NationStates Jolt Archive

Working upon the assumption that the fictional nation this occurs in has approved the death penalty ( bitch about in the other thread), and said nation fancies a more amusing or interesting method of execution, what would you all suggest?

(People, I implore you to be imaginative here, really imaginative, and possibly callous if necessary...)

If one is going for something quick and simple, a decapitation by samurai sword would be good.

Crucifixion.

Perhaps being boiled alive in a vat of acid.

Being crushed feet first by a steamroller.

etc. etc... :mad:

Death by roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.

How about dipping the convicted criminal into boiling lard just long enough to crisp the skin, but not kill him. Then you toss him into a pit full of hungry dogs.

chain accused up in cell and release thousands of ticks...

make a game show.

convicts have to shoot themselves out of a canon into a net a km away. If they aim well, take into account wind direction, etc.. they get set free. One shot per contestant.

happy fun splat time:)

You could send them to Iran wrapped in an American flag.

A few RL nasties:

Tossed out of a helicopter over the ocean or from a thousand feet up, take your pick

Impaling -- Vlad Tepes's favourite means of execution, long and nasty.

The Wheel

The Boot -- might be the wrong term, but using wedges to progressively constrict and eventually break all of the bones in a person's legs, used as a means of judicial torture (one of the three degrees)

Drawing and quartering -- old English execution method for traitors and other people of whom the kings and queens weren't terribly fond. The person is hung until near dead, removed, disembowelled (the contents are burned before the condemned), then the four limbs (legs and arms) are each tied to a horse, which are then whipped to pull at the same time, causing the eventual separation of those limbs.

Slow torture -- removal of the skin from a living person; conducted by some Native American tribes, as well as a few Eurasian peoples.

Fictional:
Death by attachment to an industrial milking machine (males only?) -- use your imagination.

having a rusty screw screwed into your skull and, after lots of hard work, into your brain.

did wnder about a Takeshi's castle-esque arrangement whereby 100 death row are released into a succession of lethal games and obstacle courses, and all those who make it alive to the end survive:D

inventive executions like on Saw , would commission a panel to dream up fresh ideas

Why...I'll...I'll...I'll jump on him, and keep on jumping until...until I stop, and then..then I'll...I'll...I'll squish him into a million billionbliopikjhreraaerggzfhg *keyboard smashes*

Death by roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.
Death by Chuck Norris is too good for most people.

I vote death by Sweatin' to the Oldies with no water or food.

Slide down a giant razor blade into a pool of alcohol... Then light the pool off...

Death by paper-cut chainsaw...

Stapled to death...

Execution by sand-blaster...

Olara']Death by Chuck Norris is too good for most people.

I vote death by Sweatin' to the Oldies with no water or food.

Plus a personal appearance by Richard Simmons for teh win! :D

http://www.rugbyfootball.com/gallery1/richard_simmons_9.jpg

1. death by spanking "unless they like that kinda stuff"

2. multiple curb stomps "see american history X"

3. forced execution "suicide in some crazy way"

4. eaten alive by geese

I rather like the method of execution they used in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life. I'd post a pic here, but it'd get me banned. Y'all can google it. ;)

First Mel Gibson-style flaying - but only about 20 lashes with a spiked whip. Then cutting of symbols of whatever into skin with a knife. Then for the men, scourging until the man is no longer recognisably human, just a lump of dead, bloodied flesh - and for the women, Vlad Impaler-style ramming of stake into genitalia until it reaches the heart and causes death.

We're all a bunch of sickos on this forum.

have them sit in this chair with a knife in the back. create a track for the knife to go in, then stab the knife in their back and move it along the track.
or you could slowly cut away different body parts.... hehehe

btw-There is no death penalty in my nation

Make them watch as the people they care about are brutally murdered, krazy glue the convict's rectum shut, and force feed him a puree of his loved ones until his abdomen is distended to the point of bursting. Then give him a little kick in the gut.

In Chaosmanglemaimdeathia, those convicted of crimes warranting execution have the choice to fight to the death against the convicted criminal sentenced most recently after them, which extends their date of execution to that criminal's later date. If, for any reason, a criminal DOES attend his execution date, he is covered in angry bees. Completely covered.

I have two that I would to try on someone:

A large cylindrical container filled half way with rubbing alcohol and lined with rusted razorwire then the person is thrown inside and the container is sent rolling down a steep hill filled with lots of jagged rocks and drop offs.

or

A person's fingers are cut off then clamps are placed and tighted on all accessible pressure points on the body. The person, with all the clamps still on, it hung upside down by his feet and left to die.

Build an open topped Lexan (transparent) cylindrical container four meters wide and ten meters deep. Bolt it to a concrete platform and seal the botton edge with a thick neoprene seal.

Inside, bolt a chair to the concrete pad.

The condemned is secured to the chair by suitable metal cuffs.

Sufficient water to fill the cylinder to overflowing is released all at once, immediately driving the air from the condemned because of the sudden force.


Wait 20 minutes.

Drain.

Repeat with another condemned as necessary.

I have two that I would to try on someone:

A large cylindrical container filled half way with rubbing alcohol and lined with rusted razorwire then the person is thrown inside and the container is sent rolling down a steep hill filled with lots of jagged rocks and drop offs.

or

A person's fingers are cut off then clamps are placed and tighted on all accessible pressure points on the body. The person, with all the clamps still on, it hung upside down by his feet and left to die.

i'm pretty impressed that you decided that should be your first quote ever.

being fucked to death by a horse
being crushed to death by a press
lynching (like hanging but without the chance of a quick and mercifull death by broken neck)
drowning (being tied to stakes driven below the high tide line and left)
there is a nasty little device that is inserted into the urethra and then opend up and it is made of all these little blades (a bit like a sadists cocktail umbrella (pun intended)) not sure if it would kill you though, might make you wish it had

scarinly enough all of these have been methods of execution

Build an open topped Lexan (transparent) cylindrical container four meters wide and ten meters deep. Bolt it to a concrete platform and seal the botton edge with a thick neoprene seal.

Inside, bolt a chair to the concrete pad.

The condemned is secured to the chair by suitable metal cuffs.

Sufficient water to fill the cylinder to overflowing is released all at once, immediately driving the air from the condemned because of the sudden force.


Wait 20 minutes.

Drain.

Repeat with another condemned as necessary.

a practice similar to this one was used until recently in Chaosmanglemaimdeathia. First, the water was added gradually, as a single piranha was introduced. Before long, this method failed to draw viewership in Chaosmanglemaimdeathia, and the entire volume of water was introduced at once, as you suggested, only the volume of water was replaced with an equal volume of maggots. This attracted more viewers, but problems with cleaning and aquiring the suitable volume of maggots at a rate to compete with the number of executions necessary in Chaosmanglemaimdeathia necessitated a change to our current mode of exectuion.

I've always had a fondness for the viking one, where they cut open the prisoner, nail one end of his intestines to a tree, then force the poor bugger to walk around it until A: He dies or B: He runs out of intestine. If he manages B, he goes free.

*five minutes of maniacal cackling*

Gods, I'm sick.

In my domain, subversives are punished in an efficient and cost effective manner: medical testing to destruction for men and cosmetic testing to destruction for women.