NationStates Jolt Archive

Okay, the title says it all. I need some advice. How can I do it?

you talk to a girl the same way you talk to a guy, except less bathroom/bedroom humor and more witty comments.;)

As long as you have a penis, you will never truly understand the language of the girl. It is best to smile and nod a lot and, now and then, bring them a gift.

Oh ... and do your best to remember instances and the date associated with them. You'll fail at that, but at least you can try.

you talk to a girl the same way you talk to a guy, except less bathroom/bedroom humor and more witty comments.;)
Depends on the girl, or woman.

Some like bathroom humor, and some don't like a smart-ass.

Just be yourself. Be honest, and treat her the way you would treat yourself.

Thanks, guys. :)

Depends on the girl, or woman.

Some like bathroom humor, and some don't like a smart-ass.
most even if they do like bathroom humor, won't laugh at it until they know you well. Being a smart-ass is much better recieved (as long as it isn't directed at her)

Just be yourself. Be honest, and treat her the way you would treat yourself.
that's pretty good advice.

treat them with honor and respect, and other than that, relax and be yourself, be honest :D

be honest. brutally honest.

Apparantly from what I have found (after marriage and several long term relationships)

Girls, don' like to have farting burping piss the highest competitions
(Dutch Ovens are a definate no-no)

Unless they are wearing sporting para. forget it

They don't look in te hanky afetr tey ave sneezed, and I'm pretty sure tey don't theck te Tp to see if tey draw a blank

For some unknown reason they ave a total inability to put toiletseats up

other than tat prepare yourself for total humiliation and rejection, after tat anything else is a result.

treat them with honor and respect, and other than that, relax and be yourself, be honest :D
He speaks truth.


On a side note, women are evil.

There are exceptions to "be honest". Try your best to avoid answering questions directly. They don't want an answer, they probably just want some reassurance. Ask them what they think if they ask any of the following:

1. Does this make my ass look big?
2. What do you think of my mother?
3. What movie should we go see?
4. What would you like to do?

And so on. Do not, I repeat: DO NOT, answer these questions honestly.

There are exceptions to "be honest". Try your best to avoid answering questions directly. They don't want an answer, they probably just want some reassurance. Ask them what they think if they ask any of the following:

1. Does this make my ass look big?
2. What do you think of my mother?
3. What movie should we go see?
4. What would you like to do?

And so on. Do not, I repeat: DO NOT, answer these questions honestly.

No, if you answer these questions honestly, and it becomes a problem, you need to find another woman.

There are nice women out there who appreciate an honest answer.

There are exceptions to "be honest". Try your best to avoid answering questions directly. They don't want an answer, they probably just want some reassurance. Ask them what they think if they ask any of the following:

1. Does this make my ass look big?
2. What do you think of my mother?
3. What movie should we go see?
4. What would you like to do?

And so on. Do not, I repeat: DO NOT, answer these questions honestly.
you are making things too complicated, smart ass remarks do fine in these situations (she will have come to expect them from you and will quit asking all together after a while)

don't ever lie to a girl, if you can't answer honestly then make a joke (unless you made her cry, then don't say anything, just cuddle and listen to her)

No, if you answer these questions honestly, and it becomes a problem, you need to find another woman.


Yeah ... good luck with that ... they network, you know.

There are exceptions to "be honest". Try your best to avoid answering questions directly. They don't want an answer, they probably just want some reassurance. Ask them what they think if they ask any of the following:

1. Does this make my ass look big?
2. What do you think of my mother?
3. What movie should we go see?
4. What would you like to do?

And so on. Do not, I repeat: DO NOT, answer these questions honestly.

Now for the correct answers...

1: Your ass looks great.

2: She made you didn't she?

3: Anything with you.

4: Whatever you want to do.

Though you can be more specific with 3 and 4, the first two are dead-on choices.

Oh and make sure to exaggerate all of her positive attributes, and ignore any minor ones that you find, or at least down-play them, or use them in a way to make it sound "cute". ((Be careful with that though))

There are exceptions to "be honest". Try your best to avoid answering questions directly. They don't want an answer, they probably just want some reassurance. Ask them what they think if they ask any of the following:

1. Does this make my ass look big?
2. What do you think of my mother?
3. What movie should we go see?
4. What would you like to do?

And so on. Do not, I repeat: DO NOT, answer these questions honestly.
1. No, the box of hohos you eat every 10 minutes did that. (leave off the part after the No.)
2. I'm grateful to her for bringing you into this world.
3. and 4. You should answer honestly.

Yeah ... good luck with that ... they network, you know.
Ah, you're not talking about women - you're talking about "bitches".

There's an analogue in men - they're called "assholes".

Plenty of nice men and women out there.

Just take it out and say "Ever seen on of these- OUTSIDE a circus tent?"

Works like a charm.

Be honest sounds like a good advice. I'd add "don't pretend to be something you really are not"... you know... try NOT to act like you do when around your mates.

1. No, the box of hohos you eat every 10 minutes did that. (leave off the part after the No.)
2. I'm grateful to her for bringing you into this world.
3. and 4. You should answer honestly.
yeah, thanks for proving my point, dork.

* yes I am married to him, and yes the smart-ass answer for #1 has almost entirely stopped me from asking him questions like that.

Just take it out and say "Ever seen on of these- OUTSIDE a circus tent?"

Works like a charm.

Yeah, but make sure it doesn't bite you or you could get rabies.

Ah, you're not talking about women - you're talking about "bitches".

Ah, no ... my mother is a woman, my wife is a woman, and I have 3 daughters ... I've seen them all in action and none of them are "bitches". Women control the world ... it's best to remain passive.

There are exceptions to "be honest". Try your best to avoid answering questions directly. They don't want an answer, they probably just want some reassurance. Ask them what they think if they ask any of the following:

1. Does this make my ass look big?
2. What do you think of my mother?
3. What movie should we go see?
4. What would you like to do?

And so on. Do not, I repeat: DO NOT, answer these questions honestly.

ROFLMAO!!!!! :D

Just take it out and say "Ever seen on of these- OUTSIDE a circus tent?"

Works like a charm.

:eek:

It's true, it's not just bitches who network. They communicate with each other by alternately giggling, saying "Oh my God!" and writing varying amounts of Xs down.

Don't think you can just get "tips on talking to women" and be set for life. We're people, just like you, so one set of guidelines isn't going to set you up forever. Looking at the lists people have given of stuff girls do and don't do, I could point out at least one girl(myself or my friends) who doesn't fit what was said, often more.

Now, having said that, honesty and common interests are a very good place to start. If you've got nothing in common with someone, why would you want to be with them? I know I feel the same way. I'd rather be with someone who's kind of awkward around women but also plays videogames and writes than some guy I've got nothing in common with but "knows how to talk to women."

As to the list of questions "to never answer honestly:" there are good honest answers to them. They involve a cool little thing called tact. Don't say something makes her look fat, say it doesn't flatter her figure, and maybe this dress would work better. What movie we should go see? One you would both enjoy, obviously, since a relationship isn't about one party "winning" and the other "losing," it's about a healthy relationship between two people. That means equality.

Don't worry so much. :) There's really no trick to it. Think about how you would go about making a new friend. What questions would you ask? Where would you go to meet someone you would enjoy being around? That sort of thing. If you hate clubs, don't go there looking for women because you'll find women who like clubs. Go to the movies or something instead.

Good luck. :)

be honest. brutally honest.
Lie. Lie about everything. You don't want to scare them.

Don't think you can just get "tips on talking to women" and be set for life. We're people, just like you, so one set of guidelines isn't going to set you up forever. Looking at the lists people have given of stuff girls do and don't do, I could point out at least one girl(myself or my friends) who doesn't fit what was said, often more.

Now, having said that, honesty and common interests are a very good place to start. If you've got nothing in common with someone, why would you want to be with them? I know I feel the same way. I'd rather be with someone who's kind of awkward around women but also plays videogames and writes than some guy I've got nothing in common with but "knows how to talk to women."

As to the list of questions "to never answer honestly:" there are good honest answers to them. They involve a cool little thing called tact. Don't say something makes her look fat, say it doesn't flatter her figure, and maybe this dress would work better. What movie we should go see? One you would both enjoy, obviously, since a relationship isn't about one party "winning" and the other "losing," it's about a healthy relationship between two people. That means equality.

Don't worry so much. :) There's really no trick to it. Think about how you would go about making a new friend. What questions would you ask? Where would you go to meet someone you would enjoy being around? That sort of thing. If you hate clubs, don't go there looking for women because you'll find women who like clubs. Go to the movies or something instead.

Good luck. :)

I heard that men who start conversations with women they don't know are usually considered (by the women in question) to be stalkers. Plus, I'm shy. :headbang:

Is this girls in general, or one particular girl?

Won't laugh unless they know you well?? what??
most of the women/girls/ladies I know,,, will laugh a sick nervous laugh if you say, well you know the words...

I heard that men who start conversations with women they don't know are usually considered (by the women in question) to be stalkers. Plus, I'm shy. :headbang:
Not really, it depends on how you approach said woman, if you are looking at your feet and quiet, she may think you are creepy rather than shy. Look at her, make eye contact, smile, introduce yourself, and start talking, if you can't think of something to say then compliment her.

Is this girls in general, or one particular girl?

The latter.

I heard that men who start conversations with women they don't know are usually considered (by the women in question) to be stalkers. Plus, I'm shy. :headbang:

We're also so used to guys "lying about everything," as the advice given above says to. Besides, being cautious is a good trait for anyone to have, not just women, though if they blow someone off just because they struck up a conversation they're either really paranoid or the aforementioned bitches, in which case I would leave them to their business.

Don't worry about being shy. :) Striking up a conversation about nothing usually doesn't work, but if you're sitting near someone mentioning something going on in the third person(ie something going on nearby) is often a GREAT place to start. It gives off less a feeling of "what does he want with me?"

Don't worry about being shy. :) Striking up a conversation about nothing usually doesn't work, but if you're sitting near someone mentioning something going on in the third person(ie something going on nearby) is often a GREAT place to start. It gives off less a feeling of "what does he want with me?"

*Strokes chin thoughtfully*

I just might do that. Thanks. :)

No, if you answer these questions honestly, and it becomes a problem, you need to find another woman.

There are nice women out there who appreciate an honest answer.
it's true that most girls would prefer a reassuring answer to an honest one. but my girlfriend, who is without a doubt the most awesome person in the world, and I, have conversations like these (actual quotes):

"do you think i'm fat?" "not even a little (honest answer; she's in great shape)" "if i became fat, would you tell me?" "(becomming nervous, but still honset) ya, i would" "thanks, you're awesome"

"do these pants make my ass look big?" "ya, they do (still honest)" "crap. are you sure?" "very" "okay"

isn't that weird? i'm always seeing my friends with scars from telling their gf's they are "pleasantly plump" or "those pants don't work for you". lucky me, getting a girl who actually wants an answer...there aren't many of them, if you ever find one, grab ahold and hang on as if she's the only girl alive. by the way, if you're kissing a girl, and she says "oh shit", as she's kissing you? don't stop kissing her to see what's wrong. it means you stole her gum and she's going to steal it back from you, except when you open your mouth, it falls out, and she catches it, and any possibility of a "tongue war" is shot to hell:(

The latter.
That's what I thought....

I feel you pain. And I even know the girl very well. We're good friends, but I still have a hard time talking to her now that other feelings have devoloped. Even though she is scary to talk to, I still do. Which is the first part of my advice, is just deal with being scared, because some of us are scared of women. We have to live with that. The rest of my advice is, be a friend first, be yourself. And above all be honest and sincere.

Now for the correct answers...

1: Your ass looks great.

2: She made you didn't she?

3: Anything with you.

4: Whatever you want to do.

Though you can be more specific with 3 and 4, the first two are dead-on choices.

Oh and make sure to exaggerate all of her positive attributes, and ignore any minor ones that you find, or at least down-play them, or use them in a way to make it sound "cute". ((Be careful with that though))
I'm drowning in the sea of sugar-flavoured cheese.

All your above suggestions are too nice, that is boring. Make jokes about her flaws. Don't be an approval-seeking suckup.

it's true that most girls would prefer a reassuring answer to an honest one. but my girlfriend, who is without a doubt the most awesome person in the world, and I, have conversations like these (actual quotes):

"do you think i'm fat?" "not even a little (honest answer; she's in great shape)" "if i became fat, would you tell me?" "(becomming nervous, but still honset) ya, i would" "thanks, you're awesome"

"do these pants make my ass look big?" "ya, they do (still honest)" "crap. are you sure?" "very" "okay"

isn't that weird? i'm always seeing my friends with scars from telling their gf's they are "pleasantly plump" or "those pants don't work for you". lucky me, getting a girl who actually wants an answer...there aren't many of them, if you ever find one, grab ahold and hang on as if she's the only girl alive. by the way, if you're kissing a girl, and she says "oh shit", as she's kissing you? don't stop kissing her to see what's wrong. it means you stole her gum and she's going to steal it back from you, except when you open your mouth, it falls out, and she catches it, and any possibility of a "tongue war" is shot to hell:(

I've just got to say that is about the cutest thing I've ever heard. Good job finding a great woman. :D

That's what I thought....

I feel you pain. And I even know the girl very well. We're good friends, but I still have a hard time talking to her now that other feelings have devoloped. Even though she is scary to talk to, I still do. Which is the first part of my advice, is just deal with being scared, because some of us are scared of women. We have to live with that. The rest of my advice is, be a friend first, be yourself. And above all be honest and sincere.

In my case, "terrified" would be a better word. :(

it's true that most girls would prefer a reassuring answer to an honest one. but my girlfriend, who is without a doubt the most awesome person in the world, and I, have conversations like these (actual quotes):

"do you think i'm fat?" "not even a little (honest answer; she's in great shape)" "if i became fat, would you tell me?" "(becomming nervous, but still honset) ya, i would" "thanks, you're awesome"

"do these pants make my ass look big?" "ya, they do (still honest)" "crap. are you sure?" "very" "okay"

isn't that weird? i'm always seeing my friends with scars from telling their gf's they are "pleasantly plump" or "those pants don't work for you". lucky me, getting a girl who actually wants an answer...there aren't many of them, if you ever find one, grab ahold and hang on as if she's the only girl alive. by the way, if you're kissing a girl, and she says "oh shit", as she's kissing you? don't stop kissing her to see what's wrong. it means you stole her gum and she's going to steal it back from you, except when you open your mouth, it falls out, and she catches it, and any possibility of a "tongue war" is shot to hell:(

being honest works out best for you in the end anyway. I have learned that if I don't want the 100% truth, then I shouldn't ask my husband anything.

I also know, that if he isn't joking then he is being 100% honest, I don't have to worry about what he "really means" because I already know, which in turn has gotten me to play less of the "games" I was taught to play.

out of experience all girls no matter what race, creed and relationship status will love a hug and too a lesser extent being tickled

though if your want to bang a girl be friends with her for some reason girls think its hot like a steaming brew of LOVE and remember to sit on a hill chatting about nothing for a few hours and when you can take no more make your move (the longer you chat the better)

I'm drowning in the sea of sugar-flavoured cheese.

All your above suggestions are too nice, that is boring. Make jokes about her flaws. Don't be an approval-seeking suckup. It's hard to walk the tightrope between lying brown-nosing and chauvinistic smugness. Best not to bother.

tisk tisk tisk, to think we've sunk to low as to discuss our girl problems on the forum. :P

The best way to talk to a girl, is not to talk at all. LISTEN. Actually respond in a way so that they don't think that the only reason your looking in their general direction is not because their the only boobs and hot ass in the general vacinity, respond to them and actually 'talk,' you might even trying having an intelligent conversation; most girls respond positively to that.

Best way is to find out about each other is to ask questions. You start the conversation, asking a few normal questions. (i.e. What's your fav color? for lack of imagination) Then listen to her answers and find some comon ground, something you both like or do, be it cursing out a teacher you both hate, or a movie that recently came out (in that case just lie and hope the preveiws you saw where enough) and get to chatting.

Also, get to talking with their best friends as well. Cuz if they hate you, then you just lost a really good chance of dating her. Earn their friends trust and friendship and you have the girl.

So, sweet words and peotry work if she likes the old fashioned; but if not then be yourself.

out of experience all girls no matter what race, creed and relationship status will love a hug and too a lesser extent being tickled

Ah, but do you really think walking up to a girl I don't even know and giving her a hug and tickling her would be a good idea?

out of experience all girls no matter what race, creed and relationship status will love a hug and too a lesser extent being tickled

Women don't like being tickled if it makes it hard to breathe. *raises hand*

After rewieving this whole thread, here's my answer...

First, you have to determine why you are talking to a her in the first place...

If it's just to ask directions or some other mundane thing, you can treat them like any other almost normal person.

If it's because you are hoping to have a meaningful relationship with her (with loads of kinky sex), be honest -yet tactful. Share your innermost secrets like you never would with your mates. When first talking to her, shyness might be considered a good thing.

If you are hoping for a one-night stand... it really doesn't matter what you say as long as it's witty and alpha maleish. Lie a lot. When first talking to her, shyness might be considered a good thing... or a bad thing.

It's hard to walk the tightrope between lying brown-nosing and chauvinistic smugness. Best not to bother.
It's like I said, be honest, and if you can't then make a joke. ;)

First, you have to determine why you are talking to a her in the first place...

Because she's purdy.

Because she's purdy.
opening line : you are beautiful.

either she will blush or laugh, either way you can smile and start talking to her about something else (that is unless she hits you, then you should look at her like she's crazy and go find another girl)

It's like I said, be honest, and if you can't then make a joke. ;) So if you want to be secretive, you cover it with caustic comments?

That works on anyone.

opening line : you are beautiful.

either she will blush or laugh, either way you can smile and start talking to her about something else (that is unless she hits you, then you should look at her like she's crazy and go find another girl)

No way, she'll think I'm a stalker.

No way, she'll think I'm a stalker.
wait, how well do you know her? have you talked to her before? does she know who you are?

I can help, honest.

wait, how well do you know her? have you talked to her before? does she know who you are?

I can help, honest.

I usually end up sitting next to her in the computer lab. She uses the computer next to mine. We've never talked or interacted, though. All I know is her name (I stole a glance at her computer screen).

wait, how well do you know her? have you talked to her before? does she know who you are?

I can help, honest.

A nice smile helps.

3: Anything with you.

4: Whatever you want to do.

Ok that sounds grate untill the girl is sriously asking what to do; which is the problme i have, she wants me to pick. solution: turn it into a 1/2 hour slap ass game:D then come up with something fun to do(not nessisarily sexual), be carful with the movies at that point becouse she will proboly get you to make a nother desision that my be more dangerous, but with that kind of girl she's proboly being hnist when she says " i don't kair. i just want to be with you." in wich case just find a movie that wount affender too much (grafic horrer, pornos, ect)but you like. oh ya dont play slap ass in public too much even if you both like it youll get yeled at real quick by some grandma(i love both of mine very much) or some other prick

So if you want to be secretive, you cover it with caustic comments?

That works on anyone.
not caustic........funny. It pays to be honest anyway.

Do these jeans make my butt look big?

Do you want them to?

no

oh, then maybe wear something else, something is wrong with those jeans.

A nice smile helps.

I don't have a nice smile. :(

I usually end up sitting next to her in the computer lab. She uses the computer next to mine. We've never talked or interacted, though. All I know is her name (I stole a glance at her computer screen).

Ask her for help.

I usually end up sitting next to her in the computer lab. She uses the computer next to mine. We've never talked or interacted, though. All I know is her name (I stole a glance at her computer screen).
next time she sits by you fake computer illiterate. Ask her for help with something, if she helps you then compliment and thank her and go from there, if she is likewise illiterate, then ask her to "help" you figure it out, work on it together, then when you get it fixed (reboot if you have to) ask her if she would like to go get coffee sometime.

Be ready with witty computer jokes, so that there isn't a long awkward silence when you are trying to work on it. Introduce yourself first off, you will seem less creepy if she knows your name.

I don't have a nice smile. :(
work on your most confident least creepy smile, try out your intro in front of a mirror. It doesn't matter so much the shape of the smile, as much as the presentation.

I don't have a nice smile. :(
Better learn how.

A potential partner (male or female) will usually prefer a person who is confident, but not overly so - pleasant, but not overly so - funny, but not overly so - relaxed, but not overly so. See where this is going? You don't have to be Superman, and you don't have to impress her.

A reasonably self-assured person should not have a problem with a natural smile.

*Sigh*

No offense, but you guys make it all sound so easy. :(

I usually end up sitting next to her in the computer lab. She uses the computer next to mine. We've never talked or interacted, though. All I know is her name (I stole a glance at her computer screen).

Ahh this reminds me of something that happened while i was in High school, A girl i had a crush on sat next to me in computer class and i scared to talk to her cause i am very shy. Luckly she wasnt that good with computers and always asked me or the boy on the other side of her (it was boy-girl-boy-girl seating setup) for help. Talking to her about something i knew got me over the fear i had. Unfortunately, the monday i firmly decided i was going to ask her out the guy who sat on the other side beat me to it and they started a long-term relationship that lasted most of high school.

Ahh this reminds me of something that happened while i was in High school, A girl i had a crush on sat next to me in computer class and i scared to talk to her cause i am very shy. Luckly she wasnt that good with computers and always asked me or the boy on the other side of her (it was boy-girl-boy-girl seating setup) for help. Talking to her about something i knew got me over the fear i had. Unfortunately, the monday i firmly decided i was going to ask her out the guy who sat on the other side beat me to it and they started a long-term relationship that lasted most of high school.

Damn, sorry to hear that. That bastard.

*Sigh*

No offense, but you guys make it all sound so easy. :(

It's only hard if you're not being yourself.

It's only hard if you're not being yourself.

I'm always myself. Myself just happens to be a coward.

Okay, the title says it all. I need some advice. How can I do it?

You can start by saying "hi"

One simple thing to have; confidence! Girls like that. If she is gorgeous, approach her. You might be stunned how many good looking girls don't date much because guys assume she has somebody because she is hot.....

There are exceptions to "be honest". Try your best to avoid answering questions directly. They don't want an answer, they probably just want some reassurance. Ask them what they think if they ask any of the following:

1. Does this make my ass look big?
2. What do you think of my mother?
3. What movie should we go see?
4. What would you like to do?

And so on. Do not, I repeat: DO NOT, answer these questions honestly.
Well lets see, with the girl I'm currently sort of seeing, or whatever she wants to make of it, anyway, the answers to these questions would be:

1: They make your ass look huge! And smile really big after saying that.
2: Your mother is awesome. I'm not kidding, her mother is really cool
3: She knows I don't care as long as I spend the time with her, so she wouldn't ask to begin with
4: Ditto

*Sigh*

No offense, but you guys make it all sound so easy. :(
It's probably easy to me because I am looking at it from the female prospective. I know it's hard to ask someone out (I have done it before, badly) but, you have to do it at least once to make sure you can live through it. (you will, I swear)

Alot of my advice goes both ways, if you want to make friends/find romance with someone, you have to be yourself (only a little bit better) be confident.

I know it sounds cheesy, but write down a list of your qualities, and say them out loud to yourself everyday, after a while you will start to see that you are a pretty great person, and that you deserve to talk to whoever you want to.

I do it, it helps me first because of my anxiety disorder, and second it helps me fight depression.

I am honest
I am funny
I am smart
People like me
People love me
ect.

I do it, it helps me first because of my anxiety disorder, and second it helps me fight depression.

I also have depression. I also have Asperger's.

I know it sounds cheesy, but write down a list of your qualities, and say them out loud to yourself everyday, after a while you will start to see that you are a pretty great person, and that you deserve to talk to whoever you want to.

I do it, it helps me first because of my anxiety disorder, and second it helps me fight depression.

I am honest
I am funny
I am smart
People like me
People love me
ect.

I sound like a parrot, but this really is good advice even as a general confidence-booster. Saying things creates them, to an extent(obviously you can't just say "girlfriend" and have one appear!). You'll feel silly doing it the first few times, I know I did, but it'll become more natural as time goes on, which is a good thing. If you say it and mean it and it sounds right, it's working. :D

it's true that most girls would prefer a reassuring answer to an honest one. but my girlfriend, who is without a doubt the most awesome person in the world, and I, have conversations like these (actual quotes):

"do you think i'm fat?" "not even a little (honest answer; she's in great shape)" "if i became fat, would you tell me?" "(becomming nervous, but still honset) ya, i would" "thanks, you're awesome"

"do these pants make my ass look big?" "ya, they do (still honest)" "crap. are you sure?" "very" "okay"

congrads and good luck with her. she is asome. (oh for the fat ass bit tell her you like it.;))

Just be yourself. Be honest, and treat her the way you would treat yourself.
*nods*

I also have depression. I also have Asperger's.
This?

Individuals with AS can exhibit a variety of characteristics and the disorder can range from mild to severe. Persons with AS show marked deficiencies in social skills, have difficulties with transitions or changes and prefer sameness. They often have obsessive routines and may be preoccupied with a particular subject of interest. They have a great deal of difficulty reading nonverbal cues (body language) and very often the individual with AS has difficulty determining proper body space. Often overly sensitive to sounds, tastes, smells, and sights, the person with AS may prefer soft clothing, certain foods, and be bothered by sounds or lights no one else seems to hear or see. It's important to remember that the person with AS perceives the world very differently.

I also have depression. I also have Asperger's.
things are going to be a little harder then, but you can do it.

My anxiety got so bad at one point that I couldn't even leave the house, I almost had a panic attack on my first date with my husband because the pool hall was too crowded. Things happen, you will have set backs, but you can bounce back.

You seem to be okay online, maybe after you ask her out to coffee, get her email address, or her IM, it will be easier to talk to her when you are more comfortable.

This?

Individuals with AS can exhibit a variety of characteristics and the disorder can range from mild to severe. Persons with AS show marked deficiencies in social skills, have difficulties with transitions or changes and prefer sameness. They often have obsessive routines and may be preoccupied with a particular subject of interest. They have a great deal of difficulty reading nonverbal cues (body language) and very often the individual with AS has difficulty determining proper body space. Often overly sensitive to sounds, tastes, smells, and sights, the person with AS may prefer soft clothing, certain foods, and be bothered by sounds or lights no one else seems to hear or see. It's important to remember that the person with AS perceives the world very differently.

Bingo.

You seem to be okay online, maybe after you ask her out to coffee, get her email address, or her IM, it will be easier to talk to her when you are more comfortable.

Thanks.

Bingo.
Have you had any instruction on friendship skills or social skills?

I know it sounds cheesy, but write down a list of your qualities, and say them out loud to yourself everyday, after a while you will start to see that you are a pretty great person, and that you deserve to talk to whoever you want to.

I do it, it helps me first because of my anxiety disorder, and second it helps me fight depression.

I am honest
I am funny
I am smart
People like me
People love me
ect.
i tried that but you can't say those things when they're not true. or when you believe they're not true. i can't lie to myself :(

but i'm starting to get a real (external) sense of self worth thanks to a girl, so thats ok :)


but back on topic, advice on asking girls out: i understand the 'rehearse-then-blurt it out' method is quite good if nervousness is a problem. personally i was always too nervous to do it at school so i'm probably not the kinda guy the OP wants advice from :p
but there's someone out there for everyone. used to think that was BS but there's even someone for me so it must be true! :eek: :D

edit: i think the key is getting to know the girl a little first and not asking out someone you hardly know (cos that does seem werid = nervousness)

Have you had any instruction on friendship skills or social skills?

Some, yes. I have no problem talking to men or girls I'm not attracted to. Girls I'm attracted to, on the other hand, that's a different story.

I'm always myself. Myself just happens to be a coward. Nothing cowardly about it. Fear of the unknown (ie, women) is a survival trait.

Ah, but do you really think walking up to a girl I don't even know and giving her a hug and tickling her would be a good idea?

HELL NO. BAD PERVERT. in this socity(USA) phisical contat is creepy. good frends and family only(allthou i do know seiral old school familys that hug as a greating as you enter their house so you could pass it as a greating if she visits you.) the tickeling stuf is for dating copels and familys ONLY.

Just use great pickup lines. For example:
I find the most erotic part of a woman to be the boob.

Some, yes. I have no problem talking to men or girls I'm not attracted to. Girls I'm attracted to, on the other hand, that's a different story.
Ah. Well, I'll let you in on a secret - almost everyone has that problem. It's not AS related.

Nothing cowardly about it. Fear of the unknown (ie, women) is a survival trait.
So you're saying fear of women is a survival trait?
I'd love to hear you discuss that with Darwin :D

Just use great pickup lines. For example:
I find the most erotic part of a woman to be the boob.

It'd work, if my intention were to be kicked in the nuts or slapped silly.

So you're saying fear of women is a survival trait?
I'd love to hear you discuss that with Darwin :D It's the women's fault. They're exterminating good human memes and DNA.

Get really, really stoned. Make sure said girl is similarly wasted. The conversation should just flow naturally, about random and meaningless things.

At least, thats how it has always worked for me.

So you're saying fear of women is a survival trait?
I'd love to hear you discuss that with Darwin :D
Fear of german women maybe.
You just need to see girls as human and speak to them like friends instead of a weird inhuman species that need to be tricked and decieved.

Just use great pickup lines. For example:
I find the most erotic part of a woman to be the boob.
*honk honk*

further example: "i suffer from a very sexy learning disorder... its called sexlexia ;)"

*Sigh*

No offense, but you guys make it all sound so easy. :(

it is if you found a nice girl. perfict(or neer perfict) girls are the scaryest. try to find someone who looks good and is sweet their rather easy to talk to. oh if your going to ask them out make shur that they would be some one you can live with.

There are exceptions to "be honest". Try your best to avoid answering questions directly. They don't want an answer, they probably just want some reassurance. Ask them what they think if they ask any of the following:

1. Does this make my ass look big?
2. What do you think of my mother?
3. What movie should we go see?
4. What would you like to do?

And so on. Do not, I repeat: DO NOT, answer these questions honestly.

The correct answers are

1. Does this make my ass look big? - Damn right it does J-lo!(does'nt matter if it is or not)
2. What do you think of my mother? - That witch!
3. What movie should we go see? What ever movie I want to see.
4. What would you like to do? We are doing what I want to do honey.

Last thing you want to do is come off like a pushover.

1. Does this make my ass look big?




My favorite response? "Gargantuan!"

Nobody in their right mind could take that word seriously heh

Fear of german women maybe.
You just need to see girls as human and speak to them like friends instead of a weird inhuman species that need to be tricked and decieved.
Wait, what? German women? What do they have that I don't?? ;)

I sincerely hope nobody talks to women like they need to be tricked and decieved! ...And there I always thought you only had one thing on your mind :p

i tried that but you can't say those things when they're not true. or when you believe they're not true. i can't lie to myself :(
sometimes you have to "lie" to yourself, I didn't believe half the stuff I say every morning when I started saying it. When I started I was the lowest of low, I was just out of the hospital from a suicide hold, and I didn't think I was worth anything I remember thinking "I ruin everything, I am stupid and irresponisble, my family would be better off without me" I wrote it all down (it ended up being about 4 pages long) and called my doctor about it, thinking I could convince him that I was worthless, it didn't work out well.

He listened and the first thing he said was "you seem to be a good writer, I liked how you used symbolism to help me understand how you are feeling"

"I said I wasn't trying to"

"oh, then you must be a natural when it comes to writing"

it was the first compliment that I had paid attention to in like 2 years, he then told me to make a list of things that I like about myself, it was 3 items long, he then told me to write a list of things I want to be able to like about myself (that list was much longer, it's easy to find things you don't have when you are depressed)

It was that list that I started reciting. Some of them weren't true about myself at the time, but most of them are now.

but i'm starting to get a real (external) sense of self worth thanks to a girl, so thats ok :)
which is wonderful, but you need to make it your own, in case she doesn't get to stick around long.

Alright...
I've dated my fair share of girls and I've had a few long term relationships so here are my tips:

1. Drink some alcohol. Don't get stone drunk! Just enough so that you lose some of the worst inhibitions. It helps if she's a little tipsy too actually...

2. Look her in the eyes when she's talking or when you're saying something that's somewhat important. Don't stare!

3. It's actually okay to check out her features with a quick glance, The majority of girls I've known and know don't find this insulting cause for sure, they've checked you out too. Don't stare thought and don't ever look at her breasts when she's talking to you!

4. Be witty and don't be afraid to tell a somewhat rude or dirty joke. If she doesn't like that and is offended, do you really think a relationship would have a long-term prospect? If she doesn't like that and isn't offended, good, you've found yourself a winner and keep to more sophisticated jokes throughout the evening.

5. Dress nice, but don't overdo it. Don't check your reflection in mirrors or windows unless you know beforehand that she's into narcisissts. Brush your teeth. Twice.

6. Have a confident pose, straighten your back. Don't do the Ali-G pose unless you're 50 Cent or want to look like a player.

7. Don't lie, not about important stuff atleast. Don't lie to make yourself seem better, it will surface at the absolutly worst possible moment and fuck things up badly.(been there done that...*sigh*)

8. Compliment her, subtly though. She'll know when you say something nice to her. Finesse my friend, finesse.

9. Don't bring rubbers. If she would find them and she's not the easy type, she might be offended. If you still do and she finds them, joke it away.

10. Pay for the food and movie if its a date. And her cab if you don't drive her. Dutch may be okay later if she can support herself, but first date, c'mon...

11. Tip the waiter or waitress. Good but not in excess, you're not cheap, are you?

12. Some girls like flowers alot, but some may think you're taking it overy serious if you show up with a hundred red roses at the first date. If you really want to give her flowers, buy her ten pink roses with some nice scent.

13. Let her talk as much as she wants but don't be afraid to have your say. Your opinions don't have to match a 100%. Its more fun if you have something to have a friendly argument about. And if that surfaces, don't push your point too far. Agree to disagree is a wonderful thing.

14. Don't show off with money or cars or clothes. She'll notice if you got style.

15. Don't ever brag for too long or too wildly. A little brag about something that's actually true, followed by a humble remark and a smile can be great though.

16. Ask her important questions, don't just small-talk. Good topics to bring up: Passions, love and hates, movies/books/music, sports if she's a sporty type. Politics and religion can wait until the second date, although if the subject comes up, don't run away from it.

17. Don't be afraid to laugh or tease her a little, kindly though mind you...

That was just my small experience in a nutshell... of course there's lots and lots more you can do, but this should keep you somewhat focused.
Use your imagination, don't push things too far.
And most important: Relax.

sometimes you have to "lie" to yourself, I didn't believe half the stuff I say every morning when I started saying it. When I started I was the lowest of low, I was just out of the hospital from a suicide hold, and I didn't think I was worth anything I remember thinking "I ruin everything, I am stupid and irresponisble, my family would be better off without me" I wrote it all down (it ended up being about 4 pages long) and called my doctor about it, thinking I could convince him that I was worthless, it didn't work out well.

He listened and the first thing he said was "you seem to be a good writer, I liked how you used symbolism to help me understand how you are feeling"

"I said I wasn't trying to"

"oh, then you must be a natural when it comes to writing"

it was the first compliment that I had paid attention to in like 2 years, he then told me to make a list of things that I like about myself, it was 3 items long, he then told me to write a list of things I want to be able to like about myself (that list was much longer, it's easy to find things you don't have when you are depressed)

It was that list that I started reciting. Some of them weren't true about myself at the time, but most of them are now.
yeah i understand... its like the chicken or the egg (sorta) and i'm sure it helps some people :)
i got my own coping/getting better techniques, i think, though and i'll stick to them (thanks) - am getting slowly better

but btw, your doctor sounds like one smart cookie :)


which is wonderful, but you need to make it your own, in case she doesn't get to stick around long.
its creeping into other areas of my life and giving me greater confidence there too, so i think its all good
hell, i think i'd have enough to actually ask a girl out now :p

anyways i'll stop hijacking this thread (as i so often do)

it is if you found a nice girl. perfict(or neer perfict) girls are the scaryest. try to find someone who looks good and is sweet their rather easy to talk to. oh if your going to ask them out make shur that they would be some one you can live with.
Uuh. No offense... but you seem to be missing out on a whole lot of fun! If I had only dated guys I was sure I could live with... I wouldn't have dated any of the guys I have. And that would be a shame ;)
Go out and spread the love, and have some fun, don't just sit there thinking 'naaah...not really my ...uh... type'.

yeah i understand... its like the chicken or the egg (sorta) and i'm sure it helps some people :)
i got my own coping/getting better techniques, i think, though and i'll stick to them (thanks) - am getting slowly better

but btw, your doctor sounds like one smart cookie :)
yeah, you gotta go with what works, if it isn't broke don't fix it.

but if it gets broke at some point, try this out, if nothing else you may feel silly and actually laugh (which feels pretty good after you have been depressed for a while)



its creeping into other areas of my life and giving me greater confidence there too, so i think its all good
hell, i think i'd have enough to actually ask a girl out now :p

yeah, my husband has helped me in the confidence area too, it's hard to hate yourself when someone you respect likes you:p

anyways i'll stop hijacking this thread (as i so often do)
yeah, me too. I seem to be hijacking on accident a lot more these days.

Just use great pickup lines. For example:
I find the most erotic part of a woman to be the boob.

from my disushions from sevrial girls: dont try them. most girls dont respond too well to pick up lines. instd try asking them to the movies or diner (one or the other) and if shes not up for one (allredy ate, dont like any movies out right noe ect) try the other one after that give up and try some other time (persistance is a good trate and so is knowing when to stop and that shows both;)

Don't think you can just get "tips on talking to women" and be set for life. We're people, just like you, so one set of guidelines isn't going to set you up forever. Looking at the lists people have given of stuff girls do and don't do, I could point out at least one girl(myself or my friends) who doesn't fit what was said, often more.

-snip-
Thank you for this breath of sanity. I'm always amazed at the delusions some men have about women. They are not as different from us as you think.

But there is also a responsibility that women often have failed to live up to. Too many women like a guy and "wait for something to happen", it never occurs to them to make a move themselves.

Lie. Lie about everything. You don't want to scare them.
You can't be serious.

In my case, "terrified" would be a better word. :(
Why? There are no threats in sight. Think about it!

It's hard to walk the tightrope between lying brown-nosing and chauvinistic smugness. Best not to bother.
That was 100 times worse than both combined.

I'm always myself. Myself just happens to be a coward.
Are you a coward to all people?

The correct answers are

1. Does this make my ass look big? - Damn right it does J-lo!(does'nt matter if it is or not)
2. What do you think of my mother? - That witch!
3. What movie should we go see? What ever movie I want to see.
4. What would you like to do? We are doing what I want to do honey.

Last thing you want to do is come off like a pushover.
Now we're talking!

yeah, my husband has helped me in the confidence area too, it's hard to hate yourself when someone you respect likes you:p

it is :P (though i still managed it when i hated myself dispite respecting my parents (who loved me)... though somehow thats different. but they were a bloody great rock when i needed them :))

the best part is i think (or seem to) be helping her out in this area too, so its doubly good (cos seeing her happier makes me happy :))

yeah, me too. I seem to be hijacking on accident a lot more these days.
oh i've always done it :D ;)

[/hijack]

Uuh. No offense... but you seem to be missing out on a whole lot of fun! If I had only dated guys I was sure I could live with... I wouldn't have dated any of the guys I have. And that would be a shame ;)
Go out and spread the love, and have some fun, don't just sit there thinking 'naaah...not really my ...uh... type'.

thanks fore the advice but iv alredy try talking to a girl like that (hot, sweet, kind ect) even thou she is(still) my frend I swet like a pig around her. but for the next time i ask someone(not too soon becouse im happly dating) i will try.:)

But there is also a responsibility that women often have failed to live up to. Too many women like a guy and "wait for something to happen", it never occurs to them to make a move themselves.

I know that much; my guy friends have complained about it SO much. I try to be really upfront with how I feel, especially given that "girls' feelings" tend to be up high on the 'mysterious' scale. I've never understood the mentality of "wait for the guy to make the first move," anyway. It's the 21st century, for $diety's sake. ;)

Also -- did you know girls can get stuck in "the friend zone" too, with guys? It happens.

[/random]

I know that much; my guy friends have complained about it SO much. I try to be really upfront with how I feel, especially given that "girls' feelings" tend to be up high on the 'mysterious' scale. I've never understood the mentality of "wait for the guy to make the first move," anyway. It's the 21st century, for $diety's sake. ;)

hooray! 21st century attitude rules :)

Ah. Well, I'll let you in on a secret - almost everyone has that problem. It's not AS related.
True. I know loads of people who get completely terrified when they're around a girl they like. I do too, but around guys. My advice (not that I'm much of an advice-giver, but whatever) would be to just be yourself and try to talk to her normally. Compliments are good, if you don't overdo it.

Okay, the title says it all. I need some advice. How can I do it?

You can't. No matter what you say or do they twist it and you feel like dookie. Better to just let them talk, pretend you are listening, nod, then when they're done ask them out.

He speaks truth.


On a side note, women are evil.


tell me about it, there impossible! They are too dificult to understand and i give up...:headbang:

Great attitude you guys have there. I can't imagine why you have trouble, with winning personalities like that. :rolleyes:

1. Does this make my ass look big?
2. What do you think of my mother?
3. What movie should we go see?
4. What would you like to do?

And so on. Do not, I repeat: DO NOT, answer these questions honestly.

I think I could answer all those questions honestly.

1) No. (Generally nothing makes an ass look big. Even when it is big to begin with.)

2) Something nice. (As I would say about anyone else.)

3) What would you like to see? (An honest answer since I generally don't see movies.)

4) (Depends on the situation but generally throw the question back at her.)

thanks fore the advice but iv alredy try talking to a girl like that (hot, sweet, kind ect) even thou she is(still) my frend I swet like a pig around her. but for the next time i ask someone(not too soon becouse im happly dating) i will try.:)
That's OK. Evolutionary scientists have discovered that the reason for that is that women are naturally aroused by the smell of sweat. Problem is, you've got culture working against you there. In the days of yore, the local patriarchs found that this aphrodisiac effect was so disrupting to society that they created negative cultural connotations regarding sweat, body smells and body hair.

I know that much; my guy friends have complained about it SO much. I try to be really upfront with how I feel, especially given that "girls' feelings" tend to be up high on the 'mysterious' scale. I've never understood the mentality of "wait for the guy to make the first move," anyway. It's the 21st century, for $diety's sake.

Also -- did you know girls can get stuck in "the friend zone" too, with guys? It happens.
Wow, I am almost offended. You mean to tell me that despite being a man, I do not want to have sex with all of my female friends??? ;)

Great attitude you guys have there. I can't imagine why you have trouble, with winning personalities like that. :rolleyes:
Sadly, they're plagued by demons of their own creation.

Okay, the title says it all. I need some advice. How can I do it?
Nail their feet to the floor. They listen good after that.

cliched I know, but be yourself, and try to find a common interest to converse over, be flattering, a gentleman, and, if all else fails, use chloroform....:p

Nod and smile my friend, nod and smile. Then, occasionally, throw in "yea" and "uhuh" etc. Listening leads to much greater things than talking.

you need to be a good listener and actully pay atantion to what she is saying instead of...uhhh....doing drity things in that drity little mind of yours

but i'm starting to get a real (external) sense of self worth
....
the best part is i think (or seem to) be helping her out in this area too, so its doubly good (cos seeing her happier makes me happy :))

:) You do help. Massively.

1. Does this make my ass look big?
2. What do you think of my mother?
3. What movie should we go see?
4. What would you like to do?

And so on. Do not, I repeat: DO NOT, answer these questions honestly.
Nah, I'm gonna go with the other girls who say they'd prefer the truth. In the long term, I want someone I can trust. If a guy lies and says I look absolutly fine when I don't, that just means I'm never going to be able to ever truly believe any compliment he gives me. I'd rather be able to get an honest opinion when I need it and have my confidence boosted by truly believing him when he says nice things. And if I ask what he wants to do, I'm asking because I want to know.

In reponse to the original question, there isn't one set way of making things work. The best thing would be to start chatting about the lesson, about some problem (fake or real) you're having with the computer etc. That's far more natural and less intimidating for both of you than you just asking her out, and it also means you'll get some idea of what she's actually like.

Also, don't be disheartened if she doesn't respond perfectly. She could just be shy. Of course, don't keep bugging her with random questions if she is obviously getting irritated, but don't give up straight away because she could really want to have a conversation but find it as hard as you. (Girls can find these things just as hard, trust me.)

Good luck :) Things like this can be hard at first, but they do get easier with practice and it can become far more natural.

Always remember to ask:
"Nice shoes wanna fuck?" :D

I find it helpful being a funny kinda guy. Girls will just start laughing with you at a joke at the right time and you don't have to go through the whole awkward introductions. Remember, make jokes that don't get them laughing AT you for God's sake.

Oh, and no retarded jokes please. Nothing sexual either, you don't want to go there.

Seriously. I mean, girls I don't even know suddenly know my name before we talk and I get confused when we first talk.

Well, the easiest thing to do is be as funny as hell (which I am, but never express of NS because the written word isn't as conducive to my particular style) and to not try and impress them with bullshit; it makes you sound like an idiot and/or an asshole. Don't be afraid to be yourself (unless your real self sucks or is boring/mean) and be able to take a joke (and give them back).

Avoid things like "I Fuck on the First Date"

Alright, I'm married, so I've clearly had success with at least one woman. On that basis, I'm going to declare myself qualified to provide a couple of tips.

1) All women are different. Sweeping generalisations of the "don't talk about [topic X]" kind might have some foundation in reality, but I bet you'll find at least one woman in your life that you're interested in at some point who defies most stereotypes. If you don't, you must have a very dull circle of friends

2) Talk about common points of interest. If you both like geometry, talk about geometry, if you both like France, talk in French, if you both like Jane Austen, talk about Jane Austen (1), if you both like Lenin's application of Marx's theories on dialectical materialism, talk about Lenin's application of Marx's theories of dialectical materialism (2) , if you're both expecting the Rapture tomorrow, talk about how everyone else is going to hell (3). Really, it doesn't matter what the topic is as long as it's something you're both interested in. If you don't have any shared interests, then maybe you should be dating someone else (4)

3) But never assume that just because you share one interest, you're going to share all interests. The trick is to find the balance. For example, my wife and I both love cooking, are against the war in Iraq, and have some interesting discussions on Russian Orthodox Theology - but I don't share her love of Latin dancing, and she humours my interest in Portsmouth football club.

4) This doesn't get any easier with age. It took me nearly a year to summon up the courage to tell my now-wife that I was interested in her, and I was in my mid-30s at the time. I was terrified that I'd destroyed my friendship with her when I finally did say something. Obviously I didn't. The lessons here? If you see each other at least every other week, and enjoy your time together, then A) you probably already have something to talk about and B) at the very least she enjoys your company.

1 - But remember that most men never enjoy Jane Austen as much as most women, so unless you're in that small minority, don't overdo this. It's like an interest in horoscopes - if it's too eager, it smacks of something men pretend to solely to gain the interest of their object of affection/lust

2 - In which case she's probably also shaking off the shackles of bourgeois conceptions of sexuality, and you'll get a shag tonight, you lucky dog. Unfortunately, her revolutionary zeal may lead her to shagging your friends as well - but fortunately you know that jealousy is an outdated bourgeois concept, so this shouldn't be a problem, right?

3 - You're also wrong, you poor deluded heretic.

4 - Unless, of course, this is about sex instead of love, in which case you may proceed - but only if you're damn sure that she's thinking the same way, and you're not going to hurt her in the process, you callous bastard.

Get really, really stoned. Make sure said girl is similarly wasted. The conversation should just flow naturally, about random and meaningless things.

At least, thats how it has always worked for me.

Thanks, but no thanks.

What if she doesn't speak English very well?

What if she doesn't speak English very well?
Then saying something stupid should be the least of your worries.

Then saying something stupid should be the least of your worries.

Ah.

My approaches (if you are both like this):

Sober - plenty of humour, bit of intelligent conversation (mostly if she initiates), generally light-hearted. Possibly some subtle piss-takes of her, but accept any flaws she finds in you (unless they are horribly wrong). And, with some more girly-girls, zero toilet/sex humour. Really. Conversation Killer, or at best she gets a set view of you.

Drunk - plenty of humour, drunken intelligent conversation (you know the type), still light hearted. Take the piss some, but never too much (and NEVER call her any of the taboo words - fat, ugly, boring, etc.)Possibly some toilet humour, but only smatterings and at low concentration.

Stoned/tripping/pilled up/whatever - Anything.

Of course, this generally applies to my male friends too, although with alot more banter at each others' expense.

I think she speaks at least rudimentary English, but if she doesn't...anybody here speak Vietnamese?

Get really good at drawing. They like anime. I can't draw anime. Therefore, I draw sheep. "Psychotic Machine Gunner Sheep" "McDonald's Fry Cook Sheep" "Girly Sheep" etc. They love it. Start drawing sheep or anime. Then they'll want to talk to you.

Okay, the title says it all. I need some advice. How can I do it?
Sigh. I wonder sometimes why I keep trying to help with this sort of thing. Perhaps it's the fact that I had so many similar problems when I was young. ( shrug )

What makes people interested ( including women! )? When you ask them about themselves. When you talk about something in which they have an interest. And most particularly, when the person talking to them is interesting in him or herself. Wanna be a hit with the ladies? Make yourself into the best YOU you can be! Duh!

from my experience, girls really like :sniper: snipers. they find them fascinating. believe me. i know.

Sigh. I wonder sometimes why I keep trying to help with this sort of thing. Perhaps it's the fact that I had so many similar problems when I was young. ( shrug )

What makes people interested ( including women! )? When you ask them about themselves. When you talk about something in which they have an interest. And most particularly, when the person talking to them is interesting in him or herself. Wanna be a hit with the ladies? Make yourself into the best YOU you can be! Duh!

Do you speak Vietnamese? If I'm not mistaken, you're a Vietnam vet.

Do you speak Vietnamese? If I'm not mistaken, you're a Vietnam vet.

I'm no expert on women, but I think its safe to say that if you don't speak the same language, it will be much harder to ask her out. Also, learning her language just so you can speak to her might cause that "stalker" problem you mentioned earlier.

WTF? Did my post count just say "n/a"?

I'm no expert on women, but I think its safe to say that if you don't speak the same language, it will be much harder to ask her out. Also, learning her language just so you can speak to her might cause that "stalker" problem you mentioned earlier.

I'm pretty sure she speaks at least rudimentary English.

WTF? Did my post count just say "n/a"?
Yes, it appears to only be happening to the criminally insane (such as yourself and Fiddlebottoms). I, of course, am only crackpot insane, hence my postcount remains.

QED.

DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME????? I SAID THAT GIRLS. LIKE. SNIPERS!!!!!:sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :fluffle:

DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME????? I SAID THAT GIRLS. LIKE. SNIPERS!!!!!:sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :fluffle:
You don't know many girls, do you?

Grab one and say "MINE"


Be like the cavemen do.

I used to be debilitatingly nervous when it comes to talking to girls, too. Surprisingly enough, I started to get over my fears once I started getting in better physical shape. It really wasn't that difficult to get in shape, either; I just started trying to take a short walk most days of the week. Anyway, I'm not sure if you're even in a position to get in better shape, or if you're fit already, but it might be something worth trying.

Here are some of the things I found helped. Look at their eyes, even when they make contact with yours. and talk natural, be yourself. smile a lot. Tell them about how great their smile is. one awesome thing to start as a conversation is eye color, it makes it so they will look you in the eyes. and you can look into theirs and complement them. then you can compliment their smile when they smile.

oh but the best thing to do, is treat them overly kindly, with the upmost respect. as chaucer had the lady of Baath say, ... let the wemen have controll... ... ... now, not too much, cuz they don't like having all the controll. just don't put down their ideas. and go with them. but come up with ideas and conversations yourself too.

Thanks, guys.

But, back to the question...anybody here speak Vietnamese?

ok since none of you know a thing about girls:

girls dont like snipers:sniper:
girls dont like guns at all:mp5: (unless ur into hunting, some of them are ok with that.mabe paintball too):gundge:(military is good too)
asian girls dont always like anime
girls dont like people who think they are hardcore:headbang:
girls HATE guys who cry

the end

Drink Lots Of Beer.

Drink Lots Of Beer.

I don't drink. Even if I did like alcohol, I'm not 21 yet, only 20.

No, if you answer these questions honestly, and it becomes a problem, you need to find another woman.

There are nice women out there who appreciate an honest answer.
You're single, and have been for awhile, right?

Underage Drinking. If you do not do it, you will be shunned.

And dude, is your only problem that she doesn't speak English too well? Offer to teach her...

Underage Drinking. If you do not do it, you will be shunned.

And dude, is your only problem that she doesn't speak English too well? Offer to teach her...

Now there's an idea. :D

Thanks, guys.

But, back to the question...anybody here speak Vietnamese?
My friend does. We make fun of him by doing immitations of it.

Whats with all the n00bs in this thread? Could they be the 12 Puppets of the Apocalypse?

I don't drink. Even if I did like alcohol, I'm not 21 yet, only 20.
This simple fact makes me more glad than any other that I don't live in the US.

This simple fact makes me more glad than any other that I don't live in the US.
I'm glad I live in a country that doesn't enforce silly laws like underage drinking and illegal drug posession.

Whats with all the n00bs in this thread? Could they be the 12 Puppets of the Apocalypse?

Hey, some people have had their post counts mysteriously replaced with "N/A"...perhaps this is another sign. Maybe Jolt will collapse, scattering Nationstates to the winds...:eek:

This simple fact makes me more glad than any other that I don't live in the US.
Like it made a difference. I bet you were drinking long before you turned 18, you dirty alcoholic NIer you! And don't try to lie, my flatmate is from Belfast and he says that drinking like a fish at 15 is part of the Irish Heritage; a Heritage one must partake in if one is situated in NI at the time or not!

Hey, some people have had their post counts mysteriously replaced with "N/A"...perhaps this is another sign. Maybe Jolt will collapse, scattering Nationstates to the winds...:eek:
We will need someone with Apache and can code a forum to this quality. Oh and a shrubary

DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME????? I SAID THAT GIRLS. LIKE. SNIPERS!!!!!:sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :fluffle:
didn't you hear me? Girls dont' like those damned smilies. Also They don't seem to like n00bs.......

I honestly couldn't say as I'm not great at talking to most people (unless I want to). See, I'm kind of a bully... My lack of relationships really has nothing to do with my looks as plenty of women have liked me until they've seen me bite someone's head off.... I'm also good at chopping down self esteems.... Dirty job, yes, but someone has to do it...:sniper:

But, back to the question...anybody here speak Vietnamese?
So it's some Vietnamese chick, eh? I must say, the Vietnamese chicks at my school are quite cute :D

Like it made a difference. I bet you were drinking long before you turned 18, you dirty alcoholic NIer you! And don't try to lie, my flatmate is from Belfast and he says that drinking like a fish at 15 is part of the Irish Heritage; a Heritage one must partake in if one is situated in NI at the time or not!

Yes, you're absolutely right. :D

But at least with a drinking age of 18 you don't have to keep getting somebody to go in to the off licence for you because your ID is too shit;)

We will need someone with Apache and can code a forum to this quality. Oh and a shrubary

Postapocalyptic survival is going to be tough...

I honestly couldn't say as I'm not great at talking to most people (unless I want to). See, I'm kind of a bully... My lack of relationships really has nothing to do with my looks as plenty of women have liked me until they've seen me bite someone's head off.... I'm also good at chopping down self esteems.... Dirty job, yes, but someone has to do it...:sniper:

You and me both baby.

Postapocalyptic survival is going to be tough...
I have already TG'd all the posters, that I think should survive, with a survival guide.

I honestly couldn't say as I'm not great at talking to most people (unless I want to). See, I'm kind of a bully... My lack of relationships really has nothing to do with my looks as plenty of women have liked me until they've seen me bite someone's head off.... I'm also good at chopping down self esteems.... Dirty job, yes, but someone has to do it...:sniper:
At my school bullying has replaced hello and goodbye....and regular conversation.

Guys, don't hijack the thread, please.

Guys, don't hijack the thread, please.
Ok. For now. I know someone who can speak Veitnamese. Why do you ask?

Ok. For now. I know someone who can speak Veitnamese. Why do you ask?

Because the girl in question is Vietnamese.

just be a man godammit

Just take it out and say "Ever seen on of these- OUTSIDE a circus tent?"

Works like a charm.

What is 'it'? Is it something that young children laugh at?

dude, how old are you?

Speaking as a girl, I hope I can. First of all, get to know her. Don't ask her out right off the bat, it's kinda scary. Chat with her about your computer class or whatever, keep it light and funny. Ask her questions about herself to figure out what she's into. I talk to guys about music all the time, it's a neutral topic that most people have some kind of opinion on. The internet works wonders for relationships (of any kind). You can IM her and have full conversations, without the anxiety of thinking things up on the spot like there would be in person. Never ever lie to win her favor, even about little things. If she tells you her favorite band and you've never heard of it, don't pretend it's your favorite too. I know a guy that had never heard of a band I was really into, and he was honest about it. He asked me to burn him a copy (offered to give me a blank cd), but instead I brought my discman into school so we could listen to it together. See where I'm going with this? Try to make as many connections with her as you can, inside jokes, favorite bands/movies/tv shows, whatever. Just don't push them too hard, that just seems desperate. If they're real, she'll aknowledge them too.

Also, I don't know how fast you expect to learn Vietnamese, especially over the internet. I would suggest maybe asking her (when it's appropriate, use judgement) how to say certain things in Vietnamese. She'll probably be happy that you're interested in her culture. And if she doesn't know an English word, you can trade. Good luck, there's a lot of good advice on this thread.

Okay, the title says it all. I need some advice. How can I do it?


Well I find it alot easier if the girl likes to talke alot. Then you can just sit there and let her talk most of the time and she won't even notice your barely talking cause she's always talking :D (Just her personality). Makes it much easier cause all you have to do is nod or make short comments on things. Quite simple. Just don't get them going on some horrible topic like different make-up brands or stuff. And at all times try to avoid the topic of women's undergarments...... :(

I don't drink.Are you willing to learn?

On a side note, women are evil.

We are NOT evil!

*sends the eyball ray of massive hemorroidal death*

Open mouth.
Speak.
Don't forget to breathe.
If standing, don't lock knees for extended periods.

Open mouth.
Speak.
Don't forget to breathe.
If standing, don't lock knees for extended periods.
best advice yet. ;)

First of all, get to know her. Don't ask her out right off the bat, it's kinda scary.
this i thoroughly agree with. i mean if i was a girl i'd find it a little creepy for a guy to come up and ask me out without knowing anything about me and basing the attraction solely on physical appearance. i suppose it could be flattering, but still creepy.

its one of the reasons i don't "get" clubs and the like, or more specifically meeting people (or picking them up) there. i mean with the music so loud and everyone pissed as newts, all you've got to go on is physical attraction. so the only reason a guy goes up to a girl in one of these sorts of clubs is cos he's horny and said girl makes him hornier, and he wants to get laid. he knows nothing about her and probably doesn't want to either. now that's fine for a one night stand (or whatever you want to call it) but i guess thats not me (and i'd intrinsically find it, again, creepy if i were the girl)
hence why guys dance at clubs: they want to get laid. girls dance for fun, (most) guys dance for sex. another reason why i hate dancing woot!

[/rant]

dude, how old are you?

20.

this i thoroughly agree with. i mean if i was a girl i'd find it a little creepy for a guy to come up and ask me out without knowing anything about me and basing the attraction solely on physical appearance. i suppose it could be flattering, but still creepy.

its one of the reasons i don't "get" clubs and the like, or more specifically meeting people (or picking them up) there. i mean with the music so loud and everyone pissed as newts, all you've got to go on is physical attraction. so the only reason a guy goes up to a girl in one of these sorts of clubs is cos he's horny and said girl makes him hornier, and he wants to get laid. he knows nothing about her and probably doesn't want to either. now that's fine for a one night stand (or whatever you want to call it) but i guess thats not me (and i'd intrinsically find it, again, creepy if i were the girl)
hence why guys dance at clubs: they want to get laid. girls dance for fun, (most) guys dance for sex. another reason why i hate dancing woot!

[/rant]


Most girls know that guys want to get laid, even if the guy is going to the store for a pack of smokes.

A fair number of girls are horny and want to get laid as well. Not that every girl is going to lay down and spread her legs, but girls know why the guys come to the club, ok?

this i thoroughly agree with. i mean if i was a girl i'd find it a little creepy for a guy to come up and ask me out without knowing anything about me and basing the attraction solely on physical appearance. i suppose it could be flattering, but still creepy.

its one of the reasons i don't "get" clubs and the like, or more specifically meeting people (or picking them up) there. i mean with the music so loud and everyone pissed as newts, all you've got to go on is physical attraction. so the only reason a guy goes up to a girl in one of these sorts of clubs is cos he's horny and said girl makes him hornier, and he wants to get laid. he knows nothing about her and probably doesn't want to either. now that's fine for a one night stand (or whatever you want to call it) but i guess thats not me (and i'd intrinsically find it, again, creepy if i were the girl)
hence why guys dance at clubs: they want to get laid. girls dance for fun, (most) guys dance for sex. another reason why i hate dancing woot!

[/rant]


You could just be one of those whack jobs who hooks up in the 'pit...

Do you speak Vietnamese? If I'm not mistaken, you're a Vietnam vet.
Yes, I'm a Vietnam veteran. I no longer speak much Vietnamese, although I use to have a pretty good working knowledge of it ... no practice for many years. :(

Why?

Yes, I'm a Vietnam veteran. I no longer speak much Vietnamese, although I use to have a pretty good working knowledge of it ... no practice for many years. :(

Why?

First of all, I'd like to thank you for your service to our country. All our veterans deserve our utmost respect, admiration, and support. May God bless you, soldier.

Second of all, the girl in question is Vietnamese (I stole a glance at her computer screen and saw her name).

We are NOT evil!

*sends the eyball ray of massive hemorroidal death*
SOME of you are, but that's another story. :D

First of all, I'd like to thank you for your service to our country. All our veterans deserve our utmost respect, admiration, and support. May God bless you, soldier.

Second of all, the girl in question is Vietnamese (I stole a glance at her computer screen and saw her name).
You might tell her that she's very lovely. ( Phonetically ) Em dep wah. :D

Since Vietnamese is an intonational language, the last word should be emphasized with a slight rise in intonation: em diep WAH! :D

You might tell her that she's very lovely. ( Phonetically ) Em dep wah. :D

Ah, thanks. :D

Most girls know that guys want to get laid, even if the guy is going to the store for a pack of smokes.

A fair number of girls are horny and want to get laid as well. Not that every girl is going to lay down and spread her legs, but girls know why the guys come to the club, ok?
yes thats fair enough. i'm just saying i, personally, would find it kinda weird and unnerving, knowing that (if i were a girl)

You might tell her that she's very lovely. ( Phonetically ) Em dep wah. :D


Did that fall under 'useful phrases' when you were in 'nam?

Ah, thanks. :D
I added a note about intonation. You might want to read it. :)

Did that fall under 'useful phrases' when you were in 'nam?
No comment. :p

I added a note about intonation. You might want to read it. :)

Thanks, Forrest. :)

Thanks, Forrest. :)
You're welcome. I wish I could be of more help to you, but it's difficult at best to do behavior modelling long distance. ;)

Well, speak o' the devil! She's sitting next to me right this moment. What should I say?

Well, speak o' the devil! She's sitting next to me right this moment. What should I say?
Hello! I'm glad to see you!

Hello! I'm glad to see you!

Lol, I see her like everyday. Wouldn't that sound a little strange? :confused:

Lol, I see her like everyday. Wouldn't that sound a little strange? :confused:

No not at all....It shows her how much you care for her. Just the simple fact that you are glad to see them makes them happy.....

No not at all....It shows her how much you care for her. Just the simple fact that you are glad to see them makes them happy.....

Well, okay...

Lol, I see her like everyday. Wouldn't that sound a little strange? :confused:
Nope.

Nope.

Well, here goes...

Well, I did it.

It was much easier than I thought it'd be. :eek:

Well, I did it.

It was much easier than I thought it'd be. :eek:
Yes. Be light hearted, and act normally.

She's just a human being.

Yes. Be light hearted, and act normally.

She's just a human being.

Lol, this is one of those things that looks hard, but once you do it, you look back and say, "Why was I such a wuss?" Lol

Lol, this is one of those things that looks hard, but once you do it, you look back and say, "Why was I such a wuss?" Lol

A friendly greeting when you see her, and perhaps some friendly small talk, will help you on your way.

Be sure to introduce yourself at some point if she doesn't already know your name.

A friendly greeting when you see her, and perhaps some friendly small talk, will help you on your way.

Be sure to introduce yourself at some point if she doesn't already know your name.

I did all that already. Talking to her now. :)

Cool!

Thanks, everyone. If only you all were here, I'd take you all out for beer, or something. :)

Yay! Well done for working the courage up :)

Yay! Well done for working the courage up :)

Thanks! :D

Well, I did it.

It was much easier than I thought it'd be. :eek:
see? I told you, that you would be okay, you sound like you are doing great, just remember next time you want to meet someone "I did it before, I lived through it, I can do it again":D


I am sooo happy for you:D

see? I told you, that you would be okay, you sound like you are doing great, just remember next time you want to meet someone "I did it before, I lived through it, I can do it again":D


I am sooo happy for you:D

I owe you a beer. Or, something.

I owe you a beer. Or, something.
I don't drink, but maybe next time someone insults my intelligence on here, you can say "hey, she's not dumb, crazy maybe, but certainly not dumb"

that would be great;)

I don't drink, but maybe next time someone insults my intelligence on here, you can say "hey, she's not dumb, crazy maybe, but certainly not dumb"

that would be great;)

Sure, anything. Glad to help. :)

This simple fact makes me more glad than any other that I don't live in the US.
Hear hear you could have been legally pissed for 2 years in the uk!

Another victory for NS General. Good job guys and girls.

I love a happy ending :)

Another victory for NS General. Good job guys and girls.
Yay! I didn't actually contribute or anything, but I love it when things end happily. All's well that ends well. *sings 'Love is in the air...' until the men in white coats drag her away*

Well done… but give it a while, you'll be straining to get rid of her.

:cool: Just being the voice of cynicism here.

I don't drink. Even if I did like alcohol, I'm not 21 yet, only 20.
All these people saying "yeah get drunk/stoned/trip/whatever" are fools. If you need drugs just to talk to women then there is a problem. As a great man once said, "there's the easy way to do things; then there's the right way".

now that's fine for a one night stand (or whatever you want to call it) but i guess thats not me (and i'd intrinsically find it, again, creepy if i were the girl)
hence why guys dance at clubs: they want to get laid. girls dance for fun, (most) guys dance for sex. another reason why i hate dancing woot!

What makes you think that girls don't dance to get laid?

Um, why does everyone's online/offline thing have a red *!* sign next to it?

THE END IF NIGHT!

I mean, "is nigh".

Um, why does everyone's online/offline thing have a red *!* sign next to it?

THE END IF NIGHT!

I mean, "is nigh".
It's a way of complaining about posts. You click on it and it sends a message to the mods. The NS mods prefer for you to post in Moderation though.

It's a way of complaining about posts. You click on it and it sends a message to the mods. The NS mods prefer for you to post in Moderation though. :( I'm such a naïve fool…:(

Anyway, subject in hand. Talking to girls is fine if you look on them as people. If you want to go out with them though, that's a whole different story. I decided not to ask someone out, and it's a lot easier around them, though.

No, if you answer these questions honestly, and it becomes a problem, you need to find another woman.

There are nice women out there who appreciate an honest answer.


Not in my experience.

What makes you think that girls don't dance to get laid?
i read it in a book somewhere ;)

(standard answer cos i don't really care that much lol)

Now that this thread has concluded successfully, I will hijack it in order to plumb the depths of the wisdom it obviously contains. I seem to have no problem speaking to girls (after all, they are human beings much like ourselves), & I make friends with girls in much the same way that dandelions grow here in Saskatchewan--rapidly, easily, & in spite of everyone's best attempts to prevent them from doing so. My problem is a little speech that invariably begins, "You're a nice guy, but . . ."

I search for the wisdom that will give me the power to defeat my nemesis. At least once.

Dont talk to girls, trust me. The feds will be on your ass in such a hurry...

Crap, I got to go.

Well I assume you will want to make girls like you?

Here's how the conversation should be going:
You:Hi
She:Hi
Y: So how many times did you get arrested?
S: Excuse me?
Y: (ignoring her)As for me, I lost count
S: ...
Y: ..Probably because I was so wasted most of the time. Want some advice?
S: uhh
Y: Never carry a weapon when you plan on getting wasted, it look bad when they bust you.
S: What the?
Y: Oh yeah, and make sure the car you steal does not contain a body.
S: A body?
Y: So do you wanna go out sometime?

After this, nothing you tell about yourself will repulse her.


Seriously though, I understand you, I just got asked in by a girl who said no-one was home, when I got there we went to her room where she showed me her bunny ears and tail and lay on her bed.
And when I kissed her she said I shouldn't have and that I should go.

Any thoughts on that?

Seriously though, I understand you, I just got asked in by a girl who said no-one was home, when I got there we went to her room where she showed me her bunny ears and tail and lay on her bed.
And when I kissed her she said I shouldn't have and that I should go.

Any thoughts on that?
OBVIOU--ahem(damn caps lock)--Obviously unstable. Are you sure you'd wanna deal with that anyways? I mean, some people are just wacked.

Not in my experience.

Women appreciate an honest answer as much as any man. If they don't, then they have some issues that aren't your problem.

Trust me, you're going to be happier with a woman who likes honesty.