NationStates Jolt Archive

I've been wondering for longer than I can remember now; what is Victoria's secret? Has the company ever said anything regarding what Victoria's secret is? Is she bi/lesbo? Does she have some sort of terminal illness? Is s/he a man in drag? Perhaps something even more insidious, like the leader of a new world order plotting to overthrow the current world governments and install a puppet government controlled by aliens from another dimension that plan to kidnap us from our homes in the night and harvest our spleens?

Discuss.

she's a man, baby.

There is cameras in the changing room...shhhh I did not tell you this. Cause I really enjoy this secret. Most of the time.

Who cares, as long as she keeps putting out those catalogs?

Sorry, forgot to put that one in. If your choice isn't listed, put the 4th one from the top, the "something else..." one.

She insists on trying on all the underwear herself before it's shipped.
Wouldn't be so bad, but she also has a yeast infection.

You know, if somebody blabs about it, then it becomes
Victoria's Forthright
or something, and the franchise would be compromised if everyone knew.
It would appear your idea is bordering on dangerous corporate insubordination.
You have been warned.
*shakes finger*


PostScript: I like Demented Hamsters' post. Run with it!

Well if I told you then it really wouldn't be a secret anymore now would it...

There was no secret. The magic was in YOU, all along.

The secret is the less cloth you use the more you can charge.

It was Victoria on the grassy knoll. Also, Victoria was single-handedly responsible for the duck-billed platypus, later calling it a 'hilarious prank'.

Nooo, my spleen is precious to meee! ;)

She cuts herself, I think it's pretty obvious from the lyrics







oh wait, you're not talking bout the Sonata Arctica song? :(

she's a man, baby.
she's hitler after the op.

She has a fetish for Chuck Norris' beard.

I've been wondering for longer than I can remember now; what is Victoria's secret?
Isn't the idea that even the dowdiest girl can look good in the bedroom with their lingerie (thereby revealing her secret to her guy)? A kind of sinister marketing technique. Oh wait, this wasn't a serious thread.

She has a fetish for Chuck Norris' beard.She is Chuck Norris!

She is Chuck Norris!
What!? But she looks so much older than him...

The secret is the less cloth you use the more you can charge.

And this is the only industry where you can offer less and make more.

And this is the only industry where you can offer less and make more.
except for school cafeterias these days

you can spend five dollars and barely be satisfied!
it makes me cry:(

she's a man, baby.
:eek:

I think her secret is that it takes ungodly amounts of duct tape and spackle to squeeze into that crap and look half way like you are supposed to..........

I've been wondering for longer than I can remember now; what is Victoria's secret? Has the company ever said anything regarding what Victoria's secret is? Is she bi/lesbo? Does she have some sort of terminal illness? Is s/he a man in drag? Perhaps something even more insidious, like the leader of a new world order plotting to overthrow the current world governments and install a puppet government controlled by aliens from another dimension that plan to kidnap us from our homes in the night and harvest our spleens?

Discuss.

My spleen shall not be harvested...mostly because it was removed after rupturing when I was 19. :)

My spleen shall not be harvested...mostly because it was removed after rupturing when I was 19. :)
Cool. Can we call you 'The Spleenless Wonder' now?

My spleen shall not be harvested...mostly because it was removed after rupturing when I was 19. :)
In other words, it's already been harvested. Spleens actually don't rupture. That's just a myth concocted to disguise what's really going on.

You do not want to know what they do with your spleen after they harvest it. But that's only a secondary issue anyway. What you should really care about is what they put into you in the place where your spleen used to be. That's Victoria's real secret.

Don't believe me? Look carefully at all of the models in your handy VS catalog. None of them have spleens. How much more proof do you need?

:p

All your boobs are belong to us!


Seriously, I think the big secret is how that stuff holds up until you buy it. I've had the worst luck with VS lingerie. I'm careful to wash it in the special little lingerie bag on the 'handwash' setting, but I gave up after the second bra's underwire burst out and stabbed me in the chest. You couldn't get me to buy VS lingerie now if you paid me. Give me something that's going to hold up to more than one wash for god sake!

She has hedgehogs instead of gentiles and strawberry jam for blood.

All your boobs are belong to us!


Seriously, I think the big secret is how that stuff holds up until you buy it. I've had the worst luck with VS lingerie. I'm careful to wash it in the special little lingerie bag on the 'handwash' setting, but I gave up after the second bra's underwire burst out and stabbed me in the chest. You couldn't get me to buy VS lingerie now if you paid me. Give me something that's going to hold up to more than one wash for god sake!
I had the same thing happen to me, it hurt really bad too. That was the last VS bra I ever bought, You know what annoys me about VS the most though? Until you get up to a C cup they try to push and pad you and then when you hit D then they try to "minimize" you. There isn't a right size with them, either you are too small or too big :headbang:

That's why I started going to another store, I can get my bra however I want it (you know us DD gals need pushing up too sometimes.)

I had the same thing happen to me, it hurt really bad too. That was the last VS bra I ever bought, You know what annoys me about VS the most though? Until you get up to a C cup they try to push and pad you and then when you hit D then they try to "minimize" you. There isn't a right size with them, either you are too small or too big :headbang:

That's why I started going to another store, I can get my bra however I want it (you know us DD gals need pushing up too sometimes.)


Aint that the truth! And I don't know about you, but after nursing two kids, I need some structure! And the stupid straps keep falling off my shoulders. I'm really tired of that. Ah, my queendom for a bra that fits!

I had the same thing happen to me, it hurt really bad too. That was the last VS bra I ever bought, You know what annoys me about VS the most though? Until you get up to a C cup they try to push and pad you and then when you hit D then they try to "minimize" you. There isn't a right size with them, either you are too small or too big :headbang:

That's why I started going to another store, I can get my bra however I want it (you know us DD gals need pushing up too sometimes.)

Poor Smunkee. I have heard it's hard for girls with big boobs to get nice bras.
The only solution is start your own lingerie company and take on evil VS.
Actually that sounds like a great premise for a movie.....
*copyrights everything in sight*©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©
©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©

Aint that the truth! And I don't know about you, but after nursing two kids, I need some structure! And the stupid straps keep falling off my shoulders. I'm really tired of that. Ah, my queendom for a bra that fits!
yeah, when I got married they were a solid D but when I nursed my 1st they got up to an E and shrunk back to a DD :(

I have found a good comfy supportive non-granny bra company, but you have to venture into the Lane Bryant to get them :(

She has hedgehogs instead of gentiles and strawberry jam for blood.
So, hedgehogs are Jews now? That was a secret I suppose.

Anyway, I have recently discovered Victoria's Secret, it is that-
*Gun shots*
They . . . got me . . . I haven't . . . got much . . . time . . . the Secret is pio . . .
*dies*

She has personally tried on everything in the store. She is also a hobo with a highly contagious disese. Put two and two together. What do you get? EVILLLLLL!

So, hedgehogs are Jews now? That was a secret I suppose.

Anyway, I have recently discovered Victoria's Secret, it is that-
*Gun shots*
They . . . got me . . . I haven't . . . got much . . . time . . . the Secret is pio . . .
*dies*


NO!!! Wait, someone do mouth to mouth! Anyone? Come on, there's got to be someone here...No? No one?

And the secret dies with H N Fiddlebottoms!

yeah, when I got married they were a solid D but when I nursed my 1st they got up to an E and shrunk back to a DD :(

I have found a good comfy supportive non-granny bra company, but you have to venture into the Lane Bryant to get them :(


I hear that! Mine did the inflate/deflate thing too. I'm still losing weight and baby is still nursing, so I'm not sure what size I'm going to end up with. I don't want to buy a new nursing bra because she's nearly weaned, but mine are really falling apart. The hooks that hold up the cups are not working so well anymore and they are pilled like crazy. I think when all this is over and my body settles I'll probably be a 36 C. That should make it a little easier to find something!

I hear that! Mine did the inflate/deflate thing too. I'm still losing weight and baby is still nursing, so I'm not sure what size I'm going to end up with. I don't want to buy a new nursing bra because she's nearly weaned, but mine are really falling apart. The hooks that hold up the cups are not working so well anymore and they are pilled like crazy. I think when all this is over and my body settles I'll probably be a 36 C. That should make it a little easier to find something!
geez, now I am jealous. 36 C is the perfect size, you got what you need, but you don't have to deal with Granny-bras, and dirty looks from the A cup crowd.


When I quit nursing I lost like 10 pounds the week after my milk dried up, I suppose my body wanted to keep the baby fat just in case. LOL

(of course I lost like 40lbs from having the baby too, so I suppose I retain water or something)

geez, now I am jealous. 36 C is the perfect size, you got what you need, but you don't have to deal with Granny-bras, and dirty looks from the A cup crowd.


When I quit nursing I lost like 10 pounds the week after my milk dried up, I suppose my body wanted to keep the baby fat just in case. LOL

(of course I lost like 40lbs from having the baby too, so I suppose I retain water or something)


Yeah, it's nice to have an average bra size. When I was still nursing full time I was a DDD and I felt like it made me look even fatter than I was!

Umm, so we'd better find a way to link this back to the original topic...

Victoria's Secret is that she hates women!

Yeah, it's nice to have an average bra size. When I was still nursing full time I was a DDD and I felt like it made me look even fatter than I was!

Umm, so we'd better find a way to link this back to the original topic...

Victoria's Secret is that she hates women!
yeah:D

See, it's usually the cute girl-next-door types that shop at VS, but the product has a connotation that is definitely not girl-next-door. So the secret is that the girl you see every day, is super cute, but you don't really fancy because she's kinda bland, that girl is wearing some super sexy lace thong or something underneath those sweat pants.

Olara']See, it's usually the cute girl-next-door types that shop at VS, but the product has a connotation that is definitely not girl-next-door. So the secret is that the girl you see every day, is super cute, but you don't really fancy because she's kinda bland, that girl is wearing some super sexy lace thong or something underneath those sweat pants.

I like your idea
*pictures sexy lace thongs on every girl even remotely attractive*

I like your idea
*pictures sexy lace thongs on every girl even remotely attractive*
See, that's another secret of hers. When someone tells you (when you're about to give a speech or something) "If you get nervous, just picture everybody in the room in their underwear," it's really a marketing ploy for VS. The more you focus on underwear, the more of their product you will buy.

perhaps shes realy a Transgendered-Japanese-cannibill with a thing for lacy little strips of cloth wedged into the victims ass cracks?

she eats babies.

I'm going with the whole gentile hedgehog thing.