NationStates Jolt Archive


A sport I might actually be good at...

Syniks
01-12-2005, 22:11
Comment: The ultimate in Fight Club inclusiveness! :D


By Hook or by RookIn chessboxing, contestants match moves on the board one round, in the ring the next. Checkmate is as good as a knockout.

By Jeffrey Fleishman
Times Staff Writer
Published December 1, 2005


BERLIN — Martin "Amok" Thomas is jabbing a right, but Frank "so-cool-he-doesn't-need-a-nickname" Stoldt is as elusive as a ribbon in the wind. He can't be hit.

Time.

The gloves come off, and the men hurry across the canvas to the chessboard. (You heard it right.) Amok took a couple of body shots, and he's breathing hard, but he'd better focus. That Stoldt, though, everyone in the gym knows he's this warrior-thinker, slamming the speed clock, cunningly moving his queen amid unraveling bandages and dripping sweat, daring Amok to leave him a sliver of opportunity.

Time.

Velcro rips. Amok slides back into his Everlast gloves, bites down on his mouthpiece, dances along the ropes. His king's in trouble, and his punches couldn't knock lint off a jacket. Stoldt floats toward him like a cloud of big hurt.

Such is the bewildering beauty of chessboxing, alternating rounds of four minutes of chess followed by two minutes of boxing. Victory is claimed in a number of ways, some of them tedious, but the most thrilling are by checkmate and knockout. ... <snip> :eek: :D
Misunderestimates
01-12-2005, 23:18
Haha. No longer can nerds play chess. Oh, the irony...
Ifreann
01-12-2005, 23:21
I won't be happy till wanksterbating is an olympic sport
Baked Hippies
01-12-2005, 23:21
I heard masturbation is a challenging sport. You should try that out. It takes persistence and patience. You also need endurance.
Syniks
01-12-2005, 23:27
1. e4 d6 2. d4 g6 3. Nf3 Bg7 4. Be2 Nf6 5. Nc3 Nbd7 6. e5 Ng4 7. e6 Ndf6 8.exf7+ UPPERCUT! Kf8 9. Bf4 Nh6 10. Qd2 Nxf7 BODYBLOW! 11. O-O-O c6 12. h4 Qa5 13. Ng5 b5 14. a3 Bd7 15. h5 Nxg5 16. Bxg5 h6 17. Bxf6 Rabbit Punch! Bxf6 Rabbit Punch! 18. hxg6 Kg7 19. Rh5 Kxg6 20. Bd3+ UPPERCUT! Kf7 21. Qf4 Rag8 22. Rdh1 Ke8 23. Kb1 Bg5 24. Qe4 Qc7 25. d5 Rf8 26. dxc6 Bf5 27.Nxb5 :D