NationStates Jolt Archive

I'm well on my way to making peace with the idea that people have taken speaking of negatives as though they can be multiplied. Things like "take our diet pill and you could weigh up to three times less." That's retarded because things can't be more smaller unless you're comparing them to comparisons. If I'm 140 lbs and you're 160 lbs and a third person weighs 120 lbs then that person weighs twice as much less than you as I do. Yet more and more people think that if you weigh 130 and they weigh 390 then you weigh three times less. I'm well aware that people are this dumb and perhaps one day I will be able to accept it.

But the mass mathematical stupidity seems to be creeping ever onward. I just saw an ad for some internet service that warns customers "spyware can reduce your download speed 500%." What the fuck is a 500% reduction in download speed? 100% means that you have no internet connection. 200% reduction would have to be that if you try to access a website you end up crashing it. Or perhaps you can't access it and inadvertantly create a whole new website somewhere.

Presumably, they meant that your download speed can be reduced to as little as one fifth. That's an 80% reduction, not a 500% reduction. I would completly despair of any faith in the capacity of my fellow man for rational thought if this wasn't an AOL ad. Clearly there's only a limited pool of people who think that AOL is a reputable ISP and this is strictly geared towards them.

Any thoughts? Is there possibly a reasonable interpretation of "a 500% reduction in download speed" that I may have overlooked?

AOL is made up of magical bullshit.

AOL is made up of magical bullshit.

The proper terminology is "Unicorn Farts"

Because the people targeted by the AOL ads just see the big number (500%! Holy Crap! That would be REALLY slow!) and don't bother to apply any critical thinking.

It's kind of like golf

I'm well on my way to making peace with the idea that people have taken speaking of negatives as though they can be multiplied. Things like "take our diet pill and you could weigh up to three times less."

It could be worse: "take our diet pill and you could weigh up to three times fewer."

the ads that kill me are the ones for diet pills that guarantee you will lose UP TO 20 lbs in the first 2 weeks.

the only way to lose that is if they lose MORE than 20 lbs and if they do, they sure aint gonna complain.

the ads that kill me are the ones for diet pills that guarantee you will lose UP TO 20 lbs in the first 2 weeks.

the only way to lose that is if they lose MORE than 20 lbs and if they do, they sure aint gonna complain.

I always loved those too. Hell, if you want, you can send me $19.95 and I'll guarantee you'll lose up to 20 lbs sitting on the couch eating bonbons.

Of course, if you look really, really close, they all say "results not typical", i.e. "this is not going to happen to you". Of course they have to put in "results not typical". The only other place I wish they had to put "results not typical" is when you have these tabloid news shows that interview someone that got hemmorhoids from eating too many M&Ms or some other such nonsense.

You know what bothers me about AOL commercials?

"when you have a high speed connection spyware flys at you faster"

wtf?

I know my husband explained to me what he thinks they were trying to say, but now they have my mom all scared and she wants to add aol to her highspeed connection to catch the "super fast highspeed only spyware" :headbang:

I suppose the commercials are for people like her though.

surely if it says guarenteed to lose UP to 20pounds... and you put on weight they lose?

I had this very discussion with someone about six months ago. A supermarket advertised that their meat had "Five times less sodium." I decided, for shits and giggles, to go in to see the store manager and ask him just what that meant.

After an hour, he still had no idea that there was something wrong. I swear that I am surrounded by retards.

However, a month later the sign was replaced by one that read that their meat had "1/5 as much sodium." I guess it got through after all.

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b383/DrkHelmet/Forum%20Pictures/GrammarNazi.jpg

Actually, one of my other pet peeves is doing anything that claims to "lower your risk of death".

I'm sorry, but no matter what you do, your risk of death is 100% and no less.

Actually, one of my other pet peeves is doing anything that claims to "lower your risk of death".

I'm sorry, but no matter what you do, your risk of death is 100% and no less.
along those same lines (maybe) my weather man says "there is a 100% chance of rain"

is that really a chance? it seems like more of a certainty to me...........

What the fuck is a 500% reduction in download speed? 100% means that you have no internet connection. 200% reduction would have to be that if you try to access a website you end up crashing it.

Sue them for gross mathematical stupidity. They don't deserve to make money!

along those same lines (maybe) my weather man says "there is a 100% chance of rain"

is that really a chance? it seems like more of a certainty to me...........
Mathematically, 100% is still technically a chance, since by definition all chances lie between 0 and 1 inclusive. Just like 0 is neither positive nor negative, and 1 is not a prime number.
In language, though, 100% is a certainty. So you're both right.
(I guess your weatherman is a mathematician! :) )

surely if it says guarenteed to lose UP to 20pounds... and you put on weight they lose?

No. The twenty pound loss is the absolute maximum that you might lose. No indication of the minimum is given, so the only way that the claim could be false is if someone lost more than twenty pounds on the diet. But, as Ashmoria pointed out, if someone had results that impressive they wouldn't bother complaining.

Actually, one of my other pet peeves is doing anything that claims to "lower your risk of death".

I'm sorry, but no matter what you do, your risk of death is 100% and no less.
Elijah never died. :D

Elijah never died. :D

Nor did Joe Hill.

I'm well on my way to making peace with the idea that people have taken speaking of negatives as though they can be multiplied. Things like "take our diet pill and you could weigh up to three times less." That's retarded because things can't be more smaller unless you're comparing them to comparisons. If I'm 140 lbs and you're 160 lbs and a third person weighs 120 lbs then that person weighs twice as much less than you as I do. Yet more and more people think that if you weigh 130 and they weigh 390 then you weigh three times less. I'm well aware that people are this dumb and perhaps one day I will be able to accept it.

But the mass mathematical stupidity seems to be creeping ever onward. I just saw an ad for some internet service that warns customers "spyware can reduce your download speed 500%." What the fuck is a 500% reduction in download speed? 100% means that you have no internet connection. 200% reduction would have to be that if you try to access a website you end up crashing it. Or perhaps you can't access it and inadvertantly create a whole new website somewhere.

Presumably, they meant that your download speed can be reduced to as little as one fifth. That's an 80% reduction, not a 500% reduction. I would completly despair of any faith in the capacity of my fellow man for rational thought if this wasn't an AOL ad. Clearly there's only a limited pool of people who think that AOL is a reputable ISP and this is strictly geared towards them.

Any thoughts? Is there possibly a reasonable interpretation of "a 500% reduction in download speed" that I may have overlooked?

They're just advertising gimmicks made to lure the dumb into buying their products. They probably know 500% less is a mathematical impossibility, but it just sounds so damn good on tv.

They're just advertising gimmicks made to lure the dumb into buying their products. They probably know 500% less is a mathematical impossibility, but it just sounds so damn good on tv.

But it's bloody impossible. It's very sad that we have people who fall for it.

Elijah never died. Nor did Joe Hill.

nor did elvis

Nor did Joe Hill.
i dreamed i saw joe hill last night, alive as you or me. says i "but joe youre 10 years dead" "i never died", said he.

You expect far too much out of AOL clientele.

I'd say you should expect five times less from them.

-opsnip-
But the french chick in the StopSign ad is kinda cute....

Really, people have been making up what precentages mean for a while. You can explain them to people when they quote them. I mean salmon swim upstream and get to bone at the end of it. And while it's only fish boning it's still something, so it's not always futile to swim up stream.