NationStates Jolt Archive

For some odd reason, people seem to think that most Christians out there have this wierd thing with God, that God is like Social Security, that He will babysit you and so on and so forth.
Explaining the actual attitude of many Christians would be a pain, and, of course, a waste of a chance to use a joke.
Anyway, this, I think, shows quite accuratly what most Christians think.

It had been raining for days and days, and a terrible flood had come over the land. The waters rose so high that one man was forced to climb onto the roof of his house.

As the waters rose higher and higher, a man in a rowboat appeared, and told him to get in. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the man in the rowboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.

The waters rose higher and higher, and suddenly a speedboat appeared. "Climb in!" shouted a man in the boat. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the man in the speedboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.

The waters continued to rise. A helicopter appeared and over the loudspeaker, the pilot announced he would lower a rope to the man on the roof. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the helicopter went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.

The waters rose higher and higher, and eventually they rose so high that the man on the roof was washed away, and the poor man drowned.

Upon arriving in heaven, the man marched straight over to God. "Heavenly Father," he said, "I had faith in you, I prayed to you to save me, and yet you did nothing. Why?" God gave him a puzzled look, and replied "I sent you two boats AND a helicopter, what else did you want?"

Of course, this does not cover all Christians, there are some people out there who do stupid things similar to the guy in the joke, but they are a minority.

good one, I think I will tell it in Sunday school tomorrow. Thanks;)

It's a good'un. But is that really the only way you see God acting in the modern world?

God works in mysterious ways. I was bowling with Him last week and He revealed to me that He was smashed when He created Earth.

No, this is God in a nutshell:

God: Help! I'm in a nutshell! How did I get into this bloody great big nutshell? What kind of shell has a nut like this?

No, this is God in a nutshell:

God: Help! I'm in a nutshell! How did I get into this bloody great big nutshell? What kind of shell has a nut like this?

funny. god cant bust a nut...:p

hehe

God: Help! I'm in a nutshell! How did I get into this bloody great big nutshell? What kind of shell has a nut like this?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/8/8b/Austin_Powers.jpg/250px-Austin_Powers.jpg

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/8/8b/Austin_Powers.jpg/250px-Austin_Powers.jpg

Bingo!

Bingo!

I'm disturbingly good at recognising references.

I just don't understand why some people are like the guy in that story. Is there some abstract interpretation from the Bible that they use or are they just uneducated?
I used to go to school with a really wierd guy, Jehovah's Witness I think. Because of his religious beliefs he wasn't allowed to learn about sex or Aboriginal culture. I know there's freedom of religion but this is just going too far. The one thing I hate most about religious people (this isn't all religious poeple) is that they don't like it when you question their beliefs. They'll aregue with you over politics, economics, science, etc. But when it comes to God,
"NO! you can't question my beliefs. They're sacred and all of your reasoning is worth nothing to God because he is almighty and even if you can show beyond reasonable doubt that he doesn't exist, he still can because he's God. So let's just not talk about the issue because I get very touchy on the matter. Besides, it's none of your business how I interpret my religion. Since you can't prove me wrong you'll just have to accept whatever my beliefs are." I really hate that.

I just don't understand why some people are like the guy in that story. Is there some abstract interpretation from the Bible that they use or are they just uneducated?
I used to go to school with a really wierd guy, Jehovah's Witness I think. Because of his religious beliefs he wasn't allowed to learn about sex or Aboriginal culture...

What the...crap?

What, dare I ask, does the Bible have to say about Aboriginis?

No idea, but I liked the reasoning of that post. Why do religious parents get to pick & choose what their kiddies are taught?

If I send my hypothetical kid to school with a note saying "Sorry but little Polyfilla can't attend history classes, 'cos I, as a responsible parent, won't risk her finding out the Holocaust really happened", how will the school react?

I have a feeling I'd have social workers knocking on my door, possibly police as well.

-shrugs- It's not the Aboriginis that are the "problem" it's that it's not Jehovah Witness. I don't understand them either. Nor do I understand people who get pissy when you question their beliefs.

I mean, the Bible says to question. Lesse...
Acts 17:11
Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.

Matthews 7:7
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

Anyway, two should be enough for any Christian. As... uhm... yeah, if you're a Christian then you believe fully what the Bible says, and if it says to ask and to search, then obviously those are good things to do.

So, righto, I don't understand. I rather like being questioned and asked about my faith.