NationStates Jolt Archive


You as a semi-stereotypical RPG villain: what would it take, and what would you do?

Divine Imaginary Fluff
20-12-2005, 02:06
What would it take for you to become an atleast somewhat stereotypical RPG villan? The kind that spends a fair amount of time laughing evilly, striving for world domination, and killing and/or torturing people, often in large quantities. And what would you have done, had you been one?

As for me, the only things that would be needed for me to become one would be:
1. Some strange, stereotypical, all-encompassing power that I could (ab)use to take over the world, (and preferably also reinforces my maniacalness) and, unlike all those miserable failures of typical RPG villains, would use to become completely invulnerable.
2. Something to give me a gentle push over the edge. (by now that should be all that is needed for me to develop such a personality. i am already a bitter, cynical misanthrope that would love to destroy humanity while laughing insanely)

As for things that I would likely do:
1. Move to a large, floating island, orbiting the world, from where I would rule it as I see fit.
2. Atleast once, in the middle of a large city, I would throw fireballs and lightning bolts all around me, while laughing insanely.
3. Despite my outward apparance, involving the still-present fits of maniacal laugher, I would eventually become extremely rational, and purge the world of people unable to think and act purely according to ice-cold logic. (or, for those that would be of use, turn them into mindless slaves) Until their inevitable doom, they would learn to cover in fear before my terribly, terribly evil laugher.
4. Should I fail with #3, I would settle for the complete and utter destruction of the world.

What about you?
Purple Flying Hippos
20-12-2005, 02:11
Man. This one's easy. I'd just act like I normally do except on worldwide proportions and BAM- instant villian.
Vetalia
20-12-2005, 02:15
I'd be one of those cultured villains, with the suit and ascot, the classical music and the sumptuously appointed palace on my capital world. But at the same time, I'd give the order to annihilate entire planetary populations to crush incipient rebellion.
New Sans
20-12-2005, 02:15
Pretty much all it would take for a good amount of people is gaining incredible power or one moment that pushes you over the edge.

Of course what I'd be doing would probably replacing the world leaders with clones and screw around with world affairs. Of course with the way things are going today this is assuming someone hasn't already beaten me to it.
Purple Flying Hippos
20-12-2005, 02:16
I mean, come on, it's not that hard to go worldwide with anything.

1. Pick a good, attention-grabbing, preferably not perverted, name for yourself.

2. Go on as many forums as you can under this name and announce your intantions.

3. Make sure the point gets across.

4.Unleash your maniacal forces of hell and take over everything you can!!:mp5:
Purple Flying Hippos
20-12-2005, 02:24
But of course, there are the practical impossibilties. Like, what if everyone just launched a bunch of nukes. What then?
Cannot think of a name
20-12-2005, 02:26
I'd be one of those ones where the situation would be complicated and the heros in my story would be reluctant and after the twists and turns on the story unfold and they finally come to confront me it'll turn out that they've been used this entire time by the people who sent them and they're working for the wrong side and I've known but I've been letting them see it for themselves because I've also needed them to do what they're doing to bring the true evil of thier bosses to light.
Qwystyria
20-12-2005, 02:27
Not sure what it'd take to get me there, but I'd...

...be based out of a ruined castle on the edge of a Loch up in the Scottish highlands.

...ban most, if not all, pop music. Learn to appreciate classical music, folks. if you can make it have a good bass rhythm AND sound good, go for it, but none of this screeching trash.

...basically be just an all around world-wide wet blanket. :D :eek: :D
Posi
20-12-2005, 02:27
My master plan would have three simple phases:

Phase 1: Steal Underwear

Phase 3: Profit
The Archregimancy
20-12-2005, 02:29
I would live in an ever-changing and living Castle of Chaos that can both fly through the air in order to further my secret plan for world domination and drive mere mortals insane when exposed to its darkest secrets.

Otherwise, I'd also do the following:

1) when I build my Ultimate Weapon, I will not include a single tiny flaw that will allow that weapon to be destroyed.

2) But if it has to have a flaw, I won't record that flaw on a disc or other memory device containing the blueprints

3) No evil masterplan for world domination will be put into effect without first being examined for flaws by an average 5 year old child

4) Likewise, if my loyal lieutenant wishes to make a protest about the efficiency of my evil masterplan for world domination, I'll listen carefully and attempt to address his concerns instead of shooting him on the spot.

5) I will never engage in maniacal laughter. While deeply satisfying, it tends to distract you from the job at hand at a crucial moment.

6) I'll shoot the hero myself instead of ordering my loyal lieutenant to do it somewhere in the countryside.

7) If I must delegate the execution to my loyal lieutenant, I'll make it clear that he'll be shot himself unless he can produce a body.

8) If the hero says 'but before you kill me, don't you want to tell me the details of your evil masterplan?', I'll say 'no', and then shoot him.

9) When marrying the beautiful heiress to the throne, I'll do it immediately and secretly instead of in 7 days hence, in the main square of my domains.

10) The secret of my ultimate power will not be kept beyond the Forest of Fear in the Domain of Doom by the Lake of Lies guarded by the Dragon of Destruction. It'll be kept in the left breast pocket of my chic but practical world-ruling outfits. Much safer that way.
Avertide
20-12-2005, 02:30
Thing's it'd take:
1. The Acquisition of a position of power in either a Research Conglomerate or Powerful Government that would allow me to intrigue and politick and plot and scheme my way into opening a rift somewhere and getting power, lots and lots of power.
2. Another group of angry women try to kill me.
3. A gentle push down the slope to insanity.
4. Finding out my lover was a lesbian and/or she tries to kill me but only succeeds in scarring/maiming me.
5. Someone kills my dog and I can't get back at them with my current power so I plot and scheme and rise to power so I can destroy his/her entire family.
6. I went to a job fair and this is what they said I should do.

What I'd do:

1. Institute a unified economy.
2. Make University tuition free as long as a certain stand was kept.
3. Acquire the Powers of a God.
4. Become Immortal or close enough.
5. Colonize the moon/another planet
6. Massacre many of my people pointlessly merely because they disagreed with taking over the world/were part of the same religion as a group of terrorists and were from the same home region of said terrorists.
7. Begin mandatory Organ Harvesting
8. Genetically engineer the human race into my idea of the "Ultimate Life Form." Or rather Several ultimate life forms that I would make a certain number of each and have them each colonize a different world and then send a colony of each sentient race on the same planet and see what happened. And then do the same thing on another world except instigate them into fighting/hating eachother to see who would prevail.
9. Make the draft like the way the Swiss do it.
10. Start a genocidal war against the drow, killing the crazy priestesses and such, raising the children as our own, and using the surviving ones as genetic material/breeding stock in aforementioned quest for the ultimate sentient being.
11. Make a super-dwarf.
The Polaris Castes
20-12-2005, 02:34
First of all, I am an Evil Overlord. Sixteenth anniversary coming up since my joining the Brotherhood of Nefarious Plots (the good names were already taken). I feel I need to give some guidance to the lesser villains out there.

Here's what you need (and what I have, of course):

1) Evil laugh. Got to have an evil laugh. Mine is priceless.
2) Weird skin/body figures. I'm blue (*da ba dee da ba dai*) with black horns.
3) Zombies. Seriously. Throw enough zombies at anything and people listen to you (even if the zombies...you know...just sort of shuffle and clumsily bump into people whitest moaning like a manic depressant Goth during a sunrise)
4) Doom cannons. Can't get enough of those.
5) Vague superweapons that really just whiz, bang, and sparkle. Throw in a timer or something and make vague references to radioactive material and you can hold a country hostage. Or at least a Bavarian village. Either one.
6) Lizard men. Simply because they're fricken lizard men. End of discussion.
7) Lizard women. Besides the fact you need them to make more Lizard Men, let's think of this, what would you rather have: a sausage-fest or exotic scaled women who can crush a goat with their jaws. 'nuff said.
8) Your plan for world domination has to involve money, Russians, missiles, nuclear material, super-science, bloated and out-of-control private budgets, fat and corrupt politicians, skinny and corrupt politicians, something involving the moon, covalent bonding, and Dr. Doom.
9) You shall all bow down to me, you fools! GROVEL AT THE FEET OF YOUR LORD AND MASTER! I COMMAND YOU!

Coo.
The Jovian Moons
20-12-2005, 02:52
Take Zelda hostage. Repete over and over again no matter how many times Link kills me and or puts me in an inescapeable prison.
Czardas
20-12-2005, 02:56
I am already a good deal like a stereotypical RPG villain. Just on a far, far larger scale. ;)
Steel Butterfly
20-12-2005, 03:12
I'd be one of those cultured villains, with the suit and ascot, the classical music and the sumptuously appointed palace on my capital world. But at the same time, I'd give the order to annihilate entire planetary populations to crush incipient rebellion.

This sounds pretty close to what I'd do. I'd also most likely be one of those villains who really thinks that they are doing what is right, even though its completely wrong, because I'm like that...
Dishonorable Scum
20-12-2005, 03:28
What would it take for you to become an atleast somewhat stereotypical RPG villan? The kind that spends a fair amount of time laughing evilly, striving for world domination, and killing and/or torturing people, often in large quantities. And what would you have done, had you been one?

What do you mean? I already am a villain! Check out the following link: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=275202

:p
Lunatic Goofballs
20-12-2005, 03:31
All I need is omnipotence. I already have everything planned out. :)
Megaloria
20-12-2005, 03:32
Construct an orbital laser, reverse the Earth's revolution and eat the Moon.