NationStates Jolt Archive

this is what i thought LG's thread was about :p

*phone rings*

yes? mister hit-man? i'm calling in that favour you owe me... i still have those pictures so shut up and do it :cool:


ok, so this hitman will do a job for each of you for free. if you could have anyone from all of history killed, who would it be?

edit: please not NSers cos that would be trolling, or flamebaiting, or something.... bad anyway :)

ok, so this hitman will do a job for each of you for free. if you could have anyone from all of history killed, who would it be?Adam, or Eve, or equivalent (the last common ancestor).
Muahaha!!

I'd say Hitler, but then I played Command and Conquer: Red Alert.

Um.

*wry grin*

Moses. That oughta fuck things up a bit.

Ooh! Ooh! Chrono-logic!

Adam, or Eve, or equivalent (the last common ancestor).
Muahaha!!
No can do. Since they also created the hitman, they must live. Your hitman will inevitably be either incompetent or be overcome by a sudden sense of guilt.

Karl Marx. That'd give 80% of the kids here fits. :D

Moses. That oughta fuck things up a bit.
This one's fine, but it won't fuck stuff up. Moses will inevitably do everything important before you can kill him.

I'd say Hitler, but then I played Command and Conquer: Red Alert.

:p


i'd keep it simple and go with maggie thatcher :P

or maybe go all the way back to the bloke who started conservatism


“The first man who, having enclosed a piece of ground, bethought himself of saying this is mine, and found people simple enough to believe him, was the real founder of civil society. From how many crimes, wars, and murders, from how many horrors and misfortunes might not any one have saved mankind, by pulling up the stakes, or filling up the ditch, and crying to his fellows: beware of listening to this impostor; you are undone if you once forget that the fruits of the earth belong to us all, and the earth itself to nobody”

yeah, that guy

Karl Marx. That'd give 80% of the kids here fits. :D
Again, either he'd have written his books beforehand or someone else will attribute them to him.


Basically, you can only kill people in the present or future or kill them in the past at a time when their deaths would be otherwise appropriate anyway.

Your hitman will inevitably be either incompetent or be overcome by a sudden sense of guilt.
hooray for quantom time travel BS :rolleyes: :p

Karl Marx. That'd give 80% of the kids here fits. :D

Yay! And maybe the mainstream left-wing would have been anarchist oriented instead. :p

No can do. Since they also created the hitman, they must live. Your hitman will inevitably be either incompetent or be overcome by a sudden sense of guilt.Then the premisse, "anyone from all of history", would be false. So I'm not worried.

look, ok, this hitman is god... well its Q from star trek, but he's omnipotent and he can do what the fuck he likes... so anyone from history, got it?? ;)

I don't care, as long as he does it with a toaster:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Doveofwar/75864d25.jpg

Bob Geldof

Hernando Cortez.

look, ok, this hitman is god... well its Q from star trek, but he's omnipotent and he can do what the fuck he likes... so anyone from history, got it?? ;)

anyone from history but you could rewrite history or change entire history by assassinating someone
like stopping JFKS assassination, could change the events of history..
changing one thing could lead to unspeakable changes in the timeline
Ever see that simpsons episode when homer fixes the toaster and creates a time machine goes back in time and steps on a bug and destroys his world in favor of a new one and keeps messing up the timeline everytime he goes back

Basically, you can only kill people in the present or future or kill them in the past at a time when their deaths would be otherwise appropriate anyway.

Why, Kamsaki? Pure Metal clearly said anyone from history. What's the matter - you never heard of alternate realities? Try reading Harry Turtledove's World at War series for how World War II might have gone if things had been different...

oh man this thread is turning heavy and ugly...

*waits for someone to crack a 'yo mamma' or some kind of '...my last girlfriend' joke :P *

Gustave Flaubert. I hate his writing.

*waits for someone to crack a 'yo mamma' or some kind of '...my last girlfriend' joke :P *Oh fine, let's shoot yo momma :p

Goodie! Timeline fucking!

This one's fine, but it won't fuck stuff up. Moses will inevitably do everything important before you can kill him.
How can you kill someone that's allready dead? He lived 2000 years ago duh!:headbang:

Why, Kamsaki? Pure Metal clearly said anyone from history. What's the matter - you never heard of alternate realities? Try reading Harry Turtledove's World at War series for how World War II might have gone if things had been different...
It's called causality! From your perspective, it is absolutely impossible for me to change the past, because your past is exactly what it always has been. The only way to kill a pre-1933 Hitler is to kill an alternate Hitler, which isn't the same as killing Hitler, since the Hitler you knew of in your own time will not have been killed by you.

But you can kill the Hitler. You just have to do it in the Berlin bunker in 1945.

Okay, you know what? I'll just assume that whenever you say someone in the past, you mean their counterpart in another hypothetical parallel dimension. Nobody seems to understand the nature of time, so I'll assume you mean something that could in theory be remotely plausible. 'kay?

How can you kill someone that's allready dead? He lived 2000 years ago duh!:headbang:
This whole thing is about travelling back in time to kill people. Supposing time travel was possible, you could kill Moses, but only after he did everything historically he was supposed to do. That's my point. Unless, as some pedants have forced me to assume is implied due to the misnomic nature of their idea of "time travel", you have travelled not into the past but into another dimension that is identical to ours but whose history is earlier on than our own and whose present you can therefore manipulate by killing Moses as you please.

I don't care, as long as he does it with a toaster:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Doveofwar/75864d25.jpg

Wanna know something freaky? That toaster is exactly the same as mine - in every freakin' way! Either someone's trying to scare me, or it's a subtle advertising ploy lol.

And I don't think I'd kill anyone - the world seems fairly ok the way it is atm, and what's done is done, I say we just leave it like that :D

Although, George Bush on the other hand... :p

Yay! And maybe the mainstream left-wing would have been anarchist oriented instead. :p

That would be so cool, no more capitalism:D

It's called causality! From your perspective, it is absolutely impossible for me to change the past, because your past is exactly what it always has been.I might never noticed you changed time and thus my past, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen from your perspective.
Causality is a finicky thing, it doesn't logically have to be the case that something later in time is caused by something earlier. And there are other solutions to time paradoxes than alternate timelines. It really depends on what reality is in the first place.

Nobody seems to understand the nature of timeI suppose that's true; of course nobody includes you and me as well..

Geez, Kamsaki, you take an innocuous little thread that's all about "what if" and try to insist that it has to be based on logic and scientific plausability. We're talking about an imaginary hit man using an imaginary time machine to go back and kill some figure in history that we imgaine the world might have been better off without. Logic and causality have nothing to do with it.

Lighten up already, for cryin' out loud.

...or better yet, try reading some fiction - preferably fantasy or sci-fi. You'll find it's all about stuff that never really happened and/or could never possibly happen in this world. Should stun you completely.

Used to have these sorts of discussions back in highschool... all kinds of famous names came up.

I think... the guy who came up with the conspiracy to wipe history clean of all memory of Pope Jane, the only female pope...
I'll never forget talking to an ex-nun, who told me about the holes in history and the stories of Pope Jane, and some of the weird traditions they have when picking a pope... like how they have to sit on a stool with a hole in it, and someone gets underneath to make sure they have a penis.
Yeah. Weird.
Apparently everyone thought she was a man, until she gave birth rather publicly... very interesting story. Wish I could find some sort of documents. :P

Jesus.

That would be interesting....... :p

Jesus.

That would be interesting....... :p

That'd be cool - think about it, since this hitman is apparently god, or has god-like powers, and Jesus is also God, then they'd have some awesome duke-out in Israel, with crazy happenings... I feel a Roland Emmerich film coming on, only it's set in America and involves mass destruction of said place.

or maybe go all the way back to the bloke who started conservatism
<Rousseau spake here>
I'd kill the first ignorant tit who walked out of his royally appointed quarters, strode through a royally maintained park, and then decided that nature was superior to civilization. Nevermind the fact that mankind has been fleeing nature since the two met up in a dark forest and nature demanded that mankind submit to the ass-raping that every other species gets.
How much better life would be if that idiot had never had a chance to spread his poisonous idealism about clean farm houses and disease free, idle childhoods in the fields.

That'd be cool - think about it, since this hitman is apparently god, or has god-like powers, and Jesus is also God, then they'd have some awesome duke-out in Israel, with crazy happenings... I feel a Roland Emmerich film coming on, only it's set in America and involves mass destruction of said place.
"Showdown of the Gods". I can imagine it now....

The very first Christian who started to propagate the idea.[tehehehe]

The very first Christian who started to propagate the idea.[tehehehe]
Jesus, you mean?

Yah thats the dude!:p

Jesus, you mean?
I already said that...

I already said that...
Well don't yell at me, Amecian did it.
Anyway, I've already said that the first Romantic is the one who my magic bullet is aimed at.

I already said that...


True.. How about Kain?

Yay! And maybe the mainstream left-wing would have been anarchist oriented instead. :p

Oh goody. We can all follow in the teachings of the anti-semitic Bakhunin

Amecian did it.
-snipped-

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y9/MAR-Peeves/sp1.gif

Karl Marx. That'd give 80% of the kids here fits. :D

You make it soud like he was the orginator of socialism or something.

This whole thing is about travelling back in time to kill people. Supposing time travel was possible, you could kill Moses, but only after he did everything historically he was supposed to do. That's my point. Unless, as some pedants have forced me to assume is implied due to the misnomic nature of their idea of "time travel", you have travelled not into the past but into another dimension that is identical to ours but whose history is earlier on than our own and whose present you can therefore manipulate by killing Moses as you please.

Dammit Kansaki, you take all the fun out of murder :mad:


I think... the guy who came up with the conspiracy to wipe history clean of all memory of Pope Jane, the only female pope...

I don't know about Pope Jane, but their leader singer is touring LA at the moment.

Unless of course, you mean Pope Joan. (http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/popeJoan.html)


Wish I could find some sort of documents. :P

Good luck with that. :rolleyes:

Oh goody. We can all follow in the teachings of the anti-semitic Bakhunin

Hey, don't forget the misogynistic Proudhon.

I'd kill the first ignorant tit who walked out of his royally appointed quarters, strode through a royally maintained park, and then decided that nature was superior to civilization. Nevermind the fact that mankind has been fleeing nature since the two met up in a dark forest and nature demanded that mankind submit to the ass-raping that every other species gets.
How much better life would be if that idiot had never had a chance to spread his poisonous idealism about clean farm houses and disease free, idle childhoods in the fields.

very interesting