NationStates Jolt Archive

I now have an official college story to tell my kids and NS General.

Now, I’m a college kid, and what do college kids do on the weekend? We party. And at MSU, we party like none other.

Usually, I’m pretty good when it comes to drinking. I get semi-drunk. Drunk enough to feel the buzz, but not enough to lose control of myself.

This week had been an especially stressful week, with a paper due and a few tests, plus the standard college stress. So, this time, I partied hard. I must have drunk my body weight in beer. I mean, I got really wasted. I couldn’t tell my beer mug from boobs. And that’s a bad thing. At about 1:00AM, I just passed out, and I didn’t remember anything after that. Perhaps it is for the better.

9:00AM. Sunday. Today.

I wake up with the worst headache ever. It felt like Gallagher mistook my head for a melon. I never had a headache that bad. But the next thing I saw shocked me even more.

There was a woman. On my futon. Handcuffed to my bedpost.

It took me a second for this new development to register. Somehow, a woman became handcuffed to my futon during the night. Either I was really drunk last night, or some kinky shit happened. Probably a combination of the two.

Evidently, she was just as drunk last night as I was. She remembered nothing.

After freeing my captive, I took a quick survey of my room. Computer still there. Good. Wallet missing nothing. Excellent. Yellow “Bathroom Being Cleaned” sign, check. What? “Bathroom Being Cleaned” sign? That’s not usually there!

Evidently, a woman in handcuffs wasn’t the only thing I collected last night. As I further surveyed the room, I found many things that are not usually found in my dorm room. A glass pepper shaker. A rubber banded collection of cigars. A street sign. An orange barrel. A pair of sand bags. Odd things.

I will see some of my drinking buddies tomorrow, so, hopefully, I’ll find out what exactly happened last night.

The moral of the story, you ask?

Always carry bolt cutters.

heh awesome story :p
the one time i've been that drunk the only thing i gained was my self-respect. oh no, wait, i lost that... yeah :(
that any my favourite t-shirt (damn hotrocks)

Good job man. Where were you partying at?

sounds like someone had fun.;)

the most drunk I've ever been resulted in me being kicked out of the building overnight because I was singing too loudly and nobody could shut me up.

Good job man. Where were you partying at?

Hell man, I don't even remember!

Hell man, I don't even remember!
That is how we fucking roll. I got a great quote that playboy said about MSU's party scene; "Michigan State University will no longer be included in our annual top party schools, because we feel it's unfair to include professionals on a list of amateurs"

Heh.... that's all? :p

You won't believe some things I know. Or don't know. ;)

That is how we fucking roll. I got a great quote that playboy said about MSU's party scene; "Michigan State University will no longer be included in our annual top party schools, because we feel it's unfair to include professionals on a list of amateurs"
That is hardcore.

Nice random chicks.
What the hell am i doing on now................

That is hardcore.

You have no idea.

We are hardcore up here in the deep north!

Nice random chicks.
What the hell am i doing on now................

Not just random chicks, random chicks in handcuffs...

Bump

Hmm, maybe I should transfer to State, Central isn't quite as fun as that :p

Hmm, maybe I should transfer to State, Central isn't quite as fun as that :p

Amen to that! Central don't have nuthin on State!

Anyway, stuff like that happens all the time. Remember MSU's motto...


We invented Tear Gas!

BUMPie!

Okay............ *blank stare*

Okay............ *blank stare*

What, no witty comments? None of the sarcasm you are known for?

I expected more from you. You have failed me.

What, no witty comments? None of the sarcasm you are known for?

I expected more from you. You have failed me.
Witty comments are reserved for two types of situations: those that deserve a response, and those that do not. This is one of the rare third types (requiring something in between a lack of response and a response) ....

Witty comments are reserved for two types of situations: those that deserve a response, and those that do not. This is one of the rare third types (requiring something in between a lack of response and a response) ....

Joy. I am rare.

Is is not very often that a post leaves Czardas speechless.

Haha, that's awesome...I actually laughed out loud :D

Hell man, I don't even remember!


Oh man you are one craaaaazzzy dude - you ought to be sectioned you're so hardcore.


Or maybe not - your story is pathetic. It might have been a bit better if you had anally violated your captive and buried her in a shallow grave.


Seriously, is this supposed to be impressive? It just further illustrates that students are generally proper pricks on both sides of the pond.

Oh man you are one craaaaazzzy dude - you ought to be sectioned you're so hardcore.


Or maybe not - your story is pathetic. It might have been a bit better if you had anally violated your captive and buried her in a shallow grave.


Seriously, is this supposed to be impressive? It just further illustrates that students are generally proper pricks on both sides of the pond.

It's not supposed to be impressive. I share most of my life with the people of NS general. This is just but a slice of my existence pie.

Oh man you are one craaaaazzzy dude - you ought to be sectioned you're so hardcore.


Or maybe not - your story is pathetic. It might have been a bit better if you had anally violated your captive and buried her in a shallow grave.


Seriously, is this supposed to be impressive? It just further illustrates that students are generally proper pricks on both sides of the pond.

Aaww, I know what you need!

*hands a doob* :fluffle:

*SNIP*

There was a woman. On my futon. Handcuffed to my bedpost.

*SNIP*

I want my sex slave back.

Oh I have some good ones. Some of which happened to me.

Cool Ade face from the Phillipines. (You do not want to know. It involves oral sex performed on a female - and that's way TMI.)

The Texas VS Japan Tequila drink off (Texas side won - after 2 bottles. My old buddy S. won by virtue of being able to stand. No walking.)

The funny story I am the subject of that is still laughed about at one of my long time hang outs that I don't know because it was (fortunately?) blacked out - I still have no idea what happened eight years later, but the barman giggles everytime I ask.

However, that's one worthy of the greats.

.This is just but a slice of my existence pie.


WTF?

I want my sex slave back.

Sorry. I let her free. She's probbably halfway to the Northwest Territories by now.

And more importantly, what am I doing with your sex slave?

It's not supposed to be impressive. I share most of my life with the people of NS general. This is just but a slice of my existence pie.


Mmmm...existence pie...yummy...

Sorry. I let her free. She's probbably halfway to the Northwest Territories by now.

And more importantly, what am I doing with your sex slave?

That's what I wanna know. Well, that and how she managed to escape from my basement...

That's what I wanna know. Well, that and how she managed to escape from my basement...

So, she escaped from your basement, and ended up handcuffed to my futon?

Pretty kinky, if you ask me.

Oh, and do you want your handcuffs back?

Aaww, I know what you need!

*hands a doob* :fluffle:

You're giving him Grass? :confused:

So, she escaped from your basement, and ended up handcuffed to my futon?

Pretty kinky, if you ask me.

Oh, and do you want your handcuffs back?

Nah, you can keep 'em. Apparently they weren't strong enough. I'll have to get a better pair.

Mmmm...existence pie...yummy...

Hey, stop eating my existence (pie)!

Hey, stop eating my existence (pie)!

Awwww...but it's so sweet and tasty... :(

You're giving him Grass? :confused:

Sure, why not? Counter anger with hippie-love, that's what I always say.

Awwww...but it's so sweet and tasty... :(

But its mine! Go steal a homeless guys existence pie!

But its mine! Go steal a homeless guys existence pie!
Er... are you sure he didn't? You stole that pie from Myrth after all...

Er... are you sure he didn't? You stole that pie from Myrth after all...

ME!

Never! You know TSI is too smart to risk the wrath of Myrth.

I stole it from Melkor.

ME!

Never! You know TSI is too smart to risk the wrath of Myrth.

I stole it from Melkor.
Oh, of course, that would explain the burn marks.... my mistake.

Oh, of course, that would explain the burn marks.... my mistake.

I do enjoy my crust crispy. Myrth's was too mushy.

Melkor's was much more enjoyable.

I do enjoy my crust crispy. Myrth's was too mushy.

Melkor's was much more enjoyable.
I know. It was certainly better than Frisbee's at any rate. Although if you stacked Kat's on top of Euro's, you did get a really good one..... ;)

I know. It was certainly better than Frisbee's at any rate. Although if you stacked Kat's on top of Euro's, you did get a really good one..... ;)

My God! Double Existence Pie!

My God! Double Existence Pie!
I know, it shocked me the first time I heard about it too.

I know, it shocked me the first time I heard about it too.

For that matter, lets stack Myrth's, Melkor's, Euro's, and Fris' pies together, with a little [violet] added in for flavor.

Quintouple Existence pie!

For that matter, lets stack Myrth's, Melkor's, Euro's, and Fris' pies together, with a little [violet] added in for flavor.

Quintouple Existence pie!

Existence overkill! :eek:

For that matter, lets stack Myrth's, Melkor's, Euro's, and Fris' pies together, with a little [violet] added in for flavor.

Quintouple Existence pie!
:rolleyes:

You know Myrth and Melkor pies don't mix well together. Take out Myrth and replace him with something more reasonable, like Hack or GMC! :D

Wow..and the most I have ever done is walk around naked and steal a traffic cone.


I salute you, and you wont find me doing that a lot.