NationStates Jolt Archive

Marriage, living together, same-sex, whatever. Anyone who is in a long-term stable relationship I'd like to pose a question to... because I'm really curious.

Situation is this. Last night we were REALLY tired. My husband was asleep even before I was, which is really rare. So when I got in bed I kinda snuggled up to him, cause he's warmer than I am and because I like him a little :p Just cuddled up to his back and laid my arm on his side. Now, within 15 minutes he was awake and ... 'randy'. I don't have any issues with that, just at that particular moment I was totally not expecting it. He was already asleep and I was 3/4 of the way there too.

I don't feel like I made any advances or anything, I just wanted to be close. I got thinking about it and maybe it's a gender thing, but I'm not really sure if that's the root so I wanted to leave it open. So...

Do you cuddle/snuggle with your significant other when there is no sex involved at all? Can you spoon up in bed together just to be near and to feel each other there, or must there be more hanky-panky (so to speak) ?

Me, I love a good cuddle and kiss together, and just hold each other for the whole night, then gradually drift off to sleep :)

I am a complete cuddlebug, i guess if it starts bothering you, just talk to him about it, but snuggling up to a guy is definitely a turn-on, hope that helps

Yeah, doesn't bother me, just was really curious if it was a general guy thing, or a relationship thing, or if my man is special :D

It does help to know that initiating a snuggle is a turn on, I'd never thought it would be really. Female logic or something I guess.

My ladyfriend and I cuddle all the time when we're together, and it's not a "pre-sex" thing. Also, I find that spooning is a very comfortable way to sleep or just rest.

When we're actually together, my fiancee and I cuddle every night, usually without sex; but then again she thinks my back is the perfect pillow so... ;)

He works graveyard so we don't sleep together very often. When we do sleep together however, we almost always cuddle without sex. I wish I had more sex. :(

Marriage, living together, same-sex, whatever. Anyone who is in a long-term stable relationship I'd like to pose a question to... because I'm really curious.

Situation is this. Last night we were REALLY tired. My husband was asleep even before I was, which is really rare. So when I got in bed I kinda snuggled up to him, cause he's warmer than I am and because I like him a little :p Just cuddled up to his back and laid my arm on his side. Now, within 15 minutes he was awake and ... 'randy'. I don't have any issues with that, just at that particular moment I was totally not expecting it. He was already asleep and I was 3/4 of the way there too.

I don't feel like I made any advances or anything, I just wanted to be close. I got thinking about it and maybe it's a gender thing, but I'm not really sure if that's the root so I wanted to leave it open. So...

Do you cuddle/snuggle with your significant other when there is no sex involved at all? Can you spoon up in bed together just to be near and to feel each other there, or must there be more hanky-panky (so to speak) ?
Of course. It doesn't take being in a long-term relationship for that, either; I have "snuggled" with lovers early on in relationships, as well as with platonic friends and family members.

We can, but it usually doesn't happen if he is already asleep, for some reason if I cuddle with him (or try to) and he is asleep (or almost asleep) he takes that as initiaition. I have no clue why. I usually go along with it, unless I am tired or sick or just really not in the mood, and those times I tell him I just wanted to cuddle and he cuddles. You may need to talk to your sig. other and let him know that sometimes you need cuddles, and then you still may need to give him fair warning, men sometimes don't understand cuddling, they may not get much out of it, or they may have been trying to get sex for so long, that it seems like a waste of time with someone they know will have sex with them.

Women need cuddles, you might talk to him about getting more daytime cuddles (hugs, holding hands, ect.) so that you are not cuddle deprived and waking him up in the middle of the night for them.

If all else fails, remember he would wake up from a deep sleep when he was really tired, to make love to you because he thought you wanted to. That is either someone who loves you, or someone who is really horny.........or both........I think both is better. ;)

most of this is probably because we're not planning on having sex until we get married, but my gf and i have no trouble cuddling, alone or with others, for a long or short time, without having sex. i can't say i've spent a night in her bed yet though...not until this christmas, anyways...but even then, after we get married, say, i think both of us will probably enjoy a good long cuddle more than sex. maybe not. can't wait to see.

on the other question, yes, having my gf snuggle up to me is definitely a turn on...and a guy thing. if i went too long without a cuddle, i think i would die. maybe i'm just weird that way.

My guy and I cuddle just about every night. If my back is hurting or something so I need to lie straight instead of cuddling up to him, he actually complains! =)

Sometimes a cuddle is an initiation for more, but those times are obvious because it is a cuddle plus some, as the French might say, inappropriate rubbing hehe.

My wife and I like to cuddle, and being naked and together does not always mean that sex is imminent.