NationStates Jolt Archive

Here's what mine will say:

'Ello, you son of a bitch,
Have a merry-fucking, ham-eating, gift-buying, food-purging,binge-drinking, suicide-attempting, drug-taking, child-beating, Jesus-loving, money-spending, razor-cutting, porn-searching, Santa-watching, coal-receiving, charity-giving, homeless people-freezing, kosher Xmas.

Love,
J.
http://www.gamesblog.it/uploads/santa-drunk1.jpg
P.S. This counts as your present too.

Nothing. I don't send any

I just choked on my cereal because of you. way to go.

I just choked on my cereal because of you. way to go.
I think that Santa is very realistic.

My xmas cards say have a happy chanuka....im not joking.....im jewish

I think that Santa is very realistic.
It wasn't the Santa...it was the post-script.

Meh, a spicy card is better than half the shit people get at Christmas anyway.

Wife and I don't actually send out Christmas cards but do send out New Year's cards to everyone. Not Christian btw.

Well, my Christmas cards were fairly macabe and or disturbingly twisted this year... and themed to Christmas music. Yes, I drew them myself. Though given recent events I may have avoided the dark theme... but thats a story for... well, not even another time. In any case, here they are:



'I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus' - - in which a boy is crying at the sight of his mother being 'pleasured' by jolly old St. Nick.

'Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire' - - in which Santa has unfortunately slipped down the wrong, and very hot chimney.

'Im Dreaming of a White Christmas' - - in which the elves are busy in the production of a totally different kind of candy, which they seem to be readily partaking in.

'Hark Hear the Herald Angels Slangin' - - in which the... er... 'Herald Angels' are gifting said candy from the previous card... cha-ching?

'Ill be Homo For Christmas' - - In which two men are... you know, celebrating... with some eggnog. Nothing against people of this persuasion you understand, it just came to me... and I have no heart.

'Here Cums Santa Claus' - - I think you can figure this one out.

'Nuttin for Christmas' - - again, it speaks for itself.

'Silver Balls' - - think geriatric Santa genitalia.



There are more - but you know, some stood out.

Now don't get too offended, the people getting them have the same twisted sense of humour.

(snip)
Now don't get too offended, the people getting them have the same twisted sense of humour.

...

Where is mine?

I'm asking the same question. Lasc, send me a card!!

*hug*

...

Where is mine?
Now don't put me under even more stress to send out cards - - to be honest not many people have gotten theirs as it is... :(

This has actually been a terrible holiday season. Don't ask.

I only give cards to people that I am very close to, and then they always say, "Bah, humbug".

I'm asking the same question. Lasc, send me a card!!

*hug*
What have I done to myself :(

Now don't put me under even more stress to send out cards - - to be honest not many people have gotten theirs as it is... :(

This has actually been a terrible holiday season. Don't ask.

Joy to the world
The Dutch has come
Let Celeste receive. *censored*

That is my card...

(no, no love.. sending a different one to your parents...)

Joy to the world
The Dutch has come
Let Celeste receive. *censored*

That is my card...
:eek:

:eek:
I haven't come yet though...

Have a raunchy Christmas everyone.

I haven't come yet though...
maybe if I hurry we can both... er... get there... at the same time...

maybe if I hurry we can both... er... get there... at the same time...

Come one.. come all?

ROFL

maybe if I hurry we can both... er... get there... at the same time...
Well you'd really really have to hurry, because...

...


... too late

damn - you... er... beat me to it...

Get off my Lawn you JW Bastards!

Money's short and times are hard
So here's your fucking Christmas card.

Nothing. I don't send any

Neither.

I do not send one...it´s a waste of time

Neither.

nor me. well actually i sent two this year (one to tink and one to glitziness) but the messages are private ;)

other than that our group of friends have never bothered to send cards to each other :(

and i haven't recieved any* this year... so... bah humbug.
*apart from one from amy

nor me. well actually i sent two this year (one to tink and one to glitziness) but the messages are private ;)

other than that our group of friends have never bothered to send cards to each other :(

and i haven't recieved any (apart from one from amy) this year... so... bah humbug.

Yeah I haven't got any either. Doesn't worry me much.

Messages private, eh? You aren't trying to set up a menage-au-trois, are you? I'm onto you.....and without inviting me, either.

Yeah I haven't got any either. Doesn't worry me much.

Messages private, eh? You aren't trying to set up a menage-au-trois, are you? I'm onto you.....and without inviting me, either.
heh nor me... never used to get em/many at school/college, so its no big deal getting none now.
lol nooo... ok the one to tink was something along the lines of... wait i just wrote it out and then realised she can read it here! that would totally spoil any suprise lol... ok tink's isn't too secret cos i would tell ya if i could, but amy's is secret *wink* (albeit not too dirty cos i had to tone it down in case her parents read it lol)
and you're always invited to my... exploits *winks* *slips rohipnol into drink* :p

heh nor me... never used to get em/many at school/college, so its no big deal getting none now.
lol nooo... ok the one to tink was something along the lines of... wait i just wrote it out and then realised she can read it here! that would totally spoil any suprise lol... ok tink's isn't too secret cos i would tell ya if i could, but amy's is secret *wink* (albeit not too dirty cos i had to tone it down in case her parents read it lol)
and you're always invited to my... exploits *winks* *slips rohipnol into drink* :p

You can TG me. :p

and yay! shall we make a porno? I'm thinking...."Commujism". Or perhaps "The Pirate's Cave: Featuring extra booty".

You can TG me. :p

and yay! shall we make a porno? I'm thinking...."Commujism". Or perhaps "The Pirate's Cave: Featuring extra booty".
lol okeydokey :P (as long as you promise not to blab to tink!)
lmao... commujism: the titsky chronicles *nods*
i've got the camera and the...equipment... you bring the booze (and the women) and lets get going! :D

lol okeydokey :P (as long as you promise not to blab to tink!)
lmao... commujism: the titsky chronicles *nods*
i've got the camera and the...equipment... you bring the booze (and the women) and lets get going! :D

It's a plan. And of course I won't. LOL...titsky...and shaftin. :p