NationStates Jolt Archive

What if you ruled a country (either your NS one or an IRL one), and you could choose 10 people (living or dead, but not fictitious) to make up your cabinet? But you cannot choose more than 10.

Choose from the following (although if you wish to omit certain ones, go for it):

Defense
Intelligence
Economics
Foreign Affairs
Education
Agriculture
Health
Interior
Environment
Justice



My picks:

Ministers of Defense: Yitzhak Rabin and Ronald Reid-Daly
Minister of Intelligence: Reinhard Gehlen
Minister of Economics: Ludwig von Mises
Minister of Foreign Affairs: John T. Flynn

TIN
Kanabia
Lunatic Goofballs
Legless Pirate
Czadras
Fiddlebottoms

We would run the greatest country ever.

emperors dont need cabinets...

Secretary of Defense: Chuck Norris
Director of Intelligence: Chuck Norris
Secretary of Economics: Chuck Norris
Secretary of State: Chuck Norris
Secretary of Education: Chuck Norris
Secretary of Agriculture: Chuck Norris
Secretary of Health: Chuck Norris
Secretary of the Interior: Chuck Norris
Attorney General: Chuck Norris

Secretary of Defense: Chuck Norris
Director of Intelligence: Chuck Norris
Secretary of Economics: Chuck Norris
Secretary of State: Chuck Norris
Secretary of Education: Chuck Norris
Secretary of Agriculture: Chuck Norris
Secretary of Health: Chuck Norris
Secretary of the Interior: Chuck Norris
Attorney General: Chuck Norris

:D :D :D ahahhahaha, thats perfect!

:D :D :D ahahhahaha, thats perfect!

Figured I beat everyone to it. ;)

Defenseshit, this is a waste of timeRommel, the Nazi field marshal
IntelligenceFuck this shit. I've got more important crap to doWild Bill Donovan, Head of the OSS back in the day
EconomicsIs anyone even going to read this?Warren Buffet, Stock whiz
Foreign AffairsFuck it. I'll just treat it as a jokeLarry the Cable Guy, Overweight redneck commedian
EducationHow about a comedianGeorge Carlin, fairly smart commedian
AgricultureAgriculture? Should that even be a cabinet position?G. Allen Andreas, of Archer Daniels Midland
HealthWho's healthy? Let's see, Richard Simmons, health homo
InteriorWhat's that, like parks and shit, right?Gary Leon Ridgeway, dumped bodies in parks
EnvironmentI have no clue who to appoint.Don A. Young, executive VP of Ducks Unlimited
JusticeFuck, nobody's going to know most of my picks anyway.Lewis Black, Angry commedian

Defense- Teddy Roosevelt

Intelligence- George H.W. Bush (dimwit Bush's daddy, say what you want, but he ran the CIA well, even if thats all he did right in his politcal carreer)

Economics- Alan Greenspan (careful, conservative, and painfully intelligent)

Foreign Affairs- Winston Churchill (Nuff Said)

Education- Aleister Crowley (I can make religious appointees, too, nyah nyah!)

Agriculture- No one, farm subsidies are a cancer on world trade and the leading cause of poverty in under developed countries.

Health- If I couldn't disband the department entirely...Viktor Frankl.

Interior- Thomas Jefferson (I'm taking Interior to be something closer to the US cabinet position of Secretary of State)

Environment- And now, ladies in gentlemen, the motor city madman, the Secretary of the Department of the Enviornment himself, TED NUGENT!!! (Hey, without a good forest, where can you shoot things with a bow, and if the bear is sick from mercury in the water, it isn't really a challenge, no, is it?) ;)

Justice- Eugene Volokh

All my cabinet decisions will be made by D20. The check value will be decided by elected government and the rolls televised live to ensure unambiguity.

What if you ruled a country (either your NS one or an IRL one), and you could choose 10 people (living or dead, but not fictitious) to make up your cabinet? But you cannot choose more than 10.

Choose from the following (although if you wish to omit certain ones, go for it):

Defense
Intelligence
Economics
Foreign Affairs
Education
Agriculture
Health
Interior
Environment
Justice


my pick for all of them would be Donald Trump.

All my cabinet decisions will be made by D20. The check value will be decided by elected government and the rolls televised live to ensure unambiguity.

And the secretary of the health and human services will be...Vecna...how th' hell?!

Defense: Richard B. Myers, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
Intelligence: Keith B. Alexander, Director, National Security Agency
Economics: Leora Friedberg, Professor of Public Economics, U. of VA
Foreign Affairs: Zeyno Baran. Director of International Security and Energy Programs at The Nixon Center
Education: Chad P. Wick, president and CEO of KnowledgeWorks Foundation
Agriculture: Dr Jacques Diouf, Director-General Food and Agriculture Organization, the United Nations
Health: Lee Jong-Wook, Director of the World Health Organization, UN
Interior: [ no nominee ]
Environment: Ralph Nadar
Justice: Rudolph Guilianni

Department of "Government Information": Hitler
Department of Industry: Henry Ford
Department of Defense: Vin Deisel
Department of Science: Bill Nye the Science Guy
Department of That Guy Who Will Never Be Spoken of Ever Again: Chuck Norris
Department of Ego: Czardas
Department of Arts and Crafts: Jesus Hernandez
Department of Public Displays of Homosexuality: These Guys (http://mexcity.8m.com/images/mex-pridecouple.jpg)
Department of Saying "What's all this, then?": John Cleese
Department of Everything Else: James Traficant

Meh, my two lines were fully serious, and then the next two departments were serious, but then I remembered that Chuck Norris is entirely overdone and reality just politiely wandered into the corner to commit suicide.

EDIT: Yeah, and I also broke your rules, but there is no way that I am going to cut funding to the Department of Saying "What's all this, then?" so I can waste it on stupid things like "Agriculture."

Department of That Guy Who Will Never Be Spoken of Ever Again: Chuck Norris



For your sake, I hope Chuck Norris never sees this. :p

For your sake, I hope Chuck Norris never sees this. :p
Ah! You spoke of him! The Head of the Department of That Guy Who Will Never Be Spoken of Ever Again will now have no choice but to perform That Foot Maneuver That May Also Never Be Spoken of Again to your face.

Forgot a couple.

Minister of Running Up the Stairs Two at a Time, Flinging Open the Bedroom Door and Shouting "Ha-Ha! Caught You, Mildred!": Fiddlebottoms

Secretary of Sitting My Lap and Doing Naughty Things: Aerou

I'll leave the running of the country to those who want to spend all ther days dealing with pinheads who can't make decisions for themselves.

I'd rather be The Almighty. I don't ask for much. Just omnipotence. :)

However, if I were to be someone's cabinet member, I think I ought to be Secretary of Education. Because I think people could learn a lot from me. :D

Defense ~The bastard child of Kim Jong-Il and Ann Coulter
Intelligence ~ The Entire Warren Commission
Economics ~ Leonid Brehznev
Foreign Affairs ~ Osama Bin Laden
Education ~ My old physics teacher... *cough*moron
Agriculture ~ Nikita Krushchev
Health ~ A Victorian industrialist
Interior ~ Tsar Nicholas II
Environment ~ Another Victorian industrialist
Justice ~ The head of the LAPD... around 1992'ish

I'm sure we'd see the end of government with these fine upstanding individuals at the helm.

Defense - Colin Powell
Solid strategy and a belief in the principle of overwhelming force. There's probably someone better, but Powell will do.

Intelligence - Vladimir Putin
The KGB was more ruthless and coldhearted then the CIA ever was.

Economics - Alan Greenspan
For me, it was either the careful and conservative Alan Greenspan or the nearly insane risk taker Donald Trump. After literally dozens of seconds of thinking, and hard thinking mind you, I settled on Greenspan.

Foreign Affairs - Tony Blair
Teflon Tony can think on his feet, and is an excellent speaker and debater. A good mind, and a good voice.

Ambassador to the UN - Bill Clinton
Bill Clinton is still well liked in the international scheme of things, and like Tony Blair, has a gift with the spoken word.

Education - Donald Trump
The Donald will either make the nation's school system the most effective, efficent, well designed system in the world, or drive it into the ground at supersonic speeds. Focused on results and performance instead of tradition and protocol, Donald Trump will ensure that what is needed for national success is taught in schools, not frivolous money wasters like Intelligent Design.

Interior - Thomas Jefferson
Founding father of the United States, had a clear understanding of why the seperation of church and state was so important, and why a people's civil liberties were so critical for the wellbeing of a nation.

Justice - Martin Luther King Jr.
Understands the plight of the minority and the importance of civil rights.

I'd simply fill my cabinent with Ninjas. Anyone who disagrees with them gets their heads lopped off.

All problems solved!

Intelligence - Vladimir Putin
The KGB was more ruthless and coldhearted then the CIA ever was.


Heh...Pablo Escobar and his friends might have a little something to say on that matter.

Myrth.

Minister of Defense: "Cuddles" the Gerbil (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v223/frameframe88/F02.jpg)

Minister of Ignorance: That Funny Ukranian Man (http://www.thomasmichaelcorcoran.com/essays/nonuscitizenhomeless/nonuscitizenhomeless/Vagrant%20DC-%20Peter-%20Ukraine.jpg)

Minister of Things that Squeak: Sir Walter F. Fuddlesbey XXXVIII (http://www.m-w.com/mw/art/monocle.gif)

Minister of Ridiculous sayings that start with "Well...": Little Jimmy the Fat Kid (http://www.zephyr.dti.ne.jp/~john8tam/main/Library/obesity_site/obese.gif)

Minister of Corruption: Bob B. Bobsonson (http://www.seac.org/sog/images/richman.gif)

Minister of that thing that does something: Mr. Twiddles (http://www.20six.fr/pub/ImperatorMacNuggets/chinchilla.jpg)

Defense: Erich von Manstein

Intelligence: There's a minister for that now? Hmmm, I would say some Chinese dude...they're screwing the rest of the world right now.

Economics: I can't choose myself? In that case I might think that John Maynard Keynes is da man.

Foreign Affairs: Otto von Bismarck.

Education: No idea.

Agriculture: Get rid of the portfolio. If not, then my Professor Mohammad Allaudin.

Health: No idea.

Interior: Kofi Annan.

Environment: Dr. John Quiggin

Justice: Kofi Annan again...if not, then the guy defending David Hicks in Camp X-Ray.

<snip>
I notice that you have no Minister for Putting Things on top of other Things, are you making steps to rectify this gap, or will you simply let the department flounder and die?

I would grow my cabinet instead.

Defense - Rose Bush
Intelligence - Carrots
Economics - Marijuana
Foreign Affairs - Garlic
Education - Milkweed
Agriculture - Wheat
Health - Oats
Interior - Mushrooms
Environment - Maple Tree
Justice - Ivy

Defense: George Patton. Can't go wrong with Patton. Though I will NEVER let him do a press conference.
Intelligence: Eli Cohen. The greatest spy in history.
Economics: Alan Greenspan or John Maynard Keynes. Two great economists.
Foreign Affairs: Golda Meir.
Education: My calculus teacher.
Agriculture: An Israeli kibbutznik.
Health: Louis Pasteur.
Interior: Dave Barry.
Environment: Ralph Nader.
Justice: John Roberts. On second thought, Rudy Giuliani. Keep Roberts on the Supreme Court.
Attorney General: My previous history teacher (an ex-lawyer).
Homeland Security: Merge with Justice, so I have Giuliani for both.
National Security Advisor: That guy who was Morgan Stanley's head of security at the WTC. He predicted that 9/11 would happen. Unfortunately, he didn't make it out - he was too busy evacuating others. What the hell, I'm bringing Patton, Cohen, Meir, and Pasteur back from the dead.

Defense - Lemmy I mena who would want to fuck with a countyr with Lemmy on the cabinet
Intelligence - My mate Q, the man cant remember what you tell him from one minute to the next so the chances of him giving away my nations secrets are minimal
Economics - Someone Jewish or Brian Lanigan because he's half robot
Foreign Affairs - My sister she's fluent in Spanish so she'd be the only peson i know who is in any way useful in an international situation
Education - Moorey that man taught almost everything i know amittedly it would mean that my nation would be overrun with thieves
Agriculture - Val Kearney he did ag. science so he must know something about farming otherwise i would just randomly ask culchies(thats rednecks for those who were wondering) what i need to know
Health - Clare Cocklock she worked in a drugs lab for a while so she has to know some stuff and i always feel better when she is around(he he he)
Interior - Dan o'Niell so at least my countries interiors would be covered in posters
Environment - Shamu Head just to keep his whiney eviromentally concerned ass happy, he'd probably be the only person i kinow who would do the job right anyway
Justice - Saxon T for no other reason than that he loves saxon altough he would have to be monitored by big dave so as to ensure the decisions make sense to a sober person

I case you can't tell these people are friends of mine (with the exception of Lemmy who I'm sure I could convince to get involved if i had lax enough drug laws) as i figure only my friends would be willing to live in a country run by me:p

Your mom.

Defense Chuck Norris (http://www.mindconnection.com/images/martialarts/chucknorris.jpg)
Intelligence Al Pacino (http://www.gonemovies.com/WWW/TopFilms/Godfather/godfatherFredoGroot.jpg)
Economics Donald Trump (http://www.hollandsentinel.com/images/100899/trump.jpg)
Foreign Affairs Hacksaw Jim Duggan (http://www.icwrestling.com/Hacksaw%20Jim%20Duggan.html)
Education Don Herbert (http://www.mrwizardstudios.com/)
Agriculture Marc Emery (http://www.cannabisculture.com/articles/2644.html)
Health Jack Lalanne (http://www.velvetdevil.com/images/JackLaLanne.jpg)
Interior Vin Diesel (http://www.queeria.org.yu/galerija/vin-diesel/vin-diesel_15.jpg)
Environment Steve Irwin (http://www.crocodilehunter.com/)
Justice Mr. T (http://www.studentweb.ncf.edu/ryan.compton/pictures/MrT.jpg)

Economics Donald Trump (http://www.hollandsentinel.com/images/100899/trump.jpg)


Brilliant!

Secretary of State - Otto von Bismarck
Secretary of the Treasury - Henry Ford
Secretary of Defense- Erwin Rommel
Attorney General - Thomas Jefferson
Secretary of the Interior - Theodore Roosevelt
Secretary of Agriculture - Zhou Enlai
Secretary of Commerce - Maxim Litnitov
Secretary of Labor - Carl Gustaf Emil Mannerheim
Secretary of Health and Human Services - Leon Trotsky
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development - Albert Speer
Secretary of Transportation - Georgi Zhukov
Secretary of Energy - Stephen Hawkings
Secretary of Education - Werner von Braun
Secretary of Veterans Affairs - Alfred Jodl
Secretary of Homeland Security - Erich von Mannstien

I'd pull a Gough Whitlam, with one minor difference. Instead of sharing every protfolio between myself and my best friend, I'd clone myself...

Your mom.
Indeed. Your Mom is one of the most versatile figures about today, partially owing to the large amount of seniority that she commands, but also because she has experience in every position known to man.
She is also an animal lover, and that is always a plus.

I won't need cabinet members.

All I need is the football, the go codes, and a phone.

Minister of Education: Richard Feynman. Just about every lecturing physicist has a copy of the Feynman Lectures to consult - and the man had ideas about the whole of education.

Minister of Defence: Sir John Monash.. Australian WW1 General, key developer of modern combined arms (see here (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_hamel)).

Minister of Health: John Snow. Pioneer of epidemiology, also a figure in the early use of anaesthesia.

Minister of Infrastructure: Isambard Kingdom Brunel. Dammit, I want gigantic engineering projects!

Foreign Minister: Talleyrand. Skilled? No doubt: he saved France's bacon at the Congress of Vienna. But I would have to have some kind of hold over him - he had quite a few bosses over the years...

Treasurer: John Maynard Keynes.

Attorney General: Not sure. Lawyers don't tend to make huge waves. However, I agree with Neu Leonstein; Michael Mori (the defender of David Hicks) is showing the qualities you would want in someone who will do this job. As much as I think Hicks should be jailed for the rest of his life, if a decent defence is not offered then we aren't much better than the idiots we are fighting.
But who to get to do the job of Attorney General? I don't know.

Director of Intelligence: The nature of spies is that if they are well known, they probably aren't doing a good job! So it is a little hard to name one. However, the head of signals intelligence would be Alan Turing... just not of the whole organisation.

And of course...

Minister of Silly Walks: John Cleese

Lets see, if I were a ruler...my harem...I mean, my secretaries would be...


Sec of Wearing Tight Leather- Eliza Dushku
Sec of Kicking Ass- Jessica Alba
Sec of Being Smart Too- Natalie Portman
Sec of Redheads- Lindsay Lohan
Sec of Looking Innocent but a Fiend Behind Closed Doors- Alexis Bledel
Sec of Feeding me Grapes- Mila Kunis

What if you ruled a country (either your NS one or an IRL one), and you could choose 10 people (living or dead, but not fictitious) to make up your cabinet? But you cannot choose more than 10.

Hey, Roach-busters. I see you're back. Keeping well?

Sec of Wearing Tight Leather- Eliza Dushku



Oh, SNAP! *drool*