NationStates Jolt Archive

PEOPLE OF NS

I ask your advise (preffebly a teen answers this)

Ok, theres this asshole who bothers me a lot in school. I am fed up with it, so I decided that on Monday, the next time he bothers me, I am going to suprise hit him & grab his neck. This would be a suprise because he thinks of me as a weaklend. Now, it may sound like I dont have a delema, but I do. When im in the office after the fight, how to I talk my self out of getting a Saturday School and lower the punishment im bound to get down to 3 detentions?

My administrator is a white female around 50-55yrs of age, She is low and down to Earth in a way. My school is strict about fights as well.

What do I do?

What do I do?Not start the fight in the first place?

Enjoy your expulsion.

In which way does that bully bother you? And what are your and his physical measurements?

PEOPLE OF NS

I ask your advise (preffebly a teen answers this)

Ok, theres this asshole who bothers me a lot in school. I am fed up with it, so I decided that on Monday, the next time he bothers me, I am going to suprise hit him & grab his neck. This would be a suprise because he thinks of me as a weaklend. Now, it may sound like I dont have a delema, but I do. When im in the office after the fight, how to I talk my self out of getting a Saturday School and lower the punishment im bound to get down to 3 detentions?

My administrator is a white female around 50-55yrs of age, She is low and down to Earth in a way. My school is strict about fights as well.

What do I do?

Lie, and claim it was self defense:

Point to all the past instances where he has harrased you and that the school did nothing to stop him. Go on to explain that you therefore felt that your hands were tied in this matter but you had no other choice but to defend yourself.

Saying that, he's probably going to kick you ass.

Just don't do it. Unless he's been threatening your person, in which case I think you could legitimately claim self defense.

With your current ideas on how to solve this... you're screwed.
Trust me, I've been through that before, and fighting is usually a good answer... except with all that "Zero Tolerance" BS they're putting in now.

Ten years ago, when I went through this at it's most intense part (in my life) I was lucky to have some very helpful teachers and other school faculty to keep me from being expelled. So reconsider, go talk to the principal, it's a much better option.

Now.. if you have to fight, don't grab his throat. That will almost definatly get twisted into aggrivated assault with intent to kill, and you don't want that.
Don't hit the bully, let the bully hit himself, understand? If you have to actually fight the bully, it will look MUCH better on you if you don't do anything damaging towards him, just avoid his strikes, or try and manipulate your way out.

Better to be beaten up and laughing then beat someone up and get punished.

1:Do you know where he lives?
2:Are you willing to bomb his house?
3:Are you aware of the possible legal ramifications of bombing his house?

If the answer to one and two is yes,and the answer to three is no,then bomb his house.

Olara']Just don't do it. Unless he's been threatening your person, in which case I think you could legitimately claim self defense.
I wouldn't count on that working.

what I would do is report him for bullying you, and then next time he does something, hit him. That way you have on record that he was previously harrassing you, and your self defense claim will go over much better.

I don't advocate fighting at all, but if you feel you must, cover your bases first, and be sure to be prepared because I think you might get injured.

The fear of being beaten up is worse than getting beaten up.
The saying- "A coward dies a thousand deaths"- is true.
Chances are, you defend yourself once from this douche and you may never have to get physical with someone again.
Cup your hand and smack him hard in the ear. This will take the fight out of him and a smack gets so much less punishment than a punch.

Dont let anyone bother you-anymore than simple innocent kidding. It will only escalate and they'll bring friends in on the fun. Put an end to it now. Getting in trouble for defending yourself? Its like a badge of honor.
And your parents should stick up for you anyway.
There are teachers that are supposed to keep you from being tormented-they arent doing their jobs. Dont think for a minute that an adult isnt aware of the abuse your taking.
Smack this douche in the head and then get a teacher and say "What-you dont see him doing this or that to me?"

Why the hell would you punch him? Sorry, but that's just retarded. People like you are the reason why teachers are always pestering us kids about being safe. It's people like you who cause teachers to be so strict that even play fighting in the halls to results in detention. So don't do it. And you know that you are really going to regret it if you do. One must think to the future. What do you think he'll do to you? Do you think he's just going to let you slide? Because if you to, you better think again.

In my experience, being an asshole usually doesn't get you in trouble legally, but assault does. In the end, the person that gets "convicted" of having landed the first blow will get the most trouble, the person being the only one to land blows gets almost all of it.

I would just do it, worst thing you get is suspended. Problem is, schools don't do crap about harassment. My only advice is try to wait till he throws the first punch then you destroy him. That usually ends things there. Only thing is, I wish someone had told me that when I had all that trouble in school. I spent so much time worrying about the rammification of taking out the bully that I put up with the abuse, which is far worce than any punishment a school system can deal out. For the record, the "zero tollereance" policy is the biggest bunch of shit that schools has come out with. Any sort of policy that punishes the victim as well as the aggressor is dead wrong.

What do I do?
You don't say what, exactly, he is doing to you. It would help greatly to know that. But I can advise you to not get into a fight. That would not only subject you to school discipline, it would lower you to his level.

I wouldn't count on that working.

what I would do is report him for bullying you, and then next time he does something, hit him. That way you have on record that he was previously harrassing you, and your self defense claim will go over much better.

I don't advocate fighting at all, but if you feel you must, cover your bases first, and be sure to be prepared because I think you might get injured.
Well, yeah. That's what I was getting at, only in a much-less-thought-out manner, apparently. Smunk gives you good advice.

I wouldn't count on that working.

what I would do is report him for bullying you, and then next time he does something, hit him. That way you have on record that he was previously harrassing you, and your self defense claim will go over much better.

I don't advocate fighting at all, but if you feel you must, cover your bases first, and be sure to be prepared because I think you might get injured.


Not that I advocate this, but I was picked on in grade school by the same guy for a few days in a row. It ended with me denting his skull a dozen times with a swingline stapler. He was bigger and having a great time bear hugging the breath out of me and trying to yank my underwear up my ass crack. I grabbed the stapler off the teachers desk and bashed his head until a teacher and custodian pulled me off. This kid didnt belong in school- he bothered everyone-he had been left back a few times and was shaving when the rest of the boys still sat to pee. A total douche.
He never bothered me again. Nor did anyone else. My father picked me up from the office. I had the kids blood on my shirt. I was supposed to be in trouble, but my father was there and turned it around- how was I being picked on if the teachers were doing their jobs? Other kids came foward to tell of times he abused them. I was a hero that day.
And I wasnt in trouble.

Not that I advocate this, but I was picked on in grade school by the same guy for a few days in a row. It ended with me denting his skull a dozen times with a swingline stapler. He was bigger and having a great time bear hugging the breath out of me and trying to yank my underwear up my ass crack. I grabbed the stapler off the teachers desk and bashed his head until a teacher and custodian pulled me off. This kid didnt belong in school- he bothered everyone-he had been left back a few times and was shaving when the rest of the boys still sat to pee. A total douche.
He never bothered me again. Nor did anyone else. My father picked me up from the office. I had the kids blood on my shirt. I was supposed to be in trouble, but my father was there and turned it around- how was I being picked on if the teachers were doing their jobs? Other kids came foward to tell of times he abused them. I was a hero that day.
And I wasnt in trouble.
I had a similar experience, I had a girl in junior high that harrassed me to the point that I just lost it, I decided next time she did something, I didn't care, I was just going to hurt her.

We were at the skating rink on a Friday night and she pulled me by the hair over the skate wall, I tried to hit her but she got up and ran away, I got up and calmly took my skate off, I skated on one skate over behind her where she was talking to her friends, and hit her with my left skate.

Nobody ever messed with me again, people are still afraid of me.

I learned 4 things from that experience
1 community service isn't fun
2 don't get kicked out of the only skating rink in town when there isn't anything else to do on a friday night (I still am not welcome back)
3 hospital bills are expensive (she had to get a tetnus shot and 6 stitches beccause my break was broke and the screw that was supposed to hold it on dug into her head)
4 fighting isn't worth it.

I got three days out once for fighting in school and let me tell you this: unless your parents are freaks, they probably won't stay angry at you for the entire three days, as boys will be boys and the occasional conflict is generally unavoidable. You'll get zeroes for the classes you were scheduled to attend, so if I were you I'd carefully plan the event so as to minimize the damage this incident may cause to your grades . Once your parents stop bitching, it'll be like having a paid vacation. It [i]owns.

Not that I advocate this, but I was picked on in grade school by the same guy for a few days in a row. It ended with me denting his skull a dozen times with a swingline stapler. He was bigger and having a great time bear hugging the breath out of me and trying to yank my underwear up my ass crack. I grabbed the stapler off the teachers desk and bashed his head until a teacher and custodian pulled me off. This kid didnt belong in school- he bothered everyone-he had been left back a few times and was shaving when the rest of the boys still sat to pee. A total douche.
He never bothered me again. Nor did anyone else. My father picked me up from the office. I had the kids blood on my shirt. I was supposed to be in trouble, but my father was there and turned it around- how was I being picked on if the teachers were doing their jobs? Other kids came foward to tell of times he abused them. I was a hero that day.
And I wasnt in trouble.


Remember, your situation isn't everyones.
I was bullied for years (As opposed to a few days?), and when I fought back, I got suspended for it.
Unless this guy wants to take the gamble that life will take the course yours took in this situation (A seri9us gamble with very bad odds at that) then I would still advocate him taking a more subtle approach. Let the bully get himself in trouble.


And of course, if the bully is physically abusive.. go to the cops, formally press charges. Wether or not he gets punished for it, the local School system will have to keep an eye on him in the future.

Report him for bullying first. If nothing changes, and he's harassing you, punch him as hard as you can in the gut. It's actually preferable if he's trying to physically abuse you, so that you can say it was in self defense. When you get called to the office, call your dad. Not your mom, your dad.

When I was complaining to my parents about several other students bullying me, my dad openly told me that if they laid a finger on me, I should get into a fight with them, even if I would lose. Even though I lost most of the fights I was in, none of the bullies or anyone else ever tried to abuse me again, as I got a reputation for taking no crap. I never got in very much trouble either, because those picking on me were usually well-known bullies who beat up other students.

I had a similar experience, I had a girl in junior high that harrassed me to the point that I just lost it, I decided next time she did something, I didn't care, I was just going to hurt her.

We were at the skating rink on a Friday night and she pulled me by the hair over the skate wall, I tried to hit her but she got up and ran away, I got up and calmly took my skate off, I skated on one skate over behind her where she was talking to her friends, and hit her with my left skate.

Nobody ever messed with me again, people are still afraid of me.

I learned 4 things from that experience
1 community service isn't fun
2 don't get kicked out of the only skating rink in town when there isn't anything else to do on a friday night (I still am not welcome back)
3 hospital bills are expensive (she had to get a tetnus shot and 6 stitches beccause my break was broke and the screw that was supposed to hold it on dug into her head)
4 fighting isn't worth it.
Dang! If I ever say something to make you mad, do me a favor and warn me so I can apologize or run, as the situation warrants. :p

My advice: Hire some Yugoslavians*. :mp5: :mp5:


*or some Albanians if you're broke (they agree to be paid with potatoes)



[I know this is not politically correct. All apologies to whoever I might have offended]

Olara']Dang! If I ever say something to make you mad, do me a favor and warn me so I can apologize or run, as the situation warrants. :p
I have learned not to get angry anymore. :)

It isn't very Christian-like to go around hitting people in the face with rollerskates either, so I had to cut that out post conversion:p

LOL Smunkeeville!

I had a few fights. One of which was a kid who kept calling me fat and kept running up to me, taking a punch then running away. On the way back in he wasn't paying attention to how close he was from me. He quickly realized how close he had gotten to a very pissed off guy when I landed three punches to his head. I didn't have too many problems for the rest of that school year. During that summer I moved away from that school system and the troubles ended. I didn't get into any trouble for this as the coach had seen what this kid was doing.

I am no teenager any longer, but I can give you an answer based on personal experience.

When you hit someone, you are not only guilty of starting problems, but you may actually cause the death of the person in question. Are you willing to do that? Of course you would not REALLY like to kill that person, even if it was "accidental" or "circumstantial". A single blow to the head can be enough to kill. It doesn't even have to be particularily hard blow.

My brother killed a man who had attacked our father. My brother being a self defense specialist (Judo, been national champion for 16 years now) had no intention of killing or seriously hurting the guy. He "only" passified him by blocking blood to his brain for half a minute... which would under normal circumstances have meant NOTHING at all, but in this case, it did. The guy was revived fortunately, but it was a close call.

If you want to start a fight, you should be willing to face the worst possible consequences. If you are attacked for no reason at all, you are (in my opinion) in your full right to fight back, but even in these cases, you can end up paralysing or killing people, and have your whole future destroyed.

Rule of thumb: Don't you EVER start a fight. If you can't fight with words, just walk away. There is no shame in doing so. During my late teens and early 20's, I had several people hospitalized with serious injuries, broken bones, faces and such. Not once did I encourage people to fight me, and only fought off those who thought of me as a fair game.

I have to live with the knowledge that I have destroyed some people's faces, and pestered their lives for years, just because they were drunk and attacked me. I don't like the things I have done... but in the moment I had my fights, I did not consider hitting with lesser punch... apart from the times when I was working as a security at outdoors concerts and had to man-handle people.

So: Don't use violence as your tool for communication.

My advice: Hire some Yugoslavians*. :mp5: :mp5:


*or some Albanians if you're broke (they agree to be paid with potatoes)



[I know this is not politically correct. All apologies to whoever I might have offended]
No, Bulgarians. Make sure they bring their ricin-dispensing umbrellas.

Seriously, if you feel you need to fight to defend yourself don't just hit him once and grab him by the throat. First of all he'll still be fighting back, second if you nail him too hard in the throat you could collapse his trachea and kill him.

First make sure that the administrators know that he's been messing with you. It will cover your ass when you get busted. Second, keep hitting him till he goes down, and don't stop hitting him just because he hits back. If you try to cover up without defending yourself you'll get clobbered. Don't step back. If you've got to get out of the way circle to the left or right. Good luck.

I am no teenager any longer, but I can give you an answer based on personal experience.

When you hit someone, you are not only guilty of starting problems, but you may actually cause the death of the person in question. Are you willing to do that? Of course you would not REALLY like to kill that person, even if it was "accidental" or "circumstantial". A single blow to the head can be enough to kill. It doesn't even have to be particularily hard blow.

My brother killed a man who had attacked our father. My brother being a self defense specialist (Judo, been national champion for 16 years now) had no intention of killing or seriously hurting the guy. He "only" passified him by blocking blood to his brain for half a minute... which would under normal circumstances have meant NOTHING at all, but in this case, it did. The guy was revived fortunately, but it was a close call.

If you want to start a fight, you should be willing to face the worst possible consequences. If you are attacked for no reason at all, you are (in my opinion) in your full right to fight back, but even in these cases, you can end up paralysing or killing people, and have your whole future destroyed.

Rule of thumb: Don't you EVER start a fight. If you can't fight with words, just walk away. There is no shame in doing so. During my late teens and early 20's, I had several people hospitalized with serious injuries, broken bones, faces and such. Not once did I encourage people to fight me, and only fought off those who thought of me as a fair game.

I have to live with the knowledge that I have destroyed some people's faces, and pestered their lives for years, just because they were drunk and attacked me. I don't like the things I have done... but in the moment I had my fights, I did not consider hitting with lesser punch... apart from the times when I was working as a security at outdoors concerts and had to man-handle people.

So: Don't use violence as your tool for communication.
Excellent advice, IMHO. :)

I wouldn't count on that working.

what I would do is report him for bullying you, and then next time he does something, hit him. That way you have on record that he was previously harrassing you, and your self defense claim will go over much better.

I don't advocate fighting at all, but if you feel you must, cover your bases first, and be sure to be prepared because I think you might get injured.
iSecond this advice.

Seriously, it seems as though it would work... however, I wouldn't recommend the use of violence in the first place.

Of course, you could publically start learning and practicing martial arts, and people will stay away from you...I know.... :p

find him out of school and do it, or claim he provoked you, either works really

PEOPLE OF NS

I ask your advise (preffebly a teen answers this)

Ok, theres this asshole who bothers me a lot in school. I am fed up with it, so I decided that on Monday, the next time he bothers me, I am going to suprise hit him & grab his neck. This would be a suprise because he thinks of me as a weaklend. Now, it may sound like I dont have a delema, but I do. When im in the office after the fight, how to I talk my self out of getting a Saturday School and lower the punishment im bound to get down to 3 detentions?

My administrator is a white female around 50-55yrs of age, She is low and down to Earth in a way. My school is strict about fights as well.

What do I do?
go to the administrator first, let her know how fed up you are, and remind her of all the problems bullies cause in school, and remind her what victims of bullying have been known to do, let her know you dont want to end up that way, and that you need her to assist you with this individual, and get him to stop bullying you. If the administrator refuses, tell her you will be bringing your parents into this.

Oh, and absolutely do not choke the person, because then you look like you're insane and trying to kill them, whereas if you punch them in the gut, you can always say you just wanted them to stop but they wouldn't.

Also, I'd only argue for a physical response if the person is physically bullying you. A common response to bullying that is not physical, just verbal, goes as follows: "Fuck off"

go to the administrator first, let her know how fed up you are, and remind her of all the problems bullies cause in school, and remind her what victims of bullying have been known to do, let her know you dont want to end up that way, and that you need her to assist you with this individual, and get him to stop bullying you. If the administrator refuses, tell her you will be bringing your parents into this.
bad idea, in the no tolerance world of schools now, that may be taken as some type of threat or "cry for help" and get you into even more trouble

I was thinking about this and if they really do have a zero tolerance policy on fighting, they probably have a similar policy on bully-ing too, so I stick to my "go rat him out and see what happens" advice.

fight only if you need to, it's like I tell my girls
"don't ever start a fight, but if someone starts one with you, finish it."

PEOPLE OF NS

I ask your advise (preffebly a teen answers this)

Ok, theres this asshole who bothers me a lot in school. I am fed up with it, so I decided that on Monday, the next time he bothers me, I am going to suprise hit him & grab his neck. This would be a suprise because he thinks of me as a weaklend. Now, it may sound like I dont have a delema, but I do. When im in the office after the fight, how to I talk my self out of getting a Saturday School and lower the punishment im bound to get down to 3 detentions?

My administrator is a white female around 50-55yrs of age, She is low and down to Earth in a way. My school is strict about fights as well.

What do I do?

I would advise several staff or teachers that you are having problems with him and may react to him physically if you feel threatened.
Usually warning third parties is a good cause of action as then he can not say 'They attacked me for no reason', they will say 'He told me/us he felt threatened, it was not a unprovoked action.
Also this way you are saying you will react with violence if threatened, not as a first action or because you are a prick.
Of course the best way is to ignore until he escalates it

I think it's far more likely that you are weaker than he is.

SO...

when you try to surprise him, you will be ineffective, and he'll pound you.
Then the teachers will come and YOU will get in trouble for starting it.
So you'll have some lumps and some trouble.

Not a good idea to start fights. I would not do it.

Smunkee gives some good advice - but I still wouldn't fight him.

The teenage years are very short. Soon, he will not exist in your life, because school will be over and you will move on.

PEOPLE OF NS

I ask your advise (preffebly a teen answers this)

Ok, theres this asshole who bothers me a lot in school. I am fed up with it, so I decided that on Monday, the next time he bothers me, I am going to suprise hit him & grab his neck. This would be a suprise because he thinks of me as a weaklend. Now, it may sound like I dont have a delema, but I do. When im in the office after the fight, how to I talk my self out of getting a Saturday School and lower the punishment im bound to get down to 3 detentions?

My administrator is a white female around 50-55yrs of age, She is low and down to Earth in a way. My school is strict about fights as well.

What do I do?


What you should do is continue with what your gonna do, even though you put yourself at risk it will get the message across that, "If you mess with me, I hurt you." But instead of grabbing his neck, you should just turn around, punch him in the face and run. Grabbing his neck will get you in trouble because you could end up damaging his throat. Actually, just punching him good hard in the face and running is probably the best. You have a lower risk of getting in trouble because if you get away there will be no fight, and then if he just jumps you later with friends then you can go to the office and turn um in. Plus, if this guy is as retarded as he sounds, he might go to the office and say you attacked him. Then you tell what happened, and he gets hit by his own plan.

Then when you are in the office, calmly but strongly explain he has been bothering you for a very long time, and even when you tried to talk it out he would keep bothering you and harrassing you. It will help a ton if you tried talking to an adult in the school about it and they didn't help, because then it will seem like you had to resort to the worst.

Or have your mom call and complain to the school, only tell her you and your friends. That way he can't come after only you. That way you lower your chances of getting in trouble more.

If your not the only victem, get all the other kids who are picked on, go down to the office, and complain. When they see this kid is hurting a large group of kids, they'll pull him aside and tell him to srtaighten up.


Good Luck buddy..........

(o and I am a teen by the way)