NationStates Jolt Archive


Worst Film remake ever?

The Nazz
15-12-2005, 05:35
I was watching the original of The Manchurian Candidate this evening--I think it's one of the five best films ever made (and don't ask me the other four :D )--and I flashed back to that abomination of a remake that came out about a year and a half ago with Denzel Washington and Meryl Streep and Liev Schreiber. To cut the suspense, that one would top my list of worst remakes ever.

But in a recent thread of movies we all hate, I saw a lot of discussion of War of the Worlds, and with King Kong opening this week, I figured, what the hell--open up the floor to discussion. What's the worst remake ever and why?

For me, it's the remake of The Manchurian Candidate partly because I think the original is a masterpiece and that's hard to compete with, and partly because the remake went so far afield from the original--making Shaw the candidate and Marko the assassin, adding in a military spook/girlfriend, reducing John Iselin to a nobody of a character--ugh. So what's yours?
Lacadaemon
15-12-2005, 05:37
Psycho.
Greater Valia
15-12-2005, 05:41
Just saw King Kong today. Very good movie IMO.
The Black Forrest
15-12-2005, 05:41
With a doubt it's Sabrina.

The classic was Bogy, William Holden and Audry Hepburn

The new one was Harrison Ford, Greg Kinnear and Julia ormand.

The true statement was when I was watching the original at a theater that only shows the classics. Two women were behind me and I overheard one say "I saw the new one and I have to say this one is far more funny"

They remade Casablanca but I never saw it. I could not sour the taste. ;)

One they havent touched yet is Roman Holiday. Well a tv movie but I don't count those. ;)
The Nazz
15-12-2005, 05:42
They remade Casablanca but I never saw it. I could not sour the taste. ;)

Someone remade Casablanca? (Another one in my top five :D )
That couldn't possibly be good.
Bodies Without Organs
15-12-2005, 05:45
The Italian Job.

What teh (sic) fuck?
M3rcenaries
15-12-2005, 05:47
Remaking Casablanca would be like remaking "The Maltese Falcon"-- the black and white, soft voices, old style just really makes the movie.
The Nazz
15-12-2005, 05:47
The Italian Job.

What teh (sic) fuck?
You'll hate me, but I thought that was a fun little flick that didn't try to recreate the original as much as it tried to update it.
Bodies Without Organs
15-12-2005, 05:52
You'll hate me, but I thought that was a fun little flick that didn't try to recreate the original as much as it tried to update it.

Oh yes, it was so silly and dated with wide-boys making it big in the fields of Europe as it moved towards unification and local criminal gangs react to the changing map. Heck, they even had a hacker on their team - how archaic is that? Trying to update its portrayal of the 60's is like trying to colourise Modern Times.
Lacadaemon
15-12-2005, 05:55
The Italian Job.

What teh (sic) fuck?

I think it was an attemp to give BMW's ersatz mini coopers a modicum of cachet.

Speaking of which, Alfie was pretty dire too.
The Nazz
15-12-2005, 05:56
Speaking of which, Alfie was pretty dire too.
See, I didn't even bother giving that one a chance.
The Black Forrest
15-12-2005, 05:57
Someone remade Casablanca? (Another one in my top five :D )
That couldn't possibly be good.

Actually it's still safe. It turns out it was a TV SERIES!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084994/
Bodies Without Organs
15-12-2005, 06:00
I think it was an attemp to give BMW's ersatz mini coopers a modicum of cachet.

Yeah, I guess that if they surround them in a sea of vaccuous celluloid shite, dull-witted plot and pointless rehashing of tired cinematic cliches then they might come out looking like comparatively good ideas.

I can just see the advertising line now:

The NEW Mini

Not as half-witted an idea as remaking 'The Italian Job'
Khodros
15-12-2005, 06:00
Planet of the Fucking Apes. Worst remake ever.
The Nazz
15-12-2005, 06:01
Actually it's still safe. It turns out it was a TV SERIES!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084994/
I don't know if that's better or worse. Remember that horrible attempt to turn "A League of Their Own" into a tv series? (Not in my top five films ever :D )
The Nazz
15-12-2005, 06:01
Planet of the Fucking Apes. Worst remake ever.
In all fairness, the original was no work of art. It took a lot of effort to make the remake as bad as it turned out to be.
Pepe Dominguez
15-12-2005, 06:02
Remaking Casablanca would be like remaking "The Maltese Falcon"-- the black and white, soft voices, old style just really makes the movie.

Exactly... and it's just not possible to update a Peter Lorre role without losing something..
Lacadaemon
15-12-2005, 06:04
Yeah, I guess that if they surround them in a sea of vaccuous celluloid shite, dull-witted plot and pointless rehashing of tired cinematic cliches then they might come out looking like comparatively good ideas.

And you've just described almost every major marketing campaing of the last quarter century.


I can just see the advertising line now:

The NEW Mini

Not as half-witted an idea as remaking 'The Italian Job'

Can't argue with results.
Anarchic Conceptions
15-12-2005, 06:06
I was watching the original of The Manchurian Candidate this evening--I think it's one of the five best films ever made (and don't ask me the other four :D )--and I flashed back to that abomination of a remake that came out about a year and a half ago with Denzel Washington and Meryl Streep and Liev Schreiber. To cut the suspense, that one would top my list of worst remakes ever.

But in a recent thread of movies we all hate, I saw a lot of discussion of War of the Worlds, and with King Kong opening this week, I figured, what the hell--open up the floor to discussion. What's the worst remake ever and why?

For me, it's the remake of The Manchurian Candidate partly because I think the original is a masterpiece and that's hard to compete with, and partly because the remake went so far afield from the original--making Shaw the candidate and Marko the assassin, adding in a military spook/girlfriend, reducing John Iselin to a nobody of a character--ugh. So what's yours?

Though the remake was bad (extremely in comparison with the original), I hardly think it is the worst.

Trying to update its portrayal of the 60's is like trying to colourise Modern Times.

:eek: if there was ever a remake that would make me want to go on a Hollywood killing spree...

Speaking of which, Alfie was pretty dire too.

Get Carter

You'd think that Hollywood would have got it by now.


:EDIT:
I go with the travesty which was The Jackal
Pepe Dominguez
15-12-2005, 06:08
I think it'd be much easier to list Hollywood remakes that *weren't* disasters..

Lemme think... okay.. The John Carpenter version of The Thing was pretty neat, although I haven't seen the original.. that's all I got.
Lacadaemon
15-12-2005, 06:09
Get Carter

You'd think that Hollywood would have got it by now.

Thanks for reminding me about that. I had intentionally forgotten it.
Bodies Without Organs
15-12-2005, 06:09
Remaking Casablanca would be like remaking "The Maltese Falcon"-- the black and white, soft voices, old style just really makes the movie.

Someone vent their spleen and remind me how bad the remake of The Big Sleep from the 70's was. I appear to have fortuitously blocked it from memory.
Bodies Without Organs
15-12-2005, 06:10
I think it'd be much easier to list Hollywood remakes that *weren't* disasters..

The Magnificent Seven?
The Black Forrest
15-12-2005, 06:11
Exactly... and it's just not possible to update a Peter Lorre role without losing something..

Nobody could replace him! :D

Tangent useless info time:

One of the hunchos of my wifes old company has a picture of himself as a kid.

He is wearing the old skelton costume and has his hands up and going boo!

The ones goina "AHHHH!" are Peter Lorre, Boris Karloff, Vincent Price and Basil Rathbone.

His dad was a major stage manager or something.

Talk about a treasure!

Returning from the useless tangent.....
M3rcenaries
15-12-2005, 06:12
Someone vent their spleen and remind me how bad the remake of The Big Sleep from the 70's was. I appear to have fortuitously blocked it from memory.
I had until now...
Lacadaemon
15-12-2005, 06:14
The Magnificent Seven?

Adding spaceships did not make it cooler.
Pepe Dominguez
15-12-2005, 06:15
Nobody could replace him! :D

Tangent useless info time:

One of the hunchos of my wifes old company has a picture of himself as a kid.

He is wearing the old skelton costume and has his hands up and going boo!

The ones goina "AHHHH!" are Peter Lorre, Boris Karloff, Vincent Price and Basil Rathbone.

His dad was a major stage manager or something.

Talk about a treasure!

Returning from the useless tangent.....

Wow.. that'd be one sweet souvenir.. Lorre, Karloff and Price were all close friends, too.. dunno about Rathbone though..
Bodies Without Organs
15-12-2005, 06:15
I had until now...

Porn, drug-dealing, murder gangs... well, hey, obviously they needed to update it for the 70's, because there was no way people could relate to those things any more.
Pepe Dominguez
15-12-2005, 06:16
The Magnificent Seven?

Okay then, I think we're up to two confirmed cases of non-disaster.. :)
Bodies Without Organs
15-12-2005, 06:17
Adding spaceships did not make it cooler.

This is very true. Second mention for Battle Beyond The Stars on NSGeneral this week. This could be the start of a worrying trend.
Woodrow the 3rd
15-12-2005, 06:17
yea dude the planet of the apes with wahlberg or whatever really was crap. it was like watching a pig eating its young
The Black Forrest
15-12-2005, 06:19
Wow.. that'd be one sweet souvenir.. Lorre, Karloff and Price were all close friends, too.. dunno about Rathbone though..

I don't think so especially since my wife said Basil looked a little annoyed as in "alright get this over with 'ahhhh' can we go!" kind of way.

The other three looked like they were having fun.....
The Black Forrest
15-12-2005, 06:21
I think it'd be much easier to list Hollywood remakes that *weren't* disasters..

Lemme think... okay.. The John Carpenter version of The Thing was pretty neat, although I haven't seen the original.. that's all I got.

You mean the walking vegitable monster? It's campy but the new one was more intense then the original.....
Bodies Without Organs
15-12-2005, 06:21
Fuck me. How could I forget the abortion that was the remake of Bedazzled? Liz Hurley stepping into the shoes of Peter Cook. You would have thought that at one point all the coke would have run out just for a moment and someone might have asked themselves 'what the fuck are we doing?'.
Pepe Dominguez
15-12-2005, 06:23
I don't think so especially since my wife said Basil looked a little annoyed as in "alright get this over with 'ahhhh' can we go!" kind of way.

The other three looked like they were having fun.....

Yeah, the other three were a great team.. they helped out quite a bit with jobs and such, so you tend to see them appear as a group all over the place on the radio especially.
The Nazz
15-12-2005, 06:25
Fuck me. How could I forget the abortion that was the remake of Bedazzled? Liz Hurley stepping into the shoes of Peter Cook. You would have thought that at one point all the coke would have run out just for a moment and someone might have asked themselves 'what the fuck are we doing?'.
For me it wasn't Hurley so much as that other idiotic fuckwit Brendan Fraser. Has he ever been in a film worth seeing?
Cannot think of a name
15-12-2005, 06:29
Planet of the Fucking Apes. Worst remake ever.
Man that was a god-awful movie. However, I don't know neccisarily if it's the worst remake ever. It requires a honest consideration of the original, which is a campy classic, to be honest. (Don't get me wrong, I love the original Planet of the Apes)

Which actually calls a question to my mind.

What constitutes a bad remake? Why bother remaking a film if you're not going to bring something new to the approach? (by that standard, Psycho would be a top contender with its shot by shot replication) But, how much does the remake owe to the source material before it is a remake in name only? (The Italian Job, which at best has a similar hiest, same with Gone in 60 Seconds) Or is it just a bad movie that happens to also be a remake? (Barbed Wire, which really is the same plot as Casablanca. I saw it when some friends and I became enamored with taking the VW to the drive in and getting stoned through double features...the second film was The Usual Suspects, which actually when you think about it was clever programing on the drive-in's part...)

In conclusion (if you can call it that): In order to determine what is the worst remake one has to first determine the criteria by which remakes are measured.
Lacadaemon
15-12-2005, 06:30
For me it wasn't Hurley so much as that other idiotic fuckwit Brendan Fraser. Has he ever been in a film worth seeing?

Gods and Monsters maybe. Though I didn't personally care for it that much.
M3rcenaries
15-12-2005, 06:31
Havent seen teh first apes.. After the second one blew so bad I dont want to either.
Bodies Without Organs
15-12-2005, 06:33
For me it wasn't Hurley so much as that other idiotic fuckwit Brendan Fraser. Has he ever been in a film worth seeing?

* checks IMDB *

Apparently not.
Pepe Dominguez
15-12-2005, 06:33
Hmm... I guess, to add to the list of non-disastrous Hollywood remakes, I might nominate the Bruce Willis "Fistful of Dollars" knockoff, which, bad as it was, may or may not qualify as "disastrous.." I'll leave that up for speculation.. :confused:
The Black Forrest
15-12-2005, 06:35
Havent seen teh first apes.. After the second one blew so bad I dont want to either.

The first one was way better. The telepathic bomb worshipers was a bit strange....
Bodies Without Organs
15-12-2005, 06:38
The first one was way better. The telepathic bomb worshipers was a bit strange....

Careful not to spoil it for him, I think he was refering to the remake rather than to Beneath the Planet of the Apes. Now those were some skint special effects at the end of that film, even by the standards of the day.
Cannot think of a name
15-12-2005, 06:38
Hmm... I guess, to add to the list of non-disastrous Hollywood remakes, I might nominate the Bruce Willis "Fistful of Dollars" knockoff, which, bad as it was, may or may not qualify as "disastrous.." I'll leave that up for speculation.. :confused:
Was Last Man Standing a 'knockoff' of Fist Full of Dollars or Yojimbo? Did it owe more, stylisticlly to Leone or to Kurosawa? If it was soley narrative and Walter Hill added his own flair, then it would have to default to Kurosawa.

Actually, since I couldn't remember Walter Hill's last name I looked the movie up on imdb, where it credits Kurosawa with the story.
Lacadaemon
15-12-2005, 06:39
Oooh, Swept Away was by all accounts the most awful movie ever. I've kept myself pure with respect to madonna films however, so I have no personal knowledge.
The Nazz
15-12-2005, 06:40
Man that was a god-awful movie. However, I don't know neccisarily if it's the worst remake ever. It requires a honest consideration of the original, which is a campy classic, to be honest. (Don't get me wrong, I love the original Planet of the Apes)

Which actually calls a question to my mind.

What constitutes a bad remake? Why bother remaking a film if you're not going to bring something new to the approach? (by that standard, Psycho would be a top contender with its shot by shot replication) But, how much does the remake owe to the source material before it is a remake in name only? (The Italian Job, which at best has a similar hiest, same with Gone in 60 Seconds) Or is it just a bad movie that happens to also be a remake? (Barbed Wire, which really is the same plot as Casablanca. I saw it when some friends and I became enamored with taking the VW to the drive in and getting stoned through double features...the second film was The Usual Suspects, which actually when you think about it was clever programing on the drive-in's part...)

In conclusion (if you can call it that): In order to determine what is the worst remake one has to first determine the criteria by which remakes are measured.
Goddammit, you have to go and bring critical skills to the discussion. :D

Here's my criteria--how great was the original and how well has it stood the test of time? In other words, is trying to remake the film akin to trying to repaint the Mona Lisa? That's what the remake of the Manchurian Candidate was to me. That's how I would recoil at a modern remake of Casablanca.

So I don't feel bad about a remake of the Italian Job, because while the original was good, it wasn't a top five of all time film to me, and so I have less invested emotionally.
Pepe Dominguez
15-12-2005, 06:45
Was Last Man Standing a 'knockoff' of Fist Full of Dollars or Yojimbo? Did it owe more, stylisticlly to Leone or to Kurosawa? If it was soley narrative and Walter Hill added his own flair, then it would have to default to Kurosawa.


I'd have to see Yojimbo to compare, but it's pretty hard to imagine it being more faithful to the Leone version than it was..
Bodies Without Organs
15-12-2005, 06:48
Here's my criteria--how great was the original and how well has it stood the test of time?

Criterion.
The Black Forrest
15-12-2005, 06:50
Criterion.

Back grammer nazi! ;)
Cannot think of a name
15-12-2005, 06:51
Goddammit, you have to go and bring critical skills to the discussion. :D

Here's my criteria--how great was the original and how well has it stood the test of time? In other words, is trying to remake the film akin to trying to repaint the Mona Lisa? That's what the remake of the Manchurian Candidate was to me. That's how I would recoil at a modern remake of Casablanca.

So I don't feel bad about a remake of the Italian Job, because while the original was good, it wasn't a top five of all time film to me, and so I have less invested emotionally.
Sorry, I'm in one of those moods today I guess. It might be that I'm mentally bracing for having to defend why I liked King Kong.

In this case then I would have to say it seems what is the worst candidate for a remake that actually got made. In which case I'd have to agree that Manchurian Candidate is certainly up there. Psycho, too, ranks as it was a nearly perfect film to begin with and modernization doesn't seem to add anything to it. It actually detracts because the original already introduced the 'regular' man killer into the public conscience and the film cannon, so it cannot have the same impact or meaning. Ill concieved on all accounts.

I actually can't think of worse examples given that criteria.
Bodies Without Organs
15-12-2005, 06:52
Back grammer nazi! ;)

* resists the bait suspecting a trap *
The Black Forrest
15-12-2005, 06:53
* resists the bait suspecting a trap *

Awwww! :D
Bodies Without Organs
15-12-2005, 06:53
I actually can't think of worse examples given that criteria.

Obviously my battle here is lost before it is even begun.
Bodies Without Organs
15-12-2005, 06:55
Awwww! :D

Would you prefer it if I said 'For you, Tommy, the erratic sentence construction is over' in a dodgy Germanic accent?
Pepe Dominguez
15-12-2005, 06:57
I'm still trying to think of some others... Scarface was a decent remake, too, I think.. the Pacino version.. a rare non-disaster there. :)
Cannot think of a name
15-12-2005, 06:58
I'd have to see Yojimbo to compare, but it's pretty hard to imagine it being more faithful to the Leone version than it was..
It's really a question that I wonder, is when you get to the third or more re-make, what source material gets the credit? Fist was a remake (sort of, it was cowboys instead of swordfighters) of Yojimbo-do you consider Last Man just another remake of Yojimbo (now with gangsters) or of the second, and how do you make that decision?
Bodies Without Organs
15-12-2005, 06:58
I think it'd be much easier to list Hollywood remakes that *weren't* disasters..

Ooooh: Dawn Of The Dead. Different, but not a disaster. But, hey, I'll concede that any film which has The Jim Carroll Band playing over the end credits is going to win acceptance points from me quite easily.
New Rafnaland
15-12-2005, 07:03
Sorry, I'm in one of those moods today I guess. It might be that I'm mentally bracing for having to defend why I liked King Kong.

In this case then I would have to say it seems what is the worst candidate for a remake that actually got made. In which case I'd have to agree that Manchurian Candidate is certainly up there. Psycho, too, ranks as it was a nearly perfect film to begin with and modernization doesn't seem to add anything to it. It actually detracts because the original already introduced the 'regular' man killer into the public conscience and the film cannon, so it cannot have the same impact or meaning. Ill concieved on all accounts.

I actually can't think of worse examples given that criteria.

Except for the fact that the original was yanked shortly after it was released and wasn't seen again until the 80s. It, therefore, lacked the ability to espress a significant social or cultural message and so it was Dr. Strangelove that carried the day in that arena. The re-make I thought was pretty good, as a movie. It may not be a good re-make, but it's cultural/social message is much more poignant to us that the original would be to us. And certainly more important to us than the original was to the generation that could have seen it when it first released, shortly before the assassination of JFK.
Saint Curie
15-12-2005, 07:07
The worst was the remake of "The Usual Suspects", the one starring Ben Affleck, Lance Bass, Keanu Reeves, Eric Roberts, and with Wayne Brady as "Finster"...

or maybe that was just a fevered hallucination I had when I ate that seafood salad I found at the park...
Anybodybutbushia
15-12-2005, 07:08
I was relieved to see that this thread wasn't about Kong.

I hated the Dracula remake.
Cannot think of a name
15-12-2005, 07:11
Except for the fact that the original was yanked shortly after it was released and wasn't seen again until the 80s. It, therefore, lacked the ability to espress a significant social or cultural message and so it was Dr. Strangelove that carried the day in that arena. The re-make I thought was pretty good, as a movie. It may not be a good re-make, but it's cultural/social message is much more poignant to us that the original would be to us. And certainly more important to us than the original was to the generation that could have seen it when it first released, shortly before the assassination of JFK.
Are you talking about Psycho or The Manchurian Candidate? It seems like your responding to my comments about Psycho as if they where about Manchurian Candidate.
Cannot think of a name
15-12-2005, 07:18
I was relieved to see that this thread wasn't about Kong.

I hated the Dracula remake.
I don't know if that counts as a remake, though, as much as another attempt at the source material. Otherwise we'd have to consider the Lugosi Dracula a remake of Murnau's Nosferatu. Considering that (they claim at least) that the Oldman Dracula was supposed to be more faithful to the book it would be more of a(nother) adaptation.
Bodies Without Organs
15-12-2005, 07:22
I don't know if that counts as a remake, though, as much as another attempt at the source material. Otherwise we'd have to consider the Lugosi Dracula a remake of Murnau's Nosferatu. Considering that (they claim at least) that the Oldman Dracula was supposed to be more faithful to the book it would be more of a(nother) adaptation.


... nevermind the fact that both The Manchurian Candidate and Psycho were originally novels by Richard Condon and Robert Bloch respectively before they were made into films...
Cannot think of a name
15-12-2005, 07:26
... nevermind the fact that both The Manchurian Candidate and Psycho were originally novels by Richard Condon and Robert Bloch respectively before they were made into films...
A fair point. In the case of Psycho I would argue that it would be considered a remake given how much consideration for the Hitchcock movie was taken, down to the shot list.
New Rafnaland
15-12-2005, 07:29
Are you talking about Psycho or The Manchurian Candidate? It seems like your responding to my comments about Psycho as if they where about Manchurian Candidate.

I'm insane. Ignore my comments at will.
Demented Hamsters
15-12-2005, 07:56
I haven't seen the original Machurian Candidate, but I could scarcely believe it could be as big a turkey as the new version. That one sucked big time. It was dreadful. Dreadful! Totally crap and completely implausible.

However...
The worst remake ever imo would have to be Mel Gibson's remake of 'Life of Brian'. That was terrible.
Cannot think of a name
15-12-2005, 08:07
-snip-

However...
The worst remake ever imo would have to be Mel Gibson's remake of 'Life of Brian'. That was terrible.
Zing!
Anybodybutbushia
15-12-2005, 08:14
I don't know if that counts as a remake, though, as much as another attempt at the source material. Otherwise we'd have to consider the Lugosi Dracula a remake of Murnau's Nosferatu. Considering that (they claim at least) that the Oldman Dracula was supposed to be more faithful to the book it would be more of a(nother) adaptation.

Does that discount The Shining as a remake? That movie also choked on big hairy donkey penis but the intent of the movie was to stay faithful to the book where the Jack Nicholson classic strayed at points.
Cannot think of a name
15-12-2005, 08:21
Does that discount The Shining as a remake? That movie also choked on big hairy donkey penis but the intent of the movie was to stay faithful to the book where the Jack Nicholson classic strayed at points.
I'd say so. There where very little similarities between the Kubrick version and the tv version, and that was almost by design. I haven't read the book, but all the hype of the tv version was that it was pretty close. Kubrick made it better, for me at least.

For some reason what sticks for me as an example of what a dropped ball that tv version was involved the moving hedges. Everytime he looked back the hedges where in a new position. Creepy. Right before commercial (another problem) we get a long shot with his back turned and the hedges are now computer animated and moving. Silly, and removes all the creepy feeling that the hedges had just built. Just crappy filmmaking there, like an artist who keeps painting too long.
Anybodybutbushia
15-12-2005, 08:31
For some reason what sticks for me as an example of what a dropped ball that tv version was involved the moving hedges. Everytime he looked back the hedges where in a new position. Creepy. Right before commercial (another problem) we get a long shot with his back turned and the hedges are now computer animated and moving. Silly, and removes all the creepy feeling that the hedges had just built. Just crappy filmmaking there, like an artist who keeps painting too long.

Yep, the hedges did look ridiculous. The book was a great read. Another problem with the TV movie is that King was involved in the project. When he gets involved you end up with Maximum Overdrive and The (newer) Shining - when he is not involved, you get The (original) Shining, The Shawshank Redemption and Misery. When I read about him working on one of his book to movie projects I know it is going to suck. Great writer - movies aren't his bag.
Jester III
15-12-2005, 11:55
Psycho.
Worst. remake. ever.

Nattevagten/Nightwatch
Lost its charm. Totally.

La femme Nikita/Point of no return
Why? Anne Parillaud is more interesting than Bridget Fonda, Luc Besson is a good director, the drama is more intriguing and has more depth.
BackwoodsSquatches
15-12-2005, 12:59
For me it wasn't Hurley so much as that other idiotic fuckwit Brendan Fraser. Has he ever been in a film worth seeing?


Yes.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105327/



COOOWAAAAARRDS!
Embliria
15-12-2005, 13:03
Psycho.

&& The Time Machine.
BackwoodsSquatches
15-12-2005, 13:05
&& The Time Machine.


O! Verily there was much suckage!

The gates of Suck Hell did open, and the crap runneth over.

I wished I had that time machine to get the hour and a half of my life back.
Hooray for boobs
15-12-2005, 13:11
the stallone version of Get Carter

ug
Cromotar
15-12-2005, 13:24
I'll have to go with The Haunting. The remake took a classic creepy ghost story and turned it into a special effect sh*tfest.
Bob McQueen
15-12-2005, 13:31
worst film remake is without a doubt the new italian job. on its own it is a gd film but to try and tag onto the success of a classic film was wrong and for that reason it suckd!
Myrmidonisia
15-12-2005, 13:57
The remake of Sabrina stunk because it didn't have a young and beautiful Audrey Hepburn in it, but the real stinker that I have seen lately is "Deeds". That's the Adam Sandler remake of the Gary Cooper picture, "Mr Deeds Goes to Town".
Falhaar2
15-12-2005, 15:42
One word.

ROLLERBALL

What the fuck was that about?! John McTiernan broke my heart with that one. The man who made "Die Hard" and "Predator" utterly fucking up one of the greatest sci-fi action films of all time. For God's sake there was a 20 minute sequence shot through NIGHT VISION!

The original ruled. You had an awesome sport you could actually understand, well-acted characters and a meaningful story on top of brutal action.

The remake was Satan's revenge on the eyeballs and eardrums of humanity.
Laenis
15-12-2005, 15:57
I know one remake that I haven't yet seen, but I am very much dreading. They are going to try to remake The Wicker Man, set in America obviously with a kind of matriachal society and some crazy killer bees chucked in.

I really love the original, and no doubt the remake won't be able to do it justice. Hollywood just plain isn't very good at remaking British films, like Get Carter, The Italian Job, Alfie etc. I can just imagine the main character in the remake grabbing a shotgun near the end and saying something like "Let's bust some heathen asses!" before going on some rampage.
Deep Kimchi
15-12-2005, 15:59
Planet of the Fucking Apes. Worst remake ever.
Agreed.
Tibetia
15-12-2005, 16:02
Godzilla!

The 1998 piece of garbage with Matthew Broderick!

I can still smell the stench...
The Nazz
15-12-2005, 18:06
One word.

ROLLERBALL

What the fuck was that about?! John McTiernan broke my heart with that one. The man who made "Die Hard" and "Predator" utterly fucking up one of the greatest sci-fi action films of all time. For God's sake there was a 20 minute sequence shot through NIGHT VISION!

The original ruled. You had an awesome sport you could actually understand, well-acted characters and a meaningful story on top of brutal action.

The remake was Satan's revenge on the eyeballs and eardrums of humanity.
The author of the short story was a teacher where I went to grad school, and he said they ripped the soul out of his story when they remade the film. He didn't have any problems cashing the check, however.
-Magdha-
15-12-2005, 18:18
Psycho.

Agreed.
Cannot think of a name
15-12-2005, 18:19
Godzilla!

The 1998 piece of garbage with Matthew Broderick!

I can still smell the stench...
I had scared over this. I am a huge (excuse the sorta pun) Godzilla fan and this was just plain old abuse.

What I did like was Toho's Godzilla 2000, which to me seemed like a resonse. An alien comes in, tries to clone Godzilla and then consume the original only to have the original destroy the imposter. And the imposter looked a bit like the IguanaZilla.
Falhaar2
15-12-2005, 18:23
I had scared over this. I am a huge (excuse the sorta pun) Godzilla fan and this was just plain old abuse.

What I did like was Toho's Godzilla 2000, which to me seemed like a resonse. An alien comes in, tries to clone Godzilla and then consume the original only to have the original destroy the imposter. And the imposter looked a bit like the IguanaZilla. In the most recent Godzilla film. "Godzilla: Final Wars", a battle is featured between Godzilla and the infamous GINO (Godzilla In Name Only), where Godzilla naturally kicks his ass.
Falhaar2
15-12-2005, 18:25
The author of the short story was a teacher where I went to grad school, and he said they ripped the soul out of his story when they remade the film. He didn't have any problems cashing the check, however.Was there anything of the original story LEFT in the remake anyway? The only thing that I could see which was similar was the title.
Cannot think of a name
15-12-2005, 18:27
In the most recent Godzilla film. "Godzilla: Final Wars", a battle is featured between Godzilla and the infamous GINO (Godzilla In Name Only), where Godzilla naturally kicks his ass.
I haven't found that one yet. I can't remember the name of the last Godzilla movie I bought, it was recent but I don't think it was Final Wars. It was the one where MechaGodzilla goes nuts because it has Godzilla ribs in it.
The Nazz
15-12-2005, 18:28
Was there anything of the original story LEFT in the remake anyway? The only thing that I could see which was similar was the title.
I didn't watch the remake--and not because of any loyalty for the original, which I felt was dated and could have used an re-envisioning or a modernization--because the previews sucked so badly.

I suppose I should also note that I was no fan of the teacher, either--he was, as so many writers are, a self-absorbed, arrogant asshole, and he surrounded himself with similar types.
Exetonia
15-12-2005, 18:41
definately dawn of the dead... It would have been very good if it wasnt a remake!!!! It lost everything that the original movie had going for it IMO...

Everything that made the original worth watching..
Stelleriana
15-12-2005, 19:11
rollerball.
Minoriteeburg
15-12-2005, 19:13
The Longest Yard & Mr Deeds
The Black Forrest
15-12-2005, 19:49
Godzilla!

The 1998 piece of garbage with Matthew Broderick!

I can still smell the stench...

Ewww yea that was horrible.

I can still hear the helicopter pilot "he's after me; he's after me!"

Fly up you asshole!

Never mind the giant footprint and the "hey what made this and where did it go?" bits.......

I still want my money back for the rental! ;)
The Black Forrest
15-12-2005, 19:54
Hmmm

I will throw out Titanic since nobody mentioned it.

"A night to remember" is where camron got a great deal of "his" ideas.....

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0051994/