NationStates Jolt Archive


Going to write a novel

Avika
20-11-2005, 21:59
I'm going to work on my next novel soon and I need some feedback.

It's about a man and his girlfriend in a society that revolves around their main religion, which, although unnamed as of now, revolves around their goddess Ca and her teachings. Basicly, it's like Christianity or Islam or whatever with some twists. This religion has been persecuted because it was different. It advocated peace over war and sacrifice for the greater gain over shortterm pleasures. It's a made-up religion that revolves around followers working hard for great gains. These beliefs contradicted the other, more shortsighted religions and has caused great suffering. The two main protaganists eventually meet a hero who disappeared decades ago only to return unaged. They also find an isolated group of people on some small islands who are fascinated by the protagonists.

Some things affecting the plot:
The conflict between the followers of Ca and their enemies didn't start until near the end of the massive war that happened decades ago. They were allies who fought against a brutal invading force. Once victory was assured, the main antagonists turned against the followers of Ca.

The male protagonist was literally stabbed in the back and survived.

The hero(not the main characters) disappeared not long before the betrayel.

The main character's girlfriend is a priestess at the beginning of the story who works her way up to Ca priestess. While priests and priestesses are low on the social ladder(ranked only above killers and rapists), Ca priests and priestesses are ranked higher than world leaders and saints. That is one example of "sacrifice for a greater gain".

priests and priestesses have to make long journeys in restrictive skirts in order to reach the rank of Ca priest/priestess. The first of which is a journey to the Ca Temple and the Temple's trials.

Comments? Quick feedback?
Argesia
20-11-2005, 22:00
Your NEXT novel?!
Avika
20-11-2005, 22:04
Yeah. My next novel, although this one will probably get to by my first one to be finished.
Arathania
20-11-2005, 22:08
i'm not an expert on novels or anything, but i am writen my own so i must know sumthin..

anyways i think the story has alot of potential with politics religion and a new culture, as well as being able to point out flaws of real world politics and religions via fake ones.

to make a real judgement though u wud have to explain it to me in real detail
Argesia
20-11-2005, 22:08
Yeah. My next novel, although this one will probably get to by my first one to be finished.
You know, since an unfinished novel may consist of just a word, we are all prolific novelists.
In fact, your post was a quite lengthy novel. Good job!
Secluded Trepidation
20-11-2005, 22:12
I'm going to work on my next novel soon and I need some feedback.

It's about a man and his girlfriend in a society that revolves around their main religion, which, although unnamed as of now, revolves around their goddess Ca and her teachings. Basicly, it's like Christianity or Islam or whatever with some twists. This religion has been persecuted because it was different. It advocated peace over war and sacrifice for the greater gain over shortterm pleasures. It's a made-up religion that revolves around followers working hard for great gains. These beliefs contradicted the other, more shortsighted religions and has caused great suffering. The two main protaganists eventually meet a hero who disappeared decades ago only to return unaged. They also find an isolated group of people on some small islands who are fascinated by the protagonists.

Some things affecting the plot:
The conflict between the followers of Ca and their enemies didn't start until near the end of the massive war that happened decades ago. They were allies who fought against a brutal invading force. Once victory was assured, the main antagonists turned against the followers of Ca.

The male protagonist was literally stabbed in the back and survived.

The hero(not the main characters) disappeared not long before the betrayel.

The main character's girlfriend is a priestess at the beginning of the story who works her way up to Ca priestess. While priests and priestesses are low on the social ladder(ranked only above killers and rapists), Ca priests and priestesses are ranked higher than world leaders and saints. That is one example of "sacrifice for a greater gain".

priests and priestesses have to make long journeys in restrictive skirts in order to reach the rank of Ca priest/priestess. The first of which is a journey to the Ca Temple and the Temple's trials.

Comments? Quick feedback?


Ok. As a fellow aspiring writer, I'm gonna try to help you out here. The basic plot structure you have here seems pretty interesting. The idea of the "Ca" religion is an original one. I just have a few questions...

Ok, who is this hero guy? Why is he a hero/ what did he do to make him a hero? And what does he have to do with the plot?

And I'm also confused a bit about the Ca priest thing... when you say they are more highly regarded than world leaders... are you saying that even the non-Ca's regard them as so? Or do just the followers of Ca do this?

Ok... and I'm a bit confused as to what the actually plot is... Do you have it figured out yet, or was this just a sketch of ideas?

I think you have a good thing going here... it just needs developed more... :)
Avika
20-11-2005, 22:17
Man and woman are boyfriend and girlfriend. They have to go on long journeys because their religion tells them that hard work brings great rewards. That concept alone has caused their persecution because other peoples didn't like it. man and woman won't convert because their religion brings them joy and they don't want to live a life of laziness and shortsightedness. Along the way, they meet great hero. Since the great hero hasn't been around since before the persecutions began, he's friendly towards man and woman. Man's and woman's journey takes them places, like an isolated island community and a creepy island which has a deserted town whose inhabitants just disappeared with no signs of violence or people leaving. Everything is set up like there were people there less than a second ago. Now, I think I revealed too much.
Mooseica
20-11-2005, 22:39
It sounds pretty good, I'm quite interested. Just a few questions though:

1. What sort of time-frame are you setting it in? Past? Present? Future?

2. Are you thinking of making it fantasy type setting? With magic et al? Or just regular world?

3. What exactly is the plot here? You didn't make it quite clear.
Terecia
20-11-2005, 23:14
You spelled betrayal wrong :)
Argesia
20-11-2005, 23:16
You spelled betrayal wrong :)
What about Basicly?
Avika
20-11-2005, 23:22
Every priest and priestess has to go on some type of journey in order to become a Ca priest/priestess.

The social ladder for the Ca followers is exlusive to them. It's kinda like how India's social system doesn't matter in America, unless you're an American India...n. Damn Indian confusion. This is why Crayola doesn't use Indain Red. Although the color originated in India, the Politically Correct retards made them change it to avoid "upsetting Native Americans".

I might reveal why the hero is a hero in the novel. As of now, not even I know why he's a hero.

plot: A man and woman go on journey because it is required to achieve their goal. Stuff happens. More stuff happens. Events follow. The end.
Avika
21-11-2005, 18:15
My novels coming along nicely. Here's what I have so far:

I sit here waiting. Dawn has arrived and I am ready for the day. As I wait for Kahihhika, I look back. I look at my scars and remember the war. Those bloody years two score ago. Horrible, horrible times. I remember to grow and strengthen.

I peer out the window. The town's come to life. It's barely morning and the streets are already clogged with people. It's amazing how clogged the streets are. Only a few thousand trust us. Thousands out of millions. Drops in a lake.

Finally, Kahihhika arrives.


Any comments?
Cluichstan
21-11-2005, 18:23
Wow...only about 100,000 more words to go...
Eurasia and Oceana
21-11-2005, 18:38
Not a good start in my opinion. My first impression of that character was a bitter social pariah, slightly crazy in the head, always going on about 'the war'.
Letila
21-11-2005, 19:30
I'm also writing a novel. Interesting idea you have so far.
Avika
22-11-2005, 17:46
Almost done with chapter 1. Haven't chosen a title yet.
Legless Pirates
22-11-2005, 17:50
Any hookers in it?
Cluichstan
22-11-2005, 17:52
Any hookers in it?

It's not great literature without hookers.
Letila
22-11-2005, 18:30
It's not great literature without hookers.

Nonsense, I'm working on a novel that's completely hooker-free. They help, but they are hardly necessary for a good novel.
Avika
22-11-2005, 18:39
Nonsense, I'm working on a novel that's completely hooker-free. They help, but they are hardly necessary for a good novel.
Indeed. I'm not working on a story for a Grand Theft Auto game. It's a story about a man and a woman on a journey. They are members of a religion that preaches sacrifise for a greater gain over short-term highs that are followed by long-term suffering. The followers basicly fall into their own race because of the millennia of racism they've experienced. It's about having to work hard for long-term happiness, not hookers. Sex is not a sacrifise and std's are not long-term happiness.
Cluichstan
22-11-2005, 18:50
No hookers, no read. :p
Legless Pirates
22-11-2005, 18:56
Indeed. I'm not working on a story for a Grand Theft Auto game. It's a story about a man and a woman on a journey. And they don't meet hookers? Is this Utopia or something? They are members of a religion that preaches sacrifise for a greater gain You sacrifise some money to releave your stress over short-term highs that are followed by long-term suffering. Wear a condom. And some people would say that marriage is the long term suffering The followers basicly fall into their own race because of the millennia of racism they've experienced. There's hookers in all races It's about having to work hard for long-term happiness, not hookers. Hookers don't work hard? Sex is not a sacrifise and std's are not long-term happiness. As I said: wear a condom. And sex for hookers is work
There. Your book needs hookers
Letila
22-11-2005, 19:23
Well my story is cooler. It's about a woman created by a secret organization from an ancient bioengineered relic with orgonomic powers. She discovers that morality is a constructed foisted on us by a being called the Megamachine to restrain our potential and must create her own standards and values ex nihilo with only her own heart to guide her. Realizing that even privileging life over death or truth over falsehood has no actual basis, she enters dispair until she summons the courage to overcome her doubts and create her own reasons for living. And there are action-packed space battles using bioships, too. And a variety of coffee-based foods as well.
Avika
23-11-2005, 00:52
Well my story is cooler. It's about a woman created by a secret organization from an ancient bioengineered relic with orgonomic powers. She discovers that morality is a constructed foisted on us by a being called the Megamachine to restrain our potential and must create her own standards and values ex nihilo with only her own heart to guide her. Realizing that even privileging life over death or truth over falsehood has no actual basis, she enters dispair until she summons the courage to overcome her doubts and create her own reasons for living. And there are action-packed space battles using bioships, too. And a variety of coffee-based foods as well.
Ummm, good luck with that. I'm finished with chapter 1. Chapter 2 is currently being written. Basoc;y, in chapter 2, the two protagonists(man's name is Hhokeke. Woman's name is Kahihhika. HH is a heavier, thicker version of h. It's more of a hiss) have to go through a series of trials(challenges, not legal cases) in order to rise in social rank. Basicly, social rank is determined by hard work, honesty, and all that jazz instead of money.