NationStates Jolt Archive

What I mean is : Can you imagine to love more than one person from your opposite gender?
This is maybe for the people , who are married. Do you think you can love another woman, which is not your wife, or another man , which is not your husband ?

What I mean is : Can you imagine to love more than one person from your opposite gender?

Why would I ever want to romatically love someone of the opposite gender?

It's called a threesome.

Yes, it is possible to love more than one person. Not normaly practical, but possible.

I haven't been in that kind of situation since I was a little frustrated teenager, but it would appear this kind of thing happens fairly frequently to adults as well.

Why would I ever want to romatically love someone of the opposite gender?
It's kinda hard to explain...but it's what heterosexuals do....

It's kinda hard to explain...but it's what heterosexuals do....

Poor souls.

I love you.

i'm just learning to love one person... don't confuse me any more than is necessary! :mad: ;)

Poor souls.
I don't get it.. Why not do both? Best of both worlds & all that.

I don't get it.. Why not do both? Best of both worlds & all that.
As Fass would say, you're either, gay, straight, or confused. ;)

As Fass would say, you're either, gay, straight, or confused. ;)

No, what I say is, "you're either gay, straight, or lying."

It's called a threesome.

Or a fivesome (been there!)

No joke (for once.)

Yes, it is possible to love more than one person. Not normaly practical, but possible.

**sigh** heartily seconded

No, what I say is, "you're either gay, straight, or lying."

What I say is: Gay, straight or greedy.

In order to answer that, you have to ask another question - What is your definition of love?

Of course you can love more than one person, of ANY gender. And you can truely love more than one person, of any gender. I love alot of people (my family and my friends), but I don't love them in the "passionate love" sense. And, my girlfriend, of course, and soon to be my wife - I truely love her, in the romantic, passionate and awesome way, as God has created it.

One thing you can never set in stone is the definition of love.

What I say is: Gay, straight or greedy.

If only they were greedy and didn't back out when it came to sucking cock... :rolleyes:

What I say is: Gay, straight or greedy.
Greedy maybe, but confused? Heh, you lot are just jealous ;)

I think you can, but I also think Love, Admiration and Emotional Connection can be easily confused. The only preconditions for the former are for the person to suit a gender of your preference and for you to have a significant amount of the latter two for/with them.

It's a lot harder to fall in love when you've been in love with somebody else for a long period of time though, simply because your emotional connection with your previous attraction is so strong as a result. No matter how much admiration you have with anyone else, it takes something special to actually connect on a sufficient level.

But it is possible to fall in love more than once, and it's possible to fall in love in many different ways. It is, however, considerably more difficult to balance multiple attractions due to the problems with emotional connections.

No, what I say is, "you're either gay, straight, or lying."
Close enough.
So you can't like the trouser snake and the beaver?

Close enough.
So you can't like the trouser snake and the beaver?
They don't sell Hot Dogs at Taco Bell.

They don't sell Hot Dogs at Taco Bell.
But they both taste good.

They don't sell Hot Dogs at Taco Bell.

Ah, but there ARE combination KFC/Taco Bell joints.

/doesn't know what that means.

//probably dirty anyway.

If only they were greedy and didn't back out when it came to sucking cock... :rolleyes:
Perhaps it's got something to do with you being all ass & no dick? Or maybe it's just because you jump confused little teenagers or something...

Scratch the question mark. I don't want to know. Really.

Perhaps it's got something to do with you being all ass & no dick? Or maybe it's just because you jump confused little teenagers or something...

Bisexuals pretty much are confused little teenagers.

Just because you suck cock doesn't mean your gay.

Well if you're gonna claim to be bi, you better be guzzling it at least occasionally.

What I mean is : Can you imagine to love more than one person from your opposite gender?
This is maybe for the people , who are married. Do you think you can love another woman, which is not your wife, or another man , which is not your husband ?
If love is an illusion then yes.

Well if you're gonna claim to be bi, you better be guzzling it at least occasionally.
No claim...sometimes it's just about the 'rent'! (lol)

I'd say polyamory is possible. People already form multiple bonds of familial and friendship, and over periods of time form romantic/sexual bonds with separate individuals (though usually not at one time), so it doesn't seem much of a stretch that people could form romantic bonds with several people at once.

Well if you're gonna claim to be bi, you better be guzzling it at least occasionally.

Um Fass, some people just don't like to perform oral sex -- I frequently hear complaints from the male half of many heterosexual couples that their girlfriend won't..ah..."guzzle".

And there are definitely a lot of heterosexual men who like to have sex with women and love to receive a little oral attention, but would never dream of performing cunnilingus.

I'm sure distaste for performing oral sex occurs among homosexuals and bisexuals as well. Especially for those who have problems with their gag reflexes.

No claim...sometimes it's just about the 'rent'! (lol)
You can rent a room at my place any time ;)

Fass, though I couldn't explain why, your comments actually bother me a bit. Perhaps it's because it's part of a snobby gay community attitude I can't tolerate, or perhaps it's because it's sadly too damn true... Whatever..
Maybe it's just that you make it sound like my particular way of life is based on a lie. Yea, that's probably it.

I guess you feel a slight twinge inside when some idiot says you're mentally ill because you're gay. Same thing with this.

I was actually half way done writing up the high & low points of my lovelife & dating history when it dawned on me that I don't need to justify myself to some random closet bigot.

You can rent a room at my place any time ;)

Fass, though I couldn't explain why, your comments actually bother me a bit. Perhaps it's because it's part of a snobby gay community attitude I can't tolerate, or perhaps it's because it's sadly too damn true... Whatever..
Maybe it's just that you make it sound like my particular way of life is based on a lie. Yea, that's probably it.

I guess you feel a slight twinge inside when some idiot says you're mentally ill because you're gay. Same thing with this.

I was actually half way done writing up the high & low points of my lovelife & dating history when it dawned on me that I don't need to justify myself to some random closet bigot.

I just knew some bisexual would get bent out of shape over this. I just knew it. You guys are so sensitive. Look at you! If you can't take a bit of razzing, then what he hell are you doing on the scene?

I'm sure distaste for performing oral sex occurs among homosexuals and bisexuals as well. Especially for those who have problems with their gag reflexes.

So, what, it's icky to take it in the mouth, but not up the ass? Please. :rolleyes:

I beleive you can love otherpeople, but not be in love with more than one person, not if you are truly in love with them.

Yes, it is possible to love more than one person. Not normaly practical, but possible.

What 'e said. Most people can't and never will be able to. It takes a lot of dedication to maintain one relationship, much less two.

"Do you think, you can love more than one person??"

Well, DUH! Why should you even have to ask such a question?

I suppose it's possible...although I myself haven't even loved one person... or even half of a person. Although really half a person is a lot more gruesome than a whole one, and more difficult to love. But that's just me. ;)

What I mean is : Can you imagine to love more than one person from your opposite gender?
This is maybe for the people , who are married. Do you think you can love another woman, which is not your wife, or another man , which is not your husband ?
I choose not to, I am completely uninterested in anyone of the opposite sex besides my husband.

Of course. Simple example: I love my mum and my dad.

Whether you can romantically love two people, I'm not sure. It depends on what you class as love i.e. whether you class loving someone as something which involves having feelings exclusively for each other.

Having never been in love with two people at the same time, I can't really talk about myself personally. I'll stick with the one for now :)

Why would I ever want to romatically love someone of the opposite gender?

Fass, keep an open mind. I've tried it both ways, and you're definitely missing out on something.

I choose not to, I am completely uninterested in anyone of the opposite sex besides my husband.

I don't agree with this. I will say that i don't act on impulses toward people that I am attracted to...to a degree. But I can still be attracted to someone of the opposite sex who is not my wife.

I think it doesn't become love until after you develop a relationship however. So long as you never allow that to happen, you can live a successful married life.

Fass, keep an open mind. I've tried it both ways, and you're definitely missing out on something.

Tried it. It sucked. Moved on.

Tried it. It sucked. Moved on.
Your mileage may vary.

Your mileage may vary.

I got the best mileage out there, you might say.

To the OP- Yes

Some people can, some can't.

I can have sex with a lot of people without loving any of them - but some people can't even do that.

What I mean is : Can you imagine to love more than one person from your opposite gender?
This is maybe for the people , who are married. Do you think you can love another woman, which is not your wife, or another man , which is not your husband ?

I think that when you love someone, you really just love yourself. After all, if this person you love is so great (and they usually are, either they're pretty or clever or have a nice personality or whatever else turns you on), you want them for yourself. It's entirely possible to love many women (or men, transexuals, animals, whoever).

What I mean is : Can you imagine to love more than one person from your opposite gender?
This is maybe for the people , who are married. Do you think you can love another woman, which is not your wife, or another man , which is not your husband ?Course it's possible. My ex was still engaged when we got together and she was torn apart between me and fiance.

Course it's possible. My ex was still engaged when we got together and she was torn apart between me and fiance.

Homewrecker. :p

Homewrecker. :pIn the end, I just showed her she wasn't ready yet.

In the end, I just showed her she wasn't ready yet.
A very, very valuable lesson. :)

What I mean is : Can you imagine to love more than one person from your opposite gender?
This is maybe for the people , who are married. Do you think you can love another woman, which is not your wife, or another man , which is not your husband ?

i think it's possible, and rather probable, to become infatuated with more than one person at a time...but when you love two people at once, you usually stop liking one of them relatively quickly. i don't think i could ever deeply love more than one girl.

Greedy maybe, but confused? Heh, you lot are just jealous ;)

Polyamorous Bisexual Switch...I'm not confused I'm just greedy!

I'm sure distaste for performing oral sex occurs among homosexuals and bisexuals as well. Especially for those who have problems with their gag reflexes.

So, what, it's icky to take it in the mouth, but not up the ass? Please. So, what, it's icky to take it in the mouth, but not up the ass? Please. :rolleyes:

If you have a problem with the gag reflex then whether it's "icky" or not is moot point. Maybe even a point of frustration

I don't agree with this. I will say that i don't act on impulses toward people that I am attracted to...to a degree. But I can still be attracted to someone of the opposite sex who is not my wife.
I don't really have any attraction to anyone but my husband, so it isn't a problem for me.
He, as he says, has been able to "appreciate the female form", but as long as he comes home to me I don't really care

I think it doesn't become love until after you develop a relationship however. So long as you never allow that to happen, you can live a successful married life.I agree.

What I mean is : Can you imagine to love more than one person from your opposite gender?
This is maybe for the people , who are married. Do you think you can love another woman, which is not your wife, or another man , which is not your husband ?
How can you not?

If you are capable of love, then it will not be bound by familiarity.

Before I start, I wish it to be known that I acknowledge all criticism of my age, after all, how could a 15 year old know love? But if this isnt love, then love must be fatally powerful.

I am currently in love with 2 girls. One I have known for about a year, yet I have never met. She is a good friend of my best mate, who moved back to NZ a couple of years ago. I got her email through him, and since then we have forged quite a powerful closeness. Although I've never seen her, we have done enough talking via email, ordinary mail, and telephone that I feel like I know her. We tried the long distance relationship thing a couple of times, but she's a very physical person and couldn't handle it, which I spose is fair enough. I still love her, and its going to be interesting to see what happens when she comes over here in January.

The other girl I have known since we were 4 years old. She lives on the other side of Melbourne though, and since Melbourne's public transport system is arranged badly, and we are both a fair way away from any train lines, it is very difficult for us to meet. That and she has tight-ass parents. However, our families go on holidays together every December, and for the last few we have been getting awfully close. Judging by our conversations, it seems highly unlikely that nothing will happen during our time away.

This summer is going to be very interesting. I don't have a clue what will happen. But in answer to the original question: Is it possible to have physical love with more than one person? I have no idea. Is it possible to be emotionally in love with more than one person? YES, yes it is... and it sucks.

Bisexuals pretty much are confused little teenagers.

I'm 31, female and bi. I think women are beautiful and I love breasts, but I couldn't live without the tallywhacker. Maybe I am confused, but I prefer to think that it's not physical appearance I'm attracted to. I love people for their inner beauty and personality. I can feel equal emotional intensity towards both sexes.

What I mean is : Can you imagine to love more than one person from your opposite gender?
This is maybe for the people , who are married. Do you think you can love another woman, which is not your wife, or another man , which is not your husband ?

Yup. And no I am not a sex freak. I endure to unconditionally love everyone. Friend and Foe ugly and hot.

What I mean is : Can you imagine to love more than one person from your opposite gender?
This is maybe for the people , who are married. Do you think you can love another woman, which is not your wife, or another man , which is not your husband ?

I'll quote Robert A. Heinlein here...

"The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just."

Well, depends on what you mean.

If you can fall deeply in love with more than one person in your lifetime, yes. I don't believe in the notion that there's only 'one' person for you.

At the same time, yes as well, because of the above reason. However, I'm also a firm believer, as a guy, that only an idiot wants more than one woman at a time.

Now having sex with multiable people is possible (not to my taste, but then again, neither is lettuce), but being able to maintain a fully committed loving relationship with two people at the same time isn't and is folly to do so. SOMEONE will get the short end of the stick sooner or later in such a situation.

Of course it is possible... but it can become incredibly complicated. Because no matter how much love you have to share with others, your time will inevitably be limited. So, if one of your loved ones expects your dedication, the other one will have to yield to that and live with less. It can become almost impossible to balance...

Maybe it's possible to deeply, romantically love more than one person at a time. I however, am not capable of this.

I'll quote Robert A. Heinlein here...

"The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just."


Woo Hoo! Heinlein was the man! I love his works and ideals.

Woo Hoo! Heinlein was the man! I love his works and ideals.

Never heard of him

I'm under the impression that the question the OP meant to ask was not "Is it possible to love two or more people simultaneously" but rather "Is it desirable" ;)

READ!

Sarah: so what is new with you?
Nelson: just sitting and thinking as I always do
Sarah: ah
Sarah: so what are you thinking about?
Nelson: how we as humans work
Sarah: alot to think about
Nelson: not really
Sarah: oh
Nelson: less than I thought at least
Sarah: oh
Sarah: heh
Nelson: Everything is a machination of the mind
Nelson: there is purpose in every action we take
Nelson: and reasons behind it
Nelson: and they're easy to see
Nelson: making the once inpredictable humans very much predictable
Sarah: ah
Nelson: it's easy to see how people fall in and out of love
Sarah: really? like what?
Sarah: or who, I guess. can you give me an example?
Nelson: someone falling out of love or in love?
Sarah: you choose
Nelson: doesn't matter who
Nelson: all the same
Sarah: oh
Sarah: okay
Nelson: you know how a computer works?
Sarah: heh, not really. enough to work it, I suppose
Nelson: well
Nelson: you have binary--1's and 0's
Sarah: right
Nelson: 1 being on
Sarah: I knew that
Nelson: and 0 being off
Sarah: right
Nelson: 1 and 0 make up what's called a logic gate
Nelson: if A is true, then continue along the course of true
Nelson: if A is false, then continue along the course of false
Nelson: this is harder to explain without pictures
Sarah: sorry
Nelson: now
Nelson: you have a person
Nelson: can their thoughts leave their head?
Nelson: no
Nelson: can the thoughts of others enter their head? no
Nelson: there is absolutely no exchange going on between two lovers
Nelson: how does love exist then?
Nelson: well, in the form that everyone accepts love, it doesn't
Nelson: Everything we do is dependent on our logic gates
Nelson: we take everything and run it through billions of logic gates
Nelson: understood so far?
Sarah: yeah
Nelson: boring?
Sarah: nah
Nelson: if it honestly is, I can stop
Nelson: Well, let's say that Guy A loves girl B
Nelson: he has just met her
Nelson: love at first sight
Nelson: reality:
Nelson: he's processing everything he knows about her
Nelson: is she beautiful? True or false
Nelson: true
Nelson: are her eyes beautiful? true
Nelson: there's your attraction
Nelson: you add up the positive points and compare them to the negative points
Nelson: and then you apply that to a scale of your own making
Nelson: and determine what level of "love" to assign to this person
Nelson: now guy A meets Girl B
Nelson: they talk for a while
Nelson: and the plusses and minuses change
Nelson: and whenever a positive attribute proves false, it reverts to a negative circuit
Nelson: if she rejects him
Nelson: that makes him feel bad
Nelson: suddenly, he falls out of love
Nelson: and he hates her
Nelson: but then she likes him
Nelson: so he feels better
Nelson: it's all about what makes you feel better
Nelson: love is nothing but a cold machination of profit versus loss
Nelson: you are in a friendship because that person makes you feel good and does things profitable for you
Nelson: in return for that security and keeping that income, you do things for them
Nelson: it's a classical symbiosis except within the same race
Nelson: But here's the real kicker which proves my point
Nelson: in all honesty
Nelson: there's two guys
Nelson: they have the EXACT same personality
Nelson: they're clones
Nelson: except one is really ugly
Nelson: and one is very beautiful
Nelson: besides that, they're the exact same in every way
Nelson: assuming there's NO outside influence what-so-ever
Nelson: who would you pick?
Nelson: and yes, it's the obvious answer
Nelson: (if you're still awake, that is)
Sarah: of course
Nelson: you would choose the beautiful one, right?
Sarah: I guess
Nelson: why not?
Nelson: that's one more plus
Nelson: and that one plus breaks the tie
Nelson: but wait
Nelson: enter society
Nelson: dum dum dum
Nelson: society says that you're shallow for picking the beautiful one over the ugly one
Nelson: so you find it more profitable to settle for the ugly one rather than be completely outcasted by society for the rest of your life
Nelson: also
Nelson: the beautiful one would say you're just interested in them over the ugly guy because he's beautiful
Nelson: which is true
Nelson: these factors run through the logic circuits as well
Nelson: and this high and mighty thing we call love does not exist in humans
Nelson: instead, we consciously and subconsciously analyze the situation and see whether or not we would profit from this or that relationship
Nelson: just as we would weigh a decision to join the military
Nelson: would your parents approve?
Nelson: is there a war going on?
Nelson: etc
Nelson: when someone falls out of love
Nelson: it's just that they have gotten to know you better
Nelson: and have had more time to study you and weigh you
Nelson: well, bad luck--they found more negatives than positives to the point where they don't think you'll show enough positives to overcome the negatives
Nelson: that's why relationships "don't work out"
Nelson: that's why people run off with new dates because all they see is the positives and not the negatives
Nelson: now, if one realizes this information and takes it to heart, they can understand the situations in their lives so much better
Nelson: they know why people do the things they do
Nelson: and you know that if you run off with someone else, they're going to have their faults as well
Nelson: so if you care for someone now, don't ruin it by running off with someone else
Nelson: and to give a little more time than you would otherwise to seeing if a relationship will work out
Nelson: this realization of fact applies to all matters of communcation though
Nelson: to everything we do
Nelson: the only reason I use love as an example is because it's wrapped up in a guise of being holier than it really is
Nelson: We as a race are pawns in a conspiracy against ourselves
Nelson: And yet still we are the blind puppeteers of our own conspiracy jangling ourselves on gossamer strings of lies
Nelson: If we throw away those dark-ages styles of thought, we can better understand eachother
Nelson: This is a really big pill for some to swallow
Nelson: it tears down the romantic illusions that once were
Nelson: and even for those that hear this and deny it with all their hearts, it still lingers in the back of their mind as true
Nelson: but to know the truth is not to say that we can not enjoy our emotion
Nelson: rather, we can enjoy to an even fuller extent because we understand it
Nelson: it's selfish, but we're all being selfish and it's ok because we're all taking care of one-another at the same time
Nelson: Understand?
Sarah: yeahh...sure she

<snip>

Hmm... so you are saying it is both possible and highly desireable to love as many people as possible? Given that you love people for the positive responses, both real and emotional, you get from them? I fthe aim is to get as many possitive repsonses as possible, it would be logical to go for as many people as possible, right?

READ!

Sarah: so what is new with you?

<snip>



Spoilsport... it makes sense, its most likely true, but I don't like taking such a cynical view of things.

Hmm... so you are saying it is both possible and highly desireable to love as many people as possible? Given that you love people for the positive responses, both real and emotional, you get from them? I fthe aim is to get as many possitive repsonses as possible, it would be logical to go for as many people as possible, right?
Yes but thats slutish.
It also assumes you are the Uber Babe and then none of it could or would apply to you because you wouldnt need to worry about being denied.

Spoilsport... it makes sense, its most likely true, but I don't like taking such a cynical view of things.I agree.

Yes but thats slutish.
It also assumes you are the Uber Babe and then none of it could or would apply to you because you wouldnt need to worry about being denied.


So, you're saying that if it weren't for society labeling such behaviour as "slutish", we would all do it?
Interesting thought. A bit antiquated in my opinion.

Also, you seem to imply that some people ought to count themselves lucky if they find one person who doesn't turn them down, let alone more?

So, you're saying that if it weren't for society labeling such behaviour as "slutish", we would all do it?
Interesting thought. A bit antiquated in my opinion.

Also, you seem to imply that some people ought to count themselves lucky if they find one person who doesn't turn them down, let alone more?
You may think it is antiquated...
I would like to see a resurgence.

Yes if we go by the previus rule of Anti-slut then the uglier less intelligent less athletically inclinded would suffer.

Why would I ever want to romatically love someone of the opposite gender?Don't worry about it. It's just what people do these days because everybody else does it.

Don't worry about it. It's just what people do these days because everybody else does it.

Funny 'bout that:rolleyes:

Yes, I'd say it's possible, it happens to me quite frequently. The problem being that I'm currently in a monogamous relationship. Fortunately, I'm not in this predicament at the current time.

(As far as bisexuality goes, I'd say it's possible to be bisexual but not confused or greedy, but that the word bisexual is often overused and misused.)

Never heard of him

*SLAP!*

It is possible.
I've done it, not on purpose... and it sucks.

Although, in an open relationship type deal, I could see how it might work and work well, however, when dealing with people who want you to themselves, it certainly doesn't work and ends up causing immense (inner) conflict.

I think it is possible to love more than one peson at a time, but maybe not for everyone. I, for one, have never had so much as a crush on more than one person at a time. But most people have lots of crushes.

As for the bisexual thing, those of you who think bisexuality isn't possible don't know what you're talking about. There are many truly bisexual people out there (though most of them seem to be female, at least from what I've seen).

What I mean is : Can you imagine to love more than one person from your opposite gender?
This is maybe for the people , who are married. Do you think you can love another woman, which is not your wife, or another man , which is not your husband ?
Sure. Why not?

*SLAP!*

That isnt nice.
Is he some American philosopher type guy? He sounds cool.

Sure. Why not?


do you have an idea how this will work? Can you imagine to love them both : physical and mental?
I am asking on my own behaviour...

:rolleyes:

While I think it's possible to *love* more than one person, you will most like not have an exactly equal amount of love for all of them.