NationStates Jolt Archive

I got this great little book that is more about causing stress than alleviating it.

Here are a few examples:

Make yourself a Humor Free Zone. If you find yourself laughing, go to the bathroom and pull yourself together.

In the supermarket deface all of the barcodes so they won't scan.

Always make sure you have the last word. Raise the stakes by making that last word "dickhead".

"Every cloud has a silver lining". Don't fall for this drivel. It's just deeply unscientific propaganda put out by optimists. In fact, it is more likely that every cloud has a lead lining which means all of our resevoirs are full of poisoned water.

My own contribution:
Never speak to your partner. If your partner asks you what is wrong, always respond with, "Nothing".

Now it's your turn. Offer more ideas to raise our daily stress levels!

Now it's your turn. Offer more ideas to raise our daily stress levels!

never put your eggs or milk in the fridge.

always set your alarm clock 30 minutes late

never install a firewall and always click the "please scan my omputer for adware" pop ups (Guaranteed to cause stress.)

Become ICT support and don't pay attention in a meeting that somehow resulted in someone from sales becoming the IT strategist and gives you a time of 2 weeks for a company wide roll out of new OS and of course also write the database he has drawn a picture of (so that's what he meant by designed a database, he did a couple of forms in access, just missed off the 30million transaction a day app and server behind it DoH! silly me)

say everything in a sarcastic tone.

remove all toggles from everything you own with zips

agree to babysit for a neighbour

agree to babysit for a neighbour

I definately agree with this one!!! Friends too.

Bite pebbles

Go to the gym and slap the first pumped-up freak you see in the face

Mix up all your CDs into the wrong cases

Mix up all your CDs into the wrong cases

that's my favourite game, similiar to don't label my MP3 CDs and try and then try and loate "village green preservation society" amongst 700+ blank faced bulk media CDs or if you do label them give them a really obvious name like misc#89

Talk Pidgin.
Argue over the smallest things(Like 'your' cock)

Mix up all your CDs into the wrong cases

I do this one naturally.

*Stick Save*

wear itchy clothes, and shoes one size too small.
Never buy a new razor but use an old one indefinitely.

My own contribution:
Never speak to your partner. If your partner asks you what is wrong, always respond with, "Nothing".

Have I dated you?

Have I dated you?

Um..... ? Possibly. Probably not.

Continuoulsy Steal the Apples from the Governors Orchard

Always put your keys/glasses/watch/wallet somewhere else in your house. Never choose obvious spots.

Never check the expiration date of things you buy in the supermarket.

Never try clothes on before buying them. Buy reduced items and try to return them when you find they don't fit once you get home.

(after 3rd marketing call rcvd today (at home and its only 1030))

Always remember to make sure your details are forwarded on every form to whichever marketing company you like and to hell with the DPA disclosure (Data Protection Act)

Always complete and return every bit of junkmail with your real details on.

get a crazy frog or similar ring tone and sign up for a text chat room whilst you are in a pub and make sure you have te volume really high so everyone can see how cool you are.

Fill in any government form, espescially tse that might result in tem haveing to give you money. :D

Since I am going to get some sleep now, I will leave you with a few more.

Write down your worries. Read the list before bedtime.

Take opportunities to give advice whenever possible, especially in areas that you have very little or no knowledge of.

When working on a computer never save as you go, that way when you accidentally erase it everything you worked on for the entire day is lost.

-The Little Book of Stress
Rohan Candappa

Argue over the smallest things(Like 'your' cock)

ROTFLMAO!!

When trying to complete an assignment on time, start two weeks in advance, but instead of actually writing anything, simply look at all the work before you, worry, and sigh a lot. Save all the actual work for 1:00AM the day your work is due.