NationStates Jolt Archive


Something Women Can't Do

Deep Kimchi
14-12-2005, 16:29
I've finally found it. Yes, men can't have babies, but they can pull large vehicles with their uniquely male anatomy.

Fass would be proud.

http://www.99qigong.com/



Well, he's married, and his wife is VERY happy...

http://www.insidebayarea.com/trivalleyherald/localnews/ci_3244979

FREMONT — The ancient Greeks worshipped it. Sigmund Freud said women envy it. And on Tuesday, a man pulled a truck with it.

Yes, you read that right.

He pulled a truck with his penis.

Grandmaster Tu Jin-Sheng, best known for his Iron Crotch, attached himself not once, but twice, to a rental moving truck and pulled it several yards across a parking lot in Fremont. In lace-up leather boots and a black tank top, the 50-year-old tied a strip of blue fabric around the base of his penis and testicles and tugged to make sure it was on tight. An assistant kicked him hard between the legs before he lashed himself to the vehicle.

He groaned, grunted and pressed against two men for resistance.

Then, slowly, the truck began to roll forward.

About 20 people, most of whom study Qigong, the ancient Chinese art of movement and breathing to increase energy, gathered for the truck pull in an unassuming office park just off Interstate 880.

A documentary film director and producer from London were on hand to shoot the jaw-dropping feat for a three-part series called Penis Envy, scheduled to air next year on Channel 4 in the United Kingdom. Footage from the truck pull will be used for the series piece on building the perfect penis.

He's very special. Powerful. Superman, said an awe-struck Shawnee Wang, who studies Qigong with Jin-Sheng at his gym in Cupertino. I just came here to watch my master perform.

Jin-Sheng, the grandmaster of Iron Crotch, a branch of Qigong also known as 99 Qigong, is said to have 60,000 followers worldwide. Its practitioners are known to lift hundreds of pounds with their genitals to increase energy and sexual performance. One of Jin-Shengs most famous students, a 70-year-old man in Taiwan, is said to have lifted more than 660 pounds with his penis. The grandmaster teaches Iron Crotch and Qigong in Fremont and Cupertino.

Jin-Shengs performance drew a hearty applause (and only a few gasps) from the sparse crowd. He wrapped a piece of fabric around his waist to conceal his genitals from the crowd, but in the heat of the second truck pull, when he tied the cloth around his testicles only, it was pushed aside to reveal a ball of flesh that looked ready to burst.

Jin-Sheng wiped the sweat from his brow after the show and said through an interpreter that he felt comfortable and warm.

When asked if he was in any pain, he laughed.

If its painful, he said, then you will see it bleed.

His wife, Sandy, snapped photos while her husband warmed up and then pulled the truck. The couple originally is from Taiwan and has lived in San Jose since 2003. They have four children, two boys and two girls, all of whom are top martial arts students.

So is Sandy the envy of her friends?

Yes, she said, flashing a wide smile. Of course.

Jin-Sheng was featured in the April 2005 edition of Penthouse magazine, in a story titled Facts and Phalluses of Americas Favorite Organ. In November 2003, he and his penis made the Weekly World News.

He believes that the sexual organs are a source of great power, said Gene Ching, associate publisher of the Fremont-based Kung Fu Magazine, which claims to have introduced Jin-Sheng to the United States and featured him on its March/April 2003 cover. So its sort of a vitality exercise.

Ching, who does not study

GRANDMASTER Tu Jin-Sheng is kicked in the crotch during his penis-pull warm-up in Fremont on Tuesday. (Anda Chu - Staff)
Iron Crotch, has heard that it does help in the bedroom.

I imagine that if you can tow a truck, that is going to give you some skills, he said.

The grandmaster said the most challenging object he ever has pulled was a 60-foot truck — and that was with another man. These days, however, hes looking to up the ante. Jin-Sheng hopes to strap a dozen of his top students to a 747 for the biggest penis pull of all time. All he needs is an airplane.

What can you say? said Krishna Govender, the documentary film director who came from London specifically to meet Jin-Sheng and watch him work.

The strength of this guy — its phenomenal.

Govender has seen and heard many things during the making of the documentary. He flew to Russia to meet a doctor who grew a penis on a mans arm and later grafted it to his genitals. He interviewed countless men about their most private, and treasured, possession.

But he never had seen a man pull a truck with one.

The most fraught relationship is that between man and his penis, he said. Its the most enduring one, as well.

For more information about Jin-Sheng and Iron Crotch, go to http://www.99qigong.com.
Deep Kimchi
14-12-2005, 16:43
bump
I V Stalin
14-12-2005, 18:18
He wrapped a piece of fabric around his waist to conceal his genitals from the crowd, but in the heat of the second truck pull, when he tied the cloth around his testicles only, it was pushed aside to reveal a ball of flesh that looked ready to burst.
:eek: He's clearly insane.
Liskeinland
14-12-2005, 18:31
Men can think rationally whilst pulling the truck as well!
Vaitupu
14-12-2005, 19:09
my first thought was that men can pee their names in the snow.

but pulling a truck with your penis was my second guess.
Hullepupp
14-12-2005, 19:22
[QUOTE=Vaitupu]my first thought was that men can pee their names in the snow.

QUOTE]

Do you think woman are not able to do ?
Sure it looks more funny , but why not?
Deep Kimchi
14-12-2005, 19:24
[QUOTE=Vaitupu]my first thought was that men can pee their names in the snow.

QUOTE]

Do you think woman are not able to do ?
Sure it looks more funny , but why not?

I can't see a day when women will be able to lift 300 kg with their penis.
Deep Kimchi
14-12-2005, 21:24
Bump for Fass...
Neo Kervoskia
14-12-2005, 21:26
Not even Tribes could do that.
Santa Barbara
14-12-2005, 21:28
Jesus.
HC Eredivisie
14-12-2005, 21:36
Jesus.
Ye, he could do that too.
Brady Bunch Perm
14-12-2005, 21:37
I once went bowling with my penis, but, my phallic discipline clearly is not at that level. :(
Zero Six Three
14-12-2005, 21:45
I once went bowling with my penis, but, my phallic discipline clearly is not at that level. :(
So you gave up!? What kind of man are you!?
VanAtta
14-12-2005, 21:58
I wonder how much weight he can actually pull with his penis...what's his max?
Syniks
14-12-2005, 22:09
Though the penis pull was posted before, Kimchi got me thinking...

Maybe not with a penis... but just think about that built-in towing socket er... Fass... err... never mind.... :eek: :p
Keruvalia
14-12-2005, 22:19
the grandmaster of Iron Crotch

I gotta be honest with you ... that's not really a title of which to be proud.
Dorstfeld
14-12-2005, 22:28
Concise answers, hehe.


Example: How much is 2 + 2 ?

Man: "Four."

Woman:

"You know fully well how much I dislike the way you're asking me these questions...inconsiderable, selfish bastard...purposely wind me up...you don't really appreciate me...if you really loved me...only yesterday...of course YOU don't remember a thing, but I do...all you ever think about is yourself..."

...10 hours later...

" and then, the way you looked at that blonde bimbo last night...you think I didn't notice...you never loved me...pack your stuff and go...I HATE you!!!..."

...to all infinity

/ducks and covers
[NS]Cybach
14-12-2005, 22:35
Concise answers, hehe.


Example: How much is 2 + 2 ?

Man: "Four."

Woman:

"You know fully well how much I dislike the way you're asking me these questions...inconsiderable, selfish bastard...purposely wind me up...you don't really appreciate me...if you really loved me...only yesterday...of course YOU don't remember a thing, but I do...all you ever think about is yourself..."

...10 hours later...

" and then, the way you looked at that blonde bimbo last night...you think I didn't notice...you never loved me...pack your stuff and go...I HATE you!!!..."

...to all infinity

/ducks and covers


Too true :D
Meat-Facist Feminazis
14-12-2005, 22:42
oh dear. you realise your life isnt worth livig when those bastards at the factories and the co-operatives make their living by selling jeesus crackers for hugely inflated prices, aparently for their 'spiritual qualities'...well i say, 'no'. and 'platforms'.
Nureonia
14-12-2005, 22:52
oh dear. you realise your life isnt worth livig when those bastards at the factories and the co-operatives make their living by selling jeesus crackers for hugely inflated prices, aparently for their 'spiritual qualities'...well i say, 'no'. and 'platforms'.

What?
Lunatic Goofballs
14-12-2005, 23:25
I gotta be honest with you ... that's not really a title of which to be proud.

Speak for yourself. :p
Megaloria
14-12-2005, 23:50
I wonder how much weight he can actually pull with his penis...what's his max?

The day he finds out is the day he loses his claim to fame.
Heron-Marked Warriors
15-12-2005, 00:11
The day he finds out is the day he loses his claim to fame.

Yeah, because the world is crawling with guys who pull trucks with their penises.
Vaitupu
15-12-2005, 01:21
[QUOTE=Vaitupu]my first thought was that men can pee their names in the snow.

QUOTE]

Do you think woman are not able to do ?
Sure it looks more funny , but why not?
well, they would have to run fast...unless they have short names...
Megaloria
15-12-2005, 01:23
Yeah, because the world is crawling with guys who pull trucks with their penises.

No, you misunderstand.

The moment he discovers his limit, he LOSES his claim to fame. as in, "put it on ice or they'll never salvage ANYTHING."
Myotisinia
15-12-2005, 01:25
Cybach']Too true :D

I plead the fifth. That post is way too close to the truth to be funny.......

ok, I laughed. But don't tell my wife.
Deep Kimchi
15-12-2005, 01:31
I wonder how much weight he can actually pull with his penis...what's his max?
If you figure that he can, with his legs spread between two tables, lift 300 kg off the ground with it, and move a truck with it...

he can probably lift his wife off of her feet, no problem.
Santa Barbara
15-12-2005, 02:50
Ye, he could do that too.

They say Jesus was well-hung.
Kryozerkia
15-12-2005, 02:59
That is the stupid thing I've ever read and I've read my boyfriend's blog when he wrote while high...
Kiwi-kiwi
15-12-2005, 03:09
I can't see a day when women will be able to lift 300 kg with their penis.

But imagine if one could do it with her clitoris. :eek:
Keruvalia
15-12-2005, 03:41
You know ... the more I think about this, the more I realise that if women *could* do this, they'd choose not to ... because it's stupid.

So ... Women win.