NationStates Jolt Archive

1. The world isn't fair, so be an asshole.
2. Never drink beer from American Macrobreweries..
3. When depressed, remember it's down the road and not across the street.
4. Sex is fun, but always leave afterwards to avoid confusion about feelings.
5. "It seemed like a good idea at the time" is not an acceptable excuse for burning down an entire city block.

:)

2. Has been amended.

1. The world isn't fair, so be an asshole.
2. Never drink milk after its expiration date.
3. When depressed, remember it's down the road and not across the street.
4. Sex is fun, but always leave afterwards to avoid confusion about feelings.
5. "It seemed like a good idea at the time" is not an acceptable excuse for burning down an entire city block.

:)
I think you should amend 4 to include avoiding sex with mannequins.

ok, so teenagers should know this. care to start a debate.....ask us our opinion............................................................................................. .................................................................................................... ........................................................

:p

2. Never drink milk after its expiration date.
You have never lived in my house. Milk is apparently good until it smells otherwise.

Thanks for the advice

You have never lived in my house. Milk is apparently good until it smells otherwise.

'Tis how it is in my house.

Yep, already know this.

You have never lived in my house. Milk is apparently good until it smells otherwise.
I changed 2.

I changed 2.

Ugh, it's 100% true.

*gag*

I think you should amend 4 to include avoiding sex with mannequins.
Yay, I'm not the only psycho who read that story....:rolleyes: :p

Yay, I'm not the only psycho who read that story....:rolleyes: :p
Since when is somebody crazy if they have sex with mannequins?

How is it possible to have sex with a mannequin? Do they have holes I don't know about?

Also, further advice for teenagers is to never go digging through your parents' closet if you don't want to find things that might traumatize you for the rest of your life... like vibrators and such.

Since when is somebody crazy if they have sex with mannequins?
Since 13:00, 04 April, 1984.

Since 13:00, 04 April, 1984.I wasn't notified of this!:mad:

I wasn't notified of this!:mad:
Well we sent a guy named Winston to tell you, but there was a slight misshap.:(

Since when is somebody crazy if they have sex with mannequins?

*everyone takes a collective step backwards*

Ok...riiight...i am now scarred for life

1. The world isn't fair, so be an asshole.
2. Never drink beer from American Macrobreweries..
3. When depressed, remember it's down the road and not across the street.
4. Sex is fun, but always leave afterwards to avoid confusion about feelings.
5. "It seemed like a good idea at the time" is not an acceptable excuse for burning down an entire city block.

2. Has been amended.

1) So hit it until It is

2) No, drink it from British micobreweries

3) No it isnt, the trick is to go back to answers 1 and 2....beer helps everything.

4) The best contraceptive is using a false name or claiming your sperm count is zero

5) But it IS a good excuse for invading the middle east :P

6) On the subject of vibrators, one of my mates hit another with the others's mums one of those :P SLAP!!!

7) Shouting VAGINA or PENIS as loud as possible in public IS an acceptable pub game

8) Do not go out wearing nothing but a dressingown unless you can take crude comments.

9) Ditto for walking back from the pub naked.

10) I am not talking from experience.....honest.

*everyone takes a collective step backwards*

Ok...riiight...i am now scarred for life
We've all done crazy stunts before. I set myself on fire...twice.

5. "It seemed like a good idea at the time" is not an acceptable excuse for burning down an entire city block.
Damn!

Hmmm...

1. Life isn't fair.
2. No, you don't know everything.
3. No, that girl/boy ISN'T your soulmate and you WON'T die because s/he dumped you/didn't pay attention to you.
4. Yes, you will use all that you learn in school, maybe to win a game of pub trivia, but you will use it.
5. Before you do ANYTHING that sounds like fun, stop and consider this; people will take pictures and video of it. Do you really want to explain what you were doing with the hamster, banana, glass of vodka, and the electric sheep to your child one day?

Note: The poster never had any incidents that included hamsters, bananas, glasses of vodka, and electric sheeps, at least not all at the same time.

5. Before you do ANYTHING that sounds like fun, stop and consider this; people will take pictures and video of it. Do you really want to explain what you were doing with the hamster, banana, glass of vodka, and the electric sheep to your child one day?

Damn! They swore to me that one would never get out!

1. The world isn't fair, so be an asshole.
2. Never drink beer from American Macrobreweries..
3. When depressed, remember it's down the road and not across the street.
4. Sex is fun, but always leave afterwards to avoid confusion about feelings.
5. "It seemed like a good idea at the time" is not an acceptable excuse for burning down an entire city block.

:)

2. Has been amended.

Yeah, that'll help. :rolleyes:
And you've tried them all?
Huh?
When your a real man, there's no need
Yeah, but it isn't the worst.

Damn! They swore to me that one would never get out!
They lied. :D

4. Yes, you will use all that you learn in school, maybe to win a game of pub trivia, but you will use it.
Not true. Most of English outside of writing has been useless for me, especially most of the vocabulary words and reading. Vocabulary words are especially useless since unneccessary use of "fancier" words actually lower your intelligence in the eyes of others. Since there are enough common words to express almost all topics, vocabulary words from higher grades aren't useful. I also haven't gotten much out of foreign language yet because I haven't had to interact much with people who speak other languages. My suspicion is that other paths will not make much use of physics or higher level math.

Yeah, that'll help. :rolleyes:
And you've tried them all?
Huh?
When your a real man, there's no need
Yeah, but it isn't the worst.

1. Actually it will.
2. Trust me, they're shit.
3. Think about this one.
4. Sure...
5. True.

When your a real man, there's no need
[/LIST]
You do realise that not every teenager is a guy, right? :p

You do realise that not every teenager is a guy, right? :p
Yes, some are transsexuals.

1. Actually it will.
2. Trust me, they're shit.
3. Think about this one.
4. Sure...
5. True.
I'm too tired to deal with all of them, but I must address the Brewery issue. YOU SIR, are a brewery racist!

2. Never drink beer from American Macrobreweries.

No one living outside the States needs to be told this. We in Canada have evolved to be genetically predisposed to avoiding American beer.

3. When depressed, remember it's down the road and not across the street.
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/razor2.gif

1. Communication is the most important skill you'll ever develop, need, or use.
2. Relationships are work...love is not easy.
3. It's okay. Things will get better. One day you'll be able to love yourself.
4. It's okay. Things will get better. One day, sex will be awesome.
5. Never take anyone's word for anything.

.
2. Never drink beer from American Macrobreweries..


There is no such thing as bad beer.

Not true. Most of English outside of writing has been useless for me, especially most of the vocabulary words and reading. Vocabulary words are especially useless since unneccessary use of "fancier" words actually lower your intelligence in the eyes of others. Since there are enough common words to express almost all topics, vocabulary words from higher grades aren't useful.

You've never tried to write a doctoral thesis, have you?

1) The world is billions of years old and organisms evolved into their present forms.

2) The republican party is especially untrustworthy and greedy.

3) Torture is unacceptable.

4) Politicians commonly lie.

5) At least one foreign language.

There is no such thing as bad beer.
*cough*Coors*cough*

*cough*Coors*cough*
WTF!

:mad: TAKE THAT BACK!

Best American macrobrewery beer EVER! :mad:

*cough*Coors*cough*
You watch your mouth! :sniper:
At least I don't drink beer that tastes like cold coffee!

WTF!

:mad: TAKE THAT BACK!

Best American macrobrewery beer EVER! :mad:
That's not saying much.

But from what I've heard and tasted, it's absolutely disgusting.

WTF!

:mad: TAKE THAT BACK!

Best American macrobrewery beer EVER! :mad:
I agree! I just wish I could project the level of anger I feel when someone has the pure lack of humanity to insult beer. :mad:

That's not saying much.

But from what I've heard and tasted, it's absolutely disgusting.
YOU TAKE THAT BACK! YOU TAKE IT BACK RIGHT NOW !!!!!!! :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

That's not saying much.

But from what I've heard and tasted, it's absolutely disgusting.
You've obviously never had Keystone...

And besides, I never said I prefer Coors to all other beer. It's the best mainstream American non-import. Maybe you have awfully high standards but I like Coors as it is. Sure there are better beers, but I do not find it "absolutely disgusting"--far from it actually.

You've obviously never had Keystone...

And besides, I never said I prefer Coors to all other beer. It's the best mainstream American non-import. Maybe you have awfully high standards but I like Coors as it is. Sure there are better beers, but I do not find it "absolutely disgusting"--far from it actually.
Well, then I am sorry for offending you. I learned something today...let's get drunk and set stuff on fire.

...let's get drunk and set stuff on fire.
I concur.

I concur.
I don't have a lighter.

UPDATE: When I posted "I concur" my Italian Sub fell... :(

And now my empty Guiness can pile next to my desk is contamnated with foodstuffs...

Send help!

You've never tried to write a doctoral thesis, have you?
No. How many people do that? Considering that getting a degree in any major isn't accomplished by the majority of the populace here, I would wager that it's not that many people. Besides, I never said there was something that no one used, just subjects an individual may not use dependant on the individual.

I'm curious, are lots of high school vocab words used in doctoral thesis' in your experience? If you have written/are writing one, what field was it in?

123. A single tatoo anywhere on your body will disqualify you from at least a few career paths.
124. A tatoo that can be seen while you're wearing a t-shirt and pants will significantly limit your occupational options.
125. A tatoo on your face will ensure you spend at least half of your adult life in prison, which won't necessarily be a lot of time since you'll probably die before you hit 46.
126. Tatoos of cartoon characters, naked women, or naked cartoon women will help ensure you never have to pay child support.

123. A single tatoo anywhere on your body will disqualify you from at least a few career paths.
124. A tatoo that can be seen while you're wearing a t-shirt and pants will significantly limit your occupational options.
125. A tatoo on your face will ensure you spend at least half of your adult life in prison, which won't necessarily be a lot of time since you'll probably die before you hit 46.
126. Tatoos of cartoon characters, naked women, or naked cartoon women will help ensure you never have to pay child support.
I'd like to add to the tattoo theme.

127) A tattoo of your significant others name will insure that the two of you seperate on bad terms.
128) A tribal tattoo will insure that everyone knows how very unoriginal you are.
129) A poorly taken care of fresh tattoo will most likely turn into a muddled ugly blotch of ink.

1. The world isn't fair, so be an asshole.
2. Never drink beer from American Macrobreweries..
3. When depressed, remember it's down the road and not across the street.
4. Sex is fun, but always leave afterwards to avoid confusion about feelings.
5. "It seemed like a good idea at the time" is not an acceptable excuse for burning down an entire city block.

1. Don't be an asshole, because then there will just be even more assholes in the world. Chill the fuck out, and enjoy yourself with your friends. That's all life is about... Drink beer. Smoke pot.

2. Blue Moon is actually a great brew from an American Micro. But that's it. The rest suck. When you're downing 20 macro beers a night in college, at least try to get something half-way decent, like Mich Light. Once you graduate, however, try to move on to something better, even if it has to be mass produced like Heineken. (Weihenstephaner Hefeweizen is the absolute best)

3. If you're depressed and you're under 20, shoot yourself. Trust me, it's going to get A LOT worse.

The author of this post in no way condones or advocates suicide; he merely wishes to convey his opinion that life is all downhill after college.

4. Just wear a condom. If she is on the pill, make sure you see her swallow the damn thing EVERY day. Because even if you can afford an abortion, she might be some kind of religious-type and then you will be stuck paying her half your paycheck every month for the next 18-21 years.

To all pro-lifer's who will inevitably comment on this post, :upyours:

5. Repeat the phrase "It was like that when I got here!"

I'd like to add to the tattoo theme.

127) A tattoo of your significant others name will insure that the two of you seperate on bad terms.
128) A tribal tattoo will insure that everyone knows how very unoriginal you are.
129) A poorly taken care of fresh tattoo will most likely turn into a muddled ugly blotch of ink.

127) Agreed.
128) Not unless it's on your breast like mine (I don't show everyone my breasts). Besides the tribal is rainbow colored including "Florida Orange" which glows under blacklight and it's just a background for my wolfie.
128) Agreed.

I felt the need to be defensive.

123. A single tatoo anywhere on your body will disqualify you from at least a few career paths.
124. A tatoo that can be seen while you're wearing a t-shirt and pants will significantly limit your occupational options.
125. A tatoo on your face will ensure you spend at least half of your adult life in prison, which won't necessarily be a lot of time since you'll probably die before you hit 46.
126. Tatoos of cartoon characters, naked women, or naked cartoon women will help ensure you never have to pay child support.

123. Like what? Other than something where your entire body is displayed, like an underwear model, and I have seen some of those with ink.

124. & 125. true.

126. Not true. Actually, the opposite. It will limit the type of person you can date to the point where you will end up getting someone pregnant that you would rather pay half your salary to for 18-21 years than EVER see again sober, let alone marry.