NationStates Jolt Archive

I was worried I would not get into heaven when I die, but standing next to these people, im going to get into heaven for sure!

Tell 'em[God and Jesus] to go get a life.
he's[Jesus] not the son of god
Minuta] No god, ever, never!
I don't see any evidence that there is a god, just like I don't see evidence of dragons or unicorns. I don't believe in dragons or in unicorns, although I find them to be less fantastic that the idea of a god.

Yeah. But there are also people who are much more saintly than you. Perhaps you'll be thrown into purgatory or be let free to haunt a house or something.

im going to get into heaven for sure!
Well, you would, if it existed.

Purgatory, is just like earth... only you're dead!

Purgatory, is just like earth... only you're dead!

So, it's like a Zombie movie? Cool.

Who'd want to get into heaven? - it's full of Christians. And hell has better music.

if those people on their death bed accept jesus christ as their personal lord and savior they will go right to heaven

if you dont recognize your own sin of pride and judgementalism you wont.

You mightn't beileve in the dungeons of Zelphickar Micro 7..... but they sure do believe in you... ;) thats what I'd be afraid of...

HOLY CRAP! We've been worshiping the wrong one all this time! Aghh! We're screwed! REPENT!:D

Good people go to heaven
Bad people go to hell


Try to outdo the bad with more good and you'll be fine.

And if there is no heaven, it's not as if you wasted your life trying to do good.

And if there is no heaven, it's not as if you wasted your life trying to do good.
But evil people have so much more fun.

Good people go to heaven
Bad people go to hell


Try to outdo the bad with more good and you'll be fine.

And if there is no heaven, it's not as if you wasted your life trying to do good.

I thought that would be more complicated somehow. What about this "accepting Jesus as your saviour" stuff? And those weird sins... (well, at least filesharing seems to be ok ;) )

And I often have the feeling that the "bad guys" are somehow more succesful here on earth - so at least some people would consider being "good" as wasting your life.

I thought that would be more complicated somehow. What about this "accepting Jesus as your saviour" stuff? And those weird sins... (well, at least filesharing seems to be ok ;) )
Different people believe in different things. Obviously I don't see why God would punish those who don't accept Jesus like that. I don't see Jesus as my savior, I see him as a prophet. No more special than Moses or Mohammad.

And filesharing does more good than bad. :D

I will go to heaven when I die. I get down on my knees and praise Jesus everyday. I love to feel his warm hot salvation flow down my face...


Btw, what about all those children in dirty, heathen African countries who have never heard of God? Are they going to burn for eternity?

Different people believe in different things. Obviously I don't see why God would punish those who don't accept Jesus like that. I don't see Jesus as my savior, I see him as a prophet. No more special than Moses or Mohammad.

You Jewish?

I will go to heaven when I die. I get down on my knees and praise Jesus everyday. I love to feel his warm hot salvation flow down my face...


Btw, what about all those children in dirty, heathen African countries who have never heard of God? Are they going to burn for eternity?

Watch out, you're being tricked! That's not Jesus, what you're doing is not praying and it most likely isn't salvation on your face. :D

You Jewish?
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww....(j/k :D)

No no, I'm Muslim. At least...I THINK we see Moses as a prophet. I really don't keep track of all the names.

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww....(j/k :D)

No no, I'm Muslim. At least...I THINK we see Moses as a prophet. I really don't keep track of all the names.

Whhhoooooopppppppsssss!!! :D :p Sorry, its just normally I hear 'God' its automatically either Jew or Christian... and since Jesus isn't your saviour... I assumed....:p

Yeah, Moses would be considered a prophet alright.

Why would a Spanish guy be anyone's saviour? :D

Watch out, you're being tricked! That's not Jesus, what you're doing is not praying and it most likely isn't salvation on your face. :D

Nah, salvation is too viscous to flow properly That's probably mild forgiveness he's experiencing.;)

if those people on their death bed accept jesus christ as their personal lord and savior they will go right to heaven

if you dont recognize your own sin of pride and judgementalism you wont.


PWNED!!

I was worried I would not get into heaven when I die, but standing next to these people, im going to get into heaven for sure!

Incidently, when did God let you take over the task of judgement? By usurping the role of the holy spirit you are commiting blasphemy. The Bible says something along the lines of 'all sins shall be forgiven to them save blasphemy against the holy spirit'.

So congratulations, if Heaven is real it would seem that you are the only one on this thread who is guaranteed not to get in, although it isn't my place to judge you and I could be wrong.:)

I was worried I would not get into heaven when I die, but standing next to these people, im going to get into heaven for sure!
So you're saying goodness is relative?

No heaven for you, bad child!

That's right - the patented Random Theories of Tribes Time has found this thread! Here we go, prepare to not give two flying fucks about what I shall say (and bear with me):

Maybe there is a God. Yes, agnostic admissions aside for this one peeps. However, this God is not a God of 'goodness' and supposed 'moral codes'. No. It is a God of logic and sanity. This God, see, he creates the universe. Sets it off and waits. And waits. Until one day, bam! We happen to appear. It looks at us as we evolve from primates through all our lovely little mini-mes, until finally the best yet happens - Homo mofo Sapiens pops out.

It waits still and watches while we develop a curious bunch of values based on religions. He laughs a little at our initial primitive understanding of our world, assuming religion will wear off. It doesn't. Then, God gets a plan. It waits until we have enough of an understanding of the world to philosophise and, basically, think. One day, it finds a random human, looks at them and says (in their language, obviously) "Hey you there! Yes you. I'm God. I OWN you. Yeah, go on, kneel and shit. OK, up now. Look at me. This is how the world works, bub.

"I'm God. And, because I'm God, you have to believe whatever I say, right, even if you can see it's complete BS. Ok. There's this heaven thing, see, where you get to float around in clouds and be all happy for eternity. Hey, what do you mean, get bored, I'm running the show baby! Anyways, there are certain rules. First, accept me as your overlord, even though I have basically done naff all since the beginning of time except watch. Second, if you don't obey the first rule, you don't get into heaven. No ifs, no buts. Yes, even if you devote your godless life to healing the sick, or tending to the poor and needy, or inventing charity. Third - this one's more of a bylaw to the first - even if you are an evil bastard, kicking puppies and whatnot, you can still get in to my ultra-exclusive club if you repent on your death bed. What do you mean, that's stupid. IT'S MY CLUB, DAMNIT, I GET TO MAKE THE RULES. You happy with that? OK go, tell everyone you know or I'll give you herpes. Yeah, I can do that."

The poor soul runs screaming but remembers to tell their friends. Understandably, most laugh off this as some sort hallucination. Some believe that no God could possibly be that weird. However, a few believe, possibly out of fear, perverse logic or just for the hell of it. The message spreads. And spreads. Eventually, lots of people believe in this God, or variations of it. These people no longer believe because of screwed up logic, though - stuff has been tacked on to the original rules, like "it's advisory to be nice to others". These are decent enough views, although for a while they are often backed up with the next line "...or you'll not go to Heaven." The religion becomes mainstream and no-one thinks to question the screwy rules about Heaven because of all the good intentions (added by good men and women).

Cut to the 21st Century - science has evolved to cope with many of the reasons that religion was first used; it explains natural phenomena. There's even a theory or two about the beginning of the universe, but God isn't willing to share its baby pics with the general population just yet. However, something strange has happened - God's own religion seems to have diversified dramatically. God's name is being used as a reason to give to the poor, to bomb your enemies and to generally put the fear of bejeesus into them. And this was the point. Those who flat out didn't believe in God due to no physical evidence, a clash of opinions, whatever - they die and go to Heaven. On the door, God's waiting. Why didn't you worship me, like I told your kind to all those millennia ago? HMM?" Thunder claps, lightning forks and whatnot. The person standing there - lets call him John, for argument's sake - looks God straight in the eye and, lacking fear, says:

"Because some of your basic rules were fucked up! I mean come on, I can push the boundaries of human kindness, enhance the human race's position, be a loving father and husband - and yet, just because I don't acknowledge you as my supreme overlord I'm going to Hell. Or, at least Purgatory, which ain't much better bub. I'm glad I chose this line of thought, because if you belive all that crap you're spouting then I don't want in!"

God looks, steam venting from it's nose and says "Good. Your in."

"What?" Queries a perplexed John, obviously confused.

"It was a test" God replies nonchalantly "which you, my friend, have passed. I don't believe that crap about worshipping me, it was just a test to see who was stupid enough to believe everything they're told. Admittedly, I give certain concessions here - people who worshipped me but were mainly religious for the human-imposed moral code. People who, for one reason or another, were brainwashed so they couldn't think anything else could possibly be true. Even those who, when presented with alternative arguments, conceeded that they might not be right but it's what they believe. In fact," God says, leaning on the security gates of Heaven, "the only people I don't let in are the ones who, against all logic and reason, believe that by believing in me they are entitled to a place up here. You have to work for it, mate, no two ways about it. Now, in you go."

Yes, I am aware that was long and (probably) boring. Yes, I can see that from ertain perspectives, this could be considered as flamish. I am not having a gybe at any religion as a whole. I am suggesting that fucktards who think doing fuck all in life except believing in a possibly fictional deity deserve all they get, TBQFH.

Who'd want to get into heaven? - it's full of Christians. And hell has better music.
Hell music: thrash metal, speed metal, death metal
Purgatory music: goth, emo, acoustic guitar and soem guy whining
Heaven: harps, and lounge music

Sorry, black metallers, black metal doesn't exist in the after life.

Hell music: thrash metal, speed metal, death metal
Well, two out of three ain't bad :p

Also, isn't heaven full of musak, the elevator music?

Now I just want to play on my pan pipes
I just want to drink me some wine
As soon as you're born, you start dying
So you might as well have a good time

Sheep go to heaven
Goats go to hell

TBQFH.
what's that? Total Barbe-Que Fun House? Time bunnies Quacked For homes?:D



I (pretty much) agree with the rest of the post.

Well, two out of three ain't bad :p

Also, isn't heaven full of musak, the elevator music?
I'd call it lounge

Well, two out of three ain't bad :p

Also, isn't heaven full of musak, the elevator music? Er… elevator music is the one type of music that is the greatest abomination against the high and holy art form that is music.:mad:

We could call it "Life Metal" and play it in Heaven, couldn't we? With overly distorted harps and get Azrael on vocals?

Er… elevator music is the one type of music that is the greatest abomination against the high and holy art form that is music.:mad:

We could call it "Life Metal" and play it in Heaven, couldn't we? With overly distorted harps and get Azrael on vocals?
The Mormons wouldn't like that. They are, after all, the only people allowed into heaven.

The way I see it theres 3 options.

1. If your a decent person who doesnt do anything particularly evil youl get in no problem, regardless of your beliefs.

2. If your a decent person but cant get in then God is a dick and is wrong and your better off not getting in anyway.

3. It doesnt exist so your best off not worrying about it.

of course theres always the chance that your evil in which case your screwed. but your probly not.

what's that? Total Barbe-Que Fun House? Time bunnies Quacked For homes?:D



I (pretty much) agree with the rest of the post.
Ah, I spend time on a forum where many people regularly overblow random bits of leet/txt speak by adding bits to make it less and less intelligble. An example would be:

OMFGWTMFBBQPIXPLZKTHXLOLJ00RT3HGAYXXORZZZZROTFLMFAOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!11111

as a post on its own. In this case of TBQFH, it stands for To Be Quite Fucking Honest.

EDIT: Although I should probably stop emulating that forum. One of the avatars is currently this:
http://x2.putfile.com/10/29700173131.gif

And they all worshipped it. Rightly so, but just because 1 <3 geek forums, doesn't mean everyone does.

In this world there are only two things to worry about--if you're rich or poor.

If you're rich you don't need to worry, if you're poor you only have two things to worry about--if your well or sick.

If you're well you don't need to worry, if you're sick you have two things to worry about--if you live or die.

If you live you don't need to worry, if you die you have two things to worry about--if you go to heaven or hell.

If you go to heaven you don't need to worry, if you go to hell you'll be so busy shaking hands with your friends you won't have time to worry.

In this world there are only two things to worry about--if you're rich or poor.

If you're rich you don't need to worry, if you're poor you only have two things to worry about--if your well or sick.

If you're well you don't need to worry, if you're sick you have two things to worry about--if you live or die.

If you live you don't need to worry, if you die you have two things to worry about--if you go to heaven or hell.

If you go to heaven you don't need to worry, if you go to hell you'll be so busy shaking hands with your friends you won't have time to worry.

Oh yea blatant oversimplification, thats just the way I like it. :rolleyes: