NationStates Jolt Archive

Similar to "5 Random Facts about Yourself... (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=454913)", except you lie.
Make it something plausible you might actually want someone to believe about you.

1. You can trust me, I would never lie. (ok so much for plausibility)
2. I've always liked reading books
3. My room isn't a total mess.
4. I'm not addicted to the internet
5. I don't watch television much.

1. I didn't grab my mom's boobs
2. The cops didn't bring me home drunk when I was 15
3. I wasn't an altar boy
4. I didn't fuck up my exam on Compilers
5. People never call me miss

1) I believe that, while fun, videogames nevertheless rot the brain and turn gamers into illiterate zombies.

2) I am fluent in three languages (Dutch, English and French).

3) While I do have a personality disorder, it's a relatively stable one, allowing me to function more or less reasonably in society.

4) Although my artistic skills are far from spectacular, I am able to paint a fairly reasonble painting now and then.

5) I have no problems wandering around in dark houses, but being outside in the dark sometimes frightens the crap out of me.


There. Now the big question is (as if anyone would care), which of these five lies is actually not a lie but the truth?

1) I never heard about the subject 'Compilers'
2) I never met Legless Pirates
3) I jack off 10 times a day
4) I'm drunk right now
5) I'm Belgian

1. I hate these things.
2. I hate Star Trek.
3. I'm a girly girl.
4. I'm a virgin.
5. I'm homosexual.

1) I'm really pretty
2) I have a great relationship with my father
3) I just adore the colour pink
4) I've got a nice singing voice
5) I grow spinach and celery in my garden

1) I'm a born again Christian who believes in a literal interpretation of the Holy Bible

2) Jesus told me he wants me to be president.

3) I never wear pants. Instead I wear either a kilt or a speedo (depending on how formal the situation is)

4) I have 30 children with 37 different women.

5) All my digits are webbed, my bones are hollow, and there is a membrane of skin between my arms and legs which allows me to jump off of high places and glide down to safety.

1) my room is perfectly clean
2) i dont not have other things that i should be doing right now
3)i love grammer
4) the same goes for math
5)um......( i will think of something later)

1. I'm a closet member of the Fascist Party.
2. I think all non-believers must be EXTINGUISHED!!
3. O Canada!
4. Flowers smell bad...
5. I was Vlademir Lenin in a past life. (I dunno, could be true)

1. I am a communist.

2. I saw the alliens.

3. I hate beer and whiskey.

4. I am a member of EU parlament.

5. I drive Dodge Viper. :cool:

1.) I think homosexuality should be banned from society.
2.) I suck at all things science and math.
3.) I hate Americans because of their freedoms...
4.) That's why I shot JFK.
5.) I always finish what I st

1. I have two hands

2. I cant play sports.

3. Guns are bad

4. People like me.

5. I am a wondeful student

1. Angelina Jolie adopted me.
2. I recently had a threesome with TATU.
3. Chuck Norris is my real father.
4. I have a 9-inch penis.
5. I invented teh interwebs.

1. I am God.
2. I am still God.
3. I can overthrow any government with the snap of my fingers.
4. I can speak any language.
5. I recognize that all of the above are lies.

I had my head cut off, and later sewn back on (backwards), by a team of martians who used spagetti as the stitches.

I am lying

I listen to cheesy dance

I'm happy

I'm not bored.

1 I taught my dog to read
2 I am a super model
3 I only eat good carbs
4 I can run a mile in 4 min
5 I am a 40 year old male.

1. I rarely lose my detachable penis.
2. I get my crack from the guy who cleans my teeth at the dentist's office.
3. I once killed two bears with only a gun with one bullet and a knife. I put the knife at the end of the barrel, fired the gun, and split the bullet into striking both bears right between the eyes.
4. When beating my wife, I always follow the rule of thumb: A man may not use a stick thicker than his thumb to beat his wife.
5. I am a chickenhawk.

1. This sentence is a lie.
2. The above sentence is a lie.
3. The above two sentences are lies.
4. The above three sentences are lies.
5. All of these sentences are lies.

*Computer explodes*

1) I was once a member of a secret society that plotted to put Bob Marley in the presidency.

2) I keep my spleen in a jar and occasionally look at it longingly.

3) Everyone finds me attractive, even other men.

4) Everything is fine.

5) I have a twin brother named Ben that my mom kicked out of the house when we were young because he didn't listen well.

*snip*
4. When beating my wife, I always follow the rule of thumb: A man may not use a stick thicker than his thumb to beat his wife.
*snip*

Hell yes...Boondock Saints!

Hell yes...Boondock Saints!
That was in Boondock Saints?

1. I know Japanese!

2. I am a very, very organized person

3. All those times I'm cracking my knuckles, it's because I'm about to kick someone's ass.

4. I am a vampire.

5. I don't like you and you don't like me.

That was in Boondock Saints?

Right in the beginning when Connor is trying to train the new feminist lesbian lady about how they cut meat in the factory. She says it right before she kicks him in the nuts.

That was in Boondock Saints?
Yeah, one of the two brothers innocently used the term "rule of thumb" without knowing it's history while trying to train a large man-hating lesbian at her new job.

Yeah, one of the two brothers innocently used the term "rule of thumb" without knowing it's history while trying to train a large man-hating lesbian at her new job.

And then (I am laughing picturing it in my head) Connor says, "Oh, you can't do much damage with that then, wha? Maybe it should have been the rule o' wrist wha?"

Oh god...that movie is the best...

And then (I am laughing picturing it in my head) Connor says, "Oh, you can't do much damage with that then, wha? Maybe it should have been the rule o' wrist wha?"

Oh god...that movie is the best...
It's ok. If I were Irish or from Boston I might like it better.

1. i have an extremely small penis
2. im gay
3. i hate jews
4. i hate pretty much everyone
5. toast sucks

1) I invented Parmesan cheese

2) My Dad is Bruce Forsyth

3) I never pretend that I'm Jack Bauer and today is the longest day of my life

4) I have a family of ferrets that live in my pants

5) I fantasise about pamela anderson farting in my mouth

1. I'm straight.
2. I have a girlfriend called Gretta.
3. She has a penis.
4. I don't.
5. Five times five is eight.

1. I'm an atheist.
2. I secretly love Communism.
3. I voted for John Kerry.
4. I am against the Iraq War.
5. I hate guns.

1.Dan Brown has proved i am jesus
2.1 324 years ol
3.i am 17 years old
4.i like looking at fat people porn
5.i'm not not not not ungay

1. I'm hung like a chipmunk
2. I'm hung like a stallion
3. My room is neat and tidy
4. I have never looked at porn
5. There is no body under my patio
6. I always lie
7. I can count

1. I love wearing socks.
2. I just worked out a problem involving determining the pH of used chewing gum.
3. I was born with a tail.
4. I feel wonderful right now.
5. My wisdom teeth are killing me.

1. I truly appreciate the existence of humanity.
2. I am extremely moral.
3. I can't think of anyone that I would want to brutally kill while laughing insanely.
4. I think irrational morons should be allowed to live freely, no matter how inapable of logical thought they are.
5. My ultimate dream is to live forever, as a part of humanity.

5 Random lies about myself

I am not typing
I am not sitting down
I am not playing on Nationstates
I am not posting in a forum
I am not finishing what i am typing.

Here is my Specially Prepared Procession of Lies for the poor sods whom I must provide with help over the phone as part of my wage-slave position:
1. I'm happy to help you
2. I care
3. I'll do something about it
4. I'm doing something right now
5. I'm sorry that what I did didn't work
6. I'd like you to call again soon.

1. I invented sliced bread.

2. I live in a shoe.

3. I am the president of nigeria.

4. I can play the ukelele

5. I pwN j00!!111

1) I am Chuck Norris
2) I like French
3) I know martial arts
4) God keeps me in a bottle
5) I am not Chuck Norris

1. I am an attorney for a Nigerian law firm. Recently a person with the same last name as you was killed in an automobile accident, leaving behind a large sum of money... What do you mean, you've heard this one before?

2. I took these pills, and now I have larger, firmer breasts!

3. I can recite the entire Bible from memory. Backwards. In Hebrew.

4. I really, really want to know more about Angelina's baby.

5. No, officer, I have no idea how fast I was going.

:p

1) I'm not a very physical person.

2) There is nothing I frown upon more than humor at another's expense.

3) I believe there is a right time and place for everything.

4) I take every necessary precaution to safeguard my health and wellbeing.

5) Politics is serious business.

1) I'm calm and peaceful.
2) I'm funny.
3) I'm a mere mortal being.
4) I find that America is a great country without flaws.
5) I'm Egyptian.

1 - I'm a sin-free, God-fearing Christian
2 - I'm going to vote Conservative in the next election
3 - My ex-boyfriend isn't an asshole
4 - I love doing housework!
5 - I would sonner do homework than play Guild Wars

1. I think all books should be burned
2. Im a Virgin
3. Im a vegetarian
4. I have a hatred of all thing green lol
5. Scotland football team Rock (which i personally am allowed to state since i am Scottish)

1. I think George Bush is teh 1337
2. I have not calculated the size of a nuclear warhead neccessary to wipe the city of Sacramento off the face of the planet
3. I am a buff jock
4. I only eat healthy food
5. I have a hot set of twins sitting on my lap right now

And then (I am laughing picturing it in my head) Connor says, "Oh, you can't do much damage with that then, wha? Maybe it should have been the rule o' wrist wha?"

Oh god...that movie is the best...
Wow, I don't remember anything from that movie. This is probably because the only time I saw it I was drunk and started watching it at about 4:00am. I was pretty sure I stayed awake throughout the whole movie (unlike everyone else in the room), but maybe I did not.

1. I didn't make a speech in school about how if I could invent anything, I would invent a sex robot.

2. I have never spent +6 hours on a computer in one sitting.

3. I hate Acid Bath.

4. I am very, very racist against anyone who isn't white.

5. I am not weird or geeky.

I am a Giant Miniture Space Hamster

The little voices in my head have told me this

The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off in the interests of saving energy

The French love the English language

Nation States sucks (blatant lie)

1. i like the french
2. i am british
3. i believe communism is the greatest thing to happen to man kind
4. i am a terrible chef
5. i cant drive

1. I'm skinny.
2. I'm religious.
3. I like pink.
4. I'm popular.
5. I'm stupid.
:) ;) :D

1) my room is perfectly clean
2) i dont not have other things that i should be doing right now
3)i love grammer
4) the same goes for math
5)um......( i will think of something later)
I <3 MATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:mad: :sniper:

I'm a huge Ayn Rand fan
I wouldn't know what weed smells/looks like
I keep a meticulous appearance
I find smokers disgusting. I wish the government would make it illegal
I love wintertime

Hahaha, great idea.


1. I'm Gay
2. I don't catch myself staring at girls body parts sometimes.
3. I don't have $76 in my wallet
4. I've made out before.
5. I love waking up in the morning.

1) I am Spartacus!
2) I have never gotten below an A
3) I'm typing with my elbow
4) I support deficit spending
5) I have long flowing blond hair

1
I like okra and brussel sprouts
2)Iam as Skinny as a rake
3)I love the Liberal party of canada
4)I am Normal
5)I do not care for porn
i do not lie very well

1.I don't eat chocolate constantly
2.I don't think I'm the greatest
3.I believe my school is the greatest
4 I listen to what my parents say.
5. I am a vibrant happy girl

1. I shot the sherriff.
2. I write the songs that make the whole world sing.
3. I'm afraid of americans.
4. I fell into a ring of fire.
5. I am the walrus.

1: I'm a selfish, pompous dick
2: I'm a psychotic sociopath
3: I think my dad is the greatest person in the world
4: I despise music
5: I rarely shower

1. A nun did not ask to borrow a leather halter top that I was showing off to my friends at Catholic school.

2. I am not sadistic.

3. I did not knock down six guys who were much bigger than me in a mosh pit.

4. I am a big hairy man with great bouncing balls.

5. I had sex with Cluichstan's adoptive mother.

1. I love Osama.
2. I am a Calvinist.
3. The Texans are going to win the Superbowl.
4. Alcohol, cigarettes, and marijuana are so bad they should be illegal.
5. I had a threesome with Lindsay Lohan and Mila Kunis last night.