NationStates Jolt Archive

Has anyone ever had a successful long-distance exclusive relationship? Or even, I guess, an unsuccessful one?

The reason I ask is because I've just entered one. If anyone remembers this thread, (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=449949) but it's the same girl (that's a thread in which I sought advice about if it was advisable for me to go 300 miles on the chance I would get laid, for those of you too lazy to click the link. short version: vidi, vici, veni;) If I could conjugate latin, I'd also add a "she came" at the end there, but I can't.) I've spent at least an hour every day talking to her since then (then being last weekend), mostly through msnmessenger and text messages.

One thing that's changed about my situation since that last thread: I'm no longer at uni in manchester, I'm now back at home with my parents in Cornwall. I'm going back to restart uni next year (almost certainly not at manchester, though) and this girl and I are applying to three of the same universities. I like her a lot, and if I could keep this relationship working until september, that would be fantastic.

Anyway, if anyone has some advice on long distance relationships and how to make them work, that would be greatly appreciated. Or even horror stories where it all went wrong that we can all laugh at, because comedy is always welcome.

Thanks in advance, general forumites!

Has anyone ever had a successful long-distance exclusive relationship? Or even, I guess, an unsuccessful one?

The reason I ask is because I've just entered one. If anyone remembers this thread, (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=449949) but it's the same girl (that's a thread in which I sought advice about if it was advisable for me to go 300 miles on the chance I would get laid, for those of you too lazy to click the link. short version: vidi, vici, veni;) If I could conjugate latin, I'd also add a "she came" at the end there, but I can't.) I've spent at least an hour every day talking to her since then (then being last weekend), mostly through msnmessenger and text messages.

One thing that's changed about my situation since that last thread: I'm no longer at uni in manchester, I'm now back at home with my parents in Cornwall. I'm going back to restart uni next year (almost certainly not at manchester, though) and this girl and I are applying to three of the same universities. I like her a lot, and if I could keep this relationship working until september, that would be fantastic.

Anyway, if anyone has some advice on long distance relationships and how to make them work, that would be greatly appreciated. Or even horror stories where it all went wrong that we can all laugh at, because comedy is always welcome.

Thanks in advance, general forumites!
Long distance relationships are by far one of the most stupid endeavors that two people can engage in, UNLESS you're also exploring and adding to your little black book while separated from the other person. Otherwise they're a lot like this: :headbang:

I'm currently in a great long-distance relationship, and I must say there are some things that can make it good, but also things that can cause a breakup.

Good things:

1. Maintain communication. Can be difficult if there is a large time difference involved. However, this can be remedied through "phone dates" and setting calling hours when the both of you willl be at-home and able to talk. MSN is great for that too.

2. Visits. Try to have at least one or two visits (depending on affordability). If you are serious about the relationship, then this is a VERY good idea. My partner and I try to alternate who visits who each time to help with the cost (my partner lives 4000 miles away).

3. Internet "dates". You can set "dates" on MSN, or try going to games dot com if you want to have just a fun time together (or play mmorpgs, or whatever, depends on what you guys are into).

4. Phone sex is also good, as are kinky emails, msn conversations, and the like.

5. Written communication, and parcels, or flowers, are also a great idea.

Things that are NOT good:

1. Ignoring issues, like jealously, or distrust, because all of a sudden she doesn't know if you're seeing other women or have crushes on them. The key here is to be open and honest at all times, but also reassuring.

2. Not calling...hence no communication... big no-no.

3. Not telling her if you're going out or things like that... could make her worried or upset. You might find twenty messages on you machine when you get home from the bar if you don't tell her what you're up to and when you're going to be home.


I hope the above info is helpful... best of luck to you and your significant other!!:)

*watches thread & takes notes*
I'm now back at home with my parents in Cornwall. I'm going back to restart uni next year (almost certainly not at manchester, though) and this girl and I are applying to three of the same universities. I like her a lot, and if I could keep this relationship working until september, that would be fantastic.
wow thats amazing - we're in practically the same situation... i've been at uni for 2 years, taking a break living (& working) with parents, but i don't intend to go back to uni at the end of this year (though i officially will)
weird...

I've spent at least an hour every day talking to her since then (then being last weekend), mostly through msnmessenger and text messages.
i've been in a relationship with a girl (a poster on these very forums no less ;)) who lives about 60 miles away, for the past month or two... really really care for her like no other before her, and we were friends before this and have plenty in common... problem is we won't get to meet till April :(
so we're gonna have to keep this long distance relationship up till then at the least. i don't think it'll be much of a problem: things are going great so far cos we're both really open , expressive, and honest about our feelings, and also our worries - it makes us closer, dispite being apart. we also talk for a long time usually (on msn), often for over 2 or 3 hours (pretty intensively too). loosing communication is bad

the real problem comes in that she's only just going to college at the start of next term (yeah a bit of an age difference), so if we're going to be together we need to keep things going at least another two years till she goes to uni or takes a gap year. i'm not sure if thats possible or not, but i sure as hell am going to try (and so is she) :)
just remember to think long-term and don't do anything short-term or rash to screw things up in what could in the long run, make you so very happy and be the best thing in your life.

it also helps that she's "only" 60 miles or so away, so i can drive & visit relatively often (once a few things are sorted out)

I hope the above info is helpful... best of luck to you and your significant other!!:)

Thanks, that is helpful. And 4000 miles?! Fuck that's a long way.

Also, great name!

I'm in one, and it is exclusive, or at least it's exclusive by assumption.
Be prepared for high phone bills and HUGE amounts of time on MSN... We talk all the time, and that's all good. It gets lonely sometimes, but then again we get to see one another at least every two months. We're spending the summer holiday in the same city, hurrah!

Monogamy can be difficult sometimes, maybe it's worth having an open relationship? Like I said, we're ok because we get to see one another fairly frequently, but hmm, you do find yourself lusting after people. Or maybe that's just me, me and large amounts of alcohol. >.<

You know, this thread has been a huge relief to me - I thought I was the only one who's life was being consumed by msn conversation with their significant other (I do actually spend pretty much all my time on the computer, either talking to her or waiting and hoping that she'll come online). An hour and a half counts as long distance right? That's by train btw, so it'd probably be about 2 hours at least by car.

But yeah we've been going out (well actually neither of us has actually asked the other out, but we consider it pretty much official - point of fact I'm going to see her this weekend, at which point I fuly intend to ask :)) since about August/September time, it's a bit difficult to pin down an exact time since it didn't happen suddenly, just sorta happened if you know what I mean.

As to advice its pretty much the same as everyone else's - communication is your best friend here. Talk, a lot, either phone or msn. And sending her letters and stuff is great too - it sure as hell makes my day (sometimes my whole week :D) when she sends me letters.

But other than that I don't have much to say other than good luck mate, hope it all works out for ya :)

I did.

Went to see her one day, caught her in bed with another man.

:(

I've had both a bad experiance and a good one with a long distance relationship.

Everyone else has covered the good communication part (Thank God for the Internet, how my grandparents survived waiting for written letters in WWII I don't know).

Be prepared for a lot of work. It takes a lot of strength to keep a relationship on good grounds when you're far away (5,000 miles right now). There's also a lot of heartache, not just missing your SO, but when something happens to her and you can't be there for her beyond just a voice on the phone.

You also have to be in a relationship that has a lot of trust, and a lot of space. You have to accept that your SO WILL have a life seperate from your yours (and you have to accept that you have a life that does not contain her as well).

And, somewhat ironically, when you DO see each other, you almost have to re-learn what it means to be together, again.

If you can do that, then... Well, as my fiancee and I note, we'll have spent two years of our engagement and the first year of our marriage on the other side of the planet from each other. If we can survive that, we're not too worried about what life will toss at us. ;)

Anyway, if anyone has some advice on long distance relationships and how to make them work,
Try 8,200 miles. 4.5 year realationship. Requires patience, tolerance, trust and a whole lot of love!!!

Yeah I had one. 5000 miles seperated us. What had happened was that I met her in London when I was in my early 20's. Got her number, never hooked up with her at the time. But about 5 years of on and off again contact we finally hooked up. Maybe it was just the novelty of the thing but we had a very intense relationship. We took turns flying back and forth. Finally I decided to live in the UK with her. It went well for a long while. I finally needed to move back to the states for other reasons than a problem with the relationship. We stayed in contact and saw each other for about 5-10 days at a time. Whenever we could fly to see one another. But in the end the distance finally got to our relationship. We had to part ways and say goodbye. It was a difficult thing to do. Was it worth it? Yeah, I think it was. Met someone very cool and had a great time with her. Learned alot of things from her that better improved myself. Also the distance bit did give me a different perspective on things. Anyway good luck with anyone willing to try it.

I've done the long-distance thing twice. One worked out, and I live with the guy in question now =). The other didn't, but that guy acted like a jerk.

My advisor lives in Atlanta, GA, with her husband living in Pasadena, California (about 4000 miles? away). They get along just fine.

It can be done, but only if you both are really dedicated to making it work.

Has anyone ever had a successful long-distance exclusive relationship? Or even, I guess, an unsuccessful one?

Anyway, if anyone has some advice on long distance relationships and how to make them work, that would be greatly appreciated.
I've had very successful long distance relationships, but one of the reasons they were successful was that they weren't exclusive. Being realistic about the distance, we always decided that the relationship should be "open" to the extent that we were free to date others. In one case, we agreed to not ask about other relationships, and in another case we decided to share. Since neither one lasted for more than about a year, it's hard to say which approach was better. One long distance relationship I had lasted about three years, my personal record.

I don't recommend that anyone try to make a long distance relationship exclusive. I also recommend that you not get your hopes up too high, unless in the unlikely event you truly love each other and plan to be married.

I don't recommend that anyone try to make a long distance relationship exclusive.
Why not? I recommend that one follows their heart, wherever that may take them. I call that freedom.

I also recommend that you not get your hopes up too high, unless in the unlikely event you truly love each other and plan to be married.
My hopes and dreams have been high for 4.5 years and we are getting married in less than 2 months. :)

My hopes and dreams have been high for 4.5 years and we are getting married in less than 2 months. :)

Congratulations!

Where do I send the toaster (or the Canadian equivalent)?

Why not? I recommend that one follows their heart, wherever that may take them. I call that freedom.


My hopes and dreams have been high for 4.5 years and we are getting married in less than 2 months. :)
Good for you! [ cheers ] But as best I can tell, your story is one of the few exceptions to the rule.

Congratulations!

Where do I send the toaster (or the Canadian equivalent)?
Thanks!! This is second time around for both of us so we already have two of everything. Would you like a toaster? :D

Thanks!! This is second time around for both of us so we already have two of everything. Would you like a toaster? :D

Actually, I really would like a toaster. :p

Good for you! [ cheers ] But as best I can tell, your story is one of the few exceptions to the rule.
Thanks Eut.

Actually, it may seem like an exception, but with the Internet these days, web cams, MSN, etc., I am hearing of more and more couples uniting through the net.

Although, I must admit that I feel very fortunate to have met this lady, and I thank God for her presence in my life.

I'm another success story on the long-distance relationship thing.

I'm an Australian, my husband is American (16,500 kilometres). We met in February 2002 via the internet (NOT a dating service, but through a website of mutual interest) and really hit it off. We talked through MSN and webcam for four months before our first face-to-face meeting when I visited him in July, at which point our feelings became well cemented. We remained in an exclusive relationship during our internet courtship and managed two more actual vistits (he came to Aust. for Christmas and then the following March) before I travelled to the US in June to stay permanently.

We were married that October and have just celebrated our second wedding anniversary. :)

So yes, long-distance relationships can be successful - but I won't kid you about it being easy. The times apart were the hardest, and the nights were especially lonely. We'd talk for about 3-4 hours a day on average, but even so it was very hard not being able to be physically close. And it's not just sex, but the normal intimacy you have in a relationship. We couldn't cuddle or hold hands, or anything at all. Even now, sometimes I'll just reach out and touch him and whisper "wow, you're really real".

These relationships can work - but you have to be prepared to stick with it. Be prepared for some tough times, too, but it's worth it in the end.

I'm another success story on the long-distance relationship thing.

I'm an Australian, my husband is American (16,500 kilometres). We met in February 2002 via the internet (NOT a dating service, but through a website of mutual interest) and really hit it off. We talked through MSN and webcam for four months before our first face-to-face meeting when I visited him in July, at which point our feelings became well cemented. We remained in an exclusive relationship during our internet courtship and managed two more actual vistits (he came to Aust. for Christmas and then the following March) before I travelled to the US in June to stay permanently.

We were married that October and have just celebrated our second wedding anniversary. :)

So yes, long-distance relationships can be successful - but I won't kid you about it being easy. The times apart were the hardest, and the nights were especially lonely. We'd talk for about 3-4 hours a day on average, but even so it was very hard not being able to be physically close. And it's not just sex, but the normal intimacy you have in a relationship. We couldn't cuddle or hold hands, or anything at all. Even now, sometimes I'll just reach out and touch him and whisper "wow, you're really real".

These relationships can work - but you have to be prepared to stick with it. Be prepared for some tough times, too, but it's worth it in the end.
Congratulations. :)

I wish you all the best life has to offer!!

Congratulations. :)

I wish you all the best life has to offer!!


Thanks. :D We've done pretty well so far.

I was in one for like... 9 months. And, well, compared to the other stories, that's not that long a time. But I've only been in two serious relationships. The other lasting 1.5 years.

Anyway, yes, communication and whatnot. However, I believe in keeping the relationship exclusive. We did it, and it was a most lovely relationship. Do not feel afraid to express concerns, as that is what eventually got us (my fault). I just... was too untrusting, and it resulted in a heavy, heavy loss.

Between the two girls I was in a serious relationship with, I would take the online girl over the real life one any day. My foolishness and impatience did away with what could have been the best thing in my life.

Ah well. Woe is t3h m3.

Long distance relationships can certainly work and be quite fulfilling, if a little frustrating at time (but the same can be said of any relationship, really), I find that you really need different 'rules' to make it work, though, in comparison to more conventional relationships.

I've been in a primarily long-distance relationship for over 2 and a half years now (getting on 3, in fact) and it's been most great. My boyfriend is going to Uni over in the States at the moment, so we only see each other rarely, but we're in contact almost every day with the interweb and telephone and we post each other presents quite frequently. But - and this is what allows us to keep it working well, I think - we have no delusions about either of us being able to stay sexually monogamous, so we agreed that it'd be fine for us to have sex with anyone we wanted while we're apart (and even when we're together, if we both agree to the person in question).

So it works well for us, and I think it's a good formula, but each relationship is different, of course.

I'm another success story on the long-distance relationship thing.

I'm an Australian, my husband is American (16,500 kilometres). We met in February 2002 via the internet (NOT a dating service, but through a website of mutual interest) and really hit it off. We talked through MSN and webcam for four months before our first face-to-face meeting when I visited him in July, at which point our feelings became well cemented. We remained in an exclusive relationship during our internet courtship and managed two more actual vistits (he came to Aust. for Christmas and then the following March) before I travelled to the US in June to stay permanently.

We were married that October and have just celebrated our second wedding anniversary. :)

So yes, long-distance relationships can be successful - but I won't kid you about it being easy. The times apart were the hardest, and the nights were especially lonely. We'd talk for about 3-4 hours a day on average, but even so it was very hard not being able to be physically close. And it's not just sex, but the normal intimacy you have in a relationship. We couldn't cuddle or hold hands, or anything at all. Even now, sometimes I'll just reach out and touch him and whisper "wow, you're really real".

These relationships can work - but you have to be prepared to stick with it. Be prepared for some tough times, too, but it's worth it in the end.


Congratulations!!

I am in a very similar situation, we met through Nationstates and he was in Canada and I in the UK. We spent HUGE amounts of time on MSN and the telephone (sometimes 7 hours at a time) We talked like this for several months and then he took the plunge and got on a plane to come meet me. I know its a cliche but we fell into each others arms like we knew each other for years and we both knew it was the right thing. He went back to Canada and started to make plans, visa applications etc..and he moved here 5 months later. I have to agree that communication is the key, I know him so well and he knows me, we talked so much, as it was all that we had. He knows my heart and soul and we shared everything with each other. Honesty and openness are key. We did have times when it was horribly hard (like the time my ex husband threatened to kill me and he was thousands of miles away and felt powerless and frustrated) But he was always there to listen to me, even though the time difference is a total **** and I became a nocturnal creature, as he and I would often talk on the phone until 5am my time. Our phone bills were HUGE!

I had friends with concerns about this relationship, but I always answered them with the fact that if I met him in a bar and gone out on a date with him, then I would have known less about him than I did after talking for 6 months first.

My advice to you then is this....talk, total honesty and openness.

Good luck and happiness.

My predicament isn't unique in its nature then...I have sort of fallen for a 15-yo guy (and yes, I am a guy as well) I chat with on MSN...we met through Elftown (art website), and we really clicked (very similar personalities and interests, something I rarely find in a person...plus good looks ^^)...problem is, he lives in Sweden, I study in the UK...big help :rolleyes: Spend a lot of time chatting to him on MSN though. The other thing is I am not sure if he is interested in me without meeting me...and also the fact that I am 19. So far I have been visiting forums he has asked me to to get closer to him, and he wants me to play World of Warcraft with him when the expansion comes out as two Blood elves or something :p . We have agreed to meet up when I go to Sweden in a few years, so I will keep contact with him until such time...I just hope he doesn't fall for someone else (I mean seriously...not just casual, one-off relationships...casual sex is a different story) in the meantime. No guarantee that I won't though :headbang:

I'm afraid that I have nothing to offer this thread. I've never been in a long distance, or even a local, relationship. And I never intend too. Relationships are just too time consuming. Course it's all well and good if spent on the right person, but the problem is finding the right person. I'd rather just not go through the wasted time and heartache of dating. I think I'll focus my life on my work and education.

Well, I've been in one for about 2 years now. And to be honest, the distance itself only was a minor problem...

It can work, sure, why not? The interestig thing about starting a relationship like that online rather than getting to know the person face to face straight away is that you get to know them very, very well very, very fast. As communication is the only thing driving a relationship like that, you end up being very much informed and very much involved in whatever the other person is doing. I do enjoy that, to be honest. It is a bit like learning about a person's heart before learning about anything else...

I'm afraid that I have nothing to offer this thread. I've never been in a long distance, or even a local, relationship. And I never intend too. Relationships are just too time consuming. Course it's all well and good if spent on the right person, but the problem is finding the right person. I'd rather just not go through the wasted time and heartache of dating. I think I'll focus my life on my work and education.

Well, that's a depressing attitude to have.

Anyway, thanks to everyone for their advice and good wishes.


My hopes and dreams have been high for 4.5 years and we are getting married in less than 2 months.

Congratulations!

DidjawannanotherbeerWe were married that October and have just celebrated our second wedding anniversary

Congratulations to you, too!

I'm afraid that I have nothing to offer this thread. I've never been in a long distance, or even a local, relationship. And I never intend too. Relationships are just too time consuming. Course it's all well and good if spent on the right person, but the problem is finding the right person. I'd rather just not go through the wasted time and heartache of dating. I think I'll focus my life on my work and education.

I agree to some extend. I've never really seen much point in dating. I see it as fun now and then, but I don't fool myself into believing that I could meet a partner that way. Too much tension, too much focus on the other person, way too much effort to being "romantic" and far too little time to get to know someone the way I like to know people.

i agree , that the distance is no problem cause my beloved has no fear to fly in a plane, like I have ;)

i agree , that the distance is no problem cause my beloved has no fear to fly in a plane, like I have ;)

*lol
Aren't you lucky... ;)

-snip-
:fluffle: This thread has been pretty encouraging in general, has it not? I mean, we know how hard it will be but we've talked about it and both think it's worth it.

we also talk for a long time usually (on msn), often for over 2 or 3 hours (pretty intensively too).
Hehe, yep, intensive to say the least... :p

i'm not sure if thats possible or not, but i sure as hell am going to try (and so is she) :)
Of course :)

it also helps that she's "only" 60 miles or so away, so i can drive & visit relatively often (once a few things are sorted out)
Oh, I can't wait until things are sorted out...
*has begun a letter type thing - will talk to you later about it*

I think long-distance relationships can work, but they can be hard work. I'm in one at the moment. Granted its only been 6 months but thats still half a year :D

Sigh.

I one at the moment. Though she doesn't have access to the internet, go that is a whole lot of ways of communicating out the window.

So we compensate with lots and lots of letters. And I phone her when ever I can. Seems to work.

The only problem it isn't easy to visit her because she is in out in the sticks in France so I need to take about 3 days (there and back journeys combined) just to see her, and I don't have the time. Nor the money really either :(

Have managed to see her though, and at least she is comming back for Christmas.

Define "follow your heart," please.
Heart, as in spirit. Too often, in my life, I let my head over-rule my heart. Being that I purposely embarked on a long distance relationship in the first place, I have received lots of "advice" from my friends and family, and not surprisingly much of this "advice" is not totally supportive of what I want to do.

Today, my heart leads and my mind follows. I like where I am going....no I love where I am going. :)

I hope that helps?

The only problem it isn't easy to visit her because she is in out in the sticks in France so I need to take about 3 days (there and back journeys combined) just to see her, and I don't have the time. Nor the money really either :(


Wow. You win the suckiest situation award. And some brownies.

Has anyone ever had a successful long-distance exclusive relationship? Or even, I guess, an unsuccessful one?

The reason I ask is because I've just entered one. If anyone remembers this thread, (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=449949) but it's the same girl (that's a thread in which I sought advice about if it was advisable for me to go 300 miles on the chance I would get laid, for those of you too lazy to click the link. short version: vidi, vici, veni;) If I could conjugate latin, I'd also add a "she came" at the end there, but I can't.) I've spent at least an hour every day talking to her since then (then being last weekend), mostly through msnmessenger and text messages.

One thing that's changed about my situation since that last thread: I'm no longer at uni in manchester, I'm now back at home with my parents in Cornwall. I'm going back to restart uni next year (almost certainly not at manchester, though) and this girl and I are applying to three of the same universities. I like her a lot, and if I could keep this relationship working until september, that would be fantastic.

Anyway, if anyone has some advice on long distance relationships and how to make them work, that would be greatly appreciated. Or even horror stories where it all went wrong that we can all laugh at, because comedy is always welcome.

Thanks in advance, general forumites!


All of my relationships have been long-distance and I don't know if I'd call it successful or unsuccessful... it's really hard, but it is possible with cooperation from both... you have to be really committed. It does work though, as long as you love the person enough!

I'm in Australia and my guy is in England (good for frequent flyer points). We've been together for almost two years but he left to work in England 5 months ago. We're still going strong and although its gets tough sometimes, it's never crossed my mind to end it.

On the other hand, my previous relationship ended because I moved from the Western Australia side to the Queenland (fly 5 hrs East). THAT relationship lasted under 2 months because of jealousy and mistrust between both of us. Neither of us put any effort into saving the relationship.

Bottom line: If you "love" that person or cherish that person or whever you want to call it.. if its enough, it won't seem like work - you'd spend the hours infront of the computer until you become a hunch back without a second thought. But this has to go both ways for it to work.

Anyway, that's my two cents worth.

To those who doubt the success of long distance relationships, I say: oh, ye of little faith.
I began a relationship with my girlfriend two years ago: I live in Southern Ontario, she lived in Northern Utah. On November 4, 2003, we considered ourselves "boyfriend/girlfriend".
A year later, she announces that she wants to come live with me. She's only just turned 17, however, and cannot do that. For you see, her mother was very abusive towards her (Mormons*rolls eyes*).
So, we wait, my poor girl is getting abused quite seriously, but after counting down the days, waiting and waiting, it all paid off: on her 18th birthday, August 26th, 2005, she flew to the Buffalo Airport, and I took her home with me. She is currently living with me, has been for almost three months, and we have yet to experience a problem: we are in a wonderful relationship, and we both love each other very much. I may be only 17, but even when I was 15 I knew what love was: I found it, 3000 kilometers away. So, to answer the question of this thread: a long distance relationship CAN work out in the end, as long as you are committed to it and you ensure that you will see each other eventually, of course. Making sure she's for real is also a good idea.

No. Noone has. Don't try it.

It used to be that a long distance relationship was a recipe for a dating disaster. However, things have changed. With the rise of cell phones, sms (text messaging), instant messaging, unlimited mobile to mobile plans, email, webcams, digital cameras, and other technology, this is no longer the case. I know several people who have had long distance relationships that culminated in marriage, including a few who started the relationship long distance (via internet). The best way to maintain a relationship is still in person, but long distance relationships are no longer automatic relationship killers like they were only a few years ago.

It used to be that a long distance relationship was a recipe for a dating disaster. However, things have changed. With the rise of cell phones, sms (text messaging), instant messaging, unlimited mobile to mobile plans, email, webcams, digital cameras, and other technology, this is no longer the case. I know several people who have had long distance relationships that culminated in marriage, including a few who started the relationship long distance (via internet). The best way to maintain a relationship is still in person, but long distance relationships are no longer automatic relationship killers like they were only a few years ago.
Wrong. That is all.

Wrong. That is all.

I know at least 5 people for whom it has worked out (10 people if you count each one's significant other). The latest is my last roomate who will be moving to another state to marry his girlfriend in January after having maintained the relationship for 2 years long distance. The earliest is someone I know who will be celebrating her 7th wedding anniversary next year and met her husband through the internet (where they maintained a long distance relationship before moving in together and eventually getting married).

I know at least 5 people for whom it has worked out (10 people if you count each one's significant other). The latest is my last roomate who will be moving to another state to marry his girlfriend in January after having maintained the relationship for 2 years long distance. The earliest is someone I know who will be celebrating her 7th wedding anniversary next year and met her husband through the internet (where they maintained a long distance relationship before moving in together and eventually getting married).
Their relationships are doomed to failure...

Their relationships are doomed to failure...

They survived the difficult part, why would their relationship be doomed to failure now that they are back together? Unless you were reffering only to the ones who actually met on the internet, but they have been married for 7 years now, which is slightly longer than the average amount of time divorced couples were married before they were divorced, which means that even if they do end up divorced some day, their marriage was still more successful than the average. The other couple I know who met online has been married for less than 4 years, so I'll leave them out of this even though there are no signs of trouble since they have yet to reach the critical 6th year.

They survived the difficult part, why would their relationship be doomed to failure now that they are back together? Unless you were reffering only to the ones who actually met on the internet, but they have been married for 7 years now, which is slightly longer than the average amount of time divorced couples were married before they were divorced, which means that even if they do end up divorced some day, their marriage was still more successful than the average. The other couple I know who met online has been married for less than 4 years, so I'll leave them out of this even though there are no signs of trouble since they have yet to reach the critical 6th year.

You do know you may as well be this guy:headbang: for all the success you'll have making Rotovia change his mind, don't you?

Cheered me up, though

Noone has.
isn't katganistan another one who's met her SO/husband over the net and got a long distance relationship to work? thats pretty weird if it doesn't work for anybody... and then you gotta read the rest of this thread too and it seems like its working for a fair few people...

Wow. You win the suckiest situation award. And some brownies.

Thank you. I think. :confused:


Hmm, brownies, *drools*

isn't katganistan another one who's met her SO/husband over the net and got a long distance relationship to work? thats pretty weird if it doesn't work for anybody... and then you gotta read the rest of this thread too and it seems like its working for a fair few people...
Probally not. Sounds like a lie. Face it. My short sentences are pure truth. DOOMED

No. Noone has. Don't try it.

Wrong. That is all.....

Their relationships are doomed to failure...

Probally not. Sounds like a lie. Face it. My short sentences are pure truth. DOOMED

Gee, I think I know how Rotovia got to over 3,000 posts - it's by coming into a thread, apparently not reading a single post in it apart from the first (otherwise he'd have read all the success stories, including my own, cited in this thread) and just spamming/trolling for the hell of it. If you don't have anything concrete or constructive to say, why say it?

Gee, I think I know how Rotovia got to over 3,000 posts - it's by coming into a thread, apparently not reading a single post in it apart from the first (otherwise he'd have read all the success stories, including my own, cited in this thread) and just spamming/trolling for the hell of it. If you don't have anything concrete or constructive to say, why say it?
Aaawww isn't that sweet. Bubey thinks he's being smart. I got over 3,000 posts about a month ago, so bang goes your theory. As to my destructive criticism. I refuse to dedicate more then a couple words to a stupidity of people assuming that they will fall into a narrow, narrow minority of long distance relationships that work.

Even relationships that -under normal circumstance- could be long term, are ruined by the lack of proximity. But the overwhelming majority are short term relationships, needlessly dragged out by nothing short a miracle concentration of poor judgement.

Considering that gay, straight or bi, chances are there are dozens of people you meet everyday which could potentially be a create relationship, Why waste time on a relationship where the nurture and communication is strained and statistics are weighed against, when you have other options.

Now, I say this with extreme hypocrisy. Having -to this day- maintained a casual long term relationship, myself. However, given we both are free to see other people. I'd hardly class it in the same category.

Finally, I've been on this forum for over 2 1/2 years. If I want continue an in joke, I will do so. If you have a problem with that, find another forum.

dammit, I had a long reply typed out describing my relationships, and basically claiming the 'suckiest situation award' (u can keep the brownies Anarchic Conceptions).

Bottom line, my first one didnt work, and my second one looks like its going down the drain :(


Both at a distance of england to new zealand

I recently got out of one that went on for almost two years, and let me tell you, I never want to do that again. He left me for someone else online after he said distance killed our relationship. >>

-Asylum Nova

He left me for someone else online after he said distance killed our relationship. >>

-Asylum Nova

What a bastard. At least my girlfriend left me for a bloke who was actually there.

DOOMED
omg i never thought about that arguement before... yup, you sure convinced me there ;)
the one-word arguement is even more potent than the one-liner :eek:

Just thought of something else....

My parent's relationship has been long distance two times. Once before getting married, once soon after getting married. Both times there were hours away from each other, each living alone, seeing each other once a fortnight or less. Each time it lasted for months, a year perhaps. They're still together now after 28 (I think) years of marriage.

I don't think I could live with a really really long distance relationship, especially with time differences and everything. I couldn't keep it up for a long period of time.

But when it's only an hours drive, I can live with that for a few years, and hopefully after that situations would change. Either way, convenience doesn't affect how much you love someone. (And love conquers all! :fluffle:)

Well, if Rotovia is right my relationship has been doomed for two years now and counting... :rolleyes:

I'm no longer at uni in manchester
I can't answer the rest of the initial post (no experience, see?) but I have to say to the quoted bit - holy fuck dude, you were at manchester? COME BACK AND PARTAY!

Well, if Rotovia is right my relationship has been doomed for two years now and counting... :rolleyes:

Yeah, apparently my marriage is all a sham, too, and any minute now we'll be getting a divorce because we started out as a long-distance relationship. :rolleyes: Because, of course, according to Rotovia "no one" (or as he spelled it, noone) has ever had a successful long distance relationship.

Mind you, I'm rapidly reaching the conclusion that Rotovia likes to spout opinion as hard and fast fact and simply ignores any input that doesn't agree with his view... (I just came from a thread where he steadfastly refuted official dictionary definitions of the word 'defenstration' in favour of his own personal definition).

I can't answer the rest of the initial post (no experience, see?) but I have to say to the quoted bit - holy fuck dude, you were at manchester? COME BACK AND PARTAY!

I am planning a return trip in December. For the express purposes of extreme drunkeness.

But when it's only an hours drive, I can live with that for a few years, and hopefully after that situations would change. Either way, convenience doesn't affect how much you love someone. (And love conquers all! :fluffle:)
good :D :fluffle: :fluffle: