NationStates Jolt Archive

ok. so, almost 2 weeks ago, a boy that i kinda like asked me out in the form of a note. i was instantly angered because it brought back old memories. every other time that ive been asked out via note, they never actually wanted to go out with me...instead, they laughed at me, as did their friends. so i decided not to answer him because i didnt want to be hurt again. i told myself that if he really did want to go out with me, then he would talk to me in person, or even just on the phone. he didn't. :( now i dont know what to do. i really like him a lot but im afraid he doesnt like me at all anymore. wat should i do now?

~confused and lonely me~

All you lot do is giggle, fail to spell properly and never actually make any decent music or come up with deep ideas on philosophy.

Anyway, he's probably too shy. Don't assume that he doesn't want to ask you out. He's probably extremely nervous. He might think that your silence is rejection, just like you did with him.

ok. so, almost 2 weeks ago, a boy that i kinda like asked me out in the form of a note. i was instantly angered because it brought back old memories. every other time that ive been asked out via note, they never actually wanted to go out with me...instead, they laughed at me, as did their friends. so i decided not to answer him because i didnt want to be hurt again. i told myself that if he really did want to go out with me, then he would talk to me in person, or even just on the phone. he didn't. :( now i dont know what to do. i really like him a lot but im afraid he doesnt like me at all anymore. wat should i do now?

~confused and lonely me~

I must warn you that middle school relationships don't mean anything.

I suppose you could go lesbian.

I suppose you could go lesbian.

Or he/she could be already Gay.

touche

I suppose you could go lesbian.


Just be sure to videotape it for my scientific study.

Go write about it in your blog with all your other whinings about your life, not in this forum.

I must warn you that middle school relationships don't mean anything. Yes they do. You can temporarily host on people's trust, using and abusing them under the pretext of love, then moving on like a bloated leech, knowing all the while that it would come to nothing and that the joke's on them.

Send a note back, telling him that if he REALLY wants to go out, he should tell you in person.

no?

ok. so, almost 2 weeks ago, a boy that i kinda like asked me out in the form of a note. i was instantly angered because it brought back old memories. every other time that ive been asked out via note, they never actually wanted to go out with me...instead, they laughed at me, as did their friends. so i decided not to answer him because i didnt want to be hurt again. i told myself that if he really did want to go out with me, then he would talk to me in person, or even just on the phone. he didn't. :( now i dont know what to do. i really like him a lot but im afraid he doesnt like me at all anymore. wat should i do now?

~confused and lonely me~

He may have asked you out in a note becuase he was too nervous to ask you out in person. I did it myself when I was younger. Rejection is a little easier to take if its not face to face.

I'm scared to death when I ask a girl out on a date for the first time, and I'm a combat vet.

If you where mad when you told him that he should talk to you in person, you might have scared him into thinking that he has no chance now. If you think that he really did want to ask you out, give it a few days and then call him and ask him in private if he was serious. That way you'll know for sure.

Send a note back, telling him that if he REALLY wants to go out, he should tell you in person.

no?
Beat me to it!

If you're going to be this paranoid about every single male in your world, then you're going to have to forgo relationships.

Dealing with and preparing for pain is something you just have to do if you want to be a social being.

So maybe he's stringing you on. Big deal. Shit happens, as they say. Take it in your stride, I reckon. But you're either going to have to face up to it sooner or later or run for the rest of your life. Your call.

If you want to know what's going on with him, ask him. If you want him to know how you feel, tell him. You have a phone, too.

Crossroads. Will you shell yourself up to protect yourself from being hurt only to be tortured by the notion that there is love out there that you're missing because you don't want to risk it or be hurt in fleeting moments in order to find the one guy who isn't kidding.

Yes they do. You can temporarily host on people's trust, using and abusing them under the pretext of love, then moving on like a bloated leech, knowing all the while that it would come to nothing and that the joke's on them.

Well... They shouldn't. I've learned long ago to not trust anyone. They'll only betray you later. If you expect such things, you won't be hurt by them so much.

Go write about it in your blog with all your other whinings about your life, not in this forum.
Or at the very least, if we're going to act like relationship therapists, we should be getting paid as such.

Do you have any cute girlfriends with whom you could confide in, in some sort of group sleepover?

Well... They shouldn't. I've learned long ago to not trust anyone. They'll only betray you later. If you expect such things, you won't be hurt by them so much.

Oh please. If you go through life with an attitude like that, you're going to spend half your life not trusting someone who might actually care about you.

Just speaking from experience. You'll kick yourself later.

Just be sure to videotape it for my scientific study.
Sounds like a schoolkid. Your scientific study could lead to a long term lease on a prison cell.

Oh please. If you go through life with an attitude like that, you're going to spend half your life not trusting someone who might actually care about you.

Just speaking from experience. You'll kick yourself later.
And I can almost guarantee it's bad for your health to have such an attitude.

Don't go looking for love. If you are searching for it, you probably won't find it. You can have realtionships, but when you are ready, love will find you. When it does, you will be able to tell the difference.

If you're going to be this paranoid about every single male in your world, then you're going to have to forgo relationships.

Dealing with and preparing for pain is something you just have to do if you want to be a social being.

So maybe he's stringing you on. Big deal. Shit happens, as they say. Take it in your stride, I reckon. But you're either going to have to face up to it sooner or later or run for the rest of your life. Your call.
And remember, it says more about the cats that would f'with you than it does about you. How's that for useless parental style advice?

I wouldn't mind going out with you, but psssh, like that would ever happen.

omg! so i wuz like talking 2 justin and he wuz like "omg taht guy iz lke so lame" and then i wuz like "i want 2 go out wit u 2morrow!" ten i sed other dum thingz like and spelled everything rong just cuz im like so lame!

Just don't post stuff like that on this forum. WE DON'T CARE!

Ok, now tell me something, she asked for advice, and why do you need to get all crapy abouth it? If you cant aswer he question, then don't post at all... :mad:
I belive most will agree with me on that ...

And you know, nobody has perfect spell perfecly, not all of us live in an English speaking country...

All you lot do is giggle, fail to spell properly and never actually make any decent music or come up with deep ideas on philosophy.


Tell that to Kristeva, Warnock and the beaver.

It's like dangling a hunk of meat in front of a bunch of hungry wolves.

Borrow your dad's shotgun and clean house tommorow.

Dusting is always more entertaining when using prodigious amounts of fire power! And you'd manage something productive and keep your mind off of other things.

Wait, what'd you think I was talking about?

And I can almost guarantee it's bad for your health to have such an attitude.

You sure? I've never been depressed, and I never care when someone does anything incredibly cruel to me... If I was like certain other people, I'd have killed myself by now.

Maybe it's just my luck in friends... They almost seem to enjoy backstabbing me, so I've gotten used to it. I'll probably revise my outlook on life later.

Ok, now tell me something, she asked for advice, and why do you need to get all crapy abouth it? If you cant aswer he question, then don't post at all... :mad:
I belive most will agree with me on that ...

And you know, nobody has perfect spell perfecly, not all of us live in an English speaking country...
Yes, but the style in which she (?) wrote the post is the style of someone from an english speaking country who has poor grammar regardless. There's nothing wrong with poor grammar/spelling if you come from other than an english-speaking country, of course.

Send a note back, telling him that if he REALLY wants to go out, he should tell you in person.

no?

Nooo... I asked this girl out on MSN because I was too nervous to do so in real life... I went up to her the next day and totally fucked everything up.

You sure? I've never been depressed, and I never care when someone does anything incredibly cruel to me... If I was like certain other people, I'd have killed myself by now.

Maybe it's just my luck in friends... They almost seem to enjoy backstabbing me, so I've gotten used to it. I'll probably revise my outlook on life later.
Well, then you need new friends. And, by the way, a few good friends is much better than many semi-friends.

Nooo... I asked this girl out on MSN because I was too nervous to do so in real life... I went up to her the next day and totally fucked everything up.

Nice.

Wow people are insensitive. Thats the "real world" for you. No one really cares about your problems unless they rank on thier scale of importance. Judging by your issue you seem to be in middle school and as I recall this was a serious issue. So my advice to you is if you feel that this is a risk worth taking then respond if it back fires slap him. Dont worry about it, trust me you have a lot more boy troubles ahead. In a couple of years you will only wish that male/ female relationships were this simple. Trust me.

I would just ask him in person. Be prepared to accept that he was just joking. It sucks, I know, but you'll be better for it. When I was in the eighth grade a girl broke up with me through her friend whom I barely knew. I thought it was the end of the world. Life went on, she's married now, and I'm engaged. Don't get too worked up over this guy. [/talk like my dad]

Eh.. the OP hasn't replied by page 3.. stick a fork in this thread, says me.

Maybe they havnt said anything coz all of the people being nasty scared her?
Being a teenage boy i say, if he asked you out in a note he is probably nervous, your best bet is to ask him in person if he was being serious and if he was be nice about it, dont yell at him for asking in a note, just tell him that you would be willing to go out with him but only if he asks you in person

Eh.. the OP hasn't replied by page 3.. stick a fork in this thread, says me.
http://www.naturegrid.org.uk/infant/science/photos/inanim/fork.jpg[

ok...people seem to think that im in middle school. im actually a junior in high school. just thought i might clear that up for u. im also attempting to prepare myself for after high school relationships now by getting into a serious relationship in high school. who knows...maybe it will help me in the long run. just thought i would say something. and now i leave for food and friends. (mostly food...). much love from...

~me~

Looking for love is like looking for velociraptors. Not only is it incredibly rare (some may argue dead), but when you actually find it it will use its powerful third claw to slit open your abdomen and feast on your warm entrails.

;)

http://www.naturegrid.org.uk/infant/science/photos/inanim/fork.jpg[

I have those exact forks in my kitchen, honest to Christ.. they're terrible.. the little metal bit at the top gets all loose and wobbly in like a week. :(

Maybe they havnt said anything coz all of the people being nasty scared her?
Being a teenage boy i say, if he asked you out in a note he is probably nervous...

Really? I'd write back, Nice Joke. No, really, what do you want?

ok...people seem to think that im in middle school. im actually a junior in high school. just thought i might clear that up for u.


There's a difference? There wasn't one in my day... I was a 7th-grade Middle School student, while a friend of mine in another town was a 7th-grade Jr. High student.. hm.

Nooo... I asked this girl out on MSN because I was too nervous to do so in real life... I went up to her the next day and totally fucked everything up.

Sounds like all of my teenage years...

I recall asking a girl if she wanted to go to a place for coffee after school...she looked at me and said, "Are you serious?"...

After that I didn't ask a girl out for 2 years. That didn't go so well either...

With the exclusion of few, girls are unapprochable, heartless and incredibly uncaring about the feelings of a male. That only changes slightly when you become an adult.

Maybe you shouldn't go out with this guy. He'll carry on...

ok. so, almost 2 weeks ago, a boy that i kinda like asked me out in the form of a note. i was instantly angered because it brought back old memories. every other time that ive been asked out via note, they never actually wanted to go out with me...instead, they laughed at me, as did their friends. so i decided not to answer him because i didnt want to be hurt again. i told myself that if he really did want to go out with me, then he would talk to me in person, or even just on the phone. he didn't. :( now i dont know what to do. i really like him a lot but im afraid he doesnt like me at all anymore. wat should i do now?

~confused and lonely me~
Don't let others discourage you. If you really like that guy, go talk to him. I know it sounds like a big thing to do, but remember, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. That goes especially for kurze Leute ;)
Take a heart and ask him if he still wants to do something when there's a chance and you can talk to him kind of alone. Why not go to the Christmas market and have some almonds or cotton candy? If nothing else, you've given yourself a nice treat!

Yes they do. You can temporarily host on people's trust, using and abusing them under the pretext of love, then moving on like a bloated leech, knowing all the while that it would come to nothing and that the joke's on them.

I disagree...really...if you are putting that much emphasis on a relationship in middle school you are seriously screwed for the rest of your life. You should barely care about other people until you are like 16. Until then, you can't even drive in most places anyway so who gives a crap as to "dating"? You can't go anywhere unless your parents drive. How meaningless...

Now Lisk is difference because he is trying to avoid any relationships beyond those that are plutonic (sp?) until he dies at this point in time. The hurt is in his words.

I disagree...really...if you are putting that much emphasis on a relationship in middle school you are seriously screwed for the rest of your life. You should barely care about other people until you are like 16. Until then, you can't even drive in most places anyway so who gives a crap as to "dating"? You can't go anywhere unless your parents drive. How meaningless...

Now Lisk is difference because he is trying to avoid any relationships beyond those that are plutonic (sp?) until he dies at this point in time. The hurt is in his words.

Agreed, Middle school relationships are usually very immature and should not be taken at a serious level.

That goes especially for kurze Leute ;)

Uhhh.... I looked up 'kurze Leute' in google german-english translator and I got 'short people'. Is this what it means, or is it just a freak coincidence, and it's actually in some other language?

ok. so, almost 2 weeks ago, a boy that i kinda like asked me out in the form of a note. i was instantly angered because it brought back old memories. every other time that ive been asked out via note, they never actually wanted to go out with me...instead, they laughed at me, as did their friends. so i decided not to answer him because i didnt want to be hurt again. i told myself that if he really did want to go out with me, then he would talk to me in person, or even just on the phone. he didn't. :( now i dont know what to do. i really like him a lot but im afraid he doesnt like me at all anymore. wat should i do now?

~confused and lonely me~
do nothing. If a guy really likes you he will ask you out for real, and not in a note like a coward.

Being lonely is something for old people, not high school kids, if you are lonely go make more friends. Hanging your hapiness on whether or not you have a guy is a bad idea at any point in life, doing it in high school is setting you up for years of bad relationships and unhappiness.

Uhhh.... I looked up 'kurze Leute' in google german-english translator and I got 'short people'. Is this what it means, or is it just a freak coincidence, and it's actually in some other language?

Yeah, babbelfish got it right.

There's a difference? There wasn't one in my day... I was a 7th-grade Middle School student, while a friend of mine in another town was a 7th-grade Jr. High student.. hm.
She said she was a junior in high school (ie, the eleventh grade), not that she was in junior high school.

Uhhh.... I looked up 'kurze Leute' in google german-english translator and I got 'short people'. Is this what it means, or is it just a freak coincidence, and it's actually in some other language?

Kurze Leute is the name of the person that started this thread.And yes it means short people in German.Ask her about it.


Oh and as for advice.Set fire to the note,and the boy who sent it,after removing and putting his testicles in your pocket(for preservation in fermaldehyde later).Nobody will ever dare send you a note asking to go out with you.

Olara']She said she was a junior in high school (ie, the eleventh grade), not that she was in junior high school.

Must be that leaky gas line.. I woulda bet my best goat she said "Junior high..." Hmph.. disregard that bit then..

Kurze Leute is the name of the person that started this thread.
Yeah, I know that. Geez, I'm not THAT out of it.

ok..so people still seem to think im in middle school. when i said i was a junior in high school i meant that im 16 years old and am in the 11th grade. also, to answer your question Allthenamesarereserved (sp), kurze leute is in fact german for short people. i chose this name because i am in fact 5 foot tall. and besides..short people are cool. much love from...

~me~

ok..so people still seem to think im in middle school. when i said i was a junior in high school i meant that im 16 years old and am in the 11th grade. also, to answer your question Allthenamesarereserved (sp), kurze leute is in fact german for short people. i chose this name because i am in fact 5 foot tall. and besides..short people are cool. much love from...

~me~
Good lord, I have a foot and 3 inches on you, and I'm only 17. I've never met someone that short. :eek:

ok..so people still seem to think im in middle school. when i said i was a junior in high school i meant that im 16 years old and am in the 11th grade. also, to answer your question Allthenamesarereserved (sp), kurze leute is in fact german for short people. i chose this name because i am in fact 5 foot tall. and besides..short people are cool. much love from...

~me~
about being short, don't worry about it, I am 5ft 3in and full grown, it's cool to be short, nobody ever asks you to do stuff (like hang Christmas lights, or clean off the top of the fridge)

about they guy....why do you care if some idiot guy likes you or not? What you should be worried about is whether you like yourself or not. I guarantee, you start taking care of yourself, making yourself happy, making yourself into the person you want to be, and guys will line up to hang out with you. (and not the "note-writers" either, I am talking the good guys, the awesome to be around funny, smart, great to hang out with guys)

Confident guys don't want a girl who is whiney and worries about what other poeple think, they are too easy to upset. Be cool and the cool people will like you. ;)

Don't go looking for love. If you are searching for it, you probably won't find it. You can have realtionships, but when you are ready, love will find you. When it does, you will be able to tell the difference. That's exactly the viewpoint that is leading to fewer relationships.

Oi, nothing wrong with short people! I'm a 16-year old male with 5'4" (or maybe a little more) short people live longer 'cos their hearts don't have to pump blood around so much extra space!

I am talking the good guys, the awesome to be around funny, smart, great to hang out with guys You mean, the ones who are smart enough to realise that there's no point in relationships when you're 16?
Anyway, if they're awesome to be around, they're probably bastards. The quiet ones are the ones who are thinking rather than shooting their mouths off.

Good lord, I have a foot and 3 inches on you, and I'm only 17. I've never met someone that short. :eek:
My fiancée is 5'2", maybe 5'3".

Olara']My fiancée is 5'2", maybe 5'3".
My friend is maybe 5'5", and he's the shortest I know.
But anyway, enough about height....

<snip>
the good guys, the awesome to be around funny, smart, great to hang out with guys)
<snip>
So you've heard of me, then? :D

Olara']My fiancée is 5'2", maybe 5'3".
My mom's 5'2" and my dad is 6'4". Thier divorced now.

Tell that to Kristeva, Warnock and the beaver. Tell that to Brahms, Wagner, Byrd, Mendelsson, Beethoven, Handel, Mozart, Bach, Haydn, Berlioz, Schubert, Schumann, Shostakovich, Tchaikovsky and Rachmaninoff.:D

ok....still not sure wat im going to do about this boy but at least now i have a little more of an idea than i did before. if you would like to continue giving advice or just talking to me, you are more than welcome to talk to me on yahoo messenger. my screen name is lovable_hott_angel (no comments on the name please...i already know that it is a completely untrue statement). just say that you are from NS and i will be happy to talk. much love to all from...

~me~

(...) i chose this name because i am in fact 5 foot tall. and besides..short people are cool. much love from...
~me~
Kurze Leute sind großartig :p Speaks of a good sense of humor you've got there. And now go get'em, Tigress!

So you want to get into a serious high school relationship to "practice" for "real world" relationships? Wow, I think you're in for some disappointment later on. If it's practice, it's not serious, and HS relationships are serious only when something unexpected happens. If you two are not really mature enough to communicate with one another other than through notes, then what's the point? You may like him, he may like you, but really, you can't pass notes to each other at a restaurant, can you?
I didn't really mean for that to sound condescending. My point was that you really need to decide on what you're doing. Maybe you're not ready for a relationship, so go talk to the guy and be friendly, don't try to force something that is doomed from the start to happen. Talk first, then decide whether or not you really do like this guy.

Come to that, why bother with relationships at all? They require a great expenditure of effort and all they achieve is someone else invading your life and possible emotional hardship down the road.

As Foamy put it: "Dear Hopeless Romantic - I don't have a girlfriend because I do not need to validate my existence through the existence of somebody else. How about getting to know yourself."

Oh and as for advice.Set fire to the note,and the boy who sent it,after removing and putting his testicles in your pocket(for preservation in fermaldehyde later).Nobody will ever dare send you a note asking to go out with you.

wtf is wrong with you? have you no care of a man's feelings? Not all males must be this giant, fearless beast who doesnt have emotions and can handle everything. Just so, not all women are morons who dont know the first thing about relationships and or love even though they spend most their life wondering and hoping for it. (though most are).

HE IS SHY. GUYS CAN BE SHY JUST LIKE GIRLS CAN (sometimes) BE INTELLIGENT. Your apathy towards this will turn him away. The balls in your court now, not his. YOU make the move, YOU reply, if you dont, he'll take it as a "hell no". THINK ABOUT EMOTIONS. Its hard to believe, but yes, men have them too.

As Foamy put it: "Dear Hopeless Romantic - I don't have a girlfriend because I do not need to validate my existence through the existence of somebody else. How about getting to know yourself."
I love foamy :)

Come to that, why bother with relationships at all? They require a great expenditure of effort and all they achieve is someone else invading your life and possible emotional hardship down the road.

As Foamy put it: "Dear Hopeless Romantic - I don't have a girlfriend because I do not need to validate my existence through the existence of somebody else. How about getting to know yourself."

Foamy rocks my socks! :D

Wow. Seems that everyone loves Foamy and his angry words of wisdom.:)

Wow. Seems that everyone loves Foamy and his angry words of wisdom.:)
I'm not sure two of us count as 'everyone'. Be interesting to know who exactly had heard of it...

I'm not sure two of us count as 'everyone'. Be interesting to know who exactly had heard of it... Two people consecutively replying to a post about an obscure internet cartoon with the same sentiments counts as a lot.

Anyway, let's validate our existences through our own existences.
:eek: That sounded slightly Satanic.

Two people consecutively replying to a post about an obscure internet cartoon with the same sentiments counts as a lot.

Anyway, let's validate our existences through our own existences.
:eek: That sounded slightly Satanic.
Is it really that obscure, though?

Olara']So you've heard of me, then? :D
I was acutally thinking about my hubby when I wrote that, but yeah, I know the type. ;)

I don't know. Two friends of mine introduced me to it. Btw, don't look it up on google images. You will anyway now, but don't say I didn't warn you. And no, it's not pleasant to look at. I didn't even know it was possible.

I don't know. Two friends of mine introduced me to it. Btw, don't look it up on google images. You will anyway now, but don't say I didn't warn you. And no, it's not pleasant to look at. I didn't even know it was possible.
Lol, no, I will try to resist the curiosity. You had to say it...

You mean, the ones who are smart enough to realise that there's no point in relationships when you're 16?
yep.


Anyway, if they're awesome to be around, they're probably bastards. The quiet ones are the ones who are thinking rather than shooting their mouths off.
not so. most of the funny awesome to be around guys are pretty quiet, and don't waste thier time on girls unless they find one worth the effort.

and you stand a much better chance being worth the effort if you are uninterested in running around like a lost puppy after every guy you think might like you.

yep.



not so. most of the funny awesome to be around guys are pretty quiet, and don't waste thier time on girls unless they find one worth the effort. They're worth the effort?

Hmm. *ponders*

HE IS SHY. GUYS CAN BE SHY JUST LIKE GIRLS CAN (sometimes) BE INTELLIGENT. Your apathy towards this will turn him away. The balls in your court now, not his. YOU make the move, YOU reply, if you dont, he'll take it as a "hell no". THINK ABOUT EMOTIONS. Its hard to believe, but yes, men have them too.
and then he needs to learn that being shy doesn't pay off. If my husband had passed me a note or beat around the bush asking me out then I would have said no.

He just started talking, even though he was painfully shy, he asked me out. Plain and simple, just like a guy doesn't want an insecure girl, a girl doesn't want an insecure guy.

If you like someone ask them out, if you are scared to ask them out, then you gotta ask yourself why you like them in the first place.

Sometimes you ask someone out and they say "no", it's not a big deal, you just go find someone else. Life will not end because you get rejected.

They're worth the effort?

Hmm. *ponders*
when/if you find a girl that is worth the effort you will know. ;)

Just go ask him your self if you like him. ;) easier said then done, I know. However, in the end, conqer your fear and just effin do it. ;) "Who dares wins' - Special Air Service.

when/if you find a girl that is worth the effort you will know. ;) It's probably strange; I just don't get it how people can want to live with another person and think that they're "worth the effort"… worth the effort in what way? So you can get to know them better? So you can live with someone whom you like everything about? But surely if you want someone you can trust, and rely on… that person is yourself, right?

and then he needs to learn that being shy doesn't pay off. If my husband had passed me a note or beat around the bush asking me out then I would have said no.

He just started talking, even though he was painfully shy, he asked me out. Plain and simple, just like a guy doesn't want an insecure girl, a girl doesn't want an insecure guy.

If you like someone ask them out, if you are scared to ask them out, then you gotta ask yourself why you like them in the first place.

Sometimes you ask someone out and they say "no", it's not a big deal, you just go find someone else. Life will not end because you get rejected.

I'm still on the shy side, comes from being an ugly duckling. I'm still very nervous when i ask a woman out on a date. More nervous than when I've had people trying to kill me. Sounds wierd I know, but thats the way that it is for me. But once i can get past that point, my confidence comes back.

It's probably strange; I just don't get it how people can want to live with another person and think that they're "worth the effort"… worth the effort in what way? So you can get to know them better? So you can live with someone whom you like everything about? But surely if you want someone you can trust, and rely on… that person is yourself, right?
My life is better because my husband is in it. That is what makes someone "worth it" to me. If they are an asset rather than a liability. (sorry to get so blunt but I do work in the financial field)

I'm still on the shy side, comes from being an ugly duckling. I'm still very nervous when i ask a woman out on a date. More nervous than when I've had people trying to kill me. Sounds wierd I know, but thats the way that it is for me. But once i can get past that point, my confidence comes back.

I am pretty shy too, add on to that an anxiety disorder and I miss out on a lot (or I used to anyway)

you really have to sit down and figure it out objectively risk vs. reward

make a pro/con list if you have to but sitting everything out, or not doing the things you want to because you are scared is not a great way to live.

My life is better because my husband is in it. That is what makes someone "worth it" to me. If they are an asset rather than a liability. (sorry to get so blunt but I do work in the financial field) When it comes down to it, you're you and I'm me.;) I'm one of the introverted, only-child pensive types.;)

When it comes down to it, you're you and I'm me.;) I'm one of the introverted, only-child pensive types.;)
hey, you gotta be you. :D If you find someone who compliments you and makes things groovey that's cool, but if you don't that's cool too. I wish more teens realize what you already know, in the end you are alone. If you aren't cool with being yourself, you are going to be in for a pretty sucky time.:p

I suppose you could go lesbian.All the people I know who are gay and came out early ended up social outcasts until highschool.
Not to be a downer, or anything, but I thought that it was important to point out that coming out solves zero problems and creates many for young people.

and then he needs to learn that being shy doesn't pay off. If my husband had passed me a note or beat around the bush asking me out then I would have said no.

He just started talking, even though he was painfully shy, he asked me out. Plain and simple, just like a guy doesn't want an insecure girl, a girl doesn't want an insecure guy.

If you like someone ask them out, if you are scared to ask them out, then you gotta ask yourself why you like them in the first place.

Sometimes you ask someone out and they say "no", it's not a big deal, you just go find someone else. Life will not end because you get rejected.

Its hard to simply ask someone out, especially someone you've been quasi-friend/aquaintences with and the same person you have liked/known for years! [6(!) years to be exact]
Someone you see every day is very hard to ask out. Its akward and things dont go right.
Then if you're rejected, any time your with that person it becomes akward!

(i'm not stalking, not making bad jokes all the time, not always being rude to be near them, not trying to sit with them, i'm being so shy its unbearably hard just to make idle conversation!)

It is a big deal in this certain situation!
Somebody help me!

1)All the people I know who are gay and came out early ended up social outcasts until highschool.

2) Not to be a downer, or anything, but I thought that it was important to point out that coming out solves zero problems and creates many for young people.[numbering as always mine]


1) allow me to be the exception of the rule, if there is any such thing.

2) i really do beg to differ now. working with gay kids seeking help i realize that coming out at young age can be very troublesome, but i resent how you make it sound like a general rule. coming out in your (early, too) teens can just as well be a liberating, problem-solving thing to do.


p.s. you did not really take that comment about turning lesbian seriously, right? i mean, apart from it coming from DCD, it was..obvious..

Its hard to simply ask someone out, especially someone you've been quasi-friend/aquaintences with and the same person you have liked/known for years! [6(!) years to be exact]
Someone you see every day is very hard to ask out. Its akward and things dont go right.
Then if you're rejected, any time your with that person it becomes akward!

(i'm not stalking, not making bad jokes all the time, not always being rude to be near them, not trying to sit with them, i'm being so shy its unbearably hard just to make idle conversation!)

It is a big deal in this certain situation!
Somebody help me!
risk vs reward

If you like them enough you will take the risk, and if they have known you for 6 years, then they know it's a big deal for you to even think about asking, and if they have to say "no" they will probably be nice about it.

It shouldn't be awkward if you ask someone out and they say no. Try to think about it in terms of "favorite color" think to yourself "if I asked them if green was thier favorite color, and they said no would I be hurt?"

when you ask someone out and they say "no", it has nothing to do with you, it has to do with them. all you can do is ask and hope for the best.

(i'm not stalking, not making bad jokes all the time, not always being rude to be near them, not trying to sit with them, i'm being so shy its unbearably hard just to make idle conversation!)

It is a big deal in this certain situation!
Somebody help me!
I can't make idle conversation, but for different reasons. It just seems to me that all of the stuff people talk about to 'be polite' or to pass time with strangers is so incredibly inane and pointless that it's hard to force myself to follow suit. In my opinion, time is better spent silent than talking pointlessly.

I cant help but feel that your problems are rooted more in all people.

I cant help but feel that your problems are rooted more in all people.
Who are you talking to? me? I don't understand this post, anyway.

I can't make idle conversation, but for different reasons. It just seems to me that all of the stuff people talk about to 'be polite' or to pass time with strangers is so incredibly inane and pointless that it's hard to force myself to follow suit. In my opinion, time is better spent silent than talking pointlessly.
let's face it that isnt a pro-humanity sort of thing to say.

1) allow me to be the exception of the rule, if there is any such thing.You're still not an exception to the "All the people I know who came out early ended up social outcasts" rule. I help run the GSA at my school, and I know a lot of gay kids my age. I also knew a lot of kids who made fun of me for being gay, even though I wasn't.

2) i really do beg to differ now. working with gay kids seeking help i realize that coming out at young age can be very troublesome, but i resent how you make it sound like a general rule. coming out in your (early, too) teens can just as well be a liberating, problem-solving thing to do.Being ashamed of your sexuality is no good. Thinking of your sexuality as some dirty little secret is not healthy. If you come out early, twisted, mean kids will taunt you/make your life hell/kick your ass. It's not right, but until it changes, young teens should not be putting themselves in that position.
I still think that people should wait until highschool to come out.

p.s. you did not really take that comment about turning lesbian seriously, right? i mean, apart from it coming from DCD, it was..obvious..I didn't take it seriously, but for anyone to suggest, even jokingly, that life would be easier for this poor girl were she a lesbian... I felt the need to clear that up.

let's face it that isnt a pro-humanity sort of thing to say.
Well, don't you agree? I'm not depressed or anti-social or anything. I just enjoy stimulating conversation, not mindless bullshit. And you must admit, the majority of the world doesn't exactly provide much food for thought.

You're still not an exception to the "All the people I know who came out early ended up social outcasts" rule. I help run the GSA at my school, and I know a lot of gay kids my age. I also knew a lot of kids who made fun of me for being gay, even though I wasn't.

Being ashamed of your sexuality is no good. Thinking of your sexuality as some dirty little secret is not healthy. If you come out early, twisted, mean kids will taunt you/make your life hell/kick your ass. It's not right, but until it changes, young teens should not be putting themselves in that position.
I still think that people should wait until highschool to come out.

I didn't take it seriously, but for anyone to suggest, even jokingly, that life would be easier for this poor girl were she a lesbian... I felt the need to clear that up.
let's face it shame isnt a good thing, embrace who you are and you cant go wrong.......unless you are a peteresk or a murderer. in said case be ashamed, verry ashamed.

Well, don't you agree? I'm not depressed or anti-social or anything. I just enjoy stimulating conversation, not mindless bullshit. And you must admit, the majority of the world doesn't exactly provide much food for thought.
I couldnt agree with you more, but you need to find stimulation in those whom surround you or they do nothing but harm.

risk vs reward

If you like them enough you will take the risk, and if they have known you for 6 years, then they know it's a big deal for you to even think about asking, and if they have to say "no" they will probably be nice about it.

It shouldn't be awkward if you ask someone out and they say no. Try to think about it in terms of "favorite color" think to yourself "if I asked them if green was thier favorite color, and they said no would I be hurt?"

when you ask someone out and they say "no", it has nothing to do with you, it has to do with them. all you can do is ask and hope for the best.

two problems: there older and more socially active than me. i am more of an introvert. doesnt asking make things akward anyway?

i agree about conversation. why speak pointlessly?

I couldnt agree with you more, but you need to find stimulation in those whom surround you or they do nothing but harm.
Yes, true, or you can just surround yourself with more interesting people. That's why I'm looking forward to post-secondary so much.

Yes, true, or you can just surround yourself with more interesting people. That's why I'm looking forward to post-secondary so much.
Look it works best in this way. things would be so much easier if people stoped thinking about certain things such as; the opinions of others, the stupid humor of the rest of the mindless populus, and most importantly life at such an early age.

two problems: there older and more socially active than me. i am more of an introvert. doesnt asking make things akward anyway?

i agree about conversation. why speak pointlessly?

let me ask you a question, why do you like them?

Look it works best in this way. things would be so much easier if people stoped thinking about certain things such as; the opinions of others, the stupid humor of the rest of the mindless populus, and most importantly life at such an early age.

Yes. That's a large part of why the conversations most people my age have are so dumb. They're constantly worrying about what others think, meaning that chunk of their lives is essentially wasted, which is a shame.

outdated, not wasted. everyone devolops mentally at some point. for the love of god i hope it's soon.
That came out wrong, All people need to change. Socally and Mentally. Too long have surcum to the statis-quo. when such doesnt exist. There is no such thing as normal.:headbang:

let me ask you a question, why do you like them?

i dnot know, i just do. she is not dropdead gorgeous, but very pretty noetheless. she is smart. there is just something there that is attracting.

i have been suppressing it for most of the six years. it goes away and comes back whenever i see her.

she's beautiful to me.

weakness.

i dnot know, i just do. she is not dropdead gorgeous, but very pretty noetheless. she is smart. there is just something there that is attracting.

i have been suppressing it for most of the six years. it goes away and comes back whenever i see her.

she's beautiful to me.
if after 6 years you can't come up with more than "she is pretty and smart" I have a hard time believeing that you really like her. I think what has happened is that you have made her into your ideal. When it comes down to it, you like her because you have liked her for so long.

I am going to suggest you get a practice girl. Yep, that's right, go out find a girl who doesn't scare/disgust you and take her to the movies. See how that works for you.

1. she could be cool
2. you now have some confidence from either a date that went well, or knowledge from a date that didn't go well.
3. it could knock you out of your "ideal girl" problem you have now.


trust me, it will work, if nothing else and your practice girl rejects you then at least you don't have much emotional stock in the whole thing and you will know that you can live through a rejection. :)

if after 6 years you can't come up with more than "she is pretty and smart" I have a hard time believeing that you really like her. I think what has happened is that you have made her into your ideal. When it comes down to it, you like her because you have liked her for so long.

I am going to suggest you get a practice girl. Yep, that's right, go out find a girl who doesn't scare/disgust you and take her to the movies. See how that works for you.

1. she could be cool
2. you now have some confidence from either a date that went well, or knowledge from a date that didn't go well.
3. it could knock you out of your "ideal girl" problem you have now.


trust me, it will work, if nothing else and your practice girl rejects you then at least you don't have much emotional stock in the whole thing and you will know that you can live through a rejection. :)


right i'll try that
you may be right on the ideal girl problem, especially since i can't get anything because i dont spend that much time with her.

Sounds like a schoolkid. Your scientific study could lead to a long term lease on a prison cell.

It's not like I'd go past 3rd base with a 14 yr old.

Go the Emo generation... what a bunch of gutless namby pambys.

There is over 4 billion people on this planet, if you cant find someone to love amongst them without worrying about the little games some of them play, then just walk out into a paddock and shoot yourself in the head and be done with it.

It's called Natural Selection... and more of it is needed on this vastly overpopulated world

As Foamy put it: "Dear Hopeless Romantic - I don't have a girlfriend because I do not need to validate my existence through the existence of somebody else. How about getting to know yourself."What about sex? dont you need sex?

sex is great... you should try it sometimes...

What about sex? dont you need sex?

sex is great... you should try it sometimes...
first nobody needs sex
and second I think (if I remember correctly) that Lisk is celebate, because sex causes more problems then it's worth outside of marriage. ;)

What about sex? dont you need sex?

sex is great... you should try it sometimes... ur such a hipocrite. like liberals*cough*! o im sry, flu. I HATE PEOPLE WHO PANCAKE

Come to that, why bother with relationships at all? They require a great expenditure of effort and all they achieve is someone else invading your life and possible emotional hardship down the road.because we enjoy dating and romace...and all those games that fill our senses with great joy?

and no they do not require great effort...all you need to know is...when to say "enough"...

first nobody needs sex
and second I think (if I remember correctly) that Lisk is celebate, because sex causes more problems then it's worth outside of marriage. ;) become a philospher...everyone hates u

become a philospher...everyone hates u
nobody hates me.

first nobody needs sex
and second I think (if I remember correctly) that Lisk is celebate, because sex causes more problems then it's worth outside of marriage. ;)I dont know about you...but I do need sex.

sex causes problems only if you lose you head over it. (that is usually by people not getting enough)

Go the Emo generation... what a bunch of gutless namby pambys.

There is over 4 billion people on this planet, if you cant find someone to love amongst them without worrying about the little games some of them play, then just walk out into a paddock and shoot yourself in the head and be done with it.

It's called Natural Selection... and more of it is needed on this vastly overpopulated world
There's coming up on 7 billion people now, actually. And the rate of increase is slowing. It's expected to stabilise at 9ish billion.

I dont know about you...but I do need sex.
no, you want it, you don't need it. There is a difference between want and need.

sex causes problems only if you lose you head over it. (that is usually by people not getting enough)
:rolleyes:

ok. so, almost 2 weeks ago, a boy that i kinda like asked me out in the form of a note. i was instantly angered because it brought back old memories. every other time that ive been asked out via note, they never actually wanted to go out with me...instead, they laughed at me, as did their friends. so i decided not to answer him because i didnt want to be hurt again. i told myself that if he really did want to go out with me, then he would talk to me in person, or even just on the phone. he didn't. :( now i dont know what to do. i really like him a lot but im afraid he doesnt like me at all anymore. wat should i do now?

~confused and lonely me~

He asked you out with a note? Whats his deal? Dont go out with him unless he personally talks to you or on the phone, any time he doesnt ask with his own voice than he's a wimp and doesnt deserve to go out.

no, you want it, you don't need it. There is a difference between want and need.sex gives me emotional balance...and I feel good for 6 hours or more...life is rose-colored after sex...

Do I want it? of course I want it...

The population will stablise?

Bwahahahahaha.... more people = more commercial opportunities.

Do you think the 13 families will let something like overcrowding slow them down?

no, you want it, you don't need it. There is a difference between want and need.


:rolleyes: there is great lust for sex in (mostly boys) everyone. But no one needs it to live. Sex out of marriage is common, too common.
RISKS: 80% of teens carry STD's!!! Teen sex results in unwanted pregnancy and disease. the chanse of u getting pregnent in teen sex is 18%. that's too much!!!

He asked you out with a note? Whats his deal? Dont go out with him unless he personally talks to you or on the phone, any time he doesnt ask with his own voice than he's a wimp and doesnt deserve to go out. wow harsh. Its hard for a boy. I, being sort of a loser would be completely unnerved if i asked a girl out, she harshly said no, and she told all her friends and it went around skool. U KNO HOW MUCH THATS SUCKS!?! DO U?!?!?!?!

The population will never slow down...people just cant keep their hands of eachother:fluffle:

The population will never slow down...people just cant keep their hands of eachother:fluffle:
Well, I'm just the messenger. I'll try to bring the book I got it from tomorrow and scan the source. Unfortunately it's like 2ft tall and 1.5ft across, so it's gonna suck dragging it around :(

RISKS: 80% of teens carry STD's!!! Teen sex results in unwanted pregnancy and disease. the chanse of u getting pregnent in teen sex is 18%. that's too much!!!

Eighty percent? That sounds a little... exaggerated. Where did you find this particular gem?