NationStates Jolt Archive

Ok, so here's the story, I'm 19 and just got a cool job in an office. Last night we had out Christmas party which involved lots of free alcohol. Everyone (there are about 30 of us in the company), including the directors, had quite a bit to drink and then some of us, mostly just the younger employees, went out clubbing.

Anyway, I ended up dancing with this 20 something colleague and we started pashing, in front of all these other colleagues. After awhile I sobered up a bit, realised I didn't like the situation I was in, and refused to keep kissing. When she asked why I tried to explain that we were drunk and that she would regret it on Monday, but I don't think she got the message - she kept saying that she knew exactly what she was doing (even though she couldn't walk in a straight line).

I have no experience in this sort of thing and I have no idea what will happen on Monday. Will she just realise that we were drunk and think nothing more of it? Is she expecting me to ask her out? Do I need to apologise for letting her kiss me then going cold? What about the people who saw us, I wanted to make a good impression at work but are they all going to think we are sluts or understand that we were pissed? Please help! :confused:

I have no experience in this sort of thing and I have no idea what will happen on Monday. Will she just realise that we were drunk and think nothing more of it? Is she expecting me to ask her out? Do I need to apologise for letting her kiss me then going cold? What about the people who saw us, I wanted to make a good impression at work but are they all going to think we are sluts or understand that we were pissed? Please help! :confused:
Good Party! She'll probably feel embarrased on Monday, just don't make a big deal of it so she won't feel worse. You don't need to apologize about anything, though, so don't let her turn it around to make it your fault either.

The people, well, that may be a bit more difficult to handle and will depend entirely on what kind of people they are, but try not to pay much attention to them. They'll probably just be jealous.

Better not to mention it then walk into work on Monday and yell "Just in case anyone is interested, I am not a slut."
Alternately, speaking as someone who isn't being sarcastic, you could repeatedly assure your coworkers that you aren't a slut by adding the disclaimer: "speaking as someone who isn't a slut" to all your statements (eg "Speak as someone who isn't a slut, I prefer my popcorn without butter.")

Wait till monday. She'll either be super-embarrassed or still really horny. Win-win.

hmmm... so I should just walk in on Monday as if nothing happened and smile and say "hi" as I pass her desk (like I usually do)? I can imagine this could turn out quite awkward.

EDIT: and yes, it was a good party! (until the kissing anyway). Lots of free alcohol and a very good, free, meal...

Spray-paint 'slut' on her office door/cubicle wall and start crying every time she walks by you

hmmm... so I should just walk in on Monday as if nothing happened and smile and say "hi" as I pass her desk (like I usually do)? I can imagine this could turn out quite awkward.

Yep. Sound course of action.

hmmm... so I should just walk in on Monday as if nothing happened and smile and say "hi" as I pass her desk (like I usually do)? I can imagine this could turn out quite awkward.
It is only awkward if you let it be. There are no fundamental laws to human relationships, only whatever internal psychological crap you may build up for yourself and let get in the way.

Better not to mention it then walk into work on Monday and yell "Just in case anyone is interested, I am not a slut."
Alternately, speaking as someone who isn't being sarcastic, you could repeatedly assure your coworkers that you aren't a slut by adding the disclaimer: "speaking as someone who isn't a slut" to all your statements (eg "Speak as someone who isn't a slut, I prefer my popcorn without butter.")
I like it.

"Speaking as someone who isn't a slut, I think that it's "their" not "there"."

"In my humble opinion as a non-slutty type, I'd like a latte"

"You look good. In a non-sexual, non-whorish sort of fashion. Much like me."

Neway. People will understand you were both drunk. All you need to do is have a private conversation with her (without letting anyone else know about it preferrably - office gossip) and guage how she feels about it. Just don't do it in front of everyone.

You didn't fuck her? Weaksauce...

Spray-paint 'slut' on her office door/cubicle wall and start crying every time she walks by you
Alternatively, offer to pray for both your souls as you cast out the slut-demon within her.

Don't say anything about it right away, maybe everyone was drunk enough that they didn't pay attention or remember who was making out with who.
If it comes up, then just make a comment about how it was a crazy party. And if necessary, blurt out that it will never happen again.

All you need to do is have a private conversation with her (without letting anyone else know about it preferrably - office gossip) and guage how she feels about it. Just don't do it in front of everyone.
Nah, you can gauge that without a private conversation. She'll probably have a hard enough time already, what with the gossipping and all, so just giver her her space without treating her any different, and wait for her to come to you.

And then shag'er in the supplies room :)

Nah, you can gauge that without a private conversation. She'll probably have a hard enough time already, what with the gossipping and all, so just giver her her space without treating her any different, and wait for her to come to you.Maybe, but any contact in the first few days may provoke more gossip. If no-one sees it, no-one gossips extra.

And then shag'er in the supplies room :)
I'd suggest the boss' desk for extra effect. Possibly with him/her there.

Ok, I think I can handle pretending nothing happened until she comes to me. Do you think she will be pissed off that I went cold on her, and spread rumours that I lead people on then back off?

You didn't fuck her? Weaksauce...
No I didn't, and I am glad I didn't, I think that would only have made it much much worse. Anyway, I don't really go for older girls (she is like 25 or something, that is part of the problem)

Spray-paint 'slut' on her office door/cubicle wall and start crying every time she walks by you

Is there even a solid definition of "slut" or is it everyone's personal opinion when you hit the "slut" status? :confused:

Ok, I think I can handle pretending nothing happened until she comes to me. Do you think she will be pissed off that I went cold on her, and spread rumours that I lead people on then back off?

You're overthinking the problem. Is she a bitch? If not, why do you expect her to act like one?

Ok, I think I can handle pretending nothing happened until she comes to me. Do you think she will be pissed off that I went cold on her, and spread rumours that I lead people on then back off?
She won't do that. If she does, say you were drunk but sobered enough when you took a good look at her face.

No I didn't, and I am glad I didn't, I think that would only have made it much much worse. Anyway, I don't really go for older girls (she is like 25 or something, that is part of the problem)
Wow! Good thing you wised up! She's truly ancient, could be your grandmother!

Anyway, there's a very good movie called "In defense of older women" or something like that. Should be required watching in high school. I think it's based on a book by Kundera.

Is there even a solid definition of "slut" or is it everyone's personal opinion when you hit the "slut" status? :confused:

I think being human would do it.

Is there even a solid definition of "slut" or is it everyone's personal opinion when you hit the "slut" status?
I don't think there is a definitive definition, it's probably just everyone's own opinion, but what I meant is really just that people might think I will get with anyone, even if I haven't known them for long.

Does anyone think she actually likes me, she definitely seemed to last night, but that was just the alcohol right? I hope it was just the alcohol.

I don't think there is a definitive definition, it's probably just everyone's own opinion, but what I meant is really just that people might think I will get with anyone, even if I haven't known them for long.

Does anyone think she actually likes me, she definitely seemed to last night, but that was just the alcohol right? I hope it was just the alcohol.
Why? I she ugly as all sin? Look, you were both drunk, and as long as you dont' make a big deal out of thats all people will think. If she's mad because you refused, it's not your problem, but hers.

Wow! Good thing you wised up! She's truly ancient, could be your grandmother!

Ok, point taken, she isn't that old, but a 25 year old girl seems old when your a 19 year old guy!

Ok, point taken, she isn't that old, but a 25 year old girl seems old when your a 19 year old guy!
Not as bad as my old chemistry teacher. She tried to have sex with a fifteen year old student, and she's like thrity eight.

it's not that big of a difference, aboutthe same as my parents age difference, and tehy get along jsut fine.

Not as bad as my old chemistry teacher. She tried to have sex with a fifteen year old student, and she's like thrity eight.

it's not that big of a difference, aboutthe same as my parents age difference, and tehy get along jsut fine.
Enjoy (http://www.koin.com/news.asp?RECORD_KEY%5Bnews%5D=ID&ID%5Bnews%5D=4887)

Ok, point taken, she isn't that old, but a 25 year old girl seems old when your a 19 year old guy!

I'm 19 and I'd hit it. Probably the cut-off point, though. *shrugs*

No I didn't, and I am glad I didn't, I think that would only have made it much much worse. Anyway, I don't really go for older girls (she is like 25 or something, that is part of the problem)

Ok, word from an older guy. Take it for a ride until you cant ride no more. Trust me when you get older you will look back with a smile.

I'm 19 and I'd hit it. Probably the cut-off point, though. *shrugs*

When I was 19 I hit it with a 33yr old. Fun times I tell ya!

When I was 19 I hit it with a 33yr old. Fun times I tell ya!
The best part of getting your education from an older woman is when you get to teach a younger woman.

When I was 19 I hit it with a 33yr old. Fun times I tell ya!

Yeah, well...it would all depend, I guess.

Is there even a solid definition of "slut" or is it everyone's personal opinion when you hit the "slut" status? :confused:

I was under the impression that the mark of sluthood is sleeping with people for the sake of sleeping with people. At least a whore expects payment.

The best part of getting your education from an older woman is when you get to teach a younger woman.

touche

touche
But don't get me wrong, they complement each other. When you're young you should get experience from older women, so that you can then teach the young ones when you're an old and decrepit guy of over 30.

But don't get me wrong, they complement each other. When you're young you should get experience from older women, so that you can then teach the young ones when you're an old and decrepit guy of over 30.

Ended up with a wife 12 years junior with that thinking. ;) I always tell her that I married her so she could push my wheel chair.:p