Deep Kimchi
06-12-2005, 14:25
A friend of mine in Iraq sent me an email about her recent adventures in Iraq. Just thought I might share them with you.
My LT swore that my best friend and I were lesbos (not true, dont even go there). So the night before we were to fly out to Iraq he gave me this present. It was a bright red double-headed dildo. It was time for lights out and 1SG was about to do his walk through of the barracks to make sure everyone was there. We stayed in an open bay and all the girls were thinking of ways to torment 1SG one last time. So I put this dildo in the exit sign so that as soon as he opened the door it would hit him in the face. I only had to do 20 pushups. I think he liked it!
Anyway, so the next day we were on a plane and outta there. We had already taken out the last of the trash the night before, barracks had final inspection and I didn't know what to do with this thing. It was freakin HUGE! So I stuffed it into my Camelbak.
Once in country I kinda forgot about it. A month later we get the "no shooting" rule. What happened was haaji's were climbing onto our trucks and stealing shit when we went through the towns. One Joe shot a guy taking MRE's, so they banned us from shooting. These fuckers would climb on the trucks and I didn't want to get in trouble for stabing, so I busted out the doubleheader!!! Can you imagine the look on their face getting beaten with a HUGE penis? Good times!
They started inspecting our trucks when we came back to the camp to make sure we didn't bring back any beer. I didn't want to have to explain it, so one day I decided to toss it out the window. He faught well and will be missed! RIP Doubleheader!
My LT swore that my best friend and I were lesbos (not true, dont even go there). So the night before we were to fly out to Iraq he gave me this present. It was a bright red double-headed dildo. It was time for lights out and 1SG was about to do his walk through of the barracks to make sure everyone was there. We stayed in an open bay and all the girls were thinking of ways to torment 1SG one last time. So I put this dildo in the exit sign so that as soon as he opened the door it would hit him in the face. I only had to do 20 pushups. I think he liked it!
Anyway, so the next day we were on a plane and outta there. We had already taken out the last of the trash the night before, barracks had final inspection and I didn't know what to do with this thing. It was freakin HUGE! So I stuffed it into my Camelbak.
Once in country I kinda forgot about it. A month later we get the "no shooting" rule. What happened was haaji's were climbing onto our trucks and stealing shit when we went through the towns. One Joe shot a guy taking MRE's, so they banned us from shooting. These fuckers would climb on the trucks and I didn't want to get in trouble for stabing, so I busted out the doubleheader!!! Can you imagine the look on their face getting beaten with a HUGE penis? Good times!
They started inspecting our trucks when we came back to the camp to make sure we didn't bring back any beer. I didn't want to have to explain it, so one day I decided to toss it out the window. He faught well and will be missed! RIP Doubleheader!