NationStates Jolt Archive

COMMENTARY: Ever use one of those paid dating sites? Ever wish you could get your money back? These gals did. Hehehe! :D


Seeks Love and a Guarantee (http://www.nytimes.com/2005/11/26/opinion/26sat4.html?th&emc=th)


Published: November 26, 2005
It almost seems a conspiracy against singles that the holidays come as days get shorter and nights longer, so very much longer. For those who find themselves singing the lyric "One is the loneliest number," nature should by all rights come to the rescue. But sometimes prodding is in order. And so singles try dating services that dangle a chance for happiness, at a price.

One, Great Expectations, said that in its three decades of business, it has introduced 20,000 couples who married. No doubt that claim helped sign up two Manhattan women, who recently won a judgment for a refund from the company. The women said they had paid thousands of dollars but did not meet one suitable bachelor. As part of its defense, the company, which says it plans to appeal the decision, maintained it is not a matchmaker but a dating facilitator.

Mixing cold business with matters of the heart has always been tricky. Really, it was only a matter of time before the lonely and disgruntled began to demand satisfaction guaranteed. From Maryland to Kansas to California, clients have turned on fee-charging companies that have sometimes failed to live up to their great expectations. If people are coming forward with complaints now, it's because online personal ads and brokered encounters have lost some of the whiff of desperation they once carried. There are sites catering to people by interests, alma maters, sexual lifestyle, ethnicity and race.

The two Manhattan women, who used pseudonyms in their lawsuits, were reported to be in their 40's, attractive, intelligent, well spoken and still without partners. We cannot help thinking that men in similar situations would use their real names, go on "Oprah" and get a mountain of marriage proposals. Alas, no one has come up with a Web site to make life fair.

do you ever see those eharmony.com ads on the tv? they all but promise you that theyll find you a freaking soulmate.

such promises are so extreme that i think people SHOULD sue these bastards for over representing what is possible with a limited user base in a medium known for lying.

I guess Match.com is being sued by a guy who claims that the company sent one of their female employees as "date-bait" to encourage him to remain a member.

Isn't it their own fault for having high standards?

Isn't it their own fault for having high standards?
sure it is. I lowered my standards considerably before I met my husband.

I decided I only really needed 3 things

1 someone who was smarter than me
2 someone not addicted to drugs
3 someone with a job and a penis.


worked out great.:D

do you ever see those eharmony.com ads on the tv? they all but promise you that theyll find you a freaking soulmate.

such promises are so extreme that i think people SHOULD sue these bastards for over representing what is possible with a limited user base in a medium known for lying.
Oh yes. I've not only seen them, but I tried that one for a mercifully brief period. They suck! :p

sure it is. I lowered my standards considerably before I met my husband.

I decided I only really needed 3 things

1 someone who was smarter than me
2 someone not addicted to drugs
3 someone with a job and a penis.


worked out great.:D
ROFLMAO! Gettin' right down the where the rubber meets the road, ain't ya! LOL! :D

ROFLMAO! Gettin' right down the where the rubber meets the road, ain't ya! LOL! :D
for the record, my husband is more than I ever could have hoped for, but by coming up with a few pre-requisites, I filtered out a lot of crap, and saved a lot of time, time better spent with my hubby;)

Oh yes. I've not only seen them, but I tried that one for a mercifully brief period. They suck! :p
im married so i never tried them but i am very curious as to their extensive survey and 21 levels of compatibility

did you think that their forms were so extensive that it precluded the possiblity of lying about who and what you are?

sure it is. I lowered my standards considerably before I met my husband.

I decided I only really needed 3 things

1 someone who was smarter than me
2 someone not addicted to drugs
3 someone with a job and a penis.


worked out great.:D
thats a great start. but it does leave quite a few candidates. surely you must have had a few other criteria to narrow it down further?

he didnt have to be a christian??

im married so i never tried them but i am very curious as to their extensive survey and 21 levels of compatibility

did you think that their forms were so extensive that it precluded the possiblity of lying about who and what you are?
ROFLMAO! Um ... have you quit beating your husband yet? :p

I never lied in the first place. That makes absolutely no sense if you're at all interested in a long-term relationship. Starting any relationship by basing it on a lie can only lead to grief.

thats a great start. but it does leave quite a few candidates. surely you must have had a few other criteria to narrow it down further?


not as many as you think, being that the first rule was that they had to be smarter than me ;)

Those were my first date rules, after the first date I had more rules, I had sorta a checklist in my head, deducting points as the date went along, most of the guys didn't survive past apetizers. :p In fact some of them didn't even get to finish the date, I walked out on about 3 dates. (they were unbelievably bad)

not as many as you think, being that the first rule was that they had to be smarter than me ;)

Those were my first date rules, after the first date I had more rules, I had sorta a checklist in my head, deducting points as the date went along, most of the guys didn't survive past apetizers. :p In fact some of them didn't even get to finish the date, I walked out on about 3 dates. (they were unbelievably bad)

Why did they have to be smarter than you?

not as many as you think, being that the first rule was that they had to be smarter than me ;)

Those were my first date rules, after the first date I had more rules, I had sorta a checklist in my head, deducting points as the date went along, most of the guys didn't survive past apetizers. :p In fact some of them didn't even get to finish the date, I walked out on about 3 dates. (they were unbelievably bad)
Forrest sings: "Oh, lookin' for love in all the wrong places." :D

ROFLMAO! Um ... have you quit beating your husband yet? :p

I never lied in the first place. That makes absolutely no sense if you're at all interested in a long-term relationship. Starting any relationship by basing it on a lie can only lead to grief.
oh i didnt mean to suggest that you would lie.

its just that every time i see that ad, i think about the liars i have met on the net and wonder just what makes eharmony think that they are immune from being lied to.

oh i didnt mean to suggest that you would lie.

its just that every time i see that ad, i think about the liars i have met on the net and wonder just what makes eharmony think that they are immune from being lied to.
They're not. They just have the questions cross-referenced so that it's less likely someone would be able to get away with lying.

Why did they have to be smarter than you?
I was in need of intelligent conversation, I was tired of being around people who were less intelligent than me, I figured if I found someone who was smarter than me, that it would be more interesting.

I was in need of intelligent conversation, I was tired of being around people who were less intelligent than me, I figured if I found someone who was smarter than me, that it would be more interesting.
I find it fascinating that you had so much trouble doing so! :D

not as many as you think, being that the first rule was that they had to be smarter than me ;)

Those were my first date rules, after the first date I had more rules, I had sorta a checklist in my head, deducting points as the date went along, most of the guys didn't survive past apetizers. :p In fact some of them didn't even get to finish the date, I walked out on about 3 dates. (they were unbelievably bad)
thats a good system. that way you dont date utter losers and you dont automatically rule out men that might turn out to be great if you gave them a chance

as long as you dont mind walking out on dates.

Forrest sings: "Oh, lookin' for love in all the wrong places." :D
I wasn't so much 'looking for love' as I was looking for someone worth my time and energy, I figured if I found someone worthwhile that the "love" would work itself out.

thats a good system. that way you dont date utter losers and you dont automatically rule out men that might turn out to be great if you gave them a chance

as long as you dont mind walking out on dates.
Never had that happen to me in over 45 years of dating! I have NO idea how I would have acted should that have occured. Heh!

I wasn't so much 'looking for love' as I was looking for someone worth my time and energy, I figured if I found someone worthwhile that the "love" would work itself out.
I was jus' messin' wid ya, hon. :fluffle:

thats a good system. that way you dont date utter losers and you dont automatically rule out men that might turn out to be great if you gave them a chance

as long as you dont mind walking out on dates.
I got what I wanted. I had a specific list of things that I would not put up with, if my date was displaying those "qualities" then they weren't worth my time.

such as the guy who took me to a steak house (I was vegan) and then ordered his steak rare, and made jokes about eating animals while they were still alive ( rude, insensitive, mean, bad sense of humor, lack of respect for my feelings) yeah I walked out on that date.

and the guy who slammed my hand in his car door and then blamed me and called me a 'stupid bitch', yeah I didn't hang around to see if they were going to get better

people don't change, 99% of the time the first impression is them being on thier best behavior, and if you can't stand them then, why wait for the 'real them'?

I was jus' messin' wid ya, hon. :fluffle:
yeah.;)

Never had that happen to me in over 45 years of dating! I have NO idea how I would have acted should that have occured. Heh!
I doubt that you would do anything that would make a woman want to walk out on a date, you remind me a lot of my husband sometimes. ;)

I got what I wanted. I had a specific list of things that I would not put up with, if my date was displaying those "qualities" then they weren't worth my time.

such as the guy who took me to a steak house (I was vegan) and then ordered his steak rare, and made jokes about eating animals while they were still alive ( rude, insensitive, mean, bad sense of humor, lack of respect for my feelings) yeah I walked out on that date.

and the guy who slammed my hand in his car door and then blamed me and called me a 'stupid bitch', yeah I didn't hang around to see if they were going to get better

people don't change, 99% of the time the first impression is them being on thier best behavior, and if you can't stand them then, why wait for the 'real them'?
OUCH! :(

It's like I use to tell my daughters ( and now my grand-daughters ): on a date, that's the best you'll ever see them. If there's anything that bothers you, drop 'em 'cause it's only going to get worse! Heh!

I doubt that you would do anything that would make a woman want to walk out on a date, you remind me a lot of my husband sometimes. ;)
Awww! [ blushes furiously ]

Thank you! I do believe that's one of the nicest compliments I have ever had! :fluffle:

I got what I wanted. I had a specific list of things that I would not put up with, if my date was displaying those "qualities" then they weren't worth my time.

such as the guy who took me to a steak house (I was vegan) and then ordered his steak rare, and made jokes about eating animals while they were still alive ( rude, insensitive, mean, bad sense of humor, lack of respect for my feelings) yeah I walked out on that date.

and the guy who slammed my hand in his car door and then blamed me and called me a 'stupid bitch', yeah I didn't hang around to see if they were going to get better

people don't change, 99% of the time the first impression is them being on thier best behavior, and if you can't stand them then, why wait for the 'real them'?
i tell people that "all the time"

s/he will never treat you better than s/he does right now. if its not good enough now, its not gonna be better down the road so cut your losses and move on.

you would have been a fool to stay on those 2 dates. it wasnt going to be worth the price of dinner.

i tell people that "all the time"

s/he will never treat you better than s/he does right now. if its not good enough now, its not gonna be better down the road so cut your losses and move on.

you would have been a fool to stay on those 2 dates. it wasnt going to be worth the price of dinner.
Good advice, legs! :)

I"ve been on dating sites, but i've never sent any money, cuz I hate doing that! :mad: :gundge:

Fortunately, there are still a few free ones, like okcupid.com and plentyoffish.com.

BUT I HAVE NOT HAD A SINGLE HIT AT ALL GODDAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

I"ve been on dating sites, but i've never sent any money, cuz I hate doing that! :mad: :gundge:

Fortunately, there are still a few free ones, like okcupid.com and plentyoffish.com.

BUT I HAVE NOT HAD A SINGLE HIT AT ALL GODDAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
how does that work? do you have to wait until the puter matches you with someone or do they have to find you?

how does that work? do you have to wait until the puter matches you with someone or do they have to find you?
I don't HAVE to wait, per se, but some DO have matchmaking capabilities, and other people CAN find me.

I'm just sick and fucking tired of waiting. I have dating profiles on free dating sites across the internet (namely, okcupid and plentyoffish), and I don't have a SINGLE FUCKING EMAIL AT ANY ONE OF THEM!!!! :mad:

I know the reason why a lot of me and my friend go on okcupid is for the quizzes, we don't care about finding people. That might be one of the reasons.

I don't HAVE to wait, per se, but some DO have matchmaking capabilities, and other people CAN find me.

I'm just sick and fucking tired of waiting. I have dating profiles on free dating sites across the internet (namely, okcupid and plentyoffish), and I don't have a SINGLE FUCKING EMAIL AT ANY ONE OF THEM!!!! :mad:
do you have a profile on those sites? if so, maybe you should update them.

depending on how seriously you are wanting to find someone, you could set up your own homepage and market the heck out of it.:D

360.yahoo.com (http://360.yahoo.com) isn't a singles site, but there seem to be a lot of people looking, I have to send out about 15 emails a day that say IM MARRIED LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!! :p

do you have a profile on those sites? if so, maybe you should update them.

depending on how seriously you are wanting to find someone, you could set up your own homepage and market the heck out of it.:D

360.yahoo.com (http://360.yahoo.com) isn't a singles site, but there seem to be a lot of people looking, I have to send out about 15 emails a day that say IM MARRIED LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!! :p
why update? I'm on plenty of fish every other day to see if i've got any emails, and to post a few in their forums.

why update? I'm on plenty of fish every other day to see if i've got any emails, and to post a few in their forums.
some people go profile fishing, it is the first look they have at you, if they don't see anything interesting they move on. I think my profile on 360 interests a lot of people and that is why I get so many emails. (to be fair though my hubby has introduced me to a lot of stuff since we have been together that probably made me more "guy friendly" like movies I like now, and books I read)

I see.