NationStates Jolt Archive

Right, this is my first post on General, and thats an indication of how badly my head feels like a fish bowl with the same angsty goldfish swimming around and around in it, with a big string of poo hanging out of it. Sorry--the last part didn't apply to the metaphor.

Anywho, I've come to ask the wonderfully talented, excellent listeners, and qualified psychologists who browse the General forums for advice.

Here's my story:

I'm 17, male.

I met this girl on a confirmation retreat (Catholic, if it matters...and no, both of us aren't "religious"....its mandatory). From the start I was wow'd. She was pretty and intelligent, very cool.

More than anything else she was intriguing to me, which is odd. You see, usually I'm a REALLY good judge of character. I can see a girl and within five minutes tell if she's into me, or meet a dude and tell if he's annoyed by me or thinks I'm the greatest dude since Jimi Hendrix. The point is, I could'nt and CANNOT get a read on her....not then, not now.

That intrigues me to no end. I love that she confuses me. Plus she's got all the assets too, right?

So she was in my small group, we chatted, formed a bond, whatnot.
After retreat I gave her my screename and then we exchanged phone numbers later on.

Here's where I am so completely confused: She has a boyfriend. Downer, right? Maybe... On retreat she said she always went through relationships fast, and that her longest one was 1.5 months. I played it off as, "cool; you're just enjoying high school." Then a week later she was complaining because she had a really bad day and she mentioned she was getting bored with her boyfriend. My mood rose. Okay, so we established the first confusion. 'course, weeks later she asks me how to ask the boyfriend to a dance? THen a week later again she leaves a party with me to go do donuts....and we walk right past him....he has no clue who I was so it must've been a bold move....

Now, here's the odd thing. Whenever I'm with her she's all over me...not like....sexually, right. She sticks near me and talks to me, we go off and play around with each other (snow wrestling, for example). I called her once on a school night because I was bored and she just came to the mall with me.... Just like that. Yet on weekends she never gives me a call and invites me anywhere...its only if I call her or text her and she mentions there's a party or something I could stop at. If I do go I have an awesome time with her.

Okay, third confusion. I seem to want her, right? But what do I want? I don't think I want a sexual relationship, or even a relationship. If I take that, and it ends poorly, we'll never have what we had again, right? There's always a loss of love no matter what.

So basically it comes down to this:

I can't get a reading off her, I can't tell if she likes me. I can't tell if she's happy with her boyfriend. I can't tell if she wants to be good friends or if I'm just the oddity from a different school that shows up sometimes. I can't tell if I want to pursue her or if I should be happy with that I got..


Any advice?

P.S. I'm pretty much quitting smoking (herb and tobacco) for her.....and me....but I think for her? You can see this is another confusion.

Seems to me she's waiting for you to make the first move, but then again it's been forever since I've been a teenager.

Seems to me she's waiting for you to make the first move, but then again it's been forever since I've been a teenager.

Right, that's what all my friends are saying.....but if she's waiting for me to make the first move, why doesn't she drop the boyfriend??

play it easy ... just get to know her for who she is and take it from there. and if you wish to take it any further, let her know by tactfully laying all the cards down so that she is not surprised by anything.

that's my 2 canadian pennies. take care and let me know the results ;)

Sounds like she is a flirty person in general, she's not committed to romance and she just wants to have fun, she might think you're a cool person, and you definitely like her. In other words, Hormone City.

play it easy ... just get to know her for who she is and take it from there. and if you wish to take it any further, let her know by tactfully laying all the cards down so that she is not surprised by anything.

that's my 2 canadian pennies. take care and let me know the results ;)

I need more change....Define "tactfully laying all the cards down."

Seems to me she's waiting for you to make the first move, but then again it's been forever since I've been a teenager.
Agreed, she's waving the flag, sending up the fireworks, and doing everything but screaming at the top of her lungs.

Now, does she do this because you really have clicked and she wants to start a romantic relationship, or does she do this because you wandered by at the right time, that I cannot say. And it's up to you if you wish to accept her invite and find out yourself.

Boy goes: "Do you fancy me? 'Cause I fancy you, but I don't really know what I want, because I'm a dolt."

Girl answers.

Sometimes the solutions to boy-girl courting rituals are so simple, I honestly do not understand what the matter is with you people.

Sounds like she is a flirty person in general, she's not committed to romance and she just wants to have fun, she might think you're a cool person, and you definitely like her. In other words, Hormone City.

Did you miss the part about "teenage angst?" Hell yeah, Hormone City. Except its hormones coupled with lack of experience to figure out what to do next.

Agreed, she's waving the flag, sending up the fireworks, and doing everything but screaming at the top of her lungs.


But why is the boyfriend still in the picture? Yechh

Right, that's what all my friends are saying.....but if she's waiting for me to make the first move, why doesn't she drop the boyfriend??

Could be she's the co-dependent type and doesn't want to be alone. If, in her head, she is uncertain how you feel about her she might not want to drop the boyfriend just in case you "don't like her that way". Or, she could simply not know how to go about breaking it off with her boyfriend. Two possibilities.

Meh.. in a couple years, your horomones will die down and you'll be through with this kinda stuff.. that is, unless you give in to the chemicals and become dependent on that sort of thing while they're affecting your brain chemistry... my advice is to hold out until you even out, chemically. If you can make it until then, you'll be glad you did.

Could be she's the co-dependent type and doesn't want to be alone. If, in her head, she is uncertain how you feel about her she might not want to drop the boyfriend just in case you "don't like her that way". Or, she could simply not know how to go about breaking it off with her boyfriend. Two possibilities.

Good answer. Unfortunately, like most advice, it still leaves me with responsibility of action. :(

But why is the boyfriend still in the picture? Yechh
I can think of a few reasons, some nice, some not so.

1. She's a flirt and is just looking for the next fun party (aka, you).
2. She can't read you either, and while she REALLY wants you, she doesn't know how you'll respond so keeps her current bf close just in case you prove less than interested.
3. A little bit of 1 and 2, with "the taken person is interesting" tossed in for spice.

Meh.. in a couple years, your horomones will die down and you'll be through with this kinda stuff.. that is, unless you give in to the chemicals and become dependent on that sort of thing while they're affecting your brain chemistry... my advice is to hold out until you even out, chemically. If you can make it until then, you'll be glad you did.

Not planning on being a 40 yr. old virgin, thank you. No way I can wait until the hormone imbalance goes away.

I can think of a few reasons, some nice, some not so.

1. She's a flirt and is just looking for the next fun party (aka, you).
2. She can't read you either, and while she REALLY wants you, she doesn't know how you'll respond so keeps her current bf close just in case you prove less than interested.
3. A little bit of 1 and 2, with "the taken person is interesting" tossed in for spice.

Reasonable. Any idea on how to probe the darkness without either side tipping their respective (and possible) hands?

It's obvious she is looking for someone to join her and her boyfriend in a wild sex romp.

Not planning on being a 40 yr. old virgin, thank you. No way I can wait until the hormone imbalance goes away.

Since when did "a couple years" become 20+? You'll be fine by the time you're 19 or 20. Like I was saying, you'll be glad you took that path once you get there.

Good answer. Unfortunately, like most advice, it still leaves me with responsibility of action. :(
For the first time, I feel I HAVE to use this smiley... :headbang:

You will ALWAYS have the responcibility of action in relationships!

Unless your young lass bonks you on the head, drags you off to her bed to have her way with you, you'll have to act sooner or later!

For the first time, I feel I HAVE to use this smiley... :headbang:

Will will ALWAYS have the responcibility of action in relationships!

Unless your young lass bonks you on the head, drags you off to her bed to have her way with you, you'll have to act sooner or later!

I would NOT mind having her bonk me........

That necessary joke aside, I'm lazy and deep down a bit shy. I want to more proof that the feeling could be mutual before I drop my pants (metaphorically speaking)

Since when did "a couple years" become 20+? You'll be fine by the time you're 19 or 20. Like I was saying, you'll be glad you took that path once you get there.

Sorry, I had to use the 40 yro. virgin joke. But yeah, I seriously don't think I could abstain from a serious relationship for 2 or 3 years..... Don't know why, though.

Sorry, I had to use the 40 yro. virgin joke. But yeah, I seriously don't think I could abstain from a serious relationship for 2 or 3 years..... Don't know why, though.

Do you have a job? Time flies when you do.. Honestly, I don't even really remember my teenaged years.. All you need are goals aside from social success..

Reasonable. Any idea on how to probe the darkness without either side tipping their respective (and possible) hands?
Well, talking always seems to be a good method.

Seriously though, I screwed up a good relationship with a friend because I was in the same boat you're in; it ended up with lots of bad juju.

I am now engaged to a wonderful woman who is the best thing that ever happened to me because I finally just asked her point blank if she wanted to start a relationship with me, even though she technically had a bf at the time.

If I hadn't asked, I'd have never gotten anywhere. Really, just ask her.

Do you have a job? Time flies when you do.. Honestly, I don't even really remember my teenaged years.. All you need are goals aside from social succes..

I have a job, and I hate it. Well.... Eh, it seems my weekends go away way too fast. Shouldn't I be having the time of my social life now though? Wouldn't it be better for me to live carefree when I CAN?

All you need are goals aside from social success..

Omfg, that's herecy!

Well, talking always seems to be a good method.

Seriously though, I screwed up a good relationship with a friend because I was in the same boat you're in; it ended up with lots of bad juju.

I am now engaged to a wonderful woman who is the best thing that ever happened to me because I finally just asked her point blank if she wanted to start a relationship with me, even though she technically had a bf at the time.

If I hadn't asked, I'd have never gotten anywhere. Really, just ask her.

Well, the second part of your post is wonderful....but the first part kinda contradicts it. It can easily backfire and I'm not sure I want that... I'm looking for a safe alternative... with my previous girlfriend I had her loudmouth friend to tell me everything before it happened....not so in this case.

Omfg, that's herecy!

Did I really spell it like that? I'd better check the stove.. maybe I left the gas on or something... :p

I would NOT mind having her bonk me........
Alas, the women of today, even as agressive as they are, rarely go for the bonking thing.

Of course there are ladies on this forum who will no doubt prove me wrong in that regard, but waiting for it to happen will leave you just waiting. ;)

Alas, the women of today, even as agressive as they are, rarely go for the bonking thing.

Of course there are ladies on this forum who will no doubt prove me wrong in that regard, but waiting for it to happen will leave you just waiting. ;)

True...but then we get to the age old question:

Is it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?

I have a job, and I hate it. Well.... Eh, it seems my weekends go away way too fast. Shouldn't I be having the time of my social life now though? Wouldn't it be better for me to live carefree when I CAN?

It's probably never a great idea to be "carefree," although I'm guessing you don't mean it that way.. basically, you're at your most awkward and impulsive stage in life.. I'd say it's better to be social when you're older and more sane.. I don't feel like I missed out by working instead of going to school.. unless you count missing out on being arrested, ODing, or having regrettable relationships..

unless you grew up like me, people are hard to read. they seem forign to you if you are normal. dont sweat it, if she hangs out with you, she F@#king likes you. you arent the bane of all good in her eyes if you see her on a regular basis.

It's probably never a great idea to be "carefree," although I'm guessing you don't mean it that way.. basically, you're at your most awkward and impulsive stage in life.. I'd say it's better to be social when you're older and more sane.. I don't feel like I missed out by working instead of going to school.. unless you count missing out on being arrested, ODing, or having regrettable relationships..

But isn't high school supposed to be the best times of your life BECAUSE of that arrests, risks, and regrets?

Well, the second part of your post is wonderful....but the first part kinda contradicts it. It can easily backfire and I'm not sure I want that... I'm looking for a safe alternative... with my previous girlfriend I had her loudmouth friend to tell me everything before it happened....not so in this case.
I should have clarified, sorry. I had a friend in high school whom I was very attracted to, and whom I believe felt the same way about me. She did a lot of the same things the lady you're talking about did, but I never got over my shyness to actually ask her, while in high school.

When I finally did, and something did happen, it was too late and it came damn near close to destroying a wonderful friendship. That's why I say you should ask. There's no real safe alternative, and no real way for you to find out for sure. If you really read people that well, and she's confusing you, accept that means something interesting might be occuring and ask.

Ya don't have to hop into bed with her right now, there's nothing wrong with asking if she'd like to go out on a date and set boundries.

But there's no safe, guarenteed path. You're going to have to take a risk.

unless you grew up like me, people are hard to read. they seem forign to you if you are normal. dont sweat it, if she hangs out with you, she F@#king likes you. you arent the bane of all good in her eyes if you see her on a regular basis.

Right right it seems like she wants me when we're together....but then why doesn't she call me up to hang out? Seems like I'm always doing the work.... I'll text her with something random, excuse it as boredom in the next one, and she'll basically tell me to "go call up some of your friends." What's up with that?

high school sucked, there will always be regrets. always reprocussions. no escape in that. and stop looking with rose colored glasses. If it seems hard now, think how hard your future is.

I should have clarified, sorry. I had a friend in high school whom I was very attracted to, and whom I believe felt the same way about me. She did a lot of the same things the lady you're talking about did, but I never got over my shyness to actually ask her, while in high school.

When I finally did, and something did happen, it was too late and it came damn near close to destroying a wonderful friendship. That's why I say you should ask. There's no real safe alternative, and no real way for you to find out for sure. If you really read people that well, and she's confusing you, accept that means something interesting might be occuring and ask.

Ya don't have to hop into bed with her right now, there's nothing wrong with asking if she'd like to go out on a date and set boundries.

But there's no safe, guarenteed path. You're going to have to take a risk.

Ugh my brain knows you're 100% right but my mind hates that there's no one word answer to my problem.

True...but then we get to the age old question:

Is it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?
That is up to you of course, but to love is a two way street, it is not looking at someone and wondering what might have been.

That is up to you of course, but to love is a two way street, it is not looking at someone and wondering what might have been.

Intriguing, go on... (if I'm not keeping you, that is..)

But isn't high school supposed to be the best times of your life BECAUSE of that arrests, risks, and regrets?

I hope not.. no one ever told me high school was supposed to be the highlight of my life, but it really wasn't, despire having generally good experiences throughout.. In high school, you're really operating within a very narrow and particular social scene.. afterward, you've got a lot more freedom to find your own crowd.. I wouldn't worry too much about how you do in high school.

Beat up the boyfriend. That will impress her.

So, this reminds me of when I was a high schooler...I was in a similar situation.

There was a girl who was really flirty with me all the time. Anyway, she had a boyfriend who was on a mission trip in Chile or something. Apparently, he went on the mission trip to prove to her that he was Christian...or something. Essentially, he said he was doing it for her.

But she's still flirting with me a lot, and the boyfriend has been gone for a long time and isn't supposed to be back for a long time...so I just go on and ask her out.

Well, a week after I ask her out, she tells me she broke up with her mission trip boyfriend and asks me what I want to do that weekend. So we start dating a bit...

But, it never goes past the flirting stuff. I mean, the flirting stuff is fun, I'll admit...but the relationship lasted quite a bit and didn't go far...at all...and then she breaks up with me. Offers no explanation, but whatev. I was about to break up with her anyway because it clearly wasn't working out...

So, the moral of the story is, if you do ask this girl out, and you go out with her, and she just keeps the flirty face on and doesn't really change at all, get rid of her within a couple months, because there's no point in waiting around much longer than that for the two of you to finally realize nothing is going to come of the relationship.

either go for it or dont, what's the worst that can happen. she say no or you find that it isnt woth it in the long run. but theen again think about the best possible outcome.

Beat up the boyfriend. That will impress her.

He should hit it. That'll impress her even more.

True...but then we get to the age old question:

Is it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?
You might as well ask if it's better to have lived than not to have been at all.

Just ask the poor girl already. Put yourself, her, her boyfriend, and all your friends (who has to listen to your crap) out of your collective misery.

A "Fuck off!" will net you what? Somewhere between 2 weeks & 2 months worth of shitty days. Living in the limbo on the other hand, could be a semi-permanent thing.

Just listen to Fass.

So, this reminds me of when I was a high schooler...I was in a similar situation.

There was a girl who was really flirty with me all the time. Anyway, she had a boyfriend who was on a mission trip in Chile or something. Apparently, he went on the mission trip to prove to her that he was Christian...or something. Essentially, he said he was doing it for her.

But she's still flirting with me a lot, and the boyfriend has been gone for a long time and isn't supposed to be back for a long time...so I just go on and ask her out.

Well, a week after I ask her out, she tells me she broke up with her mission trip boyfriend and asks me what I want to do that weekend. So we start dating a bit...

But, it never goes past the flirting stuff. I mean, the flirting stuff is fun, I'll admit...but the relationship lasted quite a bit and didn't go far...at all...and then she breaks up with me. Offers no explanation, but whatev. I was about to break up with her anyway because it clearly wasn't working out...

So, the moral of the story is, if you do ask this girl out, and you go out with her, and she just keeps the flirty face on and doesn't really change at all, get rid of her within a couple months, because there's no point in waiting around much longer than that for the two of you to finally realize nothing is going to come of the relationship.


Depressing story.....thanks for the input though, I guess.

Intriguing, go on... (if I'm not keeping you, that is..)
Well, I mean how can you love someone without actually having a relationship? And how can you be content with your past if you do not bother to take the paths presented to you?

Whether or not you chose to take a path is up to you, but standing at the path trying to decide to take it or not till is disapears leaves you with nothing but regrets.

look, world aside if you want to ask, ask. Doubt wastes time and if you think about it too much you will never do it. why do people always have to think things out?

You might as well ask if it's better to have lived than not to have been at all.

Just ask the poor girl already. Put yourself, her, her boyfriend, and all your friends (who has to listen to your crap) out of your collective misery.

A "Fuck off!" will net you what? Somewhere between 2 weeks & 2 months worth of shitty days. Living in the limbo on the other hand, could be a semi-permanent thing.

Just listen to Fass.

Hmmm......yeah.....I would agree with you.... but I'm a pussy..... I'm looking for signs that I should look for.....things I should ask, etc..

Well, I mean how can you love someone without actually having a relationship? And how can you be content with your past if you do not bother to take the paths presented to you?

Whether or not you chose to take a path is up to you, but standing at the path trying to decide to take it or not till is disapears leaves you with nothing but regrets.

I see what you mean....and the "L" word is still alien to me. I don't think this is love...I wouldn't like to assume that...... I'm too young to know love.

quit thinking and F*^king act.

I see what you mean....and the "L" word is still alien to me. I don't think this is love...I wouldn't like to assume that...... I'm too young to know love.
Well, if you go for this relationship, and it works out, you might just find out. Or not.

quit thinking and F*^king act.

Well....right now, she's sleeping. Want me to call her, wake her up, breathe heavy, and hang up?

I'm looking for signs that I should look for.....

So what else does she have to do to make you think she likes you too? Are you waiting for her to show up naked in your bedroom some night?

if that approach suits you, then yes. but if i were in your place, no.

So what else does she have to do to make you think she likes you too? Are you waiting for her to show up naked in your bedroom some night?

I wouldn't mind that, but good things don't fall into my lap. Its obvious that I have to make a move here, but isnt there just something else I can do to be a little more confident I'll get a positive response?

Well....right now, she's sleeping. Want me to call her, wake her up, breathe heavy, and hang up?
Another interesting story...

I have a friend who frequently gets messages of someone heavily breathing left on his voice mail...

if we all sat looking for signs we would do nothing. Signs are convinent, not a nesesity,

Another interesting story...

I have a friend who frequently gets messages of someone heavily breathing left on his voice mail...

Why doesn't he get someone else to dial the number?

if we all sat looking for signs we would do nothing. Signs are convinent, not a nesesity,

No of course not, but I'm too inexperienced and too shy to do the obvious thing here.

I wouldn't mind that, but good things don't fall into my lap. Its obvious that I have to make a move here, but isnt there just something else I can do to be a little more confident I'll get a positive response?
頭いいたい! No, there isn't. She's giving you the signs, it's now up to you to decide. If we all knew what would happen ahead of time, life would be a whole hell of a lot eaiser, but it isn't so...

Shed the formalities and put your feelings on the table. crap i am only like 2 years older than you and i know that.

頭いいたい! No, there isn't. She's giving you the signs, it's now up to you to decide. If we all knew what would happen ahead of time, life would be a whole hell of a lot eaiser, but it isn't so...

What if they aren't signs, though!? I know for a fact she has a very bubbly personality......what if I'm just mistaking her bouncing on my lap for something other than hyperactivity?

Shed the formalities and put your feelings on the table. crap i am only like 2 years older than you and i know that.

Two years is a long time, man....... I bet you've matured a helluva lot more than you think you have.

life is a consistant run of chances. take as many as possible and you should turn out well rounded.

What if they aren't signs, though!? I know for a fact she has a very bubbly personality......what if I'm just mistaking her bouncing on my lap for something other than hyperactivity?
Re-read your last sentance, slowly, a few times, and then REALLY try to think of a time where a girl would bounce on your lap and NOT be showing interest!

Honestly, if she was doing it for fun or for teasing, there would probably be other signs for you to see. As is, yes, she's angling for you.

Re-read your last sentance, slowly, a few times, and then REALLY try to think of a time where a girl would bounce on your lap and NOT be showing interest!

Honestly, if she was doing it for fun or for teasing, there would probably be other signs for you to see. As is, yes, she's angling for you.

Okay, I want to agree with you...very badly.

But, then this...why did she talk about her boyfriend with me? Isn't that kinda like.....a rattlesnake's tail?

And ALSO, why does she never initiate the calls to hang out? Maybe she's just "accomodating" me..

Two years is a long time, man....... I bet you've matured a helluva lot more than you think you have.
i apriciate the sentiment, but i have had the same world views since i was 15 and they havent led me wrong. you think too much, all people do these days. fights solve only minor things, and i bet you would get your ass kicked. the way you shyed away from the fighting idea. no offence ment.

i apriciate the sentiment, but i have had the same world views since i was 15 and they havent led me wrong. you think too much, all people do these days. fights solve only minor things, and i bet you would get your ass kicked. the way you shyed away from the fighting idea. no offence ment.

Ahhh I would get my ass kicked. I'm an ex-stoner.... I still hold the nonviolent virtue.

Okay. If she's bouncing on your lap she wants you. I'm a girl and I don't go around bouncing on my male friends' laps unless I want their dick. Plain and simple. Also, being a girl (although this is more likely due to insecurity) I have NEVER told a guy I liked them as more than just a friend. A) I have no nerve in that area, fear of rejection and such, and B)I wouldn't want the guy to think I'm a whore by coming onto him. Funny how some guys are like that.

Okay, I want to agree with you...very badly.

But, then this...why did she talk about her boyfriend with me? Isn't that kinda like.....a rattlesnake's tail?

And ALSO, why does she never initiate the calls to hang out? Maybe she's just "accomodating" me..
wow you are parinoid, mabie she is bored, and possibly looking for an out. you may be it.

Okay, I want to agree with you...very badly.

But, then this...why did she talk about her boyfriend with me? Isn't that kinda like.....a rattlesnake's tail?

And ALSO, why does she never initiate the calls to hang out? Maybe she's just "accomodating" me..
For the boyfriend thing, I don't know. I do not know the lass in question so I cannot tell you.

As for why she doesn't call you, she's been giving you all the come hither stuff when you're together. What else do you wish for? It sounds (without knowing the young lady), that while she is showing her interest, she's the type that believes in the man making the first move.

Again, you'll have to take a risk to figure this one out.

Ahhh I would get my ass kicked. I'm an ex-stoner.... I still hold the nonviolent virtue.
i am a passifist and i could and have held my own in a fight. nonviolince is good. dont everthink otherwise.

Okay. If she's bouncing on your lap she wants you. I'm a girl and I don't go around bouncing on my male friends' laps unless I want their dick. Plain and simple. Also, being a girl (although this is more likely due to insecurity) I have NEVER told a guy I liked them as more than just a friend. A) I have no nerve in that area, fear of rejection and such, and B)I wouldn't want the guy to think I'm a whore by coming onto him. Funny how some guys are like that.

Alright, the bouncing on lap was a bad example. Let me explain... We had just come inside from playing in the snow and I had pushed her down or something funny and to get back at me she was trying to hit me in the nuts.....so she plunked herself down on my lap a bunch of times inside infront of all her friends trying to crush my goods... I played around and lifted her legs and tilted her and whatnot.... Trying to read that, I'd say she was just trying to nail my nuts?

i am a passifist and i could and have held my own in a fight. nonviolince is good. dont everthink otherwise.

Well I dunno I'm a very funny person (that sounds stupid) but I always disarm people with humor....I've never ever thrown a punch....so regarding a fight, I'd probably lose. I'm not small or weak though....just don't ever need to fight.

Alright, the bouncing on lap was a bad example. Let me explain... We had just come inside from playing in the snow and I had pushed her down or something funny and to get back at me she was trying to hit me in the nuts.....so she plunked herself down on my lap a bunch of times inside infront of all her friends trying to crush my goods... I played around and lifted her legs and tilted her and whatnot.... Trying to read that, I'd say she was just trying to nail my nuts?
that doesnt sound like a suddle hint, dude, that's foreplay. she likes you, have you never had a girlfriend?

Alright, the bouncing on lap was a bad example. Let me explain... We had just come inside from playing in the snow and I had pushed her down or something funny and to get back at me she was trying to hit me in the nuts.....so she plunked herself down on my lap a bunch of times inside infront of all her friends trying to crush my goods... I played around and lifted her legs and tilted her and whatnot.... Trying to read that, I'd say she was just trying to nail my nuts?

Good god, man! Stop trying to look for the nearest escape route. I am a girl. She was not trying to hurt your nuts with her ass. If you don't at the very least tell this girl how you feel, I will find you and personally slap you. (Not really, but you get the idea.)

Well I dunno I'm a very funny person (that sounds stupid) but I always disarm people with humor....I've never ever thrown a punch....so regarding a fight, I'd probably lose. I'm not small or weak though....just don't ever need to fight.
humor is the best weapon to have....

that doesnt sound like a suddle hint, dude, that's foreplay. she likes you, have you never had a girlfriend?

Yeah, got dumped like 4 weeks ago. Loss of interest. This last girlfriend though was easy as shit. Fell into my lap. This is my first challenging assignment, if you will.

Good god, man! Stop trying to look for the nearest escape route. I am a girl. She was not trying to hurt your nuts with her ass. If you don't at the very least tell this girl how you feel, I will find you and personally slap you. (Not really, but you get the idea.)
i agree, quit acting like a little kid about it and just do somthing, anything progressive in this.

Yeah, got dumped like 4 weeks ago. Loss of interest. This last girlfriend though was easy as shit. Fell into my lap. This is my first challenging assignment, if you will.
now you are starting to sound like my little brother, dont look at anything like that. that's bad. (then again he is your age)

Good god, man! Stop trying to look for the nearest escape route. I am a girl. She was not trying to hurt your nuts with her ass. If you don't at the very least tell this girl how you feel, I will find you and personally slap you. (Not really, but you get the idea.)

Well its not like I'm going to ask her right now so I figure I can explore ALLLLLLL my paranoid, crazy corners of my brain about this subject. Sure, let's assume it was not so innocent. (She DID punch me in the nuts outside after we fell into the snow when I was carrying her..) She just asked her boyfriend to a dance and told me all about it....that's definitely not a plus?

Well its not like I'm going to ask her right now so I figure I can explore ALLLLLLL my paranoid, crazy corners of my brain about this subject. Sure, let's assume it was not so innocent. (She DID punch me in the nuts outside after we fell into the snow when I was carrying her..) She just asked her boyfriend to a dance and told me all about it....that's definitely not a plus?
have you ever thought that she might be baiting you to ask?

have you ever thought that she might be baiting you to ask?

It crossed my mind...now..

then act. nothing bad can come of it.

Alright, the bouncing on lap was a bad example. Let me explain... We had just come inside from playing in the snow and I had pushed her down or something funny and to get back at me she was trying to hit me in the nuts.....so she plunked herself down on my lap a bunch of times inside infront of all her friends trying to crush my goods... I played around and lifted her legs and tilted her and whatnot.... Trying to read that, I'd say she was just trying to nail my nuts?
Grrrrrr... あなたバカ?! I mean... I mean... SKULD'S HOLY HAMMER DUDE! If a girl wants to crush your family jewls, she'll use her knees, feet, and possibly her fist. If she's using her rear, she's making a suggestion for other uses of said family jewls.

I agree, you need to go and ask this girl out or I'll join the crowd of coming by and slapping you upside the head!

And since I live in Japan that's going to be one hell of a slap!

Grrrrrr... あなたバカ?! I mean... I mean... SKULD'S HOLY HAMMER DUDE! If a girl wants to crush your family jewls, she'll use her knees, feet, and possibly her fist. If she's using her rear, she's making a suggestion for other uses of said family jewls.

I agree, you need to go and ask this girl out or I'll join the crowd of coming by and slapping you upside the head!

And since I live in Japan that's going to be one hell of a slap!

The curses in Japanese just make me feel so much more of a fool....they're fun..


Anywho, I realize what you're saying but a post down or so from that post I explain she actually DID hit me in the nuts...what about that, eh?

i was talking to my brother joey the other day and he keeps telling me that he is somthing i doubt. saying that girls in his area are too easy, you know what i say, i say it's all the better. makes for low maintnence (for that i ll most definately burn in hell). but to put it simply, nothing is too easy. unless you call them and they show up buck naked, begging you to take them. and you've never met them. that's too easy.

Well its not like I'm going to ask her right now so I figure I can explore ALLLLLLL my paranoid, crazy corners of my brain about this subject. Sure, let's assume it was not so innocent. (She DID punch me in the nuts outside after we fell into the snow when I was carrying her..) She just asked her boyfriend to a dance and told me all about it....that's definitely not a plus?

The best relationships are often with best friends. She's obviously comfortable enough to talk to you about everything and comfortable enough to fixate on your balls. Sure, she's going to talk to you about her boyfriend because he's in her life and you haven't seemed to show interest in her at least beyond friendship. I think that unless you raise the stakes she's not going to treat you like anything other than the friend.

Girls are coy. Girls flirt instead of giving direct statements about their emotions, especially in uncertain situations. Maybe the next time she brings up her boyfriend bring up ever-so "jokingly", "What would you and I ever do if we were together."

She might respond, she might not. If you're so uncomfortable with the direct approach, try subtle hints that put her in the position of revealing how she feels about you. Pay attention to what she says carefully. Watch facial expressions. These are all clues.

for the love of annasi.
perhaps a slapping chaain is in order.

She might respond, she might not. If you're so uncomfortable with the direct approach, try subtle hints that put her in the position of revealing how she feels about you. Pay attention to what she says carefully. Watch facial expressions. These are all clues.

What I wouldn't give to have all of you guys behind me....

What, for example, would be some of these "Subtle hints?"

I have some paper and pen here, heh..

Grainne may be on to somthing.

Why doesn't he get someone else to dial the number?
What?

Anywho, I realize what you're saying but a post down or so from that post I explain she actually DID hit me in the nuts...what about that, eh?
Yes, but she had already tagged you (If I read the timeline correctly). She had her revenge, she was playing and hitting you over your head (well, one of them) about what she was interested in.

She's not going to be getting any more obvious than that.

What?

He's getting Voicemails from someone he doesn't know, right. Breathing and all that. He should have someone else call that number back and figure out who it is. Likely the breather wouldn't pick up if it was the number of your friend that receives the VM's calling....make sense?

Yes, but she had already tagged you (If I read the timeline correctly). She had her revenge, she was playing and hitting you over your head (well, one of them) about what she was interested in.

She's not going to be getting any more obvious than that.

I know that the base rule is "hitting is good.." I see where you're coming from...

Let me try to dredge up any more insecurities...

Let's see..
One time I was at the mall with her and she made a comment something like "I'm glad we're just friends or otherwise..." blah blah I can't remember the rest but I logged it in my mind, obviously.

Look to see if she bites her upper lip. If she laughes at your jokes even when you know they suck. these are hints. talk to her like she is the only person in the room that matters. this usually stimulates a seriously good responce.

What I wouldn't give to have all of you guys behind me....

What, for example, would be some of these "Subtle hints?"

I have some paper and pen here, heh..

Subtle hint #1: It's too bad you have a boyfriend because I could really see us being more than friends. You're such a great person to be around!

If that's not subtle enough or you're too chicken to try it:

Subtle hint #2: I'd be lucky to have a girlfriend like you.

I'll leave room for others to come up with ideas of their own, but I have more.

Let's see..
One time I was at the mall with her and she made a comment something like "I'm glad we're just friends or otherwise..." blah blah I can't remember the rest but I logged it in my mind, obviously.
Listen not to her words, watch what she's doing. You know the old saying, actions speak louder than words? It's true.

Subtle hint #2: I'd be lucky to have a girlfriend like you.

I'll leave room for others to come up with ideas of their own, but I have more.

Oh mannn that's a good one.... Made me all mushy inside. Where's a good place to drop that bomb?

Subtle hint #1: It's too bad you have a boyfriend because I could really see us being more than friends. You're such a great person to be around!

If that's not subtle enough or you're too chicken to try it:

Subtle hint #2: I'd be lucky to have a girlfriend like you.

I'll leave room for others to come up with ideas of their own, but I have more.
that has to be the most sleeseball crap i have ever read. dont hint be blunt about it. hinting shows you have doubts about your own views.

Listen not to her words, watch what she's doing. You know the old saying, actions speak louder than words? It's true.

Anything in your opinion to look for? Zoombie had some good ones.

Oh mannn that's a good one.... Made me all mushy inside. Where's a good place to drop that bomb?

When she's bouncing on top of your nuts, haha! Just kidding, but obviously while you two are alone and in a particularly happy, close moment.

When she's bouncing on top of your nuts, haha! Just kidding, but obviously while you two are alone and in a particularly happy, close moment.

Right but that's rather blunt.. Any other places where I could sprinkle that in normal conversation and not have it come out to corner her?

that has to be the most sleeseball crap i have ever read. dont hint be blunt about it. hinting shows you have doubts about your own views.

Obviously he does have doubts and is looking for a way not to offend her because she does have a boyfriend. In a situation like that the direct approach isn't always the best. And being a woman, I would take that as flattery, not sleezeball crap.

Right but that's rather blunt.. Any other places where I could sprinkle that in normal conversation and not have it come out to corner her?
After she did something nice for you...maybe something that any friend would've done, but instead of saying "Thanks," say "Man, I'd be lucky to have a girl like you."

Obviously he does have doubts and is looking for a way not to offend her because she does have a boyfriend. In a situation like that the direct approach isn't always the best. And being a woman, I would take that as flattery, not sleezeball crap.

She's right, I'm too nice of a guy and a coward.

Anything in your opinion to look for? Zoombie had some good ones.
Licking lips, playing with hair...

In all honesty, how is she reacting to YOU! Is she touching you? Putting herself in places where she would be touched by you? Does she come into the comfort zone (meaning, when with her, does she put herself much closer to you than a friend normally would)? She she pay attention to you more than anyone else in the room? Does she talk to you about her life, more than would be socially polite?

Those signs.

here's a good idea, play around with all the sleasy come on lines you can muster up. It is important that you do this jokeingly. then proceed to nail her with somthing heartfelt perhaps sweet. then continue accordingly.

After she did something nice for you...maybe something that any friend would've done, but instead of saying "Thanks," say "Man, I'd be lucky to have a girl like you."

Good call, man.

Licking lips, playing with hair...

In all honesty, how is she reacting to YOU! Is she touching you? Putting herself in places where she would be touched by you? Does she come into the comfort zone (meaning, when with her, does she put herself much closer to you than a friend normally would)? She she pay attention to you more than anyone else in the room? Does she talk to you about her life, more than would be socially polite?

Those signs.

Damn, she does ALL of those........but why can't I shake this gut feeling that says she's not interested?!

Right but that's rather blunt.. Any other places where I could sprinkle that in normal conversation and not have it come out to corner her?

The fact of the matter is that you would be trying to corner her. I don't know all of your situations together or example of the conversations you two have. That would have to be for you to decide.

Damn, she does ALL of those........but why can't I shake this gut feeling that says she's not interested?!
How does she act when around her "boyfriend"?

She's right, I'm too nice of a guy and a coward.
Nice guys don't have to finish last, lad. *heh* Being told I am too nice is a fav pastime of my fiancee. But they do have to actually make the move.

Obviously he does have doubts and is looking for a way not to offend her because she does have a boyfriend. In a situation like that the direct approach isn't always the best. And being a woman, I would take that as flattery, not sleezeball crap.
i think you missunderstand, i belive that a more heartfelt approach is nessacary. dont use already worn lines like that. I know the situation and i feel doubt leads to ruin.

The fact of the matter is that you would be trying to corner her. I don't know all of your situations together or example of the conversations you two have. That would have to be for you to decide.

Well I'm a NICE guy. I don't ever want to ask that question so it makes her uncomfortable...I don't want her to have to feel like she has to respond to it in kind, dig?

How does she act when around her "boyfriend"?

I've seen him once. Seems like a really nice guy. (Kinda reminded me of me.) At this party was where I met him, and she just walked out with essentially 3 strangers infront of him........gauge that as you will.

Damn, she does ALL of those........but why can't I shake this gut feeling that says she's not interested?!
Then she's interested. Your fear is fear of rejection. You either move beyond that, or you don't and you miss out.

I hate to tell ya this, but there's no line that will automatically make the female heart melt into goo and allow you to do as you will with no risk. If she's REALLY interested, anything from you that she can take to bank as being real will probably get her to jump you then and there. But you got to give her SOMETHING real.

What are group are we talking about again?

you are looking at this all wrong, It isnt finely cut, It's not black and white. there is always a grey area. use that and you should come out fine. is it really so bad to be a girl's friend?

What are group are we talking about again?

Group as in....?

Quite honestly this is the least emo, most intelligent "Give me girl advice on the internet" thread I've read. Cheers.

<snippper >

Right, but here's evidence of why I get conflicted signals and hence, doubt:

My text message (after leaving party):

Hope you didn't get in trouble

Her:

with who, my boyfriend?

Me:
Yeah you said he gave you a dirty look

Her:
oh yeah i dont think he is :) and i gave him the cd

Me:
howd that go?

Her:
gooood i think and so now i have to go buy tickets and an outfit :) wooo

Me:
yay....

Well I'm a NICE guy. I don't ever want to ask that question so it makes her uncomfortable...I don't want her to have to feel like she has to respond to it in kind, dig?

See, I personally feel you should just kiss her and see where it goes from there so trying to give you advice on how to be subtle is stretching my imagination to say the very least. The examples I gave you are just to give you ideas. Zombie is right. Whatever you actually do say to her has to be heartfelt and you should be able to interpret when that right moment will be. Nobody can hold your hand or walk you through it because then it wouldn't be you.

As far as your "gut" feeling, that could just be fears playing at you. From my limited understanding of the situation all signs point to everything I used to do when I wanted a guy to show romantic interest in me. At some point in time you are going to have to either let your attraction to her be known, wait until god knows when for her to make a move or break up with said boyfriend, OR NEVER KNOW!

you are looking at this all wrong, It isnt finely cut, It's not black and white. there is always a grey area. use that and you should come out fine. is it really so bad to be a girl's friend?

No I definitely like it! But.......if there's the possibility of more.....I dunno

you are looking at this all wrong, It isnt finely cut, It's not black and white. there is always a grey area. use that and you should come out fine. is it really so bad to be a girl's friend?
It's always bad to be friends with a hot girl...but never bad to be friends with pretty girls.

That's why I'm glad I don't run into my female model friend very often...because I'm pissed that we're not dating...sorta...because she's too into the health and fitness stuff...exercise, worf...

Right, but here's evidence of why I get conflicted signals and hence, doubt:

My text message (after leaving party):

Hope you didn't get in trouble

Her:

with who, my boyfriend?

Me:
Yeah you said he gave you a dirty look

Her:
oh yeah i dont think he is :) and i gave him the cd

Me:
howd that go?

Her:
gooood i think and so now i have to go buy tickets and an outfit :) wooo

Me:
yay....

She buys her boyfriends CDs and tickets? What the hell? what's her number? I'll ask her out.

See, I personally feel you should just kiss her and see where it goes from there so trying to give you advice on how to be subtle is stretching my imagination to say the very least. The examples I gave you are just to give you ideas. Zombie is right. Whatever you actually do say to her has to be heartfelt and you should be able to interpret when that right moment will be. Nobody can hold your hand or walk you through it because then it wouldn't be you.

As far as your "gut" feeling, that could just be fears playing at you. From my limited understanding of the situation all signs point to everything I used to do when I wanted a guy to show romantic interest in me. At some point in time you are going to have to either let your attraction to her be known, wait until god knows when for her to make a move or break up with said boyfriend, OR NEVER KNOW!

I can't express my frustration/anxiety/fear/happiness? so I'll use a picture:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v345/JamesCarville/22154_avatar_bigboy2.gif

compassion in your delivery of words like the L word is fairly impossible for you at this point in the way things are going. Say things like i would like to, or it would be nice to. dont say somting desperate like "I've loved you since the day i met you and i want to be with you." this scares people...

She buys her boyfriends CDs and tickets? What the hell? what's her number? I'll ask her out.

well the CD is how she asked him to the dance...tracks spelled out the name of the dance or soemthing

compassion in your delivery of words like the L word is fairly impossible for you at this point in the way things are going. Say things like i would like to, or it would be nice to. dont say somting desperate like "I've loved you since the day i met you and i want to be with you." this scares people...
I break up with chicks who tell me they love me. Too clingy.

compassion in your delivery of words like the L word is fairly impossible for you at this point in the way things are going. Say things like i would like to, or it would be nice to. dont say somting desperate like "I've loved you since the day i met you and i want to be with you." this scares people...

Yes, it does. You just scared me. I would never do that.....that would put her in a position very very bad.

well the CD is how she asked him to the dance...tracks spelled out the name of the dance or soemthing
That's retarded.

But the tickets? Were they too a football game? Or to a good concert?

Or was it some crappy pop band?

I can't express my frustration/anxiety/fear/happiness? so I'll use a picture:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v345/JamesCarville/22154_avatar_bigboy2.gif

I hope and pray that is not you! LOL!

Yes, it does. You just scared me. I would never do that.....that would put her in a position very very bad.
you want advice, i give adice. sorry to scare you.

That's retarded.

But the tickets? Were they too a football game? Or to a good concert?

Or was it some crappy pop band?

Not really sure, didn't ask. It depressed me.

I break up with chicks who tell me they love me. Too clingy.
you think that it's a bad thing. You are wrong in that. It is one of the greatest things to feel

I hope and pray that is not you! LOL!

What if it was? Wouldn't you feel uncomfortable.. It isn't.

I'm 6'1 and aboot 160. Opposite of that thing.

let's face it, these days outer beauty is what matters to most people. sad but true.

you think that it's a bad thing. You are wrong in that. It is one of the greatest things to feel
There's a difference between hearing that many months into a relationship and...many days...into a relationship...

Okay we've pretty much boiled it completely down to the fact that I have to make the first move and I need to do it gracefully..

Now here's the second question...

How do I deel with rejection as best as possible, with no damage to either of us?

What if it was? Wouldn't you feel uncomfortable.. It isn't.

I'm 6'1 and aboot 160. Opposite of that thing.

I knew it wasn't and if it were, I would have hung my head in shame and ran off to my room crying. Or laughing. I haven't decided which.

I know this is heart-wrenching for you as I have had plenty of ponderings as to whether or not a guy liked me. Then again, they all did. I was a hot teenager, what can I say? Ahhh... how age and kids change a person, but enough of my troubles.

I'm 99.99999998% convinced she has the secret hots for you by your description of her actions, but her life isn't going to come to a complete halt and she isn't going to jump into your arms unless you make your feelings known somehow. Maybe the next time she does something overtly sexual like bouncing on her lap, tell her she shouldn't do that unless she plans on leaving her boyfriend and being with you. That might backfire, though. This is starting to give me anxiety flashbacks.

That might backfire, though. This is starting to give me anxiety flashbacks.

I know the feeling.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v345/JamesCarville/22154_avatar_bigboy2.gif

Fellas, I'm going to bed. Any more ideas please feel FREE to post them here.

I love you all for your help, some of this was by far the best advice I've received. Perhaps I'll even grow some balls and make a move tomorrow. We'll see. I'll keep ya updated if you're interested, just check back on this thread. G'night.

Okay we've pretty much boiled it completely down to the fact that I have to make the first move and I need to do it gracefully..

Now here's the second question...

How do I deel with rejection as best as possible, with no damage to either of us?

Simply put, you will hurt for a while, but never show it to her. If you are the nice guy you say you are, you will want her to be happy. If she's most happy with keeping you as a friend, keep it that way. Make sure you let her know that you're glad she was honest with you if she rejects you -I am fairly convinced she won't, though.

Ok, as a 40year old, married, man of the world, I'd like to pass on the benefit of my years of experience:

Run

Run Like Hell

Dont look back.

This girl will break your heart and when you get to my age you will still be pining for her.

Honestly.:gundge:

Next time the two of you are "wrestling", just mention in an as relaxed voice as possible that yes, you ARE male, and yes, all this close contact with a very attractive girl is causing a physical response of your body and if she would please keep that in mind.

If she is into you she'd double her efforts. Rejoice.
If not she just knows you are fully functional. Doesn't hurt ;) Downside is she will be less enthusiastic to do all that intimate stuff - but since that IS turning you on and confusing you that is not necessarily a bad thing.

How do I deel with rejection as best as possible, with no damage to either of us?
You get hurt, and you deal with it. Hate to put it that way, but that's what might happen.

Be honest and make sure you're not framing your decleration of interest as a 'Go out with me or our friendship is over!' bit. If she brushes you off, you'll be older and wiser. But, honestly, from the sound of it, even if she DOESN'T take you up on it (unlikely as that sounds) I'd say she's the type of girl who'll keep you as a close friend. And close friends are not bad things to have. Even more, you'll have the confusion worked out and will be able to consentrate on being friends instead of wondering about other things.

Besides, it might just be that you asking might get you a no now, but get her thinking to a yes later. ;)

One last bit of advice, do not wait for the perfect moment, such things never come. I asked my fiancee out for the first time after watching Monsters Inc. You'll make the right moment, so don't put it off by waiting for that perfectly romantic moment.

Good luck and let us know how it goes!

Hiya CR. It's been a while.

Just ask her how she feels about you. You might get bitten, but...better than losing sleep over it. And good luck.

Hiya CR. It's been a while.

Just ask her how she feels about you. You might get bitten, but...better than losing sleep over it. And good luck.

Indeed it has been awhile. I've been sleeping on it and I've resolved that I am even more scared to do it now than ever....-sigh- Beer would help in this case, but the results are never as good as they could be.

Okay we've pretty much boiled it completely down to the fact that I have to make the first move and I need to do it gracefully..

Now here's the second question...

How do I deel with rejection as best as possible, with no damage to either of us? Forget the whole relationship thing. I would like to cite Foamy from the Ill Will Press:
"Dear Hopeless Romantic: I don't have a girlfriend because I don't feel the need to validate my own existence through the existence of somebody else."

EDIT: I made the decision not to ask someone out a while back, and I feel alot better now and calmer around them.

Forget the whole relationship thing. I would like to cite Foamy from the Ill Will Press:
"Dear Hopeless Romantic: I don't have a girlfriend because I don't feel the need to validate my own existence through the existence of somebody else."

EDIT: I made the decision not to ask someone out a while back, and I feel alot better now and calmer around them.

Eh. That's what I'm thinking............what if I DO ask her out and she accepts....but then it just kinda falls apart? We'll never have what we had..

Okay, here's another reason I doubt the feeling could be mutual. For example, right now....we're both on AIM, right? If I IM'd her and started talking to her she'd be talking to me until she got bored.....but as it stands neither of us has talked to the other...and she hardly ever initiates convo either..... I'm thinking it isn't mutual?

Okay, here's another reason I doubt the feeling could be mutual. For example, right now....we're both on AIM, right? If I IM'd her and started talking to her she'd be talking to me until she got bored.....but as it stands neither of us has talked to the other...and she hardly ever initiates convo either..... I'm thinking it isn't mutual?
*sighs* Ok, we've talked ya through this enough times. Once again, and for the last time, there's no way to know till you ask her. Now, if you keep thinking about it, you'll find many signs and hints enough to persuade you to not do anything.

This is not wisdom, but waffling.

This is the point where you have to make a decision, do, or do not. Either you persue her, or you decide not to. Hanging around and waiting for the perfect, unmistakable sign, isn't going to happen.

Good luck, BUT MAKE YOUR CHOICE!

Any advice?
Yeah.

Relax.

Don't try to change yourself. That will come off as phony.

Don't try to "make" her love you.

Don't try to "make" yourself love her.

Let things transpire at their own pace.

Relax.

:)

Okay, here's another reason I doubt the feeling could be mutual. For example, right now....we're both on AIM, right? If I IM'd her and started talking to her she'd be talking to me until she got bored.....but as it stands neither of us has talked to the other...and she hardly ever initiates convo either..... I'm thinking it isn't mutual?

She could be thinking the same thing about you, though.

I've had that before. AIM/MSN is cruddy for it. You get all sorts of wrong signals.

Yeah.

Relax.

Don't try to change yourself. That will come off as phony.

Don't try to "make" her love you.

Don't try to "make" yourself love her.

Let things transpire at their own pace.

Relax.

:)
Yes! Listen you should to the old man. Much experince in chaseing women he has.

Stop watching Star Wars I should, yes... ;)

She's really a man. You should lube your arse up and prepare for the night of your life.

~Dr Rotovia

Eh. That's what I'm thinking............what if I DO ask her out and she accepts....but then it just kinda falls apart? We'll never have what we had..Look, pre-emptively worrying about the breakdown of a relationship that hasn't even started is a very bad idea. Generally, ending, or avoiding things now for fear of what could possibly happen is a bad plan in relationships.

It seems to me that she's just playing around, really. I don't think she would be this comfortable being ambiguous if she was really into you - but then, that's just as likely your insecurity coming through in the descriptions. Like everyone is saying, you shoud just get to know her, and go for it.

If you care enough about each other as people, and trully appreciate each other, you'll be able to handle it whatever the outcome, and stay on good terms.