NationStates Jolt Archive

Be it on the internet, on the phone, in the act...

Who likes it when there is dirty talk/cyber naughty chat?

Just curious...

dirty talk is certainly hot. but it's also dirty, and being a christian, i try to stay out of that, for as long as im not having sex at least. it's extremely annoying being horny with nothing to do about it.:(

dirty talk is certainly hot. but it's also dirty, and being a christian, i try to stay out of that, for as long as im not having sex at least. it's extremely annoying being horny with nothing to do about it.:(

Cum to the darkside, my friend;)

Wow...that is interesting...

I know lots of Christians who love dirty talk and talking dirty...

Be it on the internet, on the phone, in the act...

Who likes it when there is dirty talk/cyber naughty chat?

Just curious...

I find that I'm lacking some vocab to properly do it in English, but I love it nevertheless.

Oooh, I'm so muddy! I love wrestling in mud and getting muddy mud in my hair! Is that dirty enough?

I find that I'm lacking some vocab to properly do it in English, but I love it nevertheless.

You need only remember a few key phrases. I'm sure you could come up with something to make a guy...come up...

I prefer to discuss house cleaning.
Ooh, you are a dirty floor, aren't you? Good thing I brought my mop.

Oooh, I'm so muddy! I love wrestling in mud and getting muddy mud in my hair! Is that dirty enough?

That might depend on who you're fighting with ;)

That might depend on who you're fighting with ;)

You of course! :D

You need only remember a few key phrases.

I don't suppose there's something online where I could pick them up?

Oooh, I'm so muddy! I love wrestling in mud and getting muddy mud in my hair! Is that dirty enough?

**panting** hell yes:fluffle:

You of course! :D

Hot! Let's wrestle, girl!

You of course! :D

Boing...


You have our full attention...go for the bra!!!

Oooh, I'm so muddy! I love wrestling in mud and getting muddy mud in my hair! Is that dirty enough?

*moans* Go on...

Hot! Let's wrestle, girl!

*throws a big glob of mud at CW*

Tee-hee! I got you on your Dirty Pillows!!

I don't suppose there's something online where I could pick them up?

I could provide you with some ideas... :)

*throws a big glob of mud at CW*

Tee-hee! I got you on your boobie!

*smears mud across her boobie, packs some mud on Grainne and rubs it in

There, you dirty woman

lol You people are so crazy and funny! Thanks for the laughs!:p

lauren

lol You people are so crazy and funny! Thanks for the laughs!:p

lauren

With a name like Noodle Domination I think you are already talking dirty...

*smears mud across her boobie, packs some mud on Grainne and rubs it in

There, you dirty woman
:eek:
You can't say "boobie" on the internet!!

:eek:
You can't say "boobie" on the internet!!
That's right, the proper Interweb term is "FUCKING HUG3 TITS, XXX", get the language right next time. Sheesh, people.

With a name like Noodle Domination I think you are already talking dirty...


Is that so.

lauren

:eek:
You can't say "boobie" on the internet!!

yell at grainne! she said it first!!

um... this needs to stop.

jesus hates people who talk dirty.

love, jesus

ps if someone wants to have cybersex with jesus, im me at: jesus_the_christ@hotmail.com

i have a huge schlong

um... this needs to stop.

jesus hates people who talk dirty.

love, jesus

Pathetic. Jesus doesn't hate. Jesus hides in a cupboard and loves himself

yell at grainne! she said it first!!

I fixed mine so nyah.

*shoves mud down Cabra's pants*

Take that biotch!!

um... this needs to stop.

jesus hates people who talk dirty.

love, jesus

ps if someone wants to have cybersex with jesus, im me at: jesus_the_christ@hotmail.com

i have a huge schlong

Jesus associated with a prostitute!! She rubbed his feet!

I,uh...like to talk dirty.
I love inuendo and double entendre and all the lewd, fun stuff.

In case someone here wasnt aware.

Jesus associated with a prostitute!! She rubbed his feet!

His ... feet. Yes. Sure. Feet. Right. Just the feet. Nothing else.

<.<
>.>

His ... feet. Yes. Sure. Feet. Right. Just the feet. Nothing else.
For some people, that is all they really want. Anyway, rubbing people's feet is very intimate. Pulp Fiction told me so.

*smears mud across her boobie, packs some mud on Grainne and rubs it in

There, you dirty woman

wait a moment ...you have promised me I could film the scene as long as I want , and then I can pick up the rest of you...
And I doesn´t matter who is more dirty of you both i clean you with my "soap"...

His ... feet. Yes. Sure. Feet. Right. Just the feet. Nothing else.

<.<
>.>


Please don't mock the bible i find that offencive. Thanks.

lauren

wait a moment ...you have promised me I could film the scene as long as I want , and then I can pick up the rest of you...
And I doesn´t matter who is more dirty of you both i clean you with my "soap"...

You better hurry then... we're both covered in mud now,all clothes torn off...

I don´t need to hurry , because MY soap is enough for both of you...

You better hurry then... we're both covered in mud now,all clothes torn off...

OMG! How did that happen? Wow, you're quick!

and I don´t want to waste just one drop....

I think you want it all ;)

OMG! How did that happen? Wow, you're quick!

do you need a longer foreplay ??

You better hurry then... we're both covered in mud now,all clothes torn off...

*lol
Sure... why doing a mudfight with clothes on? Pretty pointless, methinks

Please don't mock the bible i find that offencive. Thanks.

lauren

please don't mock writing real letters, all with real signing them and stuff. i find that offensive. (and rather ridiculous)
thanks.

on-topic
-> dirty talk? nice way to pick up new english words in a casual setting.

You better hurry then... we're both covered in mud now,all clothes torn off...

Is that mud? Or could it be chocolate pudding?

Is that mud? Or could it be chocolate pudding?

Does it matter?

*takes photos*

Wow...that is interesting...

I know lots of Christians who love dirty talk and talking dirty...
sure, when it's with my hubby, in the privacy of....well, wherever we are I guess.

Is that mud? Or could it be chocolate pudding?

Mmm... pudding. I could lick that off.

Does it matter?

*takes photos*

*klick*....you just take a foto of a closed door, where three people having fun behind

*klick*....you just take a foto of a closed door, where three people having fun behind
But it's an "seethroughdoors" camera. My own sexy invention.

Mmm... pudding. I could lick that off.

Licking chocolate pudding of boobies? Mmmmm... goodie

Mmm... pudding. I could lick that off.


you have a TG..have a look please

Mmm... pudding. I could lick that off.

Thats my point. I could lick pudding off of two or three hot females, but not so much mud.

Licking chocolate pudding of boobies? Mmmmm... goodie

You can't say boobies on the internet!!:eek:

Oh noes!! Teh police!!

I'm crazy for dirty talk...I love reading dirty stories more than I like watching porn...porn being a very close second, not a total loss...and dirty talk during sex drives me wild. Oh wait...actually dirty talk before, during and after sex drives me wild...which is to say it never fails to drive me wild...unless it's a complete idiot making a mess of it...*a drunk in a bar approaches me with the following line "do you take it in the ass?"...NOT a turn on*

I'm crazy for dirty talk...


Not really-are you?

I'm crazy for dirty talk...I love reading dirty stories more than I like watching porn...porn being a very close second, not a total loss...and dirty talk during sex drives me wild. Oh wait...actually dirty talk before, during and after sex drives me wild...which is to say it never fails to drive me wild...unless it's a complete idiot making a mess of it...*a drunk in a bar approaches me with the following line "do you take it in the ass?"...NOT a turn on*

Hey, ah do you take it...oh wait nevermind.

Is that so.

lauren

It is...

Not really-are you?
Just admitting what everyone already knows...

Mmmm... I just had some dirty talk... it's just so great

I've had none today thanks...</jealousy>

I've had none today thanks...</jealousy>
The worst though is sometimes my husband wants to dirty talk over the phone after work, but I'm busy washing dishes, or changing diapers, or just plain not into it, and it seems so, so lame...how do those phone sex chicks do it?

The worst though is sometimes my husband wants to dirty talk over the phone after work, but I'm busy washing dishes, or changing diapers, or just plain not into it, and it seems so, so lame...how do those phone sex chicks do it?

Fake it, I guess.

Fake it, I guess.
I refuse. Hmmm. Guess the hubby just has to live with it.

The worst though is sometimes my husband wants to dirty talk over the phone after work, but I'm busy washing dishes, or changing diapers, or just plain not into it, and it seems so, so lame...how do those phone sex chicks do it?

They get paid...


That makes anything easier

They get paid...


That makes anything easier

Funny... that's the one thing I would have a problem with, somehow. Taking money for it...

Funny... that's the one thing I would have a problem with, somehow. Taking money for it...
So what is it when you, in your joy at receiving a present, proceed to pleasure your partner?

Just saying...'cuz someone suggested to me the other day that all women who take gifts from men and 'reward' them with sex, are essentially whores:rolleyes:

I think of it as a thank you that both people get to enjoy, but some people are nuts.

Funny... that's the one thing I would have a problem with, somehow. Taking money for it...

Sweet! So you'll do it for free, eh? Call me. *waggles his eyebrows*

So what is it when you, in your joy at receiving a present, proceed to pleasure your partner?

Just saying...'cuz someone suggested to me the other day that all women who take gifts from men and 'reward' them with sex, are essentially whores:rolleyes:

I think of it as a thank you that both people get to enjoy, but some people are nuts.

That's not payment, that's a present
I don't do it because I get a present...really. Few people do that. Imagine what christmas would be like, otherwise.

So what is it when you, in your joy at receiving a present, proceed to pleasure your partner?

Just saying...'cuz someone suggested to me the other day that all women who take gifts from men and 'reward' them with sex, are essentially whores:rolleyes:

I think of it as a thank you that both people get to enjoy, but some people are nuts.


Anytime a girl has given me a "present", I've almost always given them a pearl necklace in return.

For some reason I speak the dirty double-entendre stuff with a friend of mine all through French lessons.

Sweet! So you'll do it for free, eh? Call me. *waggles his eyebrows*

And pay for the phone call? I don't think so ;)

That's not payment, that's a present
I don't do it because I get a present...really. Few people do that. Imagine what christmas would be like, otherwise.

Christmas would be better

Anytime a girl has given me a "present", I've almost always given them a pearl necklace in return.
Knowing you that comment means SO much more than it seems to...and knowing my dirty mind, I've divined correctly.

O_o

Knowing you that comment means SO much more than it seems to...and knowing my dirty mind, I've divined correctly.


hey-I'm generous. Why try to make more of it. You can earn a pearl necklace too-the hard way.

Be it on the internet, on the phone, in the act...

Who likes it when there is dirty talk/cyber naughty chat?

Just curious...


I never used to be into it. I thought it was kind of stupid. I think the people I was with just weren't...doing it properly? Not into it enough? I don't know. But that all changed when I met my husband. He is a master dirty talker. And not just that. The man managed to talk me straight out of my panties despite my best efforts to keep them on. Well, and he has that porn voice too, so maybe that's it. Whew! I think I'll go give him a call...:D

hey-I'm generous. Why try to make more of it. You can earn a pearl necklace too-the hard way.
It had better be hard. But I don't want my pearl necklace to wash off...

It had better be hard. But I don't want my pearl necklace to wash off...


you dont want to go home with that krispy kreme doughnut eatin look

you dont want to go home with that krispy kreme doughnut eatin look
No, I don't...but when someone promises me a pearl necklace, I expect real pearls damnit!

No, I don't...but when someone promises me a pearl necklace, I expect real pearls damnit!

These are HOT though. For a minute or so.

Well- I'm outta here. Have a great weekend. Taking the wife out for dinner. Its been a long week.
Be well

These are HOT though. For a minute or so.

Well- I'm outta here. Have a great weekend. Taking the wife out for dinner. Its been a long week.
Be well
I get a raunchy girl's night out...male strippers, then some female strippers, and some booty shaking.

Talking dirty on the phone doesnt do it for me. I have had gf in the past that wanted to do it. Unless I was heading over there at that moment. I wouldnt partake in it. No fun unless there is a postive outcome in the end. That to me requires the target of the talk to be in close proximity.

I used to go through e-mails with pics provided...but no one wants to play with me anymore... :(

I used to go through e-mails with pics provided...but no one wants to play with me anymore... :(
Aww, here is a nice piccy just for you (and anyone else who happens to read this thread):
http://www.toaster.org/images/toasters/redkenmore.jpeg

Dirty talk is great! :D
It should be mandatory!

Aww, here is a nice piccy just for you (and anyone else who happens to read this thread):
http://www.toaster.org/images/toasters/redkenmore.jpeg
You sure have weird fetishes :eek:

Jesus associated with a prostitute!! She rubbed his feet!
Which is, as we know thanks to Pulp Fiction, almost the same as giving him head.

You sure have weird fetishes :eek:
It did just come up as the toaster, right?
And toasters aren't really my fetish, I prefer people (although room temperature and inanimate are my type).

Be it on the internet, on the phone, in the act...

Who likes it when there is dirty talk/cyber naughty chat?

Just curious...

well, it depends on the definition of dirty. i tend to make a lot of my internet and rl conversations jam-packed with innuendos and such. i am also partial to a bit of 'that's what she/he said'

It did just come up as the toaster, right?
And toasters aren't really my fetish, I prefer people (although room temperature and inanimate are my type).
Inanimate? You mean you like doing corpses? How sick! :eek:

Inanimate? You mean you like doing corpses? How sick! :eek:
You mean you like doing the living? With all that pulsing and moaning, the sweating and clamminess, slime dripping from orifices and bloodied noses, that is sick.

Aww, here is a nice piccy just for you (and anyone else who happens to read this thread):
http://www.toaster.org/images/toasters/redkenmore.jpeg

Damn...that is one fine looking toaster

not sure if i could talk dirty really... i mean i'd probably feel such a prat that i'd just give up or something :(

not sure if i could talk dirty really... i mean i'd probably feel such a prat that i'd just give up or something :(

Maybe I should offer a course on it. Many people could benefit from my experience.

I find it can be a good ice breaker. Where as you might be a bit awkward at first finding out where a girl stands with you person to person (with no escape :rolleyes: ) after a phone call or good conversation next time you meet them its all so much easyer.

I find it can be a good ice breaker. Where as you might be a bit awkward at first finding out where a girl stands with you person to person (with no escape :rolleyes: ) after a phone call or good conversation next time you meet them its all so much easyer.

Are you saying initate dirty talk with a stranger upon first meeting them?

That could get you one of three things:

a) Laid
b) Slapped
c) Sued

Maybe I should offer a course on it. Many people could benefit from my experience.
well thanks for the offer but my g/f is teaching me.

...well. :D

Are you saying initate dirty talk with a stranger upon first meeting them?

That could get you one of three things:

a) Laid
b) Slapped
c) Sued

b) and c) being the most likely options... unless you put something in her drink first, I guess.

Licking chocolate pudding of boobies? Mmmmm... goodie

LMAO, this is freakily like something my friends and I did once. Chocalate pudding has never been the same for me since.

LMAO, this is freakily like something my friends and I did once. Chocalate pudding has never been the same for me since.

Talk about honey for me ;)

Of course I do.

My, My, your a dirty girl.

Don't make me pull out my long hard glistening mop and smack you with it.

Talk about honey for me ;)

heh, :D

Of course I do.

My, My, your a dirty girl.

Don't make me pull out my long hard glistening mop and smack you with it.

Is that a promise;)

well thanks for the offer but my g/f is teaching me.

...well. :D
:eek:

PM?!? Is that you?

well thanks for the offer but my g/f is teaching me.

...well. :D
well, she is 10% dirtier than you.

Dirty talk is great! :D
It should be mandatory! I'm sometimes foulmouthed. Does that count?

:eek:

PM?!? Is that you?
yeah. whats up?:confused:

well, she is 10% dirtier than you.
i know - its sweet! and she's the master at dirty talk too ;)
(and dirty imaginations... hehe)

yeah. whats up?:confused:
With a gf? :eek:

With a gf? :eek:
we met on the internet (here in fact) so don't get too excited! i'm still nerd #1 :p
she is great tho :fluffle:

we met on the internet (here in fact) so don't get too excited! i'm still nerd #1 :p
she is great tho :fluffle:
Glitziness? (sp?)

Congrats man. Seems like this is turning into a meeting ground after all.

Glitziness? (sp?)

Congrats man. Seems like this is turning into a meeting ground after all.
Shut the fuck up, both of you. Some of us come here to wallow in self pity with the other lonely people.

BTW, I've become a priest. Father McKenzie. ¬_¬

Shut the fuck up, both of you. Some of us come here to wallow in self pity with the other lonely people.

BTW, I've become a priest. Father McKenzie. ¬_¬
I've hear there was a position open on Craggy Island :D

Glitziness? (sp?)

Congrats man. Seems like this is turning into a meeting ground after all.
thats right :)
and NS is just one big singles meeting ground, right? at least thats what TPE told me ;) :D

also i notice by your msn pic that you're still with your gf... congrads to you as well you sly ol' seadog ;)


edit: *points and laughs at Tribes*
oh wait, is that a sin? :eek:

I like it.

If any females want to talk dirty with me, TG me lol.

Yes, that's advertisement and request lol.

I've hear there was a position open on Craggy Island :D
I'd honestly never made that connection before. No wonder the poor fucker was lonely :p

EDIT: And PM - I'm not going to minister your wedding now. *pouts*

Shut the fuck up, both of you. Some of us come here to wallow in self pity with the other lonely people.

BTW, I've become a priest. Father McKenzie. ¬_¬
aww...poor tribes needs some lovin'


big ol' group fluffle, everyone.
:fluffle:

Is that a promise;)
OH! You know it, baby.;)

I'd honestly never made that connection before. No wonder the poor fucker was lonely :p

EDIT: And PM - I'm not going to minister your wedding now. *pouts*
why would i want a northern minister at my nice southern wedding? :D
*turns up nose*


naah i'm sorry dude, can i bribe you back with the three P's.... pizza, pilsner and porn? :)

dirrty talk? please. how old are y'all? if your horny go do something about it, get laid, just don't tell us. what are we meant to do? talk while you jerk off? juvenile much?:headbang:

OH! You know it, baby.;)

OOOO :fluffle:

I'm sometimes foulmouthed. Does that count?

Since that is probably as close as you get...it counts for you Lisk...

OOOO :fluffle:

How did I get left out with the new dirty talking hot girl?

Surely, the appeal of dirty talk is
Universal. It can be exciting and
Can fire up a relationship like a
Kiss can't everytime.

More people should try it, in fact
Everyone ought to at least a little.

Basically, I think that if it's playful,
If it's fun for all those involved, and if
They can conceal it from nosey folks,
Couples and flirters alike should always
Have a little dirty in their talk
!

Eloquently put! :)

Eloquently put! :)

I'm self taught and it seems to be a big hit with many of my previous "students".

Just saying...'cuz someone suggested to me the other day that all women who take gifts from men and 'reward' them with sex, are essentially whores:rolleyes:

I think of it as a thank you that both people get to enjoy, but some people are nuts.
I tend to agree, to a degree, with that viewpoint. I've actually heard some men say in anger, "I bought her [this and that expensive item], I expected sex, dammit!" *retch*

I get a raunchy girl's night out...male strippers, then some female strippers, and some booty shaking.
I am always amused by how you mention your bisexuality at every possible opportunity. Or maybe it just catches my attention. No, I'm certain that you're a show-off.

Maybe I should offer a course on it. Many people could benefit from my experience.
Yeah you should. Sign me and Pure Metal up.

I've hear there was a position open on Craggy Island :D
That's Father Ted Crilly, you idiot!

thats right :)
and NS is just one big singles meeting ground, right? at least thats what TPE told me ;) :D

If you don't mind me asking, how exactly do you become someone's boyfriend over the internet without physically meeting her? It sounds weird...

If you don't mind me asking, how exactly do you become someone's boyfriend over the internet without physically meeting her? It sounds weird...
dunno. we're engaged in an (decidedly) romantic relationship and are (semi-) exclusive (mostly, at the moment, until we meet).

we talk a lot outside of NS as well, duh.


so its just like a bf and gf talking IRL but using email and msn in the meantime till we can meet (in april)... i mean we're the same people and feel the same way, just the communication is different

Love knows no boundaries, unless those boundaries chafe.

How did I get left out with the new dirty talking hot girl?

Heh, sorry :fluffle:

Yall were talkin about feet earlier, and actually for a guy there is a place on the inner ankle that if rubbed is one of the most erotic things for a guy. Just throwin it out there.

Yall were talkin about feet earlier, and actually for a guy there is a place on the inner ankle that if rubbed is one of the most erotic things for a guy. Just throwin it out there.


That's odd......

Yea its a weird world.:p

Heh, sorry :fluffle:

I'm sure you could make it up to me...horizontally. OR in a naughty TG

That's Father Ted Crilly, you idiot!
Oh.... really?

:rolleyes:

I'm sure you could make it up to me...horizontally. OR in a naughty TG

HAHAHA, ill think about it :D

:( Rejected again...

I don't mind it as long as SHE doesn't either. It can be a real turn on sometimes.

:( Rejected again...

you never know ;)

you never know ;)

I do since last I checked my telegrams...:(

you never know ;)
Oh, Don't do me like that, baby. I still got my mop right here!

Hey guys, theres only so much of me to go around :p

Balipo, things like this cant be rushed. Its an art unto itself and I am just an amateur

Hey guys, theres only so much of me to go around :p

Balipo, things like this cant be rushed. Its an art unto itself and I am just an amateur
Eh, It's ok,I can go wave my mop around somewhere else then.

Sniffle

It's okay...I was only kidding...

I am pathetic to begin with so it's no biggie...why else would I start a thread like this in an attempt to solicit naughty behavior?

It's okay...I was only kidding...

I am pathetic to begin with so it's no biggie...why else would I start a thread like this in an attempt to solicit naughty behavior?
Eh, who's more pathetic here? The person trying to get some dirty talking, or the person who has someone he can dirty talk to thats trying to get some as well?

Personally I say me.

Eh, who's more pathetic here? The person trying to get some dirty talking, or the person who has someone he can dirty talk to thats trying to get some as well?

Personally I say me.

I'm really not sure which one of us is which at this point...

Head hurts...

lol, you guys are a laugh:) I dont think either of you are pathetic if its any consolation

I could think of better consolation *wink*

so could I if my brain hadnt gone on holiday. Im having what I like to call a "Blonde week"

I sent you a Telegram to cheer you up...;)

:D TGed back

:D TGed back

Right back at ya...

I think we've made a lust connection!

Yall were talkin about feet earlier, and actually for a guy there is a place on the inner ankle that if rubbed is one of the most erotic things for a guy. Just throwin it out there. *pokes inner ankle*

Nope. I'm defective in the ankle department.

Right back at ya...

My my you are something else. I like it, I like it a lot;)

*pokes inner ankle*

Nope. I'm defective in the ankle department.

I have a bit of dry skin on my inner ankle...and I can check my pulse there...other than that, I think it is just a blank spot for me...

My my you are something else. I like it, I like it a lot;)

Glad I'm continually providing you joy...awaiting your repsonse (again)...

I have a bit of dry skin on my inner ankle...and I can check my pulse there...other than that, I think it is just a blank spot for me...

Try rubbing something on it, like a hooker.

Hmm...oh yeah...like a hooker...

Wait a minute...I've never been with a hooker much less asked one to rub my inner ankle...

Besides...feet kind of gross me out...

same here, I dont like feet

Enough about feet...

Let's talk about the nice parts of the human body...like breasts...;)

Enough about feet...

Let's talk about the nice parts of the human body...like breasts...;)

boobs>feet

Boobs are greater...

Who wants to share their boobs with us today?

Im sure Tink would be willing :p

Boobs are greater...

Who wants to share their boobs with us today?
I would....

I would....


:p I thought you were a man for some reason

HAHAHA, ill think about it :D

Think about me too....

I doubt it...Tink has never even given me the time of day around here...I think...

So...the holidays are over. Any dirty talkin with a Santa or a Mrs. Claus?

I researched that ankle thing...apparently errogenous zones are person specific so that ankle thing isn't for everyone. ;)

'only with my wife'

:p I thought you were a man for some reason
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I never try to guess the sex of other NSers...this can lead to embarassing situations where I'm left with my junk in my hand...wait...nevermind...:)

I never try to guess the sex of other NSers...this can lead to embarassing situations where I'm left with my junk in my hand...wait...nevermind...:)

It's generally not a good idea to try and guess the sex of people you meet on the streets either. I personally suggest going up to random people and asking them if they are male or female. It could save a lot of embarassment in the end.

Why hello...nice to meet you...can you please remove your pants and all undergarments as honesty isn't what it should be and I'd like to know if I can pick you up and put something in your mouth, or if you were hoping to do the same to me?

That's my new pick up line...thanks GNM

Why hello...nice to meet you...can you please remove your pants and all undergarments as honesty isn't what it should be and I'd like to know if I can pick you up and put something in your mouth, or if you were hoping to do the same to me?

That's my new pick up line...thanks GNM

Anytime. My wisdom is vast and unstable.

And that's why you sign your letters to Ann Landers "Naked in Nevada"

And that's why you sign your letters to Ann Landers "Naked in Nevada"

*peers out window trying to spot telescope*

*peers out window trying to spot telescope*

you won't see it...I'm actually behind you in a closet...but don't open the door...I'm not finished...I MEAN I'M BUSY...

Do you have any kleenex...it's getting sticky in here?

you won't see it...I'm actually behind you in a closet...but don't open the door...I'm not finished...I MEAN I'M BUSY...

Do you have any kleenex...it's getting sticky in here?

I'd be simply amazed if you could find room to hide in one of my closets. Kleenex on your right.

I'd be simply amazed if you could find room to hide in one of my closets. Kleenex on your right.

*stroke*

There's always room for me...I'm not an incredibly large person...

5'7", medium build, 169 lbs.(and shedding)...and I have short hair...that helps...

*stroke*

There's always room for me...I'm not an incredibly large person...

5'7", medium build, 169 lbs.(and shedding)...and I have short hair...that helps...

I have maybe 3 inches of space in any of my given closets. You might be able to fit your pecker in there if you're unfortunate. I'm not implying you are, of course.