NationStates Jolt Archive

I recently said to someone "DOn't do anything I wouldn't do." He replied, "What wouldn't you do?"

I was lost for a response!

So I've been giving it some thought. I think I really need to compile a list of things I wouldn't do.

Of course, your help would be most appreciated. :)

SO far, I've decided that I wouldn't:
Rape someone.
Molest children.
Intentionally kill.
Do mind-altering drugs. Altering my mind just isn't safe. :p


That's about it, so far.

beastiality?

Sounds just fine and pretty much what I wouldn't do either.

But please define "mind-altering drugs" http://www.studip.uni-goettingen.de/pictures/smile/discoblob.gif

*Note to self avoid following Lunatic Goofballs if he's leading by example.*

I was going to put that I wouldn't do anything illegal, but I break the law many times a week, because there are weird sex laws in my state. So, I suppose I wouldn't hurt anyone physically, or emotionally on purpose or out of spite.

Oh and I refuse to be naked in public or cheat on my hubby, or get drunk and drive and stuff like that.

Sounds just fine and pretty much what I wouldn't do either.

But please define "mind-altering drugs" http://www.studip.uni-goettingen.de/pictures/smile/discoblob.gif

ANything that might muddle my thinking and keep me from being able to outwit the psychiatrists. :)

ANything that might muddle my thinking and keep me from being able to outwit the psychiatrists. :)
...wouldn't that technically include the opposite sex?

beastiality?

I don't really thing I'm so much avoiding it. I just haven't found an animal that really turned me on yet. :p

...wouldn't that technically include the opposite sex?

It hasn't so far. :)

It hasn't so far. :)
Oh. Good for you! ...or is it? :p

Things I avoid?

Getting caught. :)

Porcupines are a big no-no, I'd guess?

I don't really thing I'm so much avoiding it. I just haven't found an animal that really turned me on yet. :p

Hahahahahaha :p

Oh. Good for you! ...or is it? :p

Marrying a police officer has kept me out of Oh, so much trouble.

I recommend it. :)

Things I would avoid?

Other than the obvious ( pedophilia, bestiality, child abuse, rape, etc. ), would avoid:

Eating yellow snow
Drawing to an inside straight
Playing cards with guys named "Guido"
Hanging out with women named "Ruby"
Bars with a dozen chopped Harley-Davidson motorcycles in the parking lot
Leaning into a left-hook
Being alone with guys named "Bruce"
Willingly having a colonoscopy
Drinking anything called "Thunderbird Wine"
Hanging out with anyone who calls themselves "Lunatic Goofballs!" :D

I was going to put that I wouldn't do anything illegal, but I break the law many times a week, because there are weird sex laws in my state. So, I suppose I wouldn't hurt anyone physically, or emotionally on purpose or out of spite.

Oh and I refuse to be naked in public or cheat on my hubby, or get drunk and drive and stuff like that.
Define "public!" :D

Things I would avoid?

Other than the obvious ( pedophilia, bestiality, child abuse, rape, etc. ), would avoid:

Eating yellow snow Did it.
Drawing to an inside straight Did it.
Playing cards with guys named "Guido" Did it.
Hanging out with women named "Ruby" Did it.
Bars with a dozen chopped Harley-Davidson motorcycles in the parking lot Did it.
Leaning into a left-hook Did it. :(
Being alone with guys named "Bruce" Did it. :(
Willingly having a colonoscopy Not old enough yet. :D
Drinking anything called "Thunderbird Wine" Did it.
Hanging out with anyone who calls themselves "Lunatic Goofballs!" :D Doing it right now. :D

:D

Would you:
Deliberately impale your genitalia?
Eat part of your own body, when you have adequate supplies of food otherwise?
Ask a policeman to perform oral sex on you?
Turn up to work naked for a week?
Trust your friends to get you home safe when you are drunkenly comatose, without performing compromising acts with/on you?

That's all I can think of for now...

Define "public!" :D
you know like at the walmart.........

I had a friend once who got really drunk and since the bars close here at 2a she didn't want to go home and didn't have anywhere else to go, so she headed to the 24 hour walmart, and stripped down in the bathroom and ran through the store naked.

I wouldn't do that, firstly because I wouldn't ever get that drunk, and secondly because if I ever did get that drunk my husband would talk me out of it.

she got arrested and charged a $500 fine for public nudity a $200 fine for being publicly drunk and a $50 fine for not wearing shoes/shirt in the presence of children under 14 in a public place. ;)

:D
Hehehe! :p

you know like at the walmart.........

I had a friend once who got really drunk and since the bars close here at 2a she didn't want to go home and didn't have anywhere else to go, so she headed to the 24 hour walmart, and stripped down in the bathroom and ran through the store naked.

I wouldn't do that, firstly because I wouldn't ever get that drunk, and secondly because if I ever did get that drunk my husband would talk me out of it.

she got arrested and charged a $500 fine for public nudity a $200 fine for being publicly drunk and a $50 fine for not wearing shoes/shirt in the presence of children under 14 in a public place. ;)
ROFLMAO!!! OMG! Um ... did she learn anything from all that? :D

So if we were alone together and I asked you to get nekkid, you would? :D

Would you:
Deliberately impale your genitalia? No. I don't think I CAN.
Eat part of your own body, when you have adequate supplies of food otherwise?DO toenails count?
Ask a policeman to perform oral sex on you? Did it. He didn't.
Turn up to work naked for a week?Just wait til I win Powerball! :D
Trust your friends to get you home safe when you are drunkenly comatose, without performing compromising acts with/on you?Did it. So did they. :(

That's all I can think of for now... :p

you know like at the walmart.........

I had a friend once who got really drunk and since the bars close here at 2a she didn't want to go home and didn't have anywhere else to go, so she headed to the 24 hour walmart, and stripped down in the bathroom and ran through the store naked.

I wouldn't do that, firstly because I wouldn't ever get that drunk, and secondly because if I ever did get that drunk my husband would talk me out of it.

she got arrested and charged a $500 fine for public nudity a $200 fine for being publicly drunk and a $50 fine for not wearing shoes/shirt in the presence of children under 14 in a public place. ;)

$750 to run through a Wal-mart naked?

Hmm... *checks bank account...*

:D
BTW ... I had a majorly bad experience with Thunderbird Wine! LOL! :p

Being alone with guys named "Bruce"

And what, may I ask, is wrong with the name Bruce?:mad:





;)

"Ask a policeman to perform oral sex on you?" Did it. He didn't.

I want an appropriate smiley for this...

"Ask a policeman to perform oral sex on you?" Did it. He didn't.

I want an appropriate smiley for this...
http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/aktion/action-smiley-003.gif

ROFLMAO!!! OMG! Um ... did she learn anything from all that? :D
only that it is illegal in Oklahoma to not wear shoes/shirt in public if children under 14 are around. :p She is one of those people who gets a few drinks in her and the clothes pretty much come off, I try not to have her around me much (because she just isn't that fun to look at)

So if we were alone together and I asked you to get nekkid, you would? :D
nope. That would break my "not cheating on my hubby" rule, we strive not to even have the "appearance of evil" so being naked with someone else (who isn't like my doctor) would probably not be okay with my husband (no matter how innocent I claimed it was)

in fact, he doesn't even give female coworkers rides home without a 3rd party present (which is usually me anyway)




$750 to run through a Wal-mart naked?

Hmm... *checks bank account...*
could be cheaper where you live if you don't have the law against being barefoot in public in front of kids :D

BTW ... I had a majorly bad experience with Thunderbird Wine! LOL! :p

Is there a humorous story?

Ask a policeman to perform oral sex on you? Did it. He didn't.


I would love to have been a fly on the wall for that one

I was going to put that I wouldn't do anything illegal, but I break the law many times a week, because there are weird sex laws in my state. So, I suppose I wouldn't hurt anyone physically, or emotionally on purpose or out of spite.

Oh and I refuse to be naked in public or cheat on my hubby, or get drunk and drive and stuff like that. I'm not even going to ask. It was bad enough reading about that bestiality case, now it's on NS…

What wouldn't I do? Well, raping someone doesn't count, since using a spike or something counts as rape, and that is actually quite an inventive way to kill someone. Er… where was I… I wouldn't use drugs, as God knows what my mind would be like if it was altered…

And what, may I ask, is wrong with the name Bruce?:mad:

;)
[ backs slowly out of the room ] Uh ... nothing, nothing! Heh!

Ask a policeman to perform oral sex on you? Did it. He didn't.


I would love to have been a fly on the wall for that one

Heh. You never jokingly told a friend, "Blow Me." ?

I have a friend who is a cop. :)

nope. That would break my "not cheating on my hubby" rule, we strive not to even have the "appearance of evil" so being naked with someone else (who isn't like my doctor) would probably not be okay with my husband (no matter how innocent I claimed it was)
RATS! [ gets all despondent and stuff ] ;)

[ backs slowly out of the room ] Uh ... nothing, nothing! Heh!
dammit, lost another one:(

Heh. You never jokingly told a friend, "Blow Me." ?

I have a friend who is a cop. :)
ahh...gotcha.

I was picturing you getting pulled over for speeding or something, mumbling blow me, and him beating you with his club.

Story time. just thought of this.

So I had gotten pulled over for speeding. Went to work the next day. One of the guys (a CJ major, planning to become a cop, and has a dad who is a cop) says that the guy who pulled me over was a "fucking pig".
I looked at my friend, grinned, and asked if that made him a piglet.

He tackled me into the wall and gave me a mild concussion.

so. Would you call a person studying to be a cop who is about 3x your size (picture an ape with less hair) a piglet?

(I V Stalin) Would you:
Deliberately impale your genitalia? With what?
Eat part of your own body, when you have adequate supplies of food otherwise? Yes. Rip off skin and chew on it.
Ask a policeman to perform oral sex on you? No
Turn up to work naked for a week? That's the normal dress code.
Trust your friends to get you home safe when you are drunkenly comatose, without performing compromising acts with/on you?No, since one of my friends keeps spanking me.

Is there a humorous story?
It might be somewhat humorous now, but I was definitely not amused at the time! Heh!

ahh...gotcha.

I was picturing you getting pulled over for speeding or something, mumbling blow me, and him beating you with his club.

Story time. just thought of this.

So I had gotten pulled over for speeding. Went to work the next day. One of the guys (a CJ major, planning to become a cop, and has a dad who is a cop) says that the guy who pulled me over was a "fucking pig".
I looked at my friend, grinned, and asked if that made him a piglet.

He tackled me into the wall and gave me a mild concussion.

so. Would you call a person studying to be a cop who is about 3x your size (picture an ape with less hair) a piglet?

He has beaten me with his club a couple times.

I depantsed a man 3x my size, stole his bathing suit and ran around the beach like a madman, whooping and waving the bathing suit around as he chased me bareassed for several minutes. Until another friend tripped me and he caught up with me. Have you ever been lifted off the ground by your genitals and then powerbombed onto sand? Not pleasant. :(

((P.S. That was Ape, if anybody cares. :) ))

Taking drugs without due preparation and research. That's always one to avoid. :headbang:

It might be somewhat humorous now, but I was definitely not amused at the time! Heh!

Well? We're waiting. :)

I'm not even going to ask. It was bad enough reading about that bestiality case, now it's on NS…
it's not that bad, basically unless you are having sex in the missionary positon for the purposes of reproduction it's illegal here, and since my hubby had a vasectomy we really aren't trying to reproduce anymore.

well, and you know anything not in the missionary position.............;)

He has beaten me with his club a couple times.

I depantsed a man 3x my size, stole his bathing suit and ran around the beach like a madman, whooping and waving the bathing suit around as he chased me bareassed for several minutes. Until another friend tripped me and he caught up with me. Have you ever been lifted off the ground by your genitals and then powerbombed onto sand? Not pleasant. :(

((P.S. That was Ape, if anybody cares. :) ))
ouch. nope...can't say I've ever had that happen...Have stolen a friends bathing suit. And I've been known to steal towels while people are in the shower. A combination of which has gotten me duct taped to my bed for a day.

it's not that bad, basically unless you are having sex in the missionary positon for the purposes of reproduction it's illegal here, and since my hubby had a vasectomy we really aren't trying to reproduce anymore.

well, and you know anything not in the missionary position.............;) No, I'm not very well versed in the finer points of US state law (although the head boy in our school keeps telling us each assembly odd US laws).

Are you trying to say that contraception is illegal?

Well? We're waiting. :)
Wait on, Mo-Fo. Wait on! :D

it's not that bad, basically unless you are having sex in the missionary positon for the purposes of reproduction it's illegal here, and since my hubby had a vasectomy we really aren't trying to reproduce anymore.

well, and you know anything not in the missionary position.............;)
Physically drags your State kicking and screaming into the 21st Century! :D

No, I'm not very well versed in the finer points of US state law (although the head boy in our school keeps telling us each assembly odd US laws).

Are you trying to say that contraception is illegal?
it's kinda fishy, you can buy condoms, but technically it's illegal to use them, and you can get birth control but it's illegal to use it for contraception. They don't really enforce the laws unless they have you on other charges, like they caught a guy with porn once (yes, porn is illegal here) and he had a video of him and his wife engaging in oral sex, so he had to pay the fine for the porn, one for making porn, and one for immoral sex acts (the oral) even though I don't see how it's immoral, because even the Bible doesn't speak against it :rolleyes:

Physically drags your State kicking and screaming into the 21st Century! :D My Lords, would it not be a good idea if the Chairman of Committees and all Members resisted the mad idea of this House being dragged into this century? It is a very disagreeable century. Would it not be a better idea to drag us back perhaps into the 19th century, which in many ways was a very much better one for this country? :D

Physically drags your State kicking and screaming into the 21st Century! :D
yeah, I remember when I was living in Arizona, there was this big parade because they had repealed the sodomy laws there, and this guy (who got transfered by the same company my husband worked for) said "sodomy was illegal here?" all shocked (he was from California)
We explained to him all the stuff that is illegal in Oklahoma, and he said "geez, what did you do?"

and my husband says "broke the law":D

thought of a new few.

-Piss off someone who has the nickname Moose, and deserves it.
-Get into a practical joke war with someone who has been lifted by his genitals.

Right, now that Smunkeeville has finished destroying my perception of her as a good clean-living young lady…

Would anyone here be willing to eat fried human kidney?

Right, now that Smunkeeville has finished destroying my perception of her as a good clean-living young lady…

Would anyone here be willing to eat fried human kidney?
probably

Right, now that Smunkeeville has finished destroying my perception of her as a good clean-living young lady…
what?!

I am not doing anything but breaking the law.

My pastor says anything that a couple who is married can do together is fair game. (ie no threesomes, no porn, no spectators ect.)

besides, I can't afford to have 30 kids, you would think the state would be happy that my husband got snipped to cut down on the chances of extra kiddos that would end up living on the govt.

what?!

I am not doing anything but breaking the law. That's so hugely amusing I just have to sig it!

I wasn't referring to your contraception, pretty much everyone uses it… no I was referring to other implications.

yeah, I remember when I was living in Arizona, there was this big parade because they had repealed the sodomy laws there, and this guy (who got transfered by the same company my husband worked for) said "sodomy was illegal here?" all shocked (he was from California)
We explained to him all the stuff that is illegal in Oklahoma, and he said "geez, what did you do?"

and my husband says "broke the law":D
SMUNKEE!!! TSK! Shame on you! :D

SMUNKEE!!! TSK! Shame on you! :D
hey, according to the state of Oklahoma it's illegal to have sex when you are pregnant (because you aren't trying to reproduce) I was pretty much pregnant (or nursing) for 3 years straight, and it was the first 3 years of my marriage, yeah right I am not going to have sex:rolleyes:

That's so hugely amusing I just have to sig it!

I wasn't referring to your contraception, pretty much everyone uses it… no I was referring to other implications.
what other implications?


oh.....crap.........I just re-read that, no........we were talking about how like it's illegal to have lunch time quickies and stuff because you are doing it for fun........I suppose I should have elaborated more......or maybe not said anything at all, either way:p

:D
Heh! That's both funny and sad at the same time. [ doesn't know which smilie to use! ] ;)

what other implications?


oh.....crap.........I just re-read that, no........we were talking about how like it's illegal to have lunch time quickies and stuff because you are doing it for fun........I suppose I should have elaborated more......or maybe not said anything at all, either way:p
ROFLMAO!!! You've done it now, woman! :D

hey, according to the state of Oklahoma it's illegal to have sex when you are pregnant (because you aren't trying to reproduce) I was pretty much pregnant (or nursing) for 3 years straight, and it was the first 3 years of my marriage, yeah right I am not going to have sex:rolleyes: That's really weird - I thought that those laws were made by *ahem* Puritans, and the only religious branch that I know of that has those rules is the Catholic Church.

That's really weird - I thought that those laws were made by *ahem* Puritans, and the only religious branch that I know of that has those rules is the Catholic Church.
yeah, I have no clue who made these laws (could have been Catholics, since we are close to Texas that used to belong to Mexico, that used to belong to Spain, that is full of Catholics..........)

anyway, like I said unless I get caught doing something else (like cheating on my hubby, or having porn) then I won't get into trouble.

Why am I not on that list?

:D

I've got a whip!


This is Der Fuhrer Dyszel.....it didn't log me in under my name. :(

Would you rap?

That's really weird - I thought that those laws were made by *ahem* Puritans, and the only religious branch that I know of that has those rules is the Catholic Church.
Your education has been sadly neglected. I recommend you read: Religious Fundamentalism for Fun and Profit! :D

That's really weird - I thought that those laws were made by *ahem* Puritans, and the only religious branch that I know of that has those rules is the Catholic Church.

Utah. Those kooky mormons get uptight about recreational sex. *nod*

Would anyone here be willing to eat fried human kidney?

Fried? no. Too fattening.

There.....now I can say me.

:D

I recently said to someone "DOn't do anything I wouldn't do." He replied, "What wouldn't you do?"

I was lost for a response!

So I've been giving it some thought. I think I really need to compile a list of things I wouldn't do.

Of course, your help would be most appreciated. :)

SO far, I've decided that I wouldn't:
Rape someone.
Molest children.
Intentionally kill.
Do mind-altering drugs. Altering my mind just isn't safe. :p


That's about it, so far.

With apologies to Julie Andrews.

Fundamentalist sermons and athiest meetings
Communist rhetoric and Conservative bleetings
A song that Cat Stevens or Toby Kieth sings
These are a few well-avoided things.

Sexual employment of casaba melons
Zoological fancies, corrospondence with felons
Marital aids that aggrivate hemoroids
These are a few of the things I avoid

When cable's on
And the sound's from
Bill O'Reilly's mouth
I think of the things that I like to avoid
and "Change the channel!" I shout.

There.....now I can say me.

:D
:fluffle:

even though I don't see how it's immoral, because even the Bible doesn't speak against it :rolleyes: If you want to argue about that - let's not threadjack here, telegram me. I'm sure I'll win. :D

With apologies to Julie Andrews.

Fundamentalist sermons and athiest meetings
Communist rhetoric and Conservative bleetings
A song that Cat Stevens or Toby Kieth sings
These are a few well-avoided things.

Sexual employment of casaba melons
Zoological fancies, corrospondence with felons
Marital aids that aggrivate hemoroids
These are a few of the things I avoid

When cable's on
And the sound's from
Bill O'Reilly's mouth
I think of the things that I like to avoid
and "Change the channel!" I shout.

YAY!!! :D

No, I'm not very well versed in the finer points of US state law (although the head boy in our school keeps telling us each assembly odd US laws).

Are you trying to say that contraception is illegal?

Some time ago it was declared unconstitutional to forbid birth control to married couples. State by state laws still vary with respect to single people having access to medically prescribed birth control, but things like condoms are available everywhere, and efforts to legislate them run into difficulties with constitutional issues of privacy, to which those laws must be subservient.

Baisicly, if you're caught having sex in public in an area that has laws against condoms then they can get you for public indecency and condom use, but if cops want to bust you in your own bedroom because someone called them and said "there's a couple in that house using condoms," then there's nothing they can do about it.

Why am I not on that list?
And I'm not, either. (I'm a guy, too. That might be part of the reason...)

Things I would avoid?

Other than the obvious ( pedophilia, bestiality, child abuse, rape, etc. ), would avoid:

Eating yellow snow
Drawing to an inside straight
Playing cards with guys named "Guido"
Hanging out with women named "Ruby"
Bars with a dozen chopped Harley-Davidson motorcycles in the parking lot
Leaning into a left-hook
Being alone with guys named "Bruce"
Willingly having a colonoscopy
Drinking anything called "Thunderbird Wine"
Hanging out with anyone who calls themselves "Lunatic Goofballs!" :D
AFAIK, they don't strap you to a table and sodomize you with a colonoscope, so really the only way to get one is to be willing to have one done.