NationStates Jolt Archive

Well...it's been damn near exactly one year since I've started posting on this delightful site known as NS General.

Hooray for the thousandth post. :)

I've been racking my brain all night, trying to think of an interesting topic to celebrate my not-so-prolific post count.

Unfortunatley, this is the best I could come up with...

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What's the craziest thing that ever happened to you at work?


For myself, I currently work at a hotel. A middle aged man made quite a mess of his room one day. The police eventually took him into custody.

I don't want to speculate as to what he was doing in there...but there were tarps all over the bed and floor, he had ordered an all day adult movie pass earlier in the day, and the vast majority of the room was covered in a fine layer of Crisco.

:eek:

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Here's to another year...and the hope that I will continue to spread both reason and insanity throughout the forum. :p

Lets see...

I was standing along side a wavepool, and two people started drowning in someone elses water. The panic kind, where someone climbs up on someone, and starts making them drown, because they are scared, poor swimmers, or some combination of the two. The someone else, who was counting hair pins at the bottom of the pool, didn't notice. I hit the emergency stop, and the kids are still stuggling after the waves stop. So, I got a dubble rescue, lugging two nine-year olds out of pull under my arms, ten minutes into opening. Rawr. :D (PS: Excuse the life-gaurd talk, I think its funny when people do CPR wrong and such)

Cheers to 1000th post! And cheers to me being the first replier!

Cheers to 1000th post! And cheers to me being the first replier!

Cheers! :)

I know there must be other horrific tales of workplace misadventures!

Some Germans smeared feces all over the bathroom of the restaurant where I worked.. I had to clean it up, but I used a rag mop, so it wasn't so bad.. damned tourist towns though..

I was a caddie at a golf club once.. people would get in odd conversations on their cell phones sometimes.. you'd think they'd put the phone down for a couple hours, but, no, they have to fight with their wife, even on a nice Saturday morning..

That's about it for now..

For myself, I currently work at a hotel. A middle aged man made quite a mess of his room one day. The police eventually took him into custody.


Clearly you've never been vomited on by a 9 year old.

Some Germans smeared feces all over the bathroom of the restaurant where I worked..
What? :eek:

What? :eek:

Yeah, beach town.. we had lots of foreign tourists.. I hate to conjure up images of the German/feces fetish stereotype, but damned if they weren't yelling in German in there.. I took German in school, so there's no mistake. Thank God no kids were around..

Clearly you've never been vomited on by a 9 year old.

No, but...

...wait, do I have a point?

No, but...

...wait, do I have a point?

No ... and neither do I ... I just thought it would be a fun thing to say.

No ... and neither do I ... I just thought it would be a fun thing to say.

And you were correct. :)

I could fill volumes and not know which was the craziest. In the Military I had the dubious honor of becoming the first person since WWII to survive being a towed parachutist. Anyway that is what the Secretary of the Army told me. Riding a motorcycle just never seemed to be the thrill it was before.

After the military I worked in a Max Prison, and to be honest, right when I thought I had seen it all, some schmuck would do something I never saw before.
I don't know how prisions are elsewhere, but in the US it is almost impossible to put a complete nut in a mental institution anymore without their own consent. As a result, we have to wait until they have commited a horrible crime to remove them from the streets, making our prisons also serve as mental facilities.

I have seen bizzare murders, sucides, escapes, rapes and most every other unimaginable vile thing one human can do to another, but the thing that sticks out in my mind the most is after recieving a serial killer by the name of Richard Grissom, who killed numerous women , I had to sign for, and screen an entire mail bag full of letters from women from all over the world, and almost all saying that if they were his girlfriend, wife or sweetheart, they knew that he could never do that to them. To this day, there is absolutely nothing a woman could possibly do that would surprise me in the least. There is simply no explanation for their thought process that I can understand.

Clearly you've never been vomited on by a 9 year old.
No, but I was really close. :D
In the Military I had the dubious honor of becoming the first person since WWII to survive being a towed parachutist.
I dunno what towed means...can you enlighten me? Like a trailer, or wrecked car with a parachute?
There is simply no explanation for their (women) thought process that I can understand.
I'm with you on that one.

Ever had to clean up a miscarriage in a grocery store bathroom? *shudder*

I dunno what towed means...can you enlighten me? Like a trailer, or wrecked car with a parachute?

What it amounted to was jumping from the aircraft and remaining attached to it as opposed to falling free under the parachute. It is a very windy ride but a nice view until the runway comes into sight.

What it amounted to was jumping from the aircraft and remaining attached to it as opposed to falling free under the parachute. It is a very windy ride but a nice view until the runway comes into sight.
Oj! Glad to know you rode that one out fine!

Ever had to clean up a miscarriage in a grocery store bathroom? *shudder*

ACK! No, but I did have a transvestite call me over to his cell bars once and show me blood all over the floor. He was thrilled. He said he started his period His cellmate with the TV antenna sticking out of his chest ruined the celebration.

ACK! No, but I did have a transvestite call me over to his cell bars once and show me blood all over the floor. He was thrilled. He said he started his period His cellmate with the TV antenna sticking out of his chest ruined the celebration.

Somehow, all I can think is " Holy Shit " Somehow - you make me want to work Maximum Security.:confused: :p

Somehow, all I can think is " Holy Shit " Somehow - you make me want to work Maximum Security.:confused: :p

It makes for some really hilarious stories, but to be honest the tragedies one witnesses make it something I could never recommend. Even more than the Military, it takes a very unique individual to be successful, survive and maintain your values. It tends to make you hard and very unsympathetic, yet at the same time it opens your eyes to things going on that ordinary civilians simply cannot see.... You also have to like to fight.

It makes for some really hilarious stories, but to be honest the tragedies one witnesses make it something I could never recommend. Even more than the Military, it takes a very unique individual to be successful, survive and maintain your values. It tends to make you hard and very unsympathetic, yet at the same time it opens your eyes to things going on that ordinary civilians simply cannot see.... You also have to like to fight.

I would imagine so! :eek:

Not a job for me...

Well...it's been damn near exactly one year since I've started posting on this delightful site known as NS General.

Hooray for the thousandth post. :)

I've been racking my brain all night, trying to think of an interesting topic to celebrate my not-so-prolific post count.

Unfortunatley, this is the best I could come up with...

---

What's the craziest thing that ever happened to you at work?


For myself, I currently work at a hotel. A middle aged man made quite a mess of his room one day. The police eventually took him into custody.

I don't want to speculate as to what he was doing in there...but there were tarps all over the bed and floor, he had ordered an all day adult movie pass earlier in the day, and the vast majority of the room was covered in a fine layer of Crisco.

:eek:

---

Here's to another year...and the hope that I will continue to spread both reason and insanity throughout the forum. :p
Only 1000:confused:

Only 1000 :confused:

Yeah...what's your point?

I have things to do...I'm a busy guy! :D

Well, as a librarian and later on IT phone support, I can't really compete with the goriness, but I got to experience some really good first hand examples of just HOW stupid humans can be.

To start with the library, I was at the information desk one day when a mother with her maybe 13 year-old son came up to me, asking me in broadest Fraenkisch dialect "Do you have books on lizards and spiders and stuff?"
I asked her what it was for, it was for a presentation her son had to give at school. I asked him then what the exact topic was and he mumbled that the teacher had said he could pick his own. To my question what he would like to do the presentation on then, I got the reply "Lizards and spiders and stuff..."
So I helped him pick some books that might be helpful for a presentation like that. Then he had to get a membership card as it was his first time in the library. While I was filling in all the details, his mother told me about his school career (it's so much funnier in dialect, though) "That boy doesn't read. He just doesn't read. That's what the teacher toldd me. He needs to read more. But he's not that bad, he made it to Hauptschule now. But he doesn't read. Me and his father, we don't read much either, but the boy should read. That's what the teacher said. So we went and bought him some books, you know. Books like these (she inidicated at the leatherbound editions of the Brockhaus and the Encyclopedia Britannica in my back), but he doesn't read them. Spent so much money on those books, but the boy still doesn't read..."
Well, a book's a book, isn't it?

In IT support, that funniest thing must have been the user who had wanted to "simplify" the settings of his MS IE. He compared all the settings with a colleague and deleted whatever the colleague didn't have. By the time they found that the colleague did have TCP/IP in that list after all, just a little further down, he had deleted the protocol from his machine...

Well...it's been damn near exactly one year since I've started posting on this delightful site known as NS General.

Hooray for the thousandth post. :)

I've been racking my brain all night, trying to think of an interesting topic to celebrate my not-so-prolific post count.

Unfortunatley, this is the best I could come up with...

---

What's the craziest thing that ever happened to you at work?


For myself, I currently work at a hotel. A middle aged man made quite a mess of his room one day. The police eventually took him into custody.

I don't want to speculate as to what he was doing in there...but there were tarps all over the bed and floor, he had ordered an all day adult movie pass earlier in the day, and the vast majority of the room was covered in a fine layer of Crisco.

:eek:

---

Here's to another year...and the hope that I will continue to spread both reason and insanity throughout the forum. :p

The craziest thing happened to my MOM. Well, more disgusting and horrific than crazy. She worked at an apartment complex and her boss wanted ger to clean a guys brains and skull fragments from an apartments wall after he blew his brains out.

The craziest thing happened to my MOM. Well, more disgusting and horrific than crazy. She worked at an apartment complex and her boss wanted ger to clean a guys brains and skull fragments from an apartments wall after he blew his brains out.

[little kid voice]EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!![/little kid voice]