NationStates Jolt Archive

Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.

No sentence fragments.

It behooves us to avoid archaisms.

Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.

Don't use no double negatives.

If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times: resist hyperbole.

Avoid commas, that are not necessary.

Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.

Writing carefully, dangling participles should not be used.

Kill all exclamation points!!!

Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

Take the bull by the hand, and don't mix metaphors.

Don't verb nouns.

Never ever use repetitive redundancies.

Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.

"To read makes our English good" -Alexander Harris

Oh, and the credit goes to William Safire, reprinted without permission from his book Fumblerules.

d0n'7 u53 num83r5 inst34d 0f l3773r5

i have perfect writing skilz, i know, 'cause im edgamacated...

Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.

No sentence fragments.

It behooves us to avoid archaisms.

Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.

Don't use no double negatives.

If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times: resist hyperbole.

Avoid commas, that are not necessary.

Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.

Writing carefully, dangling participles should not be used.

Kill all exclamation points!!!

Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

Take the bull by the hand, and don't mix metaphors.

Don't verb nouns.

Never ever use repetitive redundancies.

Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.
Use continuous prose in place of semi-witty one liners, wherever possible.

When making a point, avoid obvious irony.

¬_¬

Oops.

Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

Always remember to finish what

Aviod tyops.

Try not to ever split infinitives.

A preposition should not be the word you end a sentence with.

And don't start a sentence with a conjuction.

Never mispell words.

Syntax correct must use you.

Methinks thine opposition to archaisms serveth not our best interests! Thou art in need of stake burning for thine unholy dismissal of God's most glorious gift to us.

Thus Flome Letila

Methinks thine opposition to archaisms serveth not our best interests! Thou art in need of stake burning for thine unholy dismissal of God's most glorious gift to us.

Thus Flome Letila
Problem is that a lot of archaisms aren't used properly anymore.

-eth is thrown everywhere

"methinks" is used for "I think"

"thou" used without "art"

"wherefore" used for where

new words mixed with old

and many more

If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times: resist hyperbole.

But... but... hyperbole is the greatest thing ever created by man!

Also, that list is hilarious. :D

My God! All of you are wrong! To write "good," you first grab a piece of paper and a writing utensil. You then grasp the utensil and write the letters G, O, O again, and D.

I take no responsibility if my spelling is not perfect! I hate spelling!

That's supposed to be "how to write well";)

My God! All of you are wrong! To write "good," you first grab a piece of paper and a writing utensil. You then grasp the utensil and write the letters G, O, O again, and D.

I take no responsibility if my spelling is not perfect! I hate spelling!

Correct. You win the prize.

The advice in the original post still holds true for those of you who wish to write well, of course.

:p

Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.

No sentence fragments.

It behooves us to avoid archaisms.

Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.

Don't use no double negatives.

If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times: resist hyperbole.

Avoid commas, that are not necessary.

Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.

Writing carefully, dangling participles should not be used.

Kill all exclamation points!!!

Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

Take the bull by the hand, and don't mix metaphors.

Don't verb nouns.

Never ever use repetitive redundancies.

Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.
I was going to correct you on the Title of your Thread but after reading the intended sarcasm, I realized that I would have looked rather foolish.:p

I saw something very similar to that on a paper I got in english. I thought it was pretty amusing. I wonder why they were different.

That's supposed to be "how to write well";)

...

I was going to correct you on the Title of your Thread but after reading the intended sarcasm, I realized that I would have looked rather foolish.

Looks like somebody didn't actually read the first post. :D

Looks like somebody didn't actually read the first post. :D
Nope; looks like he did. :)

I do so implore you to reconsider your eefuting archaic terminology dear sir, you merely object to eloquent elaboration;)

For the most part, I am compelled to concur with you, but why would you object to metaphors?

Oh, and the credit goes to William Safire, reprinted without permission from his book Fumblerules.

Safire stole the idea from former Saturday Night Live and National Lampoon writer Michael O'Donoghue (my personal idol) and shortened it. O'Donoghue's "How to Write Good" (http://www.nationallampoon.com/flashbacks/writegood/writegood.html) is much, much funnier. :D

Anyone here can write gooder than that?

Dont omit apostrophes.

- Eschew ostentiatious utterances.
- In formal writing, I never use the first person.
- Pgfkelai pfoe glugoefuiur lphoiyhue lfeirjut dliafo rpgirhee.*
- Never digress from the topic of your sentence too much. I had an uncle who always used to do that and it was very annoying. He lived in a log cabin in Massachusetts and he owned a white horse named Shark, which was coincidentally also the name of the Ohio-class submarine that sunk the Pharaoh in 1942... (and so on)
- OMGWTF10L d0nt uz3 ch@t5p33k or l33t!!!!1111!!!1eleventy 1t cn@ r3311y c0nfuz3 ur r3d3rz0rz lol!!!!!111!1!!1one

* This rule IRL is obviously "Write in a language your readers can actually understand."

Now that's the funniest thing I've heard today, Czardas :)

Now that's the funniest thing I've heard today, Czardas :)
W00t, thank you *bows*