NationStates Jolt Archive

A friend of mine in his twenties recently made love to a lady in her fifties. When I expressed my concern at how old she was he replied:

" They're never too old,
Until they've gone cold!"

I wonder if any other readers have any similarly amusing rhymes that justify having sex with cloud-heads?

Prize for the best post.

Though the boobs are hanging
Shes good for a banging

Sometimes I disturb myself...

If there's grass on the wicket
It's time to play cricket

If there's wrinkles in her birthday suit, that means she has a floppy chute.

Though the boobs are hanging
Shes good for a banging

Sometimes I disturb myself...

LMAO!

Oh, wait, you wanted justifications. meh

you are so old like you feel ...

I was 17, and made it with a 37 year old. My sisters friend. When she found out, I was in the proverbial doghouse for quite a while. DON'T sleep with your sisters friends! :headbang:

If she likes to suck cock,
Then that old chick must rock!


~EDIT~ I have worse, believe it or not. If you want, I'll post it, but it conjures a very bad image!

I was 17, and made it with a 37 year old. My sisters friend. When she found out, I was in the proverbial doghouse for quite a while. DON'T sleep with your sisters friends! :headbang:

If she likes to suck cock,
Then that old chick must rock!


~EDIT~ I have worse, believe it or not. If you want, I'll post it, but it conjures a very bad image!

Sod it, go for it!

I can't be as bad as:

First you shag her, then you shake her,
Then you dial the Undertaker.
Eeeesh! Surely?

Sod it, go for it!

I can't be as bad as:

First you shag her, then you shake her,
Then you dial the Undertaker.
Eeeesh! Surely?

EDITED for yuckiness!

Awww, did ya have to?

Wirey grey pubes,
And windsock boobs,
A touch of the gout,
She takes her teeth out,
Liver spots, beer gut,
Doesn't matter, got my nut.

A friend of mine in his twenties recently made love to a lady in her fifties. When I expressed my concern at how old she was he replied:

" They're never too old,
Until they've gone cold!"

I wonder if any other readers have any similarly amusing rhymes that justify having sex with cloud-heads?

Prize for the best post.
"CLOUD-HEADS???" WTF, over???

I'll give you a prize, you demeted lil twerp! Bend over! I'll give you the metal of my frakking SHOE!!

Sod it, go for it!

I can't be as bad as:

First you shag her, then you shake her,
Then you dial the Undertaker.
Eeeesh! Surely?


**Applause**

love Has No Age In The Bedroom.
At least not the minutes you spend in it.

love Has No Age In The Bedroom.

Doesn't rhyme, though.

Doesn't rhyme, though.
I know, bad I guess.

Here is a sick story for you.

Me and a group of friends took a trip to Spain this summer.
One night we went out drinking and went to clubs, you know party.
One guy gets so drunk he cant even stand up so one of the guys takes him to a 24/7 coffee place that was on the first floor at our hotel and left him there, he was really drunk too,. At this place a rally old looking woman worked right, she was like 55 or something but she looked like she was 70. She had hair over her lip and armhair just imagine the worst looking woman you have ever seen and you know what I mean.
Any hoo, all of us went back to the hotel at six in the morning and my buddy was his roommate and their room was the first one on the floor we were on so we all went in there to drink one last beer only to find him naked on the floor and that old woman screaming in the bed.
HE HAD SEX WITH HER. OMG.

WHAT THE FUUK.

That was the worst thing i have ever seen in my life. It was so wrong.

I know, bad I guess.

Here is a sick story for you.
~~snip~~

It's bad because she's ugly, not because she's old.

Not that ugly people shouldn't get laid, just that you shouldn't have one night stands with ugly people.

I know, bad I guess.

Here is a sick story for you.

Me and a group of friends took a trip to Spain this summer.
One night we went out drinking and went to clubs, you know party.
One guy gets so drunk he cant even stand up so one of the guys takes him to a 24/7 coffee place that was on the first floor at our hotel and left him there, he was really drunk too,. At this place a rally old looking woman worked right, she was like 55 or something but she looked like she was 70. She had hair over her lip and armhair just imagine the worst looking woman you have ever seen and you know what I mean.
Any hoo, all of us went back to the hotel at six in the morning and my buddy was his roommate and their room was the first one on the floor we were on so we all went in there to drink one last beer only to find him naked on the floor and that old woman screaming in the bed.
HE HAD SEX WITH HER. OMG.

WHAT THE FUUK.

That was the worst thing i have ever seen in my life. It was so wrong.

Aw, dude, thats so rank...geez, he probably won't have anyof his bad karma burned off for pleasuring an ugly lady, since he was drunk and insincere. That blows.

Aw, dude, thats so rank...geez, he probably won't have anyof his bad karma burned off for pleasuring an ugly lady, since he was drunk and insincere. That blows.

Can you imagine if in 20 years he would get a call from Spain or something and the person calling was their son or daughter?

Can you imagine if in 20 years he would get a call from Spain or something and the person calling was their son or daughter?

or even if, in 20 years, he started going out with a younger woman for a change of pace...

Can you imagine if in 20 years he would get a call from Spain or something and the person calling was their son or daughter?

aw, dude...

or even if, in 20 years, he started going out with a younger woman for a change of pace...

aw, dude, no, dude, aw....

that is the most disturbing story i have ever heard in my entire life.