a monkey at all but a disguised...
Who wasn't a monkey at all but a disguised...
penis!
Cabra West
26-12-2005, 13:30
penis!
Bent on world domination.
Pure Metal
26-12-2005, 13:32
Bent on world domination.
*sings "Comin' All Over The World" by The Dickfiddlers*
;)
Cabra West
26-12-2005, 13:34
*sings "Comin' All Over The World" by The Dickfiddlers*
;)
*roflmao
I wonder what the plan of the evil penis might be?
*roflmao
I wonder what the plan of the evil penis might be?
It's bent. It won't get very far, whatever they may be. Especially if they involve getting into sticky situations.
Cabra West
26-12-2005, 13:36
It's bent. It won't get very far, whatever they may be. Especially if they involve getting into sticky situations.
Surely the first step would be trying to get straight again, then?
Legless Pirates
26-12-2005, 15:43
Surely the first step would be trying to get straight again, then?
Nah. Penises aren't homophobes
[NS]Trans-human
26-12-2005, 15:53
Nah. Penises aren't homophobes
Penises are innately pansexual. All they need is a hole.:P
Legless Pirates
26-12-2005, 15:55
And now for a penis joke...
How do I get my penis this long?
|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|
by folding it twice
Workoria
26-12-2005, 15:59
And now for a penis joke...
How do I get my penis this long?
|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|
by folding it twice
Tie a rope to it, and jump off a building....you might not survive, but your penis will be long!
*I like my answer better*
[NS]Trans-human
26-12-2005, 16:01
Tie a rope to it, and jump off a building....you might not survive, but your penis will be long!
*I like my answer better*
That would just leave a castrated corpse. Tee Hee.
Workoria
26-12-2005, 16:06
Trans-human']That would just leave a castrated corpse. Tee Hee.
I didn't say it would be perfect! :D
Briantonnia
26-12-2005, 16:07
How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Workoria
26-12-2005, 16:26
How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
13?
The Squeaky Rat
26-12-2005, 16:50
How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, provided the bulb is large enough.