NationStates Jolt Archive

I was typing up something today and had to use the word "answer". I looked at it and tried to pronounce it like it was spelled. Utterly ridiculous the English language is.

Personally, I think my Ahnold pronunciation of the word does it justice --

Anhz - ver

So, if you've come across any common English words that look stupid, post 'em here!

I'm not sure about words looking stupid, but I can give you a few that many people I have known have botched the pronunciation so badly that it causes me to cringe:

sword
phlegm
sphygmomanometer

actually, I'm still waiting to find someone outside of the medical profession that can pronounce sphygmomanometer.

Onomatopoeia. I'm amazed that I spelled that right the first time.

Also, it's not really stupid looking or anything, but foible is definitely one of the funniest words in the English language. Also spatula.

I'm not sure about words looking stupid, but I can give you a few that many people I have known have botched the pronunciation so badly that it causes me to cringe:

sword
phlegm
sphygmomanometer

actually, I'm still waiting to find someone outside of the medical profession that can pronounce sphygmomanometer.

I can.They came up briefly in biology.For those of you that dont know a sphygmomanometer is what doctors use to measure blood pressure.

that can pronounce sphygmomanometer.

Well I just tried...............failed abysmaly (spelling?)

Good Luck

Natichotches - a town in central Louisiana.

Nacogdoches - a town in East Texas not far from Natichotches, LA.

I can.They came up briefly in biology.For those of you that dont know a sphygmomanometer is what doctors use to measure blood pressure.

Is it pronounced something like: sfig-moe-man-o-meter? Or maybe the start is more like 'sfie-g' with a 'why' sort of sound. Man I'm horrible at writing pronunciations.

Usually, stupid spellings can be blamed on your ancestors and their lazy pronounciation. Shame on those ancestors!

actually, I'm still waiting to find someone outside of the medical profession that can pronounce sphygmomanometer.
SFIG-muh-MAN-uh-mee-ter?

Edit: ... Or sfig-MAH-muh-ter... I don't know why, but it sounds right.

SFIG-muh-MAN-uh-mee-ter?

Edit: ... Or sfig-MAH-muh-ter... I don't know why, but it sounds right.
You're all wrong!!!! It's pronounced:

sum-reel-ee ha-are-d wor-duh tha-ta eye doen-ta no ha-ow too sae

Green. Burger. Antique. Anecdote.

skeet-shooting
faggot
crab
gay

Llama... always makes me giggle...

Llama... always makes me giggle...

giggle makes me giggle :p

Llama... always makes me giggle...

There's a llama farm near my house. They let the llama's out every morning when I go to school.

Floccinocciphilipication

Vegetable. Or keeping it simple: iron.

scissors

It's fun to say it how it's spelled.

diphthong
ought
warbler

the
read
xylophone

Squabble
Artichoke
Pizzaz
Quaff

Queue

sphyg·mom·e·ter there, right off of dictionary.com...lol

Awkward. They're not joking either! ;)

I haven't even heard half of these words!

I'm not sure about words looking stupid, but I can give you a few that many people I have known have botched the pronunciation so badly that it causes me to cringe:

sword
phlegm
sphygmomanometer

actually, I'm still waiting to find someone outside of the medical profession that can pronounce sphygmomanometer.I qualify. O:·)

Well I just tried...............failed abysmaly (spelling?)

Good LuckAbysmally.

Natichotches - a town in central Louisiana.

Nacogdoches - a town in East Texas not far from Natichotches, LA.I think that's spelled Natchitoches, isn't it?

FloccinocciphilipicationThat's spelled floccinaucinihilipilification ;-)

sphyg·mom·e·ter there, right off of dictionary.com...lolNo, that's a different word. This is sphyg•mo•ma•nom•e•ter, pronounced approximately "sfig-moh-muh-NAHM-uh-tuhr."

sphyg·mom·e·ter there, right off of dictionary.com...lol

That's the alternate spelling. Notice it misses out a couple of the syllables.

Here's the fully-syllabled version:
http://www.answers.com/sphygmomanometer&r=67

I have a couple meself:

tofurkey: noun- tofu that is treated to take the shape of a turkey for vegetarians who love thanksgiving

defenestration: verb- to be tossed out of a window

confabulation: noun- psychology term in which a person fabricates or creates memories that may/may not have actually existed

I'm not sure about words looking stupid, but I can give you a few that many people I have known have botched the pronunciation so badly that it causes me to cringe:

sword
phlegm
sphygmomanometer

actually, I'm still waiting to find someone outside of the medical profession that can pronounce sphygmomanometer.

sfig-moe-man-aw-mu-der

I have a couple meself:

tofurkey: noun- tofu that is treated to take the shape of a turkey for vegetarians who love thanksgiving

defenestration: verb- to be tossed out of a window

confabulation: noun- psychology term in which a person fabricates or creates memories that may/may not have actually existed

It's official: I'm adopting defenestrate as my favorite word.:D

Simply because it's so obscure, I'm sure if I asked someone "Do you want me to defenestrate you?" they would think I just threatened to sodomize them.

I have a couple meself:

tofurkey: noun- tofu that is treated to take the shape of a turkey for vegetarians who love thanksgiving

defenestration: verb- to be tossed out of a window

confabulation: noun- psychology term in which a person fabricates or creates memories that may/may not have actually existed

Turducken: noun- a thanksgiving centerpiece that involves a deboned turkey stuffed with a deboned chicken stuffed with a deboned duck stuffed with stuffing. no, seriously. it costs $80. really.

oooh, oooh, the dumbest word in the english language: disgruntled! have you ever seen anyone in a good or even average mood respond to "how are you" with " Gruntled, you? "

case. point. match.

Viscid

Simply because it's so obscure, I'm sure if I asked someone "Do you want me to defenestrate you?" they would think I just threatened to sodomize them.

Huh? It's obvious what the word means. "De" for "out of" and "fenestrate" from "fenestra/fenêtre" meaning window. Its usage may be obscure, but definitely not its meaning.

I can make a turdurken. The raw materials cost much less than $80, and it's not even hard.

oooh, oooh, the dumbest word in the english language: disgruntled! have you ever seen anyone in a good or even average mood respond to "how are you" with " Gruntled, you? "

case. point. match.

I love it. I will so answer that question with Gruntled from now on. That, is awesome!

geranium pneumonia alpaca mastadon

Natichotches - a town in central Louisiana.

Nacogdoches - a town in East Texas not far from Natichotches, LA.
Place names oughtn't count. For some reason, English-speaking people give places names that don't mean anything in English. It gets to the point that place names consisting of English words sound ridiculous to us. For example:

Carrot River, Old Wives Lake, Climax, Moose Jaw.

These are the names of real places in my province. Yet no one snickers at the name La Ronge, even though there hasn't been a Frenchman up that way for three hundred years.

Turducken: noun- a thanksgiving centerpiece that involves a deboned turkey stuffed with a deboned chicken stuffed with a deboned duck stuffed with stuffing. no, seriously. it costs $80. really.

That's disgusting.

"Gawp."

What kind of word is "gawp?"

In America, we don't use that, that makes no sense.

That's right, we use "gawk."

This is less well known than it ought to be, because its wonderful:

In english, "fish" could reasonably be spelled "ghoti"

take the 'gh' from 'enough
the 'o' from 'women'
and the 'ti' from 'nation'

Put them together and you get 'ghoti.' Rhymes with 'dish.'

What really bothers me is that English has so many good words. I find myself saying "what's that word in swedish?" all the time!

Decapitate is a bit stupid though. So clinical. In swedish it's called something like "neckchop" :D

Dole bludger.

sesquipedalian - a word that's a foot and a half long
sesquipedalophobia - fear of long words
hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - same as above but with a couple add ons to induce the fear it describes. Imagine:
Doctor: "I hate to say this, but you have hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia."
Patient: *faint*

clumphimg-it's what you do when tap the base of bunch of pages to get them even
plump and wasps are also good words

What really bothers me is that English has so many good words. I find myself saying "what's that word in swedish?" all the time!

Decapitate is a bit stupid though. So clinical. In swedish it's called something like "neckchop" :D
I'm at a loss of words much of the time. I long for meaningless help verbs, and adverbs, and *breaks down and cries*

Grok it brother,sister or alien being, grok it

Nice thread!
I once found succeeding post in the letters section of
genesimmons.com I think it fits perfectly into this thread :D


QUOTE

THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE!


Thought you may get a kick out of this.

THIS IS A GOOD EXPLANATION OF WHY SOME FOREIGNERS CAN'T SPEAK ENGLISH--AND WHY SOME ENGLISHMEN CAN'T EITHER!!

THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE!

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;
yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,
and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
but though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

*****
Some reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
22) I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.

Screwy pronunciations can mess up your mind! For example...
If you have a rough cough, climbing can be tough when going through the bough on a tree!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England. We take English for granted.

But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wiseguy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

If Dad is Pop, how's come Mom isn't Mop?

*****

And my addition would be that Parkways are for driving and Driveways are for parking.
/QUOTE

If it's just strange pronunciation you are after
Dearest creature in creation,
Studying English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
It will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Pray console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Made has not the sound of bade,
Say - said, pay - paid, laid, but plaid.
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

More here: http://www.mipmip.dsl.pipex.com/tidbits/pronunciation.shtml

oxymoron

If it's just strange pronunciation you are after


More here: http://www.mipmip.dsl.pipex.com/tidbits/pronunciation.shtml
Thanks for the link :)

I don't know why, but I love that kind of stuff :p
I also get a kick out of things like that:

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
- English well talking.
- Here speeching American.

I'm at a loss of words much of the time. I long for meaningless help verbs, and adverbs, and *breaks down and cries*
So, so...
Listen to Timbuktu..."Det löser saj!"

Write "caoutchouc", pronounce "rubber"

... and speak Aymara, like everyone.

(Taqpach jaqejh khuskat uñjatatäpjhewa munañapansa, lurañapansa, amuyasiñapansa, ukatwa jilani sullkanípjhaspas ukham uñjasipjhañapawa!)

;)

Orogeny

This is less well known than it ought to be, because its wonderful:

In english, "fish" could reasonably be spelled "ghoti"

take the 'gh' from 'enough
the 'o' from 'women'
and the 'ti' from 'nation'

Put them together and you get 'ghoti.' Rhymes with 'dish.'

Only if you pronounce 'women' like 'wimmin'. I pronounce it with a 'wou' like in 'would'. And none of those other ones are be pronounced that way out of context. What turns 'ti' to an sh sound is the 'on' at the end. :p

Yes, yes, I'm being a party pooper.

I always thought melancholy sounded like a happy word.

Only if you pronounce 'women' like 'wimmin'. I pronounce it with a 'wou' like in 'would'. And none of those other ones are be pronounced that way out of context. What turns 'ti' to an sh sound is the 'on' at the end. :p

Yes, yes, I'm being a party pooper.

Where in the world do they pronounce "women" as "woumen"?

What really bothers me is that English has so many good words. I find myself saying "what's that word in swedish?" all the time!

Decapitate is a bit stupid though. So clinical. In swedish it's called something like "neckchop" :D

Somewhat like "behead" then?

Only if you pronounce 'women' like 'wimmin'. I pronounce it with a 'wou' like in 'would'. And none of those other ones are be pronounced that way out of context. What turns 'ti' to an sh sound is the 'on' at the end. :p

Yes, yes, I'm being a party pooper.

And clearly an inarticulate one at that

OH, you want my favourite word? I see. "Willy" is rather amusing, as is "poo".
I love saying "toodal oo" but I've never been sure how to spell it.

OH, you want my favourite word? I see. "Willy" is rather amusing, as is "poo".
I love saying "toodal oo" but I've never been sure how to spell it.

Toodeloo?

Toodeloo?
It's toodle-oo apparently - physically existent dictionaries rock. From French "à toute à l'heure" - "see you later".

Lisp.

Think about it. Is there any word more cruel? A person who has one can't say it.

Intransigent

A favoured term of mine

has anyone mentioned "wednesday"?

that one always screwed me up, and now that my kid is learning to read (by sounding stuff out) it occurs to me that it is just screwed up in general.

we say "wensday" not "wednesday":rolleyes:

kumquat,
platypus,

And in the same spirit as "disgruntled",

uncouth.

"Fine"

Joe was in court charged with parking his car
in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he
had anything to say in his defense.

"They should not put up such misleading notices,"
said Joe.

"It said, FINE FOR PARKING HERE."

Here's another fun English word: colonel.

In the grand brilliance of the English language, we got this word from two different languages. On the one hand, Italians spelt it "colonello" and pronounced it accordingly. On the other hand, by the time the word had gone through the French, it was pronounced and spelled differently (coronel).

Around the 16th century, the French form of the word arived in English. However, round about that same time, there was a push for a return to "the classics," wherein they tried to revive the Italian spelling (along with all things Latin-esque). The result of all this befuddlement was the logical decision to use the Italian spelling and the French pronunciation.

And that, my children, is why it is spelt "colonel" and pronounced "ker-nel."

It might have already been mentioned, but I have always been a fan of the word Discombobulated.

I mean look at it! Such a funny word.

Usually, stupid spellings can be blamed on your ancestors and their lazy pronounciation. Shame on those ancestors!
Don't blame our ancestors, they spelt everything the way they said it. Blame the writers of the dictionary. Before the dictionary, no one worried about spelling. People would spell the same word several ways in the same letter. They would even spell their own name several ways. The problem became, the dictionary didn't adapt to the changing language. As the way we say words changed, people who got hung up on spelling demanded that spelling stay the same. So we simply outgrew the dictionary spelling, because we were too hung up in tradition to change.

Remember that the King James Bible was written in the language of the common person.

Natichotches - a town in central Louisiana.

Nacogdoches - a town in East Texas not far from Natichotches, LA.
Erm... It's "Natchitoches" for the first one. I used to live there.

Smock. I just don't like that word.

Why isn't the word "phoneticaly" spelt phoneticaly?

Why isn't the word "phoneticaly" spelt phoneticaly?

Wouldn't it be something like fonetiklee?

Wouldn't it be something like fonetiklee?

Yess, Iym shyurr thatt it wdd beey, butt then it wud alsowe beey farr mour kompleekayted to lerrn.

Tag

Thiss iz farr mour eesseyer too spell. Itz lyke speeyking Rushyan.

Monger. One who mongs? Sadly not. That would be great. Since one can "mong around" one would think that that would make one a "monger".

But in fact you have to sell iron or fish. *sigh*

Amuck.

Have you ever seen amuck? What does amuck look like? Amuck! Amuck! Amuck! (Sorry, Hocus Pocus).

Leht uhs ale speel wheth fonetiks. Et r so EZ! :p

Dis iz phun! Dot yeer i när du döda!

Place names oughtn't count. For some reason, English-speaking people give places names that don't mean anything in English. It gets to the point that place names consisting of English words sound ridiculous to us. For example:

Carrot River, Old Wives Lake, Climax, Moose Jaw.

These are the names of real places in my province. Yet no one snickers at the name La Ronge, even though there hasn't been a Frenchman up that way for three hundred years.

Your from Saskatchewan!!!!
I'm originally from there. I heard that Climax has a sign when you leave that says now leaving climax thanks for coming:D

Your from Saskatchewan!!!!
I'm originally from there. I heard that Climax has a sign when you leave that says now leaving climax thanks for coming:D

lol, I'm so dense. I took about 5 minutes to get that. My mind is too pure.

The town of Peculiar MO US has a sign that says, "Where The Odds Are With You"

not so much funny words but I can never hear/say them without my mind wandering.

Seepage
Discharge

You're all wrong!!!! It's pronounced:

sum-reel-ee ha-are-d wor-duh tha-ta eye doen-ta no ha-ow too sae

Don't be stupid. It's pronounced BLUD-PRESH-ur-CUF.

Or maybe SFIG·mo·muh·NOM·uh·ter

Don't blame our ancestors, they spelt everything the way they said it. Blame the writers of the dictionary. Before the dictionary, no one worried about spelling. People would spell the same word several ways in the same letter. They would even spell their own name several ways. The problem became, the dictionary didn't adapt to the changing language. As the way we say words changed, people who got hung up on spelling demanded that spelling stay the same. So we simply outgrew the dictionary spelling, because we were too hung up in tradition to change.

If we didn't have one spelling for each word how would a guy form Jersey understand a guy from Texas? If you think of a guy from New Orleans and a guy from the Australian outback things start to get really messy.

From a British (probably English) site:


# When are you guys gonna learn to spell ?

This grievance comes from those who aren't aware that British and American spellings sometimes differ.

We've been at the centre of some rancour, but we're not going to take offence or harbour any grievances. The catalogue of complaints won't colour this organisation's programme. It's a grey area anyway. And we don't want to labour the point.

oooh, oooh, the dumbest word in the english language: disgruntled! have you ever seen anyone in a good or even average mood respond to "how are you" with " Gruntled, you? "

case. point. match.
I love it. I will so answer that question with Gruntled from now on. That, is awesome!

That's one of those stupid ones I hate.

If you said you were gruntled to someone who actually knew what the word means would probably say they were sorry to hear you were so grumbly.

disgruntle 1682, from dis- "entirely, very" + obs. gruntle "to grumble," frequentative of grunt (q.v.).
http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=disgruntle

Usually, the prefix dis- implies a loss of something, as in disease, disgust and disgrace. Very occasionally, as here, it means "entirely" or "very". So disgruntled means something like "extremely gruntled ". So, what does gruntle mean? It is a variant of the word grunt with the obsolete meaning of "grumble". The word appeared sometime around 1680 but was originally a transitive verb meaning "to give [someone] extreme cause to grumble". Incidentally, a word formed by lengthening another (like gruntle from grunt) is called a frequentative form of the earlier word.
http://www.takeourword.com/Issue010.html

I would have thought the gruntled came from the noise of a contented pig.

I find most English words ridiculous to some extent. In fact, English sounds funny. So does ridiculous. And extent.

Following on from Disgruntled... Ruthless. What's Ruth?

There's a llama farm near my house. They let the llama's out every morning when I go to school.

Why? Are they afraid to let them out before you go to school? What are you doing to these poor llamas?

If we didn't have one spelling for each word how would a guy form Jersey understand a guy from Texas? If you think of a guy from New Orleans and a guy from the Australian outback things start to get really messy.

From a British (probably English) site:
Originally Posted by http://www.digitalronin.f2s.com/politicalcompass/faq.php#spell
# When are you guys gonna learn to spell ?

This grievance comes from those who aren't aware that British and American spellings sometimes differ.

We've been at the centre of some rancour, but we're not going to take offence or harbour any grievances. The catalogue of complaints won't colour this organisation's programme. It's a grey area anyway. And we don't want to labour the point.

Your Quote answers your question. We can read and understand British English so why couldn't we understand Texan Engish or Jersy English or Ausie English if it were written as it is spoke? Spelling has little to do with understanding. Vocal English varies and we understand, why not written? Spelling is just tradition forced on us by those who want to find something to critisize. It's just like people who read etiquette books only read them so they can tell others what others are doing wrong--not so the reader will know what to do.

"Dwarf"

so dirty...

and some crazy sentances...

"Doctor, the bear stripped me bare, and gave me bare scratches." "Bear with us."

aaarhgrggrhagrh

English...*sigh*

Following on from Disgruntled... Ruthless. What's Ruth?

It's not from "ruth", but "reuthe". :)

c.1327, from reuthe "pity, compassion" (c.1175), formed from reuwen "to rue" (see rue (v.)) on the model of true/truth, etc. Ruthful (c.1225) has fallen from use since late 17c. except as a deliberate archaism.
http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=ruthless

Your Quote answers your question. We can read and understand British English so why couldn't we understand Texan Engish or Jersy English or Ausie English if it were written as it is spoke?

There is a lot different in having practically no differences (I mean, what are a few "u"s here and there, and the ocassion "z" instead of an "s"?), to effectively having completely different dictionaries.

Mark Twain and many others wrote in dialect. No problem reading them.

Worcestershire Sauce.
Also known as the condiment of "phonetical spelling is for sissies".

I know a lot of English peops that cant pronounce Bicester (granted most of them under 30,*mutters under breath something about te useless national curriculum* )