NationStates Jolt Archive

Ok, I'm stuck in a love triangle, and I'm asking the opinion of NSers. My gf and I have been going for 9 months. I'm her first real love, and she wants to marry me. I love her too, but I'm a junior in college, and she's a sophomore. I feel like that's a little too much pressure for now, but that's neither here nor there. A friend of mine (who happens to be rather hot) has recently indicated that she is interested in me. Now, I'm not sure if this is just a "can't have it, so I want it" thing or not, but that doesn't matter all that much either.

My question to you all is, what do I do? Should I take a break with the gf to pursue other options, with the reasoning that we only have one chance in college? Or do I not risk blowing something that could be forever? I'm stuck.

Go to a party, invite both of them to come, but don't actually go with either of them.Then get very drunk.Stay with whoever you wake up next to in the morning

Go to a party, invite both of them to come, but don't actually go with either of them.Then get very drunk.Stay with whoever you wake up next to in the morning

I see that ending with the two of them pouring beer on me at the party, and me never actually making it out of there with either of them.

wait untill you are out of college to get mairred.....and make sure that your friend is not just infatuated

I see that ending with the two of them pouring beer on me at the party, and me never actually making it out of there with either of them.

Well you'll end up with someone.Possibly.............

Threesome!!!!!

you don't really want my advice.................


anyway, why "date" someone seriously if you aren't in a "marriage place" to begin with?

you should date casually until you figure out what you want out of life.


(notice I said date, not have a bunch of sex)

Threesome!!!!!
I agree

I agree

I was just surprised no one else had said it yet. ;)

I was just surprised no one else had said it yet. ;)
we just need one more...............................
<.<
>.>

we just need one more...............................
<.<
>.>

Where's Sinuhue when you need her, huh? ;)

That's not a love triangle..

wait untill you are out of college to get mairred.....and make sure that your friend is not just infatuated

You see, that's my problem. If I wanted to get married now, it would be a no-brainer. I'd keep my current gf. However, even if the other girl is just infatuated, it reminds me that there are other possibilities out there. I'm not sure what to do. Goes back to the original question.

Threesome!!!!!

if only...

Where's Sinuhue when you need her, huh? ;)
Over there --->

I agree with the threesome fellow, but that is probably out. Therefore I suggest you do your hot friend. You're seriously considering it anyway, so there is absolutely no way your relationship with your current GF is going to last. (Unless she's cool with you doing other chicks, in which case she is a keeper).

You see, that's my problem. If I wanted to get married now, it would be a no-brainer. I'd keep my current gf.
why? because you love her and want to spend forever with her? or because it's convienient?
However, even if the other girl is just infatuated, it reminds me that there are other possibilities out there. I'm not sure what to do. Goes back to the original question.
if you are interested in "other possibilities" then it's best for you to not be in any form of commited relationship, until you get that curiosity out of your system.

Over there --->

*runs over there ---> *

Whatever you do, make sure you are honest and up-front.

Of course, this means that neither will ever have sex with you again, but at least you won't be hurting either one of them.

That's not a love triangle..

From Wikipedia:
A love triangle refers to a romantic relationship involving three people. While it can refer to two people independently romantically linked with a third, it usually implies that each of the three people has some kind of relationship to the other two. The relationships can be friendships, romantic, familial (often siblings), or even pre-existing hatred between rivals.

Sounds like a love triangle to me...

I agree with the threesome fellow, but that is probably out. Therefore I suggest you do your hot friend. You're seriously considering it anyway, so there is absolutely no way your relationship with your current GF is going to last. (Unless she's cool with you doing other chicks, in which case she is a keeper).

I'm now "the threesome fellow"?




Actually, I kinda like that. :D

*sigh* Women sure can make life hell for men, can't they? :(

You see, that's my problem. If I wanted to get married now, it would be a no-brainer. I'd keep my current gf. However, even if the other girl is just infatuated, it reminds me that there are other possibilities out there. I'm not sure what to do. Goes back to the original question.


Following the true to life drama that is DOOL, one of them will be an evil, scheming you know what. She'll attempt to kill off the other, and if that fails get herself knocked up and switch paternity tests to make you the father, thereby having you to herself until eventually the child becomes critically ill, needing a blood transfusion, when you will finally learn the truth. My advice to you: Go gay.

From Wikipedia:
A love triangle refers to a romantic relationship involving three people. While it can refer to two people independently romantically linked with a third, it usually implies that each of the three people has some kind of relationship to the other two. The relationships can be friendships, romantic, familial (often siblings), or even pre-existing hatred between rivals.

Sounds like a love triangle to me...I guess I'm just more usual..
The two girls aren't linked, so it's not a triangle afaic.

why? because you love her and want to spend forever with her? or because it's convienient?

if you are interested in "other possibilities" then it's best for you to not be in any form of commited relationship, until you get that curiosity out of your system.

At what point can you settle? At what age does marriage become the best option? I know dirty old men who oogle school girls, does that mean they never should have gotten married? When is it best to play it safe with the girl you have, without wondering if you could have something more? That's my problem. I don't know what's appropriate, and I'm asking your opinion. You seem to be indicating that I should take a break, and play the field. I'm afraid of losing what I have, and yet scared of asking "what if" ten years down the road. That's the balance I'm treading.

I guess I'm just more usual..
The two girls aren't linked, so it's not a triangle afaic.

They know each other and are friends but not close friends.

I'm now "the threesome fellow"?




Actually, I kinda like that. :D

Unless it's with two other guys, I bet.

You could always try and talk it over with your girlfriend. If she doesn't break it off with you for even considering it, you might get some advice to deal with it, and otherwise you no longer have to decide between the two :rolleyes:

*sigh* Women sure can make life hell for men, can't they? :(

Damn their boobies. DAMN YOU BOOBIES!!!!!!!!!!! *shakes fist*

Unless it's with two other guys, I bet.

Well, yeah, that's out, but I'd consider MMF.

At what point can you settle?
never settle.

At what age does marriage become the best option?
it's the best option only if you want to be married for the right reasons, "I'm getting old" or "I am lonely" are not good reasons to get married

I know dirty old men who oogle school girls, does that mean they never should have gotten married?
there is a difference between "looking at the menu" and "thinking about other possibilities"

My husband looks at women, he doesn't ever think about leaving me, or what it would be like with them.

When is it best to play it safe with the girl you have, without wondering if you could have something more?
playing it safe isn't a good strategy, right now, you may think "this is the only chance I have" but later when your find out that isn't true, you may end up resenting her, and that will make both of you miserable

That's my problem. I don't know what's appropriate, and I'm asking your opinion. You seem to be indicating that I should take a break, and play the field.
if you want to explore your other possibilities than playing the field is the only way to do that.

I'm afraid of losing what I have, and yet scared of asking "what if" ten years down the road. That's the balance I'm treading.
you should never let fear dictate what you do. decisions made out of fear are almost always regretted.

you should never let fear dictate what you do. decisions made out of fear are almost always regretted.

Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.

/Yoda

Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.

/Yoda


yeah, he didn't get to be the best Jedi ever by being stupid ;)

i hate love triangles...you love your gf, so stay with her. if somebody's indicating that they're interested in you, even though they know you're not free, then they're probably not the kind of person you're going to want to be with a year or two down the road. finish college. marry your gf. have lots of sex, but no kids. die happy.;)

the question is:
do you really know what you & your gf want out of life... are you on the same train going to the same destination ?.. have you discussed with her how she sees marriage ? who has control of the cheque book ? where you want to live in 5 years time... how many children you/she want/s.. what sort of education you think children should have ? religion ? do you have the same one ? if not, how would you bring up your children ? what sort of education would you want children to have: eg "liberal / private/ public/ military etc. what are your financial priorities ?.... career.. do you believe in a traditional situation...eg mum stays at home.. dad goes out to work...? or would you prefer to be a stay at home dad while she brings in the bucks ? or something in between...? or will you have a nanny while you both work 60 hrs a wk ? do you both agree on any of this ? etc etc when does she want to get married.. now ? or in the future.. but she just wants to be "engaged" now ?
i suggest you have this type of conversation with your gf.. and that should help make things clearer about whether she is the "one" for you and you for her or not...
only after such a conversation, or several conversations.. will you be able to decide if you are going in the same direction and want the same things in life..
after all if she sees marriage as you both hiking round the world together saving the whale and you see it as buying a little house in the suburbs with a white picket fence, two kids and a car and a dog... you have a lot of serious discussions ahead...
and its probably not such a good idea...
but if you are both on the same page... then the other girl is just "grass is greener on the other side of the fence" kind of thing, and can safely be ignored.
if you are not ready /willing to even discuss all this with your gf then you are not ready to think about getting married to her....
hope this helps.

*SNIP*

I am not about to even try reading that mess.

It's been said, but if the situation troubles you this much, you're probably not ready to marry - at least not with the current girlfriend! Plus, marriage and education are tricky to combine.

With marriage off the table... well, avoid being a jerk, is the best advice I can give! Don't stay with the girlfriend if you're just worried about not-being-with-someone, and don't go with the hot friend if you're just wondering-about-other-options. Try and do right by them as much as you can while doing what _you_ want; you're not beholden to them.

I don't think it'll end prettily for everyone, whatever happens - best you can hope for is 2 out of 3 :p

And if you're asking what _I'd_ do... break up with the current g/f and date the friend; you're only young once, enjoy your freedom!