Cahnt
13-12-2005, 13:28
Top 30 facts on Mr T
30. Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
29. Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.
28. Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
27. Mr. T pities fools because even fools deserves their daily dose of vitamin T.
26. Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.
25. Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
24. Yoda had two sons. To one he taught pity, to the other he gave the gift of the beard.
23. 20,000; That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
22. On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.
21. Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
20. Despite popular belief, Mr. T in fact ended the civil rights movement by getting on a bus....all caucasian people moved to the back.
19. Mr. T once shook hands with Chuck Norris, or so it appeared, in actuality, their combined power caused an earthquake, which gave their hands a look of shaking to any onlookers, who were probably too scared to accurately testify anyway.
18. There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.
17. Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.
16. Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity.
15. Mr. T can rip a phonebook in half with his bare testicles.
14. Mr. T's mother didn't breast feed him. He milked her.
13. Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.
12. Mr. T once bit off more than he could chew. He ate it anyway.
11. Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it.
10. Mr. T skis uphill.
9. It took five women 2 years to give birth to Mr. T.
8. The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.
7. Behind every great man, there is a great woman. Behind that woman is Mr. T.
6. Mr. T puts the laughter in manslaughter.
5. Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed.
4. Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.
3. Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.
2. Mr. T once rocked the Casbah. Which explains why there is no longer a Casbah.
1. Mr. T took Mother Nature from behind. We refer to the event as the Big Bang.
30. Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
29. Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.
28. Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
27. Mr. T pities fools because even fools deserves their daily dose of vitamin T.
26. Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.
25. Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
24. Yoda had two sons. To one he taught pity, to the other he gave the gift of the beard.
23. 20,000; That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
22. On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.
21. Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
20. Despite popular belief, Mr. T in fact ended the civil rights movement by getting on a bus....all caucasian people moved to the back.
19. Mr. T once shook hands with Chuck Norris, or so it appeared, in actuality, their combined power caused an earthquake, which gave their hands a look of shaking to any onlookers, who were probably too scared to accurately testify anyway.
18. There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.
17. Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.
16. Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity.
15. Mr. T can rip a phonebook in half with his bare testicles.
14. Mr. T's mother didn't breast feed him. He milked her.
13. Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.
12. Mr. T once bit off more than he could chew. He ate it anyway.
11. Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it.
10. Mr. T skis uphill.
9. It took five women 2 years to give birth to Mr. T.
8. The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.
7. Behind every great man, there is a great woman. Behind that woman is Mr. T.
6. Mr. T puts the laughter in manslaughter.
5. Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed.
4. Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.
3. Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.
2. Mr. T once rocked the Casbah. Which explains why there is no longer a Casbah.
1. Mr. T took Mother Nature from behind. We refer to the event as the Big Bang.