NationStates Jolt Archive

Forcing people to eat the precursors of chemical warfare agents is definitely a no-no, especially in the confines of a passenger aircraft on a long flight... and they don't even give the passengers a gas mask...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/12/12/AR2005121201201_pf.html

Imagine this: You're about to set off with the secretary of state for Central Asia, a destination halfway around the world, on two back-to-back seven-hour flights in a packed 757 -- and the first meal served is a teeming bowl of pork and beans.

Of all the contentious issues on any trip by the secretary of state, food tops the list. Despite the heroic efforts of dedicated and good-natured military crews to craft miracles from abysmal menus, Air Force Two's food has become notorious.

Almost everyone has a story, comment or recommendation. "I don't think you understand the depth of hatred for wing-dings among the staff," said Jim Wilkinson, one of Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice's inner circle. "We're not sure what kind of wings they are. Some people hate the meatballs, but most hate the wing-dings. They violate the laws of war, the Geneva Convention and the international convention on torture. They're sooo bad."

In what is now known as the Great Wing-Ding Coup, Wilkinson led a revolt this month to forever banish the chicken wings from the State Department plane.

But there are other complaints about Air Force cooking. "The burrito, it almost took me down," said the secretary's special assistant, Josie Duckett, who got sick during a stop in Tajikistan.

Eating beans and burritos on a plane is a BAD idea...

*farts*

Reminds me of "Blazing Saddles." That campfire scene is so hilarious when they are all farting.

Next time they should just make it BYOL.

Mmmh - Beans...
http://www.studip.uni-goettingen.de/pictures/smile/errr.gifhttp://www.studip.uni-goettingen.de/pictures/smile/fart.gifhttp://www.studip.uni-goettingen.de/pictures/smile/errr.gif

Addendum to the prior report:

Accusations (as well as odiferous gasses,) are swirling amidst allegations that an incendiary "blue flame" device was detonated aboard an Air Force Two flight carrying Condoleeza Rice, her State Department staff and several reporters. No injuries were reported and no comments were forthcoming but an anonymous State Dept. official confirms that a decontamination crew was dispatched to clear up the smell of methane and scorched gabardine.

So, did Condi secretly release chemical weapons over Europe on her last trip?

Next time they should just make it BYOL.

The plastic sandwich bags could be considered a suffocation device and you would be held up at check-in for an hour and a half. I hate air travel.

The plastic sandwich bags could be considered a suffocation device and you would be held up at check-in for an hour and a half. I hate air travel.
make em eat MREs for now on!!!!!!!!!!

The plastic sandwich bags could be considered a suffocation device and you would be held up at check-in for an hour and a half. I hate air travel.
Darn. What about a couple of apples and a banana?

Darn. What about a couple of apples and a banana?
You've obviously never been attacked by a wild man wielding a banana...

You've obviously never been attacked by a wild man wielding a banana...

No worries, just drop a 16 ton weight on them or release a tiger.

No worries, just drop a 16 ton weight on them or release a tiger.
But what if I don't have a 16 ton weight on the airplane?

But what if I don't have a 16 ton weight on the airplane?

You, obviously, haven't watched enough Monty Python.

You, obviously, haven't watched enough Monty Python.
Oh, yes I have. Well, what if he doesn't have a banana...

Eating beans and burritos on a plane is a BAD idea...
Perhaps that was the "bomb" to which the guy who was shot a couple weeks ago was referring! :eek:

Oh, yes I have. Well, what if he doesn't have a banana...

What about a pointed stick?

US is making a sport out of violating international law and stuff like that... nothing new there! :rolleyes:

US is making a sport out of violating international law and stuff like that... nothing new there! :rolleyes:

Okay, this lack of humor makes those of us who are anti-Bush/neo-con/Republican look bad. Did you read the OP? It's a joke post. Sheesh.

If your post contained humor, I don't see it.

You, obviously, haven't watched enough Monty Python.
Can a swallow carry a coconut across a continent? I wonder..........:confused:

well, if some thug comes up behind you with a batch of loganberries don't come crying to me!

US is making a sport out of violating international law and stuff like that... nothing new there! :rolleyes:
You should talk to the Minister of Silly Walks!! He'll know what to do!:D

...and now for something completely different...

they should serve taco bell or mcdonalds on planes, they would make billioins from just selling the food.

Pugna']they should serve taco bell or mcdonalds on planes, they would make billioins from just selling the food.

Better yet, departments of the government and states should sell naming rights to major corporations. The State Department could be the McDonald's Department or McDonald's presents The State Department.. Washington State could be renamed Microsoftland. And so on.

Pugna']they should serve taco bell or mcdonalds on planes, they would make billioins from just selling the food.
Actually, I think that has been seriously proposed by at least one airline before. :)

Perhaps they were searching for the Holy Grail (http://www.joked.com/view.php?id=587&t=Monte_Python_-_I_Fart_In_Your_General_Direction&item_nr=8&total=28)?

What about a pointed stick?
Obviously, the air marshals were ready for a man with loganberries, because they shot him...

Can a swallow carry a coconut across a continent? I wonder..........:confused:

A laden swallow? African or European?