NationStates Jolt Archive

Here's mine.

Come Forth All Ye Heathens

Priest:
Come forth all ye heathens, I beckon all of you
That means every Muslim, Shintoist, and Jew
God is very angry, and you make Jesus cry
Sit down next to me and I will tell you why

It's not that you're promiscous or gay
On the contrary, God thinks that's okay
It's not that you're unholy or hellbound
No, that is not the reason that I found

When the collection plate comes around
You all are nowhere to be found
You refuse to pay the holy coffer
Thus refusing God's gracious offer....

Heathens:
To?

Priest:
Let you into heaven upon your brutal death

Heathens:
Huh?

Priest:
Heaven costs a fortune to maintain
From the doorstep to the window paign
The choir is expensive
And the repairs are quite extensive...

So pay your dues before your final breath.

Salvation isn't free, not in the least
Especially for those in the Middle East
It's only a weekly fee
To gain the approval of He...

And if you don't you're going to burn in hell

But you may be wondering, what does this fee cover? Well, allow me to tell....

It covers the initial cost of your wings
Your gown and all the shiney things
The room in which you'll reside
So don't you try and hide...

From God's most merciful tax collectors